sincere or coniving?

upon meeting my libra we instantly became aware that we were mirrors of each other. we had the same ideals, values, morals... etc. we could talk for hours and hours easilly. the first time we ever really had a legitimate conversation, we sat in my living room and talked for 6 hours alone. over time, we developed a very close but strained friendship that borderlined co-dependency. we both knew that we had feelings for each other, but because we've both been burned by love in the past and because we didn't want to ruin our friendship, we never acknowledged nor talked about our feelings for each other. it was always felt, but never acted upon.

as months passed, he began pushing me away in strange ways, lashing out on me for different reasons he most likely invents in his mind. we've gone through periods of no contact (because the pain and confusion causes me to completely cut off all ties), but eventually, he apologizes and we continue being friends. the longest time we've ever stopped talking was about 3-4 months. however, each time we begin talking again, more and more truth about how we really feel about each other surfaces. (cont'd in next thread)

after getting into a huge fight in the summer, i made a promise to myself to X him out of my life because of the significant amount of grief he's put me through. he can also be somewhat vindictive, so i question his intentions sometimes. about a month ago he confessed to a friend of mine that he's always been in love with me but never acted on it because he thought he wasn't worthy of me/my love. after 3 days of wondering what i should do, i wrote him a letter telling him that i also loved him, but because of the things he's done, i could not allow myself to talk to him ever again. i told him that maybe in a couple of years, after we've both matured, we could speak to each other again, but for now, i had to focus on myself. i told him that if he cared about me he'd respect my wish for him to not contact me anymore.

since then, he has not contacted me. however, he contacts a friend of mine and tells her to tell me random things, as if we're still friends. for example, he'll say something like "tell her this because it'll make her smile..." blahblahblah. mind you, he does not usually talk to this friend of mine on a regular basis.

my question is, him being a libra, what does this behavior mean? do you think that his intentions are sincere, or do you think that he just wants make my life a living hell?

also, what would you do if you were in my situation? now that everything is layed out on the table, knowing that he "supposedly" loves me, would would you talk to him again, or just let it go? keep in mind he moved so now he lives hours away.

NO, i wouldnt take him back, slow dance. What did he do to you? If you want him back
sounds like you can have him but what changed? did he prove he wont do it again?
unless thats all been hashed out and worked out and forgiven etc., i wouldnt do it.
you have moved on. you know how difficult that was. that must have been hard. you sound like a very nice and
mellow and thoughtful person. you dont sound mean or judgemental or demanding or bitter or
anything negative. you sound like a very decent person in everyway. id hate to see
someone mess that up.
why was he mean to you? i dont want to pry but can you say what he did specifically?
like cheating? certain things would be very hard, for me, to get over. one other thing,
im going on too much, do you love him? i cant tell by your post if you do. thats missing and has me kind of confused. id have to really be crazy about them to go back.

you're absolutely right, hothouselilies. he has not proven to me that things will change in any way. i believe that with time and maturity (we're only in our early 20s), maybe he will change, but not for a couple of years. i wouldn't say that he cheated because we were never together (we were always "just friends"), but the main thing that made me cut him off was the fact that he's very paranoid. because of this he'll lash out on me or accuse me of things that i don't do. he'd just be really nasty and vindictive to me for reasons he would invent in his head. he's a little nuts, this one. i'm hoping not all libras are like this.. lol

and yes, i do love him. i love him so much, and it's killing me that we're not talking. there's not a day that goes by that i don't think of him. he's always on my mind. that's why this is so hard.

DAMN!

DID YOU READ ANYTHING BEFORE YOU POSTED THAT? HE DIDNT CHEAT. WHERE DID IT SAY THAT?

MAYBE IM WRONG; LET ME GO BACK AND RE=READ THIS SHIT AGIAN. NOPE, READ IT AGAIN.

I DO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE OFFERING UP ADVICE. ITS JUST WRONG. YOU DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS SAID OR YOU DIDNT READ IT RIGHT OR YOU JUST ARENT ABLE TO LOOK AT THE TRUTH. THERE ARE FACTS THAT GIVE YOU THE ABILITY TO MAKE A DECISION CORRECTLY. TRY USING IT. READ EVERYTHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

IS HE "PARANOID"? IF SO, THAT IS THE REASON FOR THE THINGS
HES DOING. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ASTROLOGY. MANY PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT PROBLEMS
INVOLVING MENTAL HEALTH. IF YOU LOVE HIM, I WOULD TALK TO SOMEONE THAT HAS EXPERIENCE
WITH THE PROBLEM.

very shoddy advice given on a continual basis. this place should be shut down!

its all crap!

SHODDY SHODDY SHODDY!!!!!!!1

I think you shouuld continue to "move on'. I dont think the way you talk about him
shows love. When someone says "this one is a little bit nuts" and then laugh about it shows to me that you are either confused about what love is or you have a personality
problem yourself. i would call you a two faced backstabber. I always wonder what the whole story is. What is his side of the story. Ive gotten enough information to make a decision even without his side of this story. You have changed my mind about you as a person but not about the
my answer. the answer is NO. let it go.

moderator/snoopers

cant you put a spell check option on this dump of a messageboard? i dont have all day to proof

read my stuff. is it too much trouble or dont you know how?

LMAO nov_scorp... Agreed. LOL and I'm the one with personality disorder. Riiiiiiiight. 😉

I love this "ignore user" feature. ;D

Hid my last post only because this thread is so close to another I just posted on I got the two confused. Sorry about that.


Slowdance:
The Libras I know to are kind of untrusting - you have to really earn their trust. But what you're describing sounds a little extreme. He sounds like he has some personal issues he needs to work out, you can't fix them for him. If you've never given him a reason not to trust you, yet he still doesn't - that's his problem, NOT YOURS.

Contrary to what a certain unstable person on this thread had to say: I think you sound very mature and level-headed. So I think you already know what the right thing to do is...you're doing just fine.
But. If I were you...I wouldn't talk to him other than on a strictly friends basis anymore until he decides what he wants. You're just setting yourself up to get hurt if you play into his little games. I'm glad you wrote him the letter like you did. You let him know how you felt, how he made you feel, and what the conditions were in order for you to talk to him anymore.

Just follow your heart...in the end you will anyways regardless of what other people have to say. But just remember if he caused you this much heartache before you even dated and got really serious: it will only complicate and worsen things if you get really involved. He needs to work out his problems first...or you will be stuck in a very unhealthy relationship I feel.

Yeah, libra men are insucre and most are a waste of time. I'm lucky because we ended on a good note and I did some things to make that possable. He was nice enough to not have tried and connected me since that and that was last year on the 6th of dec. So once you get rid of the contact you forget and everyone can move on. That can be hard to get from a libra but I knew how to get him to go away, in a nice way. Sags are great at slipping out of things without looking bad or like we cared😉 What is your sign?

Lol. You're a haterrr. 😛

Oh no way! I like one libra haha

Haha. A relative?

Ha actually yes!

🙂

It's okay. I hate on geminis. But really it's not their problem: they're just being them. It's really my problem I'd like to slam most of their faces into something just because they said hi to me. 🙂

I like my gem cousin...I guess. I'm used to him now, that's all.

thanks for your sincere replies, sag & brian. to answer your question, I am a true Leo. It's my sun, merc, venus, and mars sign. & lol sag! yess, fire signs have a way of making it seem like nothing phases us, even if in reality it does. Thanks again for your advice!

Hmm gems eh? I get along really well with those. But ya they are those two faces for a reason cause sometimes, damn!! Yeah, It's different with fam.