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So, first I have to say I love all of you guys, Libras, Taurans, Aquas, maybe even some Scorps 🙂

So, most of the questions on this board are about "getting to know" Libras. My question pertains to the aftermath.

Once you've been with someone for some time (say 10 months) and things are going well, does the "don't call me, let me wonder, I'll call you if I'm interested" still apply? Or would you like for your partner to take some initiative.

Currently, I sometimes take initiative, when I REALLY feel like seeing my boy and he hasn't made plans for us. Mostly, though, I still let him call. And he calls often. I'm just wondering if he might wish I made more effort at this point - now that we're both more comfortable with each other.

Thoughts?

After 10 months, your lines of communication should be open enough that he would be comfortable enough to tell you that he wants you to put more effort into calling him.

Men aren't the phone type - so I bet he's glad that you leave it to him to call. If there's a lot of trust between the two of you, I think you should stand by the old saying of "If it's not broken, don't fix it". 🙂

LOL yeah...don't be impatient like me - Im thinking 3 months is a long time!!!

After ten months and you both think it feels right you have a free reign.

No need to hold back at all.

Yes, I'm feeling like I have free reign, yet I'm holding back because of the pattern we've gotten into.

What I really want to know is whether or not you secretly want your partner to call you more at this point if you've been the leader. I am the queen of secretly wanting him to call...which is a lot of the reason why I let him!

If you call less he will wonder if everything is OK. It's all about balance.

You have to meet in the middle. We're not too good at complaining. So he might hold back if there is a change in your frequency of calling.

Libra does not mind doing the calling (the hard work) if the end result is positive. We do what it takes to keep the status quo.

But will adore you for picking up the phone and making a suggestion.

Suggestion? I've been thinking about leaving a sultry, steamy suggestion on his voicemail...I'm working on that one.

I think you should do that ammo!

It's all good. You really do have a free reign. To be adored by the object of our affection is all we want in life. That's the true Libra.

LOL! You have some experience with that!! I really want to do it this week, while he's at work and can't pick up (he ALWAYS answers when I can otherwise). I'm just not sure what to say. Maybe a bathtub or hottub reference...he likes that kind of thing.

But you like to find out through subtle means, right? Not be told "I adore you" or, God forbid, "I love you".

I'd love an I Love You - from the person that I love...

But an I Am In Love With You is perhaps even more powerful and also more vulnerable (it may not last) and perhaps also more charming?

We basically act to bring things back to the 50/50 line. If you never say I love you I will demand you say it, so that we're equal (assuming I have said it)...

Based on feeling and gut, we bring the relationship always back to the 50/50 line where to people reveal an equal amount of their feelings and two give & take an equal amount.

two*

There is an element of selfishness in there but it comes from the need for balance...it will NEVER not be like that because it's our core...

I did it one time ammo...it was fun. got a reaction out of him...but i'm too chickens**t to do it again.

So, I'm guessing if he hasn't said "I love you" (other than during sex) I should keep hinting until he does...in order to keep the 50/50. I don't want to say it and have him not be ready!

Saying 'I Love You' does NOT occur to him. And he is not expecting you to say it - that thought does not occur to him either - but if you do say it he'll be very happy and only then he will realise how nice that is....

Why wouldn't it occur to a Libra to say "I love you?" Is it because of the subtle nature of the Libra??

It doesn't really occur to them because when someone says "I Love You" to them, it's almost as they think to themselves "Of course you do"...because it's their charm and magnetism that drew you close to begin with. It's almost a given when you tell them "I love you" albeit it makes them feel good.

Nope, not true AT ALL. HP, we're not that bad...!!

It's not how we are built. This is not intentionally. Emotionally detached, remember?

So the emotional detachment is why you wouldn't say it?

It wasn't meant to be bad, Libra.

Yes, but it is not something we consciously plan that way. It's how we are...it does not cross us that the other one might need it...

I know, HP...:-)

We don't need to hear it because we look for the hints and that feeds the needs, I guess. Although I loved it when it was said to me. We can be taught, but the default package comes without...

So can you be hinted into saying it?

Wouldn't that be a bit deceitful?

I dunno. I say I love you all the time to the people I love including my friends. I don't believe in with holding. People need to know they are appreciated.

Yeah, I'm really just trying to distract myself with games. I don't play games to be cruel, but I do enjoy finding out things in a round about way. It makes it more interesting for me.

Here's my thing. I am afraid that if I say it, he will misinterpret it to mean "I want to get married." OR, he will assume that I have a long list of expectations that go along with those words as some women do. So, I think I'll casually bring up the subject in a conversation and let him know what saying those words means to me. I'm pretty sure he takes them pretty seriously.

LS - I agree with you, I say it to friends, family, etc. all of the time. But it's not the same thing as saying it to an intimate partner in my mind.

Ammo, wait for Valentines Day. At this point, there's no such thing as you saying this casually. At least on Valentines Day you have a gooey excuse for saying it, but still meaning it.

So what if he doesn't say he loves you back? You want him to say it when he's ready, not when he feels he should say it to be reciprocated.

When you say it, just say those 3 words, "I Love You" and that's it. Don't work into it and don't try to explain those words - plain and simple. Just don't get upset or hurt if he doesn't say it back right away. Remember, Libras are about balance. Saying something they aren't expecting throws them off balance - so let him evaluate and analyze (another thing they're good at) what you said. If he comes back to you and says it back to you eventually, awesome. If not, watch his actions. Usually their actions speak louder than words.

Yeah, it will come out naturally for me. I'm not going to plan it at all. Actually I'm not even sure he celebrates Valentine's Day - being from another culture. But I'm going to get him some flowers or something basic, because I do! A holiday for lovers - what could be better than that?

Not going to plan it? Sweetie, it's exactly what you're doing! 🙂

I know, what I meant to say is that I'm going to stop planning it and thinking about it and just say it the next time I really feel like saying it instead of holding back.

I am in a funky situation with my work right now - I'm on the verge of leaving and I'm miserable here, so this is what I do when things are miserable in one part of my life. I make up another part that can keep me occupied, entertained and feeling good so that it's not so tough to handle. I just have to watch it, though, because sometimes it can get me in trouble.

Crazy twins!!

I somewhat agree with Libra. 50/50 split. After 10 months, I would think the phone wouldn't be an issue at all, although like you, ammo...I like being called at first. It's only ladylike. But after that span of time, things should be a bit more established (in Libra-speak...equal)? If not, there could be more going on than who is calling who.

You're right yatta. Things are more established and I do call, I was mostly wondering if it might bother him that I let him call me much more often.