Libertina
@Libertina
13 Years
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Misunderstood
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...have you read the other threads on the Libra forum? :/
Yes, that's my point. If the threads are to be believed we're a bunch of vain, self seeking narcissists who have no substance or integrity. I just wonder how we've earned this reputation!
Every good trait comes with a bad side. For example, they are nice oeople most times. Along with this comes the sense of obligation to be well liked. Libran characteristics have their perks (you guys are super nice, laid back, harmonious, peaceful, good listners), but if you look at the damage or the bad aspects that emerge from these good qualities, I'd say those good qualities are not worth it. Need to be liked, seeking constant validation and requiring someone else
To make you decisions is not cool. It lasts so long
To make you decisions is not cool. It lasts so long
Posted by aquarius09
Every good trait comes with a bad side. For example, they are nice oeople most times. Along with this comes the sense of obligation to be well liked. Libran characteristics have their perks (you guys are super nice, laid back, harmonious, peaceful, good listners), but if you look at the damage or the bad aspects that emerge from these good qualities, I'd say those good qualities are not worth it. Need to be liked, seeking constant validation and requiring someone else
To make you decisions is not cool. It lasts so long
+1
It's one thing to be diplomatic, it's another to be flip floppy and flaky when it comes to choosing one side and sticking with it. Diplomacy turns into enabling.
There's being nice, then there's trying to be liked by everyone. It's a very selfish way to live life because in turn, you end up screwing over SOMEONE for the sake of being liked and not based on what's truly fair- something that's touted by your sign.
There's weighing pros and cons, and there's being an indecisive asshole that drags others through it all while you make up your mind. Either you're in or you're out. And if you can't decide, stay the fuck out.
Some individuals within your sign take the good traits and stretch them until they're absolute bullshit and are terrible human beings toward others. It's just the seriously extreme side of these traits that gives everyone a bad rap.
+1, and that maybe the case with a lot of young Libra's, but it's the same for all signs. Every last sign has more negative than positive traits when they are young that you really don't get the gist of until you're older, but as we all grow and age, hopefully maturity sets in and the real work begins. I know some Aries, Sagg's and Cancer that still act the same way they did when they were teenagers. Rude, selfish, self centered, over emotional, egotistical, etc. and the list goes on. Then again, it also has everything to do with their other placements as well, so all Libra's..just like all Aries, Sagg's and Cancer's are not ALIKE. I've never been one to mince my words or care if I'm liked or not, but I'm sure the other placements in my chart has a lot to do with that, especially Scorpio. Personally, I feel I identify with maybe 50% or less Libra and 50% or more Scorpio. Still trying to figure out the Virgo moon thing though.
Yes I see that extremes of any particular trait can be damaging but I think these extremes are more likely to be found among those of younger years who don't yet have a strong sense of self.
Certainly I have learnt with age and experience that you cannot please everyone, nor should you try. It's a self defeating exercise but I know, for myself at least, that my motives have always come from a genuine place and it's sad that they're often held with suspicion.
I know when I have been trying to be many things to many people I have usually come of worse and I am certainly a lot more discriminating these days.
I don't have any Librans in my family or social circle so I am excited to meet some fellow Leebs here and maybe learning more about what makes us tick _—
It's nice to meet you guys
Certainly I have learnt with age and experience that you cannot please everyone, nor should you try. It's a self defeating exercise but I know, for myself at least, that my motives have always come from a genuine place and it's sad that they're often held with suspicion.
I know when I have been trying to be many things to many people I have usually come of worse and I am certainly a lot more discriminating these days.
I don't have any Librans in my family or social circle so I am excited to meet some fellow Leebs here and maybe learning more about what makes us tick _—
It's nice to meet you guys
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by aquarius09
Every good trait comes with a bad side. For example, they are nice oeople most times. Along with this comes the sense of obligation to be well liked. Libran characteristics have their perks (you guys are super nice, laid back, harmonious, peaceful, good listners), but if you look at the damage or the bad aspects that emerge from these good qualities, I'd say those good qualities are not worth it. Need to be liked, seeking constant validation and requiring someone else
To make you decisions is not cool. It lasts so long
+1
It's one thing to be diplomatic, it's another to be flip floppy and flaky when it comes to choosing one side and sticking with it. Diplomacy turns into enabling.
There's being nice, then there's trying to be liked by everyone. It's a very selfish way to live life because in turn, you end up screwing over SOMEONE for the sake of being liked and not based on what's truly fair- something that's touted by your sign.
There's weighing pros and cons, and there's being an indecisive asshole that drags others through it all while you make up your mind. Either you're in or you're out. And if you can't decide, stay the fuck out.
Some individuals within your sign take the good traits and stretch them until they're absolute bullshit and are terrible human beings toward others. It's just the seriously extreme side of these traits that gives everyone a bad rap.click to expand
That was a perfect elaboration of my
post. +1000. Libras seldom see the damage their "good traits" are causing. In their head, their being nice and cross the line into flirtation while the other person is thinking "he likes me or why else does he compliment me all the time, asks me out for lunch half the time". They end up leading people on thanks to their trait of wanting to be liked which emerges from bein nice. They don't clarify themselves when someone accuses them because they hate confrontation and this leads the other person to conclude that libra is guilty of their accusation.
Aquarius09 you've hit the nail on the head! People have mistaken my friendliness for flirting even when that's the last thing on my mind. It's only when they start making unwanted advances I realise they have the wrong end of the stick, then I get uncomfortable and try to extricate myself and then get labelled fickle or a tease aargh! I am consciously working on the way I relate to people but I'm the same with men, women, old and young...meh! Oh to be aloof _—
I'm extremely nice as well some say flirty most of the time I'm not trying to flirt. I've had men and women get the wrong ideas.
It seems like the few I really really really like don't see or hear me.
Or I really like the wrong people
Lol! Hopeless
It seems like the few I really really really like don't see or hear me.
Or I really like the wrong people
Lol! Hopeless
I am also very upfront if I like really like someone.
A friend I had was like this as well. I guess he was just a really nice guy I obviously took his kindness wrong and it took me awhile to figure out he is just a friend.
So I had to readjust my thought we agreed to not be sexual anymore (he initiated that proposal) I stopped inviting him and asking him to hang out with me . (Just little stuff like a drink )
Once I had started to accept things and was preparing my self for his departure out of my life because of his choice . That's when he asked about an invitation. It confused me and perhaps it was him just being nice .that situation was like the straw that broke the camels back for both of us.
I just learned that friend is a nice friend and I don't ask any man friend to do anything Concerning me unless he clearly suggest that he wants me In his presence. .
We can be nice ' charming and still be clear with boundaries.
A friend I had was like this as well. I guess he was just a really nice guy I obviously took his kindness wrong and it took me awhile to figure out he is just a friend.
So I had to readjust my thought we agreed to not be sexual anymore (he initiated that proposal) I stopped inviting him and asking him to hang out with me . (Just little stuff like a drink )
Once I had started to accept things and was preparing my self for his departure out of my life because of his choice . That's when he asked about an invitation. It confused me and perhaps it was him just being nice .that situation was like the straw that broke the camels back for both of us.
I just learned that friend is a nice friend and I don't ask any man friend to do anything Concerning me unless he clearly suggest that he wants me In his presence. .
We can be nice ' charming and still be clear with boundaries.
Oh and we both use to tell each other that we loved each other
I loved him. But he would say I love you too and sometimes he would add but not like that. I never understood his need to remind me "not like that " but not like what
*shrugs* he was just being friendly I guess
I loved him. But he would say I love you too and sometimes he would add but not like that. I never understood his need to remind me "not like that " but not like what
*shrugs* he was just being friendly I guess
Ahh, the age old question of 'can men and women ever be just friends?' It's difficult when egos are involved, I think one party is always going to feel short changed or rejected _—
This is for every single person here who is claiming that people mistake their "niceness" for flirtation. If your niceness is often being mistaken for flirtation by others, chances are you are most likely a freakin flirt who is unable to accept responsibility.
There's a huge difference between niceness and flirting. Being nice is being polite and courteous. Flirting is linked with wooing someone (excessive and unnecessary complimenting, touching, flirtatious gestures like winking, poking, pushing a person with your body). I know exactly how overboard libras get with their "niceness". They really are flirting but in their delusional imbalanced mind, they think they are being nice. I had a libra guy who was in my school course about two yrs ago. As an aqua and stellium at that, I knew he was just being "nice" to me, however if I was a typical girl or even a non air dominated person, id think he was coming onto me. He would compliment me every day on my hair, my face etc. It went from compliments to touching me like poking and pushing me with his body. I'm certain that he was just being his "nice", charming libra self, but little did he realize that it was inappropriate and by no means was it nice. It was him being straight flirtatious. I can guarantee that if it there was another girl in my position, his "niceness" would indeed be taken as flirtation because all his actions in reality were flirtatious
There's a huge difference between niceness and flirting. Being nice is being polite and courteous. Flirting is linked with wooing someone (excessive and unnecessary complimenting, touching, flirtatious gestures like winking, poking, pushing a person with your body). I know exactly how overboard libras get with their "niceness". They really are flirting but in their delusional imbalanced mind, they think they are being nice. I had a libra guy who was in my school course about two yrs ago. As an aqua and stellium at that, I knew he was just being "nice" to me, however if I was a typical girl or even a non air dominated person, id think he was coming onto me. He would compliment me every day on my hair, my face etc. It went from compliments to touching me like poking and pushing me with his body. I'm certain that he was just being his "nice", charming libra self, but little did he realize that it was inappropriate and by no means was it nice. It was him being straight flirtatious. I can guarantee that if it there was another girl in my position, his "niceness" would indeed be taken as flirtation because all his actions in reality were flirtatious
In conclusion, if most people mistake your "niceness" for flirtation, it's time for self-reflection so you can be more self aware. It's a lack of self-awareness issue and not woe is me
You may be right about the flirtation but I see flirtation as a bit of harmless fun. I don't put too much stock in it. If someone flirts with me I don't take it seriously, it's just an amusing way to pass the time. Isn't it nice to hear a compliment, share a bit of witty banter? Don't you leave the conversation feeling better about yourself?
True, I don't go as far as touching people with my body but a light touch on the arm never hurt anyone. Perhaps it shows a lack of awareness about others but hey, maybe we are right and everyone else is wrong? 😉
True, I don't go as far as touching people with my body but a light touch on the arm never hurt anyone. Perhaps it shows a lack of awareness about others but hey, maybe we are right and everyone else is wrong? 😉
Witty banter is perfectly fine and dandy as long as yhe context isn't romantic.
Last I flirted, I ended up leading on bunch of people innocently, and now that I'm older, I realize that what is fun and harmless to me isn't harmless and fun for the person who got led on. Selfishness isn't the way to go.
Last I flirted, I ended up leading on bunch of people innocently, and now that I'm older, I realize that what is fun and harmless to me isn't harmless and fun for the person who got led on. Selfishness isn't the way to go.
Posted by SugarfootPosted by aquarius09
Witty banter is perfectly fine and dandy as long as yhe context isn't romantic.
Last I flirted, I ended up leading on bunch of people innocently, and now that I'm older, I realize that what is fun and harmless to me isn't harmless and fun for the person who got led on. Selfishness isn't the way to go.
Anyone who hangs their hopes on someone being flirtatious has some REAL serious self reflection to do. That's just dumb. Hang your hopes on someone who DOES something to show they care. Not just someone who tells you you're pretty. That's too easy.
It's also too easy to blame a flirt. A flirt is just that. Nothing more. If someone gets led on by that, shame on them. Don't be desperate and you'll be a lot better off.click to expand
You obviously misunderstood flirtation as something minor like one telling another they're attractive. Like I said previously that flirtation includes excessive bombardment of compliments. Flirtation can also include caring gestures in which a person goes out of their way to do sowmthing for you meanwhile they were never interested. The best policy is to keep reserved or be solely civil with people you have no interest in.
Laws of attraction naturally brings forth flirtatious behavior. I become flirtatious in my body language and words when I am genuinely interested. Some people like libras are so obsessed with being liked by others that they suffer from what I can "I need to do whatever to make that person like me. I need to know they like me". That's their goal when they meet others. So they do what normal people would think is "coming on/wooing" just to make the other person like them. My virgo sister drops compliments every second. She loves to excessively compliment people and growing up, it led on so many guys that they went onto spreading rumors about her when they discovered that she was just being nice. It irked me because as a third person looking in, I knew her behavior was leading them on even though she didn't see it. Then I got into astrology and found out she's a libra moon. Mystery solved. Lol
Like I said before, Sugar, if one or two people mistake your niceness for flirtation, then I can agree with your comment. However, if the confusion is the story of your life, then you are guilty of being a flirt which that person likes to call "niceness".
Most libras I know suffer from a disease called "low self-esteem" which leads them to do bunch of crap like excessive flirting, being too nice for their own good. I've known libras to keep the back door open for their exes simply because thy couldn't fathom the thought of being disliked by the ex or bein the bad guy. Being liked by people is almost the sole purpose of a libras life. Lol
Most libras I know suffer from a disease called "low self-esteem" which leads them to do bunch of crap like excessive flirting, being too nice for their own good. I've known libras to keep the back door open for their exes simply because thy couldn't fathom the thought of being disliked by the ex or bein the bad guy. Being liked by people is almost the sole purpose of a libras life. Lol
Posted by Libertina
Do any of you guys ever feel that our Libran traits are viewed negatively?
E.g our charm is seen as fake, our diplomacy skills are interpreted as "sitting on the fence", the time we take to way up pros and cons is seen as indecisiveness and our desire to avoid confrontation seen as spineless. What gives?
I agree with you their's a lot of prejudices when it comes to Libra traits.
Learn from your Aries counterpart and just don't give a flying fuck, those fuckers can just go fuck themselves 😉
"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss
there's **
Posted by jeane
Perhaps it shows a lack of awareness about others but hey, maybe we are right and everyone else is wrong? 😉
No.
Posted by aquarius09
Flirtation can also include caring gestures in which a person goes out of their way to do sowmthing for you meanwhile they were never interested. The best policy is to keep reserved or be solely civil with people you have no interest in.
So if someone is in trouble and you can help them, you shouldn't do it? What if helping them gave you that warm fuzzy feeling? If someone I knew was in need and I have the capacity to make things better are you saying I shouldn't do it because perhaps they may get the wrong idea?
Aren't people responsible for their own reactions? Or are we to be responsible for others perception?
Come on, reserved and solely civil? That's a kind of boring way to run through life.
Posted by Sugarfoot
Libras enjoy making people feel good. I honestly feel robbed if I do or say something nice for someone and I don't at least see a smile creep across their face. I'm in it for them, not for me. Well, it's kind of for me too because I want their positive reaction. It's not about making them like me. Libras don't care about that nearly as much as you think we do. The same as a Leo needs attention, Libra needs to make people happy.
Absolutely. Well said. 🙂
Posted by Libertina
Yes I see that extremes of any particular trait can be damaging but I think these extremes are more likely to be found among those of younger years who don't yet have a strong sense of self.
Agreed. I usually see this bs from younger/immature/imbalanced Libras.
Posted by jeanePosted by aquarius09
Flirtation can also include caring gestures in which a person goes out of their way to do sowmthing for you meanwhile they were never interested. The best policy is to keep reserved or be solely civil with people you have no interest in.
So if someone is in trouble and you can help them, you shouldn't do it? What if helping them gave you that warm fuzzy feeling? If someone I knew was in need and I have the capacity to make things better are you saying I shouldn't do it because perhaps they may get the wrong idea?
Aren't people responsible for their own reactions? Or are we to be responsible for others perception?
Come on, reserved and solely civil? That's a kind of boring way to run through life.click to expand
I never said anything about not helping someone in need. Last I checked compliments don't ward off troubles in others' llife or save you from being raped or any other crisis. LmAO. You libras will say anything to justify your sycophancy. I'll simplify things for you. If I dress like a nurse, people will mistake me for a nurse. If I start showering a person with compliments, people will take that as I have interest in that person, no? You are responsible for the perception you give off! What world are you living in? If how others perceive you wasn't a concern then people wouldn't carry themselves professionally at work. They'd act like jackasses without any care of how others perceived them.
Posted by tiziani
" Flirtation can also include caring gestures in which a person goes out of their way to do sowmthing for you meanwhile they were never interested. The best policy is to keep reserved or be solely civil with people you have no interest in. "
LOL I'm just going to have to flat out disagree with you. If anyone should have problems reading too much into someone else doing a caring act for them - even as a perfect stranger - they need to work on their self esteem.
We should all aspire for a life where people go out of their way to help others. There's literally no point aiming for less. It's not my goal to walk around half-dead and "civil".
How did you interpret my comment to mean that I'm referring to helping others? The only thing that shows me is that your imbalanced sign is truly unstable and delusional to think themselves some messiah who go around and help others through their sweet talk and candies. LmAO.
Libra's sweet talk isn't even done to make someone else feel better, heck it doesn't even resolve someone's problems in life. It's done for selfish reasons like "oneself being liked by others". Are you gonna deny that? And please explain how you think your niceness "helps" others and how you managed to read that from my comment.
Posted by Sugarfoot
Agreed with Jeane and Tiz. If I want to do something nice for someone, I'll do it. I won't be held back from being a good person to another person and doing unto others as I'd have them do unto me because I don't want them to "get the wrong idea". Surely, if someone does get the wrong idea it is they who suffer from low-self esteem, not the libra who did the good deed.
Aquarius09, it is precisely your thinking that inspired this thread. When I give people compliments, it's because I want to see them happy and I want to make them comfortable. It is the same reason why I always make more food than what is necessary and keep my home and place of business clean and smelling nice.
Libras enjoy making people feel good. I honestly feel robbed if I do or say something nice for someone and I don't at least see a smile creep across their face. I'm in it for them, not for me. Well, it's kind of for me too because I want their positive reaction. It's not about making them like me. Libras don't care about that nearly as much as you think we do. The same as a Leo needs attention, Libra needs to make people happy.
You've had some bad dealings with some libras and it clouds your judgement and your true understanding of libras at large. You should really try to work through that and not get stuck in that place. There doesn't always have to be some ulterior motive or a sad psychosis behind every nice thing a libra says and does to another.
Honey, I have plenty of libras in my life to understand how your sign works. Because everything has to be beautiful for libras, they can't accept the harsh reality that their sole purpose in life is to be liked and they will do it by any means necessary. If yoi don't wanna accept your sign is selfish, that's one thing, but please don't make it sound like "oh we love making other people feel good about themselves". If that were really the case, libras wouldn't be the biggest passive aggressive/two faces around who talk so much shit about the same person they catered to simply to make them feel good. I wonder how that person will feel when they find out that all that "feel good" catering was a facade while the libra talks shit behind their back.
Posted by Sugarfoot
Build a bridge and get over it Aqua09. Get over yourself while you're at it. Sheesh.
Why don't you build a bridge in your brain and come up with some concrete examples instead of turning this thread into a typical "libra self-praise/I'm an ostrich with my head in the sand" thread. Lol
Posted by aquarius09
I never said anything about not helping someone in need. Last I checked compliments don't ward off troubles in others' llife or save you from being raped or any other crisis. LmAO. You libras will say anything to justify your sycophancy. I'll simplify things for you. If I dress like a nurse, people will mistake me for a nurse. If I start showering a person with compliments, people will take that as I have interest in that person, no? You are responsible for the perception you give off!
Complimenting someone is NOT exclusive to someone you want to get in bed with or you want a romantic relationship with. Even having an interest in someone doesn't mean the interest is solely for romantic purposes. It just means there is something about that person that made me want to get to know them more. Why is that hard to comprehend? Only people with severe self esteem issues would think anyone nice to them wants to fuck them. Those need help.
And please, GTFO here with your skewed perception. Get HELP! I think Librans you knew mentally fucked you beyond repair. It's sad to see how you can no longer view anything objectively because of your past experiences. The more you post here on the Libra board, the more I realize how mentally fucked you are.
Posted by SugarfootPosted by aquarius09Posted by Sugarfoot
Build a bridge and get over it Aqua09. Get over yourself while you're at it. Sheesh.
Why don't you build a bridge in your brain and come up with some concrete examples instead of turning this thread into a typical "libra self-praise/I'm an ostrich with my head in the sand" thread. Lol
Because I don't feel like banging my head up against a brick wall all night long. God himself could tell you that you're wrong in your assessment and you'd be like, "Oh God, you just can't admit that you made a mistake when you created all the Libras." Then when he struck you down with lightening you just say "Ok, let's agree to disagree."
No thx.click to expand
Okie there. Thanks for bringing God in astrology talk. :smh:
Posted by AesmaDaevaPosted by aquarius09
I never said anything about not helping someone in need. Last I checked compliments don't ward off troubles in others' llife or save you from being raped or any other crisis. LmAO. You libras will say anything to justify your sycophancy. I'll simplify things for you. If I dress like a nurse, people will mistake me for a nurse. If I start showering a person with compliments, people will take that as I have interest in that person, no? You are responsible for the perception you give off!
Complimenting someone is NOT exclusive to someone you want to get in bed with or you want a romantic relationship with. Even having an interest in someone doesn't mean the interest is solely for romantic purposes. It just means there is something about that person that made me want to get to know them more. Why is that hard to comprehend? Only people with severe self esteem issues would think anyone nice to them wants to fuck them. Those need help.
And please, GTFO here with your skewed perception. Get HELP! I think Librans you knew mentally fucked you beyond repair. It's sad to see how you can no longer view anything objectively because of your past experiences. The more you post here on the Libra board, the more I realize how mentally fucked you are.
click to expand
Your first paragraph tells me that you can't read because I keep saying excessive compliments. Also, I've already explained the difference between nice and flirting. I don't know if the issue with you is illiteracy or just self awareness. Lol
Your second paragraph shows me that you're an emotional fool incapable of discussing something without getting butthurt. So much for talking about my objectivity. Lastly, I have libras (both males and females) in my life presently so you fail again in reading, which led you to ASSume that I'm talking about my past. Lol
Now I'm certain that this sign lacks awareness and truly doesn't know the damage their mission of"sucking up to people of interest" causes. You guys sound completely oblivious to how your "niceness" is perceived by others. Little do you guys know that your niceness is actually flirting and ends up leading on many people. But you guys will never admit that because your thinking is convoluted and you think you're being nice. The irony of it all is that there are many men and women that perceive niceness to mean love interest. It's human nature to think that way. It's not an immature or naive or desperate way to think that someone likes you if you're doing what I previously described in my post. When those claiming that being "nice" or flirtatious is not your problem but rather the other person's, that's throwing the blame on someone else.
Majority of my libra male friends have told me to not be "so caring" with other men because they take it the wrong way. Now I could be an ostrich and say, "I don't care how they perceive me. I don't know how they thought that or came to that conclusion". But no, I don't say that because I know that when you like someone, you are nice to them just as you are to another person. What exactly is different between the niceness you show a love interest vs. niceness you show to a random person.
Majority of my libra male friends have told me to not be "so caring" with other men because they take it the wrong way. Now I could be an ostrich and say, "I don't care how they perceive me. I don't know how they thought that or came to that conclusion". But no, I don't say that because I know that when you like someone, you are nice to them just as you are to another person. What exactly is different between the niceness you show a love interest vs. niceness you show to a random person.
Posted by AesmaDaevaPosted by aquarius09
I never said anything about not helping someone in need. Last I checked compliments don't ward off troubles in others' llife or save you from being raped or any other crisis. LmAO. You libras will say anything to justify your sycophancy. I'll simplify things for you. If I dress like a nurse, people will mistake me for a nurse. If I start showering a person with compliments, people will take that as I have interest in that person, no? You are responsible for the perception you give off!
Complimenting someone is NOT exclusive to someone you want to get in bed with or you want a romantic relationship with. Even having an interest in someone doesn't mean the interest is solely for romantic purposes. It just means there is something about that person that made me want to get to know them more. Why is that hard to comprehend? Only people with severe self esteem issues would think anyone nice to them wants to fuck them. Those need help.
click to expand
I had a very close childhood Aquarian friend. He always thought he was an expert on every topic of discussion. Now, at age 14 no one is that experienced to label themselves an expert on other people's personalities and behaviors, but he thought he was, and it was funny as hell. Mainly because he's still that way today. Needless to say, I realized that he was very insecure with extremely low self esteem and stuck on stupid with the constant need to boost his own ego. Always felt he was misunderstood because in his own words, he was just different. Kinda special..I guess...Anyway, talk about twisted and convoluted view of one's self? He hit the nail on the head!. He always thought I was too nice, but he was the one who actually started flirting with me, but I was never interested in him in that way. We're still friends til this day. In fact, I'm one of his only really close friends because I've always told him about his jacked up perception of himself. And yes I agree, if you think a person being nice to you is overdoing it, then that's a self esteem issue, but then again, a lot of folks are not used to being treated nicely without thinking someone has a hidden agenda. Point taken.
Posted by Sugarfoot
It's also too easy to blame a flirt. A flirt is just that. Nothing more. If someone gets led on by that, shame on them. Don't be desperate and you'll be a lot better off.
"I'm not accountable for my actions. It's their fault!"
Just because YOU see flirting as innocent fun doesn't mean others do too. Everyone has differing opinions on what flirting is. Don't act like it's nothing when you know it's enough to start fights within relationships or fights in public because someone was upset that "harmless" flirting was going on.
It doesn't automatically make it okay to do it because YOU think it's just innocent fun for your egos. Sorry.
As for the usual ganging up in pussy fashion against aq09, lol. I get what you guys are saying, but I also get her point. What I don't get is why you guys are ignoring points she made and skewing them into something else.
One important word you all seem to be missing is "excessive." Being nice is fine. There's nothing wrong with doing nice things for others. But there's that line that a lot of Libras seem to cross that goes from just being nice to overkill/people pleasing/DYING to be accepted and it starts leaving others wondering wtf is going on. You even admitted in another post that you do nice things because it benefits you and your own squishy feelings. It keeps everyone "comfortable," because god forbid there be any conflict/discomfort of sorts.
However, one consistency that I've noticed in all the usual bandwagon backlash is that there is no "just because" behind the "nice" gestures. There's always some reason behind it that benefits you in some way, not "just because" you felt like doing it.
So now you're going around, doing nice things, flirting a bit, which would make anyone wonder if it's just nice or there's interest. Hard to tell with some Libras.
You all can argue and gang up pussy style all you want, but the usual lot of you that jump in haven't experienced the other side of your behaviors. Explain away, but don't discredit others' experiences with some of this asinine shit that other individuals of your sign are guilty of.
Remember, most of the complaints you hear are the extreme, imbalanced individuals of your sign. They take something good and just fuck it up.
PS- the OP gets a gold star.
Posted by aquarius09
Now I'm certain that this sign lacks awareness and truly doesn't know the damage their mission of"sucking up to people of interest" causes. You guys sound completely oblivious to how your "niceness" is perceived by others. Little do you guys know that your niceness is actually flirting and ends up leading on many people. But you guys will never admit that because your thinking is convoluted and you think you're being nice. The irony of it all is that there are many men and women that perceive niceness to mean love interest. It's human nature to think that way. It's not an immature or naive or desperate way to think that someone likes you if you're doing what I previously described in my post. When those claiming that being "nice" or flirtatious is not your problem but rather the other person's, that's throwing the blame on someone else.
Majority of my libra male friends have told me to not be "so caring" with other men because they take it the wrong way. Now I could be an ostrich and say, "I don't care how they perceive me. I don't know how they thought that or came to that conclusion". But no, I don't say that because I know that when you like someone, you are nice to them just as you are to another person. What exactly is different between the niceness you show a love interest vs. niceness you show to a random person.
When I was growing up my dad and I would run errands or take drives. If we passed a woman on the street and she looked at us, he would tell me seconds later that she 'wants his body'. Of course it was a joke. But it taking you point to the extreme.
I think your first premises is wrong. I don't suck up to people of interest. I'd hope to be kind to everyone, regardless of station. We're not oblivious to how our niceness is perceived by others because you don't represent everyone. The majority of people have enough sense of self to understand it is meaningless.
So to your point of excessive flirting. Again, I have no idea what that means. What you perceive to be excessive, may not what I or another person would consider excessive. Should we gauge our flirting on a scale that you've determined? Is there a chart somewhere that I could refer to?
I don't perceive niceness to mean love interest. If I am nice to a child, does that mean I want to sleep with that child? It is not human nature. If I am...
...If I am waiting in traffic and let someone into my lane, do they suddenly think I want to get them naked?
Your friends aren't telling you to not be caring to safeguard the feelings of others but to safeguard you. Because you are ultimately the person gets upset by all of this. It's not about how others perceive you, it's about trying to stem your frustration when these men don't give you the response you want.
I won't change my personality to satisfy you or anyone else. You cannot expect the world to tiptoe around you and your sensibilities. Just like the rest of us must accept the differences in others. We may not like it but it's about living cohesively with others.
And the difference in niceness shown between love interest vs random person? About 5000% .
Your friends aren't telling you to not be caring to safeguard the feelings of others but to safeguard you. Because you are ultimately the person gets upset by all of this. It's not about how others perceive you, it's about trying to stem your frustration when these men don't give you the response you want.
I won't change my personality to satisfy you or anyone else. You cannot expect the world to tiptoe around you and your sensibilities. Just like the rest of us must accept the differences in others. We may not like it but it's about living cohesively with others.
And the difference in niceness shown between love interest vs random person? About 5000% .
Posted by Sugarfoot
And yes I did "admit" that doing something for others makes me feel good. Didn't know that was a crime. Sue me.
And yes I like for people around me to be comfortable. Once again, the issue with that is what— Of course I'm aware that things are not ALWAYS comfortable, things are not always beautiful, things can be and are very ugly at times. That's obvious. But, if its within my power to make things better than that then I will! I don't see what's wrong with that.
There isn't anything wrong with that. The only issue that could arise is the motives as to why.
"I want to be nice/make them comfortable because they're my friends and I do nice things for friends." Fine, okay.
"I want to be nice/make them comfortable because I don't want there to be conflict/issues. I'm only doing these things so things aren't unpleasant for ME." ...no.
If you don't do what some of these asinine twats do to those who come here with their problems, then you clearly have nothing to worry about.
I've met Libra women who turn their personalities on a dime in order to cater to whoever at the time. They're nicey to one person, but then two faced about it when person x comes along.
I know of a Libra who rides a motorcycle for a hobby. His track days are way out in the boonies and usually nobody is really willing to go with him because they'd just be sitting all day, in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to do. He's so desperate for his friends to tag along that he BOUGHT two more bikes and is trying to force them into learning to ride (nevermind the expense in the hobby), so they'll actually come out. Why? So he won't be by his lonesome self. There's just so much wtfery behind those actions, tbh.
I know another one who can't say "no" to friends, no matter what. Won't want to go do something, but allows herself to get coerced into going. Bitches about it later on, or says something prior to going, but is all smiles and shit. Publicly, goes on about how much those friends are like family and how much "love" there is for that group. But behind the scenes, there's bitching about being dragged out and how she needs new friends outside of that circle.
I also know of another one who will help whenever asked, but turns right around later and bitches and complains, like it was some hassle. It's like omg so don't help if it's a hassle?
That said, while I don't agree that every single Libra is guilty of this behavior, there very much is an imbalanced group out there that tend to have the same bs behavior that drive some people nuts.
Being nice? Not a bad thing. Being TOO nice? Can leave others wondering wtf YOUR deal is, or leave YOU open for some shady individuals to take advantage of.
Being nice for the sole purpose of being liked? Yep. Seen it. A lot, actually. Does that mean you, or every single Libra out there is guilty of this? Not really. But it happens enough to where it can be a noticeable trend.
Should AQ09 remember to state/know that not EVERY Libra is like this? Probably. I know I've been careful to make it a point to say that not EVERY Libra is like this since you guys take every freaking thing personally. However, I think you bandwagoners need to keep in mind that not EVERY Libra is innocent or means well in their behaviors either. That's something YOU guys needs to come to terms with. You'll readily jump all over someone for assuming ALL are like this, but several of you are equally guilty of stating that NONE are like this just because you may not be like some asshole someone is dealing with.
Being nice? Not a bad thing. Being TOO nice? Can leave others wondering wtf YOUR deal is, or leave YOU open for some shady individuals to take advantage of.
Being nice for the sole purpose of being liked? Yep. Seen it. A lot, actually. Does that mean you, or every single Libra out there is guilty of this? Not really. But it happens enough to where it can be a noticeable trend.
Should AQ09 remember to state/know that not EVERY Libra is like this? Probably. I know I've been careful to make it a point to say that not EVERY Libra is like this since you guys take every freaking thing personally. However, I think you bandwagoners need to keep in mind that not EVERY Libra is innocent or means well in their behaviors either. That's something YOU guys needs to come to terms with. You'll readily jump all over someone for assuming ALL are like this, but several of you are equally guilty of stating that NONE are like this just because you may not be like some asshole someone is dealing with.
Nah, I just think it's funny that not a word will be said until ONE person speaks up, then, usually the same 2-3 users, grow a pair and speak up as well. It's just lol.
I speak my mind no matter who speaks up. No bandwagoning behind my own thoughts, as I have no problem stating them regardless of who does or doesn't speak up/agree.
Like I said before, I understood where you guys were coming from- as far as the generalizing of "all." I just think some of you glazed over some points she clearly made and they were twisted into something else because much butthurt was to be had.
I speak my mind no matter who speaks up. No bandwagoning behind my own thoughts, as I have no problem stating them regardless of who does or doesn't speak up/agree.
Like I said before, I understood where you guys were coming from- as far as the generalizing of "all." I just think some of you glazed over some points she clearly made and they were twisted into something else because much butthurt was to be had.
Posted by tiziani
Aquarius09, you're clearly not that good at explaining yourself.
And there is no difference between being nice to anyone you love. That's the amswer to your question.
Read Rocky's post above yours. She seems to get my point just fine and I'm sure most non libras will understand my point just fine. When you step out from lala land and face reality, you will then understand my point as well.
And if there is no difference between niceness to someone you're romantically interested in vs. niceness to a random person, then you can imagine how people get lead on.
Posted by Sugarfoot
@rocky
Posted by aquarius09
Most libras I know suffer from a disease called "low self-esteem" which leads them to do bunch of crap like excessive flirting, being too nice for their own good. Being liked by people is almost the sole purpose of a libras life. Lol
Honey, I have plenty of libras in my life to understand how your sign works. Because everything has to be beautiful for libras, they can't accept the harsh reality that their sole purpose in life is to be liked and they will do it by any means necessary. If yoi don't wanna accept your sign is selfish, that's one thing, but please don't make it sound like "oh we love making other people feel good about themselves". If that were really the case, libras wouldn't be the biggest passive aggressive/two faces around who talk so much shit about the same person they catered to simply to make them feel good. I wonder how that person will feel when they find out that all that "feel good" catering was a facade while the libra talks shit behind their back.
You can defend this bullshit right here as much as you want. That's your prerogative. I dont take what she says personally, I just think she's flat out wrong and i will correct her. Not for her sake, but for readers who need to hear the other side of the story. Chick has an extreme prejudice against libras. It's written right there in black and white. She gets off on trying to downgrade everyone in the sign. That's her problem. But it's a bigger problem than her needing to throw in the word "some" before libras.
And you're only worried about gangs and bandwagons when they're opposed to someone you agree with. When the tables are turned you're the one leading the gang so....how bout no double standards?
click to expand
Honey, read properly. I said "most" at the very beginning for all the touchies out there like yourself. You bypassed that conveniently. I will never use the word "some". If you notice, I usually use "most" because I do feel it's most. You may not be like the libra that I described but fact of the matter is that most non librans on the website will know exactly what I'm talking about. They have come across a libra like this more than a libra like yourself. If you aren't like that, then tha
If you aren't like that, then that's you! That doesn't mean that your sign doesn't have people like that. I'm telling you this as a non libran. It may also be a self awareness or denial issue with you where one doesn't want to admit their flaws to oneself. You should take a detour to aqua board sometimes. We accept our flaws as if it's something to be proud of. Mind you, there have been "help me posts" on libra board in the past and even recently created by fellow libras admitting to the qualities I attributed to your sign, yet you are adamant that your sign isn't like that. So it's a denial issue where can't handle the truth.
Posted by jeanePosted by aquarius09
Now I'm certain that this sign lacks awareness and truly doesn't know the damage their mission of"sucking up to people of interest" causes. You guys sound completely oblivious to how your "niceness" is perceived by others. Little do you guys know that your niceness is actually flirting and ends up leading on many people. But you guys will never admit that because your thinking is convoluted and you think you're being nice. The irony of it all is that there are many men and women that perceive niceness to mean love interest. It's human nature to think that way. It's not an immature or naive or desperate way to think that someone likes you if you're doing what I previously described in my post. When those claiming that being "nice" or flirtatious is not your problem but rather the other person's, that's throwing the blame on someone else.
Majority of my libra male friends have told me to not be "so caring" with other men because they take it the wrong way. Now I could be an ostrich and say, "I don't care how they perceive me. I don't know how they thought that or came to that conclusion". But no, I don't say that because I know that when you like someone, you are nice to them just as you are to another person. What exactly is different between the niceness you show a love interest vs. niceness you show to a random person.click to expand
When I was growing up my dad and I would run errands or take drives. If we passed a woman on the street and she looked at us, he would tell me seconds later that she 'wants his body'. Of course it was a joke. But it taking you point to the extreme.
I think your first premises is wrong. I don't suck up to people of interest. I'd hope to be kind to everyone, regardless of station. We're not oblivious to how our niceness is perceived by others because you don't represent everyone. The majority of people have enough sense of self to understand it is meaningless.
So to your point of excessive flirting. Again, I have no idea what that means. What you perceive to be excessive, may not what I or another person would consider excessive. Should we gauge our flirting on a scale that you've determined? Is there a chart somewhere that I could refer to?
I don't perceive niceness to mean love interest. If I am nice to
Every example you've used describes niceness to a T. That is not what I'm referring to. That's genuine niceness. Helping or lending a hand is nice. However, winking or showering someone with compliments, going OUT OF YOUR WAY to help someone, even when you don't want to and always touchin them is not nice. That's straightttt flirting. It has nothing to do with niceness. And people who pull shit like that and claim "OMGERD! I have no idea how that person thought I like them" deserves a hard slap on their face. I'll give you an example to illustrate my point.
There's a girl that I work with and she's very nice and veryyyyy flirtatious. She doesn't tap my body when she talks to me, but taps almost every guy's body when she talks. She literally bends over backward to be nice. The reason I say this is because couple days back, she overwhelmed with work. She had no space in her schedule to help someone out. Anyway, this guy asked her to help him and she so happily/eagerly took on his task. After he left, the bitching start. She goes off: "As if I don't have my own work then he has to load his shit on me too. I have no fucking room to do my stuff let alone his". So naturally I'm baffled and I'm like "he asked you and you gladly took it so why are you making it sound like he's some asshole who forced his work on you". Note that this guy is on the same rank as her. He's not her manager or anything.
She didn't have the guts to say "no" or even frown at his request, so she passive aggressively talks shit about this guy behind his back. On his face, she's soooooooooo nice to him that it would never occur to him how much she despises him. Here's where I get pissy and talk about the difference. I am a nice person but I am not "nice" like her. Every time this guy asks me to do a task, I nicely say no. At least then I'm not bitching behind his back like a two faced douche. Also I don't go out of my way to do something nice for him because why should I when I don't like him like that. She would go out of her way to help but then bitch about it. Every time him or some other guy drops by to talk to us, she'll be tapping/touching them, giggling, paying them unnecessary bullshit compliments whereas I won't be giving them a pointless compliment and nor would I fake laugh at their stupid jokes. She would laugh at their jokes loudly and once these guys are gone, she'd be like "that guy has a weird sense of humor yet he persists on making jokes". And there I am thinking "so why the hell were you laughing so liudly when you didn't find him funny". Don't get me wrong, out of courtesy (true niceness) I smiled a lil at the guy's stupid joke but she made all of us believe that she truly found him funny when she really didnt.
Posted by Sugarfoot
@aquarius09
I'm not your honey so you can stop with that condescending bullshit. And can YOU read? I don't agree that it's MOST.
I don't care what you agree with and what you don't. I'll pull my condescending shit all I want so no point in you even asking me to stop.
I also don't care about how delusional you are about your sign. Keep your ros? colored glasses on for all I care 😉
Posted by SugarfootPosted by rockyroadicecream
Nah, I just think it's funny that not a word will be said until ONE person speaks up, then, usually the same 2-3 users, grow a pair and speak up as well. It's just lol.
I speak my mind no matter who speaks up. No bandwagoning behind my own thoughts, as I have no problem stating them regardless of who does or doesn't speak up/agree.
Like I said before, I understood where you guys were coming from- as far as the generalizing of "all." I just think some of you glazed over some points she clearly made and they were twisted into something else because much butthurt was to be had.
The words are so extreme as they are, they don't need to be twisted to be totally fucked up. But, that's my opinion.
I know libras like the ones YOU mentioned. But, they don't bother me and they really don't seem to be bothering anybody else. If anything, they're hurting THEMSELVES. Yes, it is a major struggle for libra to learn to be happy solo. But, that's their struggle. Everybody has their stuff they have to work through. It leads to some foolhardy behavior yes. But, every sign has their own thing that leads them to doing fucked up things in relationships lol. Surely that's not a new revelation!
That's why it's on all of us as individuals to look out for red flags that tell you what the deal is about a person before we get too involved. Time out for playing the victim role. I can't see myself being led on by a flirtatious individual. I know if they do that with me, as a complete stranger, then they do that with other people. It's common sense. Only desperate people fall for that mess. And young people who don't know any better. But, we all play the fool some time. It's how we learn. The important thing is to LEARN and not keep falling for the okie doke.click to expand
La dee da! All that crap you wrote just translates into "a libra is not responsible for the garbage that results from his sycophancy; but rather the onus is on you to be an all knowing oracle that you should be able to decipher between niceness that comes from having a crush on someone vs. genuine niceness." Never mind that niceness you display for both sets of people is the exact same.
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