Seeking Weaning Advice

(taking deep breath)

Okay, after two years of pursuing and getting beat down and frustrated and confused and all that other stuff that happens when you are infatuated, especially with a Libra, NOW seeking advice to wean her out of my life---not completely, mind you, but to psychologically dis-connect to a certain extent. She and I are and have been doing lots of "just buds" things and having a great time (dinners, plays, movies, etc.) but I always go away hoping for more---and I HATE that feeling---WE know she just doesn't want more. So how DO you wean a Libra? As most of you have indicated (even a year ago, ha!), I need to move on---and the detaching is hard for me, focusing on OTHER women and getting into the dating game seriously is hard for me (except for one particular lioness who glitters in her mermaid outfit but lives a million miles away and is "off" relationships right now anyway).

So? Advice? Counsel? Recommendation of your personal favorite alcoholic beverage? (I would think QS and LS would want to jump in RIGHT NOW, so I'm looking forward to your input---as well as wit and wisdom from that insightful sage, ol' nic'; and of course I KNOW Chatz has SOME creative witticisms for me that have to do with her experience(s) plus a LMAO or two, as well as my other Libra pals).

Thanks in advance.

alcholic beverages I can do!

I tried Strongbow last night. It is an alcoholic cider. Not too bad either.

I am a big fan of the novelty martini and anything that comes with an umbrella. In fact, I have a bunch of drink umbrella's in my purse for rainy days like these. 😉

(((Atom)))

I know this really sucketh the great straw of life. 😢

((((Hugs)))) to Atom...

Sigh... Yeah, I have been here a time or two weining myself from a Libra, even after I ended the realationship. Still hard. As we know how good they are (in general).

Atom, I must admit, I am impressed and elated that you have FINALLY decided to end things. It was killing me reading some of your posts.

The first step is detaching yourself from her and healing, before diving into anything serious with anyone else. Take this time for Atom. Do some things you have been wanting to do for yourself for a very long time and have put it off for a reason or another. Like -spending too much time and money with Libra girl in hopes that she will change her mind. It is a hard road, however each day gets better. Look at Chatz!!!

I know, loneliness sux... I am witness to this these days, Ahhh what can you do besides remain busy and live and love life in the meantime. Always here to chat... 🙂

Hope that helps. (((Another big hug)))

dinners, plays, movies seems like you are or were doing a lot with her anyway. 2II black label beer.

Thank you for the hugs, QS! LS, I might join you in your hobby of collecting cocktail umbrellas. Might as well try some of those drinks I've never experienced.

QS, you're right about the healing thing (did that YEARS ago with another relationship) and time for Atom. So Atom is thinking about taking off for Hawaii for a week or two---PHYSICALLY getting away from Libra Girl and EMOTIONALLY doing something nice for myself.

FD, doing TOO much for her---but we guys get into that loop sometime. Thanks for the drink advice too! Pretty soon, I'll have a nice long list!

kg, 'have a bottle of Scotch in the cupboard that's never been opened (purchased about 17 years ago!). Might be a good time to give it a try.

Thanks for the mantra---yow, it's tough!

(*tear*)

***So Atom is thinking about taking off for Hawaii for a week or two---PHYSICALLY getting away from Libra Girl and EMOTIONALLY doing something nice for myself.***

Oooh I love Hawaii. My brother is there often on business. Can I go?

QS, I used to go to Hawaii once a year for at least two weeks at a time; spent over a month one time on the island of Kauai. For some reason I really love Oahu, even though it has a big city vibe. It'd be fun to have you tag along (will probably just sit on the beach most of the time).

(((hugs))) I know. It is very tough. One day at a time, it will get better.

Hmmm lets see:

Babysitter squared away:

Bikini
Sunblock
Flip flops

Yeah, I am ready. 😉

QS, You KNOW we'd have to take a side trip to the Land Down Under to pick up a certain lovely Leo, right?

No problem! I hear it is hot there too. Bikini? Yup that is probably all I will need. I also here (told by the lovely Leo)that there are hot Ozeans there too. Ooooohhhh. How many people can we take on this trip Atom?

Line 'em up!

7 for me each day of the week. How many you want. I will need your descriptions so that I can be selective and help you pick the very best.

* LS, I might join you in your hobby of collecting cocktail umbrellas. Might as well try some of those drinks I've never experienced.

OMG yes! Everything is better with a cocktail umbrella.

Don't listen to Kennyg. She is obviously deranged at the moment. 😛 There is nothing frou frou about it. If you go to Hawaii and DON'T get at least one umbrella drink AND one drink out of half a coconut, you'll have to answer to me! You should also set a record for the number of leis worn at one time. And if there isn't some Hawaiin dancing (forget the name) you are in big trouble Mister!

Sweetie, it's a hard, hard, thing to do but drinking isn't the cure. In fact, it's a depressant that makes you,...uhm....more depressed! Contrary to popular belief it doesn't even ease the pain but causes more of it when your face hits the floor! You're on the right track by getting away. A change of scenery, environment, and having an overall distraction from the routine of things you've been doing WITH your Libra. You need to change your routine in as many ways as you can and keep busy. Work more for awhile, if you can. Visit more if you can. But don't go to the places you used to go. I know that all sounds hard to do but you have to change your situation outside to match the commitment you've made on the inside. Letting go is painful but you can do this! We're all behind you. Whenever you feel the urge or the temptation to call, drive by, text, or email...DON'T.. You have to call someone else instead. Pick a friend (any friend that isn't your Libra) and write them or call them instead. That will help you through most of the time.

We're all here pulling for you. (((((((more hugs)))))))

😛

I am just teasing Kenny. You know I love you. 🙂

And for Godsake temple ... let the boy have some fun.

If anyone needs a good dose of fun, I think our dear Atom maybe the boy.

Go on vacation and have some fun Atom. If anyone has earned it, I think you have.

TOJ, Very good advice. Putting thinking cap on. And, just so you know, I'm not a drinker. And KNOW when I'm trying to mask something with something else. It's fun for me to find out what everyone else likes and then try some, VERY little. (I got REAL sick when I was a kid---drinking too much rum at one setting---it cured me real strong of ever having more than one drink at any given time).

Try taking up something you have been interrested in a for a while but is in the "when I get around to it category". Something you don't have to dump TOO much money into so it isn't prohibitive to do it every couple of weeks or when you have free time if you get hooked on it.

I don't know exactly what all you are into, obviously music and theater but I am thinking something that gets you out of the house, or if you have your own house and were thinking of doing some stuff to it like putting in a garden or repainting or redecorating then that would be good. Something that takes either some planning and consideration or skillfully challenging so that you get satisfaction out of watching yourself progress.

What will happen is your objective of completing the project or learning how to do something your intrested in will turn into a priority, you will want to do it enough that it is more rewarding than hanging out with Libra girl.

If your can't think of anything off hand try a couple of things out like:

Go to a shooting range, rent a gun, get some basic instruction and see if you walk away feeling like you really want to do it again.

You already play piano....pick up an inexpensive accoustic guitar and try it out.

Hawaii is awesome and all, but if you still have strong feelings for her and are anything like me, you'll find yourself wishing she had come along more than letting go and enjoying all of it.

Good points, nic'! (I KNEW you'd come through). The thing that has been crossing my mind is to learn FIVE piano pieces I REALLY want to play and know before I die---stuff like really difficult Liszt or a Chopin etude or nocturne or even some obscure piece no one has heard---and get them to concert level so I can play them anytime WELL by memory---I think that'd be a blast. And you have very good point that I may be thinking of Libra Girl the whole time in Hawaii, but I tend to dive in to that whole culture and keep really busy when I'm over there. The outdoors idea is good two. I'll work on it . . .

Just have fun and live in your passions Atom. However you define them.

"Live in your passions." Another mantra for me! Thanks, LS!

🙂

((((Atom))))

My advice— here goes!!!! *giggles*

Drink up and shag as many sexy women as you can!!! That'll make you forget her.....hehehehe

Getting away from her physically -- great idea. You have her vibes all over you, and have created an energetic pattern of being rejected which is now sitting in your aura.

So I don't agree with Chatz advice -- shag women on the rebound -- you'll never enjoy it because you're doing it as a *reaction*, not coming from a genuine place of pleasure or goodness in yourself.

You Aries love to chase women -- but can you live with *having* one? What would that be like? If you can imagine it, it can happen for you...

As QS wisely said, enjoy life, love it and those around you, and life will take its natural course...and send you another.

Not "doing too much with her" not what I mean't you did a lot of things with her is what I mean't, I don't think the alcohol will help with forgetting might drown out some of it temporarily but that's it, Atom you should have had some alcohol with her she seems to be some kind of frigid tight assed type

and she's definitely unconscionable

and something about you man's got sissy written all over it

EG, you think like me. FD, you, er, don't. Chatz, I KNOW what you meant---always watching out for my best interests! 'Would have been my solution a few years ago!

(beating the crap outta FD because I feel like it).

FD, you are a very bitter person. Have you thought about seeing someone about that? You should never let what someone do to you turn you into a bitter person (Libra girl).

* EG, you think like me. FD, you, er, don't.

hehe!

I've 2 words for you Atom " FORGET HER " You'll see that it isnt that hard if you detach yourself from the person and being busy ,not just work but maybe learn something new like a language , a skill ... something that you like but you dont have time because you spent it on her ! 🙂

Atom she could be hiding something from you a certain somethings that she doesn't wan't you to know about which could explain her frigidity. Queen Scorpio bitter/sweet yup that's life.

No no don't take Nico's advice about guns (if you are a sun in Aries).

"feeling like you wan't to do it again" - whoa! (Nico what's? this more Libra persuation and charm at work? he doesn't need it) I hope you didn't read this just drown yourself in some alcohol. Atom I bet that you have concealed/suppressed your naturally aggressive side (aggressive instincts) when you were with her (something I would never do) a girl I'm with's gonna know that I can be both emo and tempermental and a go getter - I don't believe that these traits would negatively compromise with her personality infact these traits would engender more compliant/complaisant characteristics in a woman instead of someone that has become (in your relationship) too cool, detached and condesending -

Engendering more amiability.

exam, It's TERRIBLY hard for me to forget anyone, but I know what you mean.

FD, I am seriously taking into consideration your last comments, just so you know.

Liszt, kg? He was a LIBRA, the first entertainer to play the piano with his profile to the audience (because he thought he was so handsome). Before that time a pianist would always play with his back to the audience. He is considered the most difficult composer to play---always exceeding what had been accomplished before. Being the Elvis of his time, women would throw their panties to him on stage while he was performing. In recognition of their admiration, he would throw his old cigar butts back to them----I imagine each butt a collector's item. (I'm sure you can see the inuendo here). Being Libra, his music seems to go to extremes but have an over-all balanced feeling----yes, I take the scales into consideration when playing.

When I was a kid I was told I'd never be able to play Liszt. Being an Aries boy, no wonder I have incentive for the challenge. Now people can't figure out HOW I'm able to play him!

And, dear cagey girl, had a shot of Scotch last night. It's been a few YEARS since I even had hard liquor, except for a water-downed margarita! Ballentine's Scotch. It was a great night cap. Good suggestion, sweety!

Atom,

As you gave me a nice compliment 🙂 I'm going to share more....in a few years, or maybe even in a few months, you won't even be thinking about this Libra girl. Because you will have put the hard work in, you will evolve, and attract someone even better.

In my experience, Sagi girls are a very good match for Aries. My Saggie daughter, who is all of 5, is hopelessly in love with an Aries 6-year-old, and says she's going to marry him.

Because life really does get better and better. I know it does...but only if you work and keep being the best pianist/person/friend ever! And I know that you, as an Aries, can do that.

She speaks the truth....there is life after a Libra (as charming as they are).

Gotta love the song by Small Mercies "Sorry" coz I so think that's a Libran song!!!

kg, Thank you.