What is the difference btwn a friend and a lover?

am sure most libras get confused on this regard every now and then. The one we happen to love(or we think we love), eventually end up misunderstanding us and going away from us. Those who happen to be our non lovers end up staying for ever. Now that confuses me if I have confused a potential lover as a friend and a potential friend as a lover.

any thoughts on this? 🙂

You are not the first libra male I have heard say this. I have actually been in a situation with two I can think of who got confused about the two. One who was my friend, kept his distance for awhile, because he said he didn't want to get confused about what we were, which baffled the hell out of me. But, I was like "okay, whatever rocks your boat". He eventually got balanced and we still keep in touch some what till this day. Funny...

both can be basically the same due to an intertwined connectedness between the words 'lover' is more intimate.

Several libras I have known have had un-defined relationships where them and the other person involved acted as lovers but there was no declaration of being anything other than friends. I think there are several reasons for it. I think that one is that Libras tend to validate their persona through the responses and feedback of others in confusing times of their lives. This translates into crossing the line of friends to lovers and in the end using the compliment and praise as momentum to work through that unbalanced feeling regarding relationships. A kind of going outside to understand what is within.

Another is that Libras like the game of courtship and so sometimes with close friends that kind of energy consumes both in the friendship and they end up being lovers without being exactly sure of how they both got there. Not intending to but on the other hand not really taking any of the necissary steps to ensure that it did not happen.

Either way we are very progressive when it comes to relationships in general. I don't know any Libra that thinks or feels a relationship has to be conducted a specific way without room for deviation. Instead we seem to keep our mind open to all possibilities when single. We don't feel like we are crossing a line when we end up sleeping with our best friend and also don't understand a lot of the criticism or judgement that comes along with it. A worthy partner is a worthy partner regardless of tradition, cultueral norm or anything along those lines.

what constitutes single, Nic? Anything up to marriage or only up to casual dating?
Would you say thaqt you are keeping your mind open to all possibilities even though you have a live-in girlfriend?

Probably the same thing that constitutes as single to you. I didn't state or imply that I was. Nor did I imply I was seeing or am open to seeing anyone other than my live in girlfriend. So....seeing as how that was all in black in white in the post you responded too and my answering your reply is kind of redundant.....So


Do you have a problem? and if you do are you going to come out and say it like a big girl, or are you going to continue to be passive agressive?

wow, someone went on the quick defensive.

i have no problem. i asked a simple question based on statements and pure curiosity.

"Instead we seem to keep our mind open to all possibilities when single."

My question was based on your statement above...

Wow.

Okay... I think there was a little misunderstanding between you two... Nic/HP. HP I think Nic was just generalizing how libra men see relationships in his opinion. Nic, I think initially HP just wanted to know what "being single" was in your opinion and used your particular situation as an example.

Now - Group hug dammit!!!

Funny re. the original question.

I watched a movie where 2 friends have a fantastic friendship and don't get together in the end. Libran had told me to watch the movie, so after watching it I texted him to ask why they didn't get together in the end. Libran and I have never even kissed, but he knows I'm interested. His reply?

"Because men and women can be great friends, even soul mates, without being lovers. In fact, sometimes it's even more special".

Agggh. It did my head in, but now I see it's probably slightly common for the Libran.

and I wanna add that chances are he and I will be friends forever, but given our mutual success in relationships, it may not have lasted... I am happy to be his friend. Just want one measly kiss 😉

tie him down, jump on him and kiss him like you've never kissed before and run coz it might be the first and last but Im sure VERY memorable LMAO!!!

gem 16, it is very true what he said. He may be afriad that what you have now as friends might be ruined in a relationships. No other other sign I know can love on so many levels as the Libra. They can love a fiend even deeper than a lover, just without the sex and sexual emotions. There are emotions, caring and a lot of giving of themselves to their dear friends (Believe me I know). This is what makes us (the friend) want all of them because the friendship is so perfect. However, Librans know if a person is a good mate for them or not and seldom do they let their emotions and feelings get in the way of that belief and try to have a relationship anyway. However, in some instances, they do, with certain people. They might not know deep down inside if it is "their perfect mate" but because there is so much they like and admire about the person they try it anyway and most times become unbalanced because of it. Which confuses us more.

They are genuinely good and just people at heart and can love beyond measure on so many levels.

"Because men and women can be great friends, even soul mates, without being lovers. In fact, sometimes it's even more special".

Well put.

* I don't know any Libra that thinks or feels a relationship has to be conducted a specific way without room for deviation. Instead we seem to keep our mind open to all possibilities when single. We don't feel like we are crossing a line when we end up sleeping with our best friend and also don't understand a lot of the criticism or judgement that comes along with it. A worthy partner is a worthy partner regardless of tradition, cultueral norm or anything along those lines.

Pretty much Nic.

I think Libras LOVE thier friends. So crossing the lines into lovers isn't that big a deal. Falling in Love and COMMITTING to that person is a WHOLE other bag of oats. I think this is why libra is considered a promiscious sign. We are affectionate and part of that is a sexual giving as oppose to a sexual withholding.

I use the term lover for someone I have or am shagging. As a relationship becomes more emotionally intimate and committed (and the person steps up to the line in the way I need) I will start using the term "partner".

HP

Although I am seeing someone exclusively, I still somewhat consider myself single because we haven't figured out the level of commitment are we going to live together at some point, get married, any of it. Once we cross that road into long term commitment, I will consider him partner and officially no longer be single. That does NOT mean that I am actively looking for someone else. It means I am on hold and seeing where it goes. We have only been dating for three and a half months. It will change with time into something more permanent.

"I think Libras LOVE thier friends. So crossing the lines into lovers isn't that big a deal. Falling in Love and COMMITTING to that person is a WHOLE other bag of oats."

Exactly. Some people take up issues with so easily seperating lovers and partners or relationships as you put it. I have been in this situation before and it is more reasonable/logicall to me than randomly hooking up. You have that physical, emotional and mental rapport that can actually allow you to be lovers physially instead of just FWB. FWB comes across and promiscuous and superficial to me, where as a friend as a lover comes across as completely rational, acceptable and even natural. I think the biggest issue people have in knowing this is it makes our partners concerned that we have so many opposite sex friends and this opinion on the lover situation at the same time. Our partner needs to trust that we are also capable of not only drawing that line but turning it off completely. While we can make love to friends, we can also be friends with someone who has all of the lover characteristics and CHOOSE to never feel that way or desire that from them.

Libras have a serious concept of personal choice, we choose our lovers, we choose our partners and we choose who we want to be with in love or any other way. While we do like and cherish the "unspoken magic" between two people, in the end nothing ever "jut happens" we either choose it to or we don't and there are a lot of people out there that have a belief that those things just happen and are uncontrollable. Especially attraction and love. Simply not the case for us, everything is controllable and a matter of choice.

"Once we cross that road into long term commitment, I will consider him partner and officially no longer be single. That does NOT mean that I am actively looking for someone else."

Perfectly stated. We can be exclusive to someone and still be single. If we are still on our own program, a partnership and future speculation has not been established than one is still single. They are still independantly living their life. Once they move in with someone, talk about marriage or start intertwining their future they are no longer single they have a "partner" and that is the best word for it. The only difference witha Libra between a lover and a partner is that the partner is in the long term picture. Someone we can see as being a partner in our life.

***Our partner needs to trust that we are also capable of not only drawing that line but turning it off completely. While we can make love to friends, we can also be friends with someone who has all of the lover characteristics and CHOOSE to never feel that way or desire that from them.***

Scary a libra friend of mine said the exact words when we were talking about relationships in general -scary...
***While we do like and cherish the "unspoken magic" between two people, in the end nothing ever "jut happens" we either choose it to or we don't and there are a lot of people out there that have a belief that those things just happen and are uncontrollable. Especially attraction and love. Simply not the case for us, everything is controllable and a matter of choice. ***

Oh my God, and this statement as well!!!. Hey are you sure you are nicodemus—

I just have to ditto so much of what QueenScorpio said:

"No other other sign I know can love on so many levels as the Libra. They can love a fiend even deeper than a lover, just without the sex and sexual emotions. There are emotions, caring and a lot of giving of themselves to their dear friends (Believe me I know). This is what makes us (the friend) want all of them because the friendship is so perfect."

He truly loves me, I can see that. We know each other so well. Therefore I thought " a relationship is a great idea" while he thought "why change what works?"

" However, Librans know if a person is a good mate for them or not and seldom do they let their emotions and feelings get in the way of that belief and try to have a relationship anyway."

Actually, I would run with it if I had emotions and feelings for someone, where he tells me he wouldn't, so that makes sense.