My First Libra

I met this Libra at work. We are co-workers, yes, but I'm not too worried about that.

We started hanging out between shift changes. We'd smoke and I'd just keep waiting for the next bus. And then the next, because conversation just won't end. We did, however agree on friendship. We've moved on to texting. And texting escalated to consistent texting. It was like he is just telling me about every single day and everything he's going to do. He shares EVERYTHING. We've even video chatted and had a few calls.

We are only friends. As temping as is to want more. When I'm around this guy, I'm a bit shy. He ends up doing all the talking while a puddle forms in my panties.

Here's more: I'm celibate. It's helping me with my recovery, and also helping me from making quick and possibly poor decisions. I could have jumped on the wagon already! But it was end poorly the faster I move.

This is why we can only remain friends in the meantime. But again, the sweet guy is consistent on telling me all the details of his day, between all the good mornings and goodnights. Well, he WAS.

A few nights ago, I shared some personal things about my past. I wasn't intending to but the questions led up to it. Lately, all my conversations end up about me and my pain, so I guess that's why I keep quiet and let him lead. I don't want to be a downer for him all the time.

But I hated that I shared over text. Heade a joke to lighten things up at the end of some dark shit from my past and it just didn't sit well. I didn't want to take out the sudden anger on him so I shut down. I basically, without clear reason told him it would be good if we just don't speak for a few days.

Now we're almost back to the same routine. I say almost because yesterday, after he begun sharing the details of his day again, I just couldn't respond. How do I respond to all this sharing— "Ok, great! Good plan!" ??

I like the guy! But I don't know how to hold a conversation with him.

I'll see him tomorrow night. That's when I'm going to try to explain my reason for the space I asked for. I usually hide the details of my recovery, and I can hear myself stuttering as I try to explain that to him, too. I want him to know and understand. And he claims to be a good listener...

But he gets so excited, takes over the conversation, and it just ends up feeling like a one way talk. How do I get his ear? Or to slow down a little?

I'm a Sagittarius and of course, he's a Libra.

(Recently I came to terms with my slowly developing eating disorder. That's just one of many things, unfortunately. I know Libra is all about balance and hormony. And while I'm trying not to lean on him or be too volnerable, but I do wonder what kind of emotional support Libra makes.)

Most Libras are great communicators and sense when to push and pull. Text him that you have to tell him something and im sure he will be patient and listen. Don't lie because he will know bullbutter. Expect for him to try and help you in your struggles, that's part of our scales to balance things. Libras are really caring in most cases.

agreed - my Libra is very talky and mostly I listen - but when I do talk he listens well and provides good feedback

I think Libras handle direct honesty just as well, if not better than Sags. Unless they have HEAVY water in their chart. Be straight up.

Thanks guys!

I'm starting to notice the difference in our communication style s, but you're all right! He dids understand. He is a good listener. And he really does care.

After spending his whole overnight shift braiding his hair and watching... I don't even remember what we watched. He was still his chatty self, but slowed down a lot and gives me more quiet spaces to fill.

It's crazy, how we can spend all night sitting together, go back to nap the morning at my place (after hanging out with a co-worker/his cousin between shift change | Family owned business. Even his mom likes me, though I don't know how much she knows. He's very close to her!), end up doing so much more than napping, and then some hours sitting again, talking, smoking, and eating. After all this, we just can't grow tired of each other.

I had been celibate for a few months. The idea of breaking it began after we begun hanging out. Because I couldn't stop thinking about him! I was worried that something will change if we went there, even if those changes were within me alone. But nothing's changed. Laying down next to him, having never even kissed yet... There was nothing in my heart or mind saying, "no, not sure yet .. "



Are Libra's passionate lovers, too? Or am I just too lucky now? Because it felt like the most passionate and hardcore fucking I have experienced! He just wouldn't slow down. I think like his talking, he's going to have to learn to slow down a little for me.

I guess this is more of a human anatomy question more than an astrology one, and more directed to the ladies: this isn't the first time I'm told this and I don't believe it, but is it true that our vagina can just change to fit a larger size man? I'm sure it's true muscle memory helps, but honestly, why do some men believe this? I want to ask where this comes from, but I know too many stupid beliefs and mthes about vagina's that still live.

Thank you everyone for your input and advise! Always appreciated 🙂

Nevermind. 😢

I feel heartbroken. He just crushed it.

When this whole thing started out, I suggested we be friends. I wasn't looking for anything. I didn't feel ready for it.

Over the weeks, I admitted that I like him. He was very flattered. I could see it. He has this twitch in his cheek when he's nervous and smiling. When I asked him if he like me he said he "liked the idea" of something. I can't remember exactly..

Weeks forward, having hung out so much. Always talking. Everyone who knows us has seen it. People think somethings going on, but neither of us say anything. I think he likes the idea that everyone thinks something is going on. I liked it because I thought there was. Or is. I don't know for sure anymore because tonight, after we've been intimate, he reminds me that we're friends.

We're here on the couch, now away from one another. I haven't said a thing but my body language and distance makes it pretty clear. I made hot chocolate and was sharing a favorite movie.

He entertained this idea of a relationship, planting seeds along the way. Growing this attachment, with all the good mornings and goodnights.

Is this him pushing me to bring up a conversation about that or is he reminding me that this doesn't mean what I think it means?

I'm still learning boundaries. -_-

It's hard.

You could do better

i was going to suggest having a frank and open discussion with him but he has told you he currently sees you as a friend.

its up to you whether you are happy being a fwb or if you want something more. if you want something more (and it sounds like you do) stop fucking him.

as tiz says, reassert your boundaries, if only to yourself. work out a plan as to what you are prepared to do, sacrifice, invest.

if he does a - i will z

if he does b - i will do y

note that i didn't say "if he says a". words are meaningless (imo, especially to a libra) it's the action that counts. and that action has to be independent of fucking. hanging around and cuddling for me is not a great barometer of feeling. some people like to hang around because they like the post coital glow or they want to go another round.

this guy is happy with the staus quo. you're friends, you hang out, smoke, braid each other's hair and fuck. i can see why he likes it.

Thank you. Yea, fucking is being shut down! I've never met anyone like him, especially not someone who is like him in the bedroom. And good conversationist are hard to come across. I have no regrets. I'm definitely learning about myself. Healthy relationships are all new to me and I really don't want to feel used anymore. I don't want to be led on, even by my own delusions.

Last night, after he pointed out our friendship, I just kept my distance. Stepped out and smoked, asked myself how it got here or how I let his happened. Boundaries articles. How to set them. Some angry tears.

He was taking a nap before he got ready for work. Didn't want to interrupt him. Didn't even want to talk about any of him anymore.

I kept trying to wrap my head around how he could make me a part of life in so many ways, as friends clearly. But still. How?

I guess I just imagine doing that with someone I saw some future with, but maybe it doesn't matter to him. Or men.

I do feel embarrassed about it, but I know how to keep my head up and move past that. I'm sure there is gossip going on. I don't have to see anyone during my shifts, so fuck that.

Anyway. Before he got up to leave, I bring down and hand him his jacket he let me borrow. I handed it to him and quickly explained that I'm not looking for a fuck buddy or friends with benefits. I like you but this isn't what I want. I'm realizing I don't know how to set boundaries. From here on we are keeping things FRIENDLY. He wanted to talk about it but the time was limited. I said it's fine because I wasn't expecting a conversation to follow.

I mean, it's pretty straight forward, right? What else is there to discuss?

I've been through enough in this confusing word. I really just want to keep a clear head. It sucks because I'll always have more rules and boundaries to follow than he ever will.

Posted by F_G_Sag1127

Thank you. Yea, fucking is being shut down! I've never met anyone like him, especially not someone who is like him in the bedroom. And good conversationist are hard to come across. I have no regrets. I'm definitely learning about myself. Healthy relationships are all new to me and I really don't want to feel used anymore. I don't want to be led on, even by my own delusions.

Last night, after he pointed out our friendship, I just kept my distance. Stepped out and smoked, asked myself how it got here or how I let his happened. Boundaries articles. How to set them. Some angry tears.

He was taking a nap before he got ready for work. Didn't want to interrupt him. Didn't even want to talk about any of him anymore.

I kept trying to wrap my head around how he could make me a part of life in so many ways, as friends clearly. But still. How?

I guess I just imagine doing that with someone I saw some future with, but maybe it doesn't matter to him. Or men.

I do feel embarrassed about it, but I know how to keep my head up and move past that. I'm sure there is gossip going on. I don't have to see anyone during my shifts, so fuck that.

Anyway. Before he got up to leave, I bring down and hand him his jacket he let me borrow. I handed it to him and quickly explained that I'm not looking for a fuck buddy or friends with benefits. I like you but this isn't what I want. I'm realizing I don't know how to set boundaries. From here on we are keeping things FRIENDLY. He wanted to talk about it but the time was limited. I said it's fine because I wasn't expecting a conversation to follow.

I mean, it's pretty straight forward, right? What else is there to discuss?

I've been through enough in this confusing word. I really just want to keep a clear head. It sucks because I'll always have more rules and boundaries to follow than he ever will.

don't be embarrassed. you went in with the best of intentions. you were honest and genuine and this is something that didn't work out because you guys weren't on the same page.

you had some great sex, some great conversation but you put an end to it to allow room for something more suited to your needs comes along. you're entitled to want what you want. there is no shame in that.

So. Turns out he DOES want a relationship. He does want me. But he just doesn't want to fuck up. It seems like that's a mutual fear we both have.

He recently got custody of his young daughter. He helps take care of his parents, who are much older. He mentioned his age and expressed his fear of this just not working out the way he could hope it would go and that a few more years are wasted.. I reminded him that he's going to grow older no matter what.

He admitted this as I was explaining that as friends we can't be texting consistently. No good morning messages. No more being endlessly in touch. Because that's not how friendship goes. He promised to respect that but he doesn't want distance to grow between us so that we can keep getting to know each other.

I understand his position. His father isn't well. He has a little one who needs him. He's very close to his mom and takes care of whatever he can around the house so she doesn't have to.

Yesterday I woke up and started working on getting over him. The night before is when he told me he's not looking for a relationship. He's thinking long run. I took it as rejection but played it cool. He was kind and tentative as always even after.

But I loved waking up and having my focus redirected back to me. Even went to work in a happy mood. I accepted.

Only to be reeled back in...

He is one of the most amazing guys! A real catch. The kind I still want, even if as just friends, so as long as I know him still.

The hardest thing is going to be not resuming into all the daydreams about him. I described us as Lady and the Tramp, reversed. Because he's a family guy and I'm basically a stray with no attachments or family. He worries about a lot while I had to learn to roll with life even with my heartbroking reality. He's the first guy I can and have picture a future with, but that's the last thing I want to do now. Gotta shut by heart up and let this play out the most honest and friendly way possible. If this turns into something, I know we'd be happy for a long time (with communication between us always evolving, hopefully).

In the meantime: friendship and boundaries, and learning to be myself around the one person who makes me a little self conscious.

Sigh. 🙂 It's all good!