Bein' A Lazy Bum

Just put together this big deal with a school district in our city. I play piano AND work at a piano store and set up this program where we are now tuning 152 pianos in this one school district. Yeah, I''ve got the piano tuners all up in arms, the President of the company giddy as can be and I get a piece of the pie every time they need to buy a piano. So now I feel like being lazy---cuz I worked so hard getting this all together.

I had ONE piano student last December, now THIRTY-FIVE without any advertising whatsoever---I'm either good or cheap.

And selling more houses in a Market that's "dead." Whew.

Meanwhile, I play cold-shoulder w/ Libra Girl THEN she calls THEN we get together and it's the exact same thing as about 2 years ago for 2 years.

(to be continued)

Yeah. Two years. Queen of the charmers. I'm smitten by the kitten and it's tough to escape. We catch up all the time on the other things going on in our lives. That's one reason I think we even have a relationship. She shows NO interest in other guys and calls me but doesn't want romance / passion. What's up with that? Anyway, it's cooled me off other women as you can imagine.

So part of my blase attitude is "let 'em come," the women that is. Just to see what will happen.

Maybe she doesnt like men in that way— hehehe!!!

2 years is a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time Atom.....Im with Wysdum...you have the patience of a saint indeed!!!

Chatz, Good to hear from you! I'm diving back into the Atlantic if you're still around!

Hope you don't mind me asking, but how do you know she doesn't have any interest in other guys? As a woman, I have to say, she's using you or your friendship if your friendship entails you helping her in any way. She probably knows how you feel about her (we always do 😉 and will take advantage until you get a tailbone and a real lady who appreciates you. Then and only then, will she want you. And don't you dare dump the girl you was there for you for the idiot who had her chance.

"And don't you dare dump the girl WHO was there for you for the idiot who had her chance."

agreed

* She shows NO interest in other guys and calls me but doesn't want romance / passion. What's up with that?

Atom. It is called friendship. She knows you are interested in her romantically, to protect your feelings she isn't going to say, "I met this guy Bob. We went to dinner, yadda, yadda."

A lot of male friends are confused now that I am in a relationship with someone, even though I told them flat-out I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with them. Some have even ended the friendship ... which is fine ... it proves to me they weren't genuinely interested in me as a friend and only wanted to know me in the hopes of getting laid, which proves my instinct to say no to romance with them was right.

Becareful, you aren't misleading yourself here.

everyone has been telling Atom to beware, be cautious, he doesn't listen, he continues to live in a dream world hoping and wishing for more all anyone can do is listen to him, support him and hope he wakes up and see's it for what it really is.

lol!

Leave it to you KennyG to find a positive spin on this.

🙂

I agree though ... if Atom really wanted a relationship .... he would go find one. This serves something in his life as well.

(sorry for discussing you in third person Atom.)

Angst?

Nothin' like being analyzed, but that's the risk I take making myself vulnerable, right?

LS, there have been LOTS of women in my life who said they wanted to be just friends and it turned out to be more----so maybe some of your male friends have ALSO had that happen in their lives and waited until you were in another relationship and moved on.

LEAVING a woman doesn't necessarily mean they were upset because they didn't get laid; LEAVING may mean they are HONORING your new found relationship and don't want to be in the way OR they are getting the vibe that you haven't really cared as deeply for them as they perceived you communicated.

No. I did care. I am really hurt. I feel manipulated and used by their sudden withdrawal from our friendship. How that is honouring our relationship is beyond me. It makes me believe their frienship wasn't sincere to begin with.

OK Atom....here goes!!! You KNOW we all love you dearly but can see your anguish and your loyalty is astounding but....here goes....*gulp*

You're going to have to confront this woman head on with what's going on with you. You have to explain to her to her face how you feel about her. You will have to stop wrapping HER feelings up in cotton wool so to speak....she's not THAT fragile, trust me!! She may be totally floored with what comes out of your mouth but you will at least have it off your chest, she will not dump you as a friend (trust me there too), and you will either see a relieved look on her face or get the same old "Im not ready for a relationship" answer from her but either way, 2 years is more than enough to have pussy footed around.

I did this to my own Libra mate almost 2 months ago.....I got the "Im not ready for a r/ship" answer.....as hurtful as it is, we were able to move along and we are good friends...we catch up every 3-4 days, we laugh, we talk, etc but we are no longer romantically involved and I am now free within my mind and heart to choose to go out with others as I have been and am thoroughly enjoying my life again rather than worry whether Mr Libra might be upset or not, whether he'll be free over the weekend, yada yada yada...now I get on with my life, he gets on with his and we meet up in the middle and can be just that, good friends. He just wasn't in the right place when I am. Simple. Maybe some day down the road we may both be in the same place and that would be awesome but I know he's got a long road ahead of him emotionally which is sad as I'd really love to help as I know you wish to help your lady friend....sometimes though, we just have to cut those strings and let them find their own way....stop being so available to her, stop rescuing her....

Atom, the only real advice I can give, and you know I dont mean any harm, but do you really want to waste more precious time of your life worrying about somebody who does not see you in the same way as you do her?? Maybe she does, maybe she doesnt...but you have to find out for sure with words...real words, not hidden meanings behind this and that, but real words, real sit down and talk about the issue conversation is needed 😛 Afterall aren't Librans the epitome of communication?? LOL

Love her from a distance for sure if she isn't on the same page as you but I think you have your answer anyway....2 years is a LONG, LONG, LONG time to not be sure—

Just remember though, this isn't about YOU, its about her.....Let her find out what its like to not have you there all of the time, to truly go without, to miss you, she'll realise one day but in the meantime— although you can still be good friends (there's nothing better coz r/ships come and go but real f/ships— are awesome), you need to stop focussing your every thought on her, stop spoiling her.....a simple b/day card and a small gift will suffice ok— send the big one to me!!! LOL

Sorry guys, I am a Leo!!! hehehehehe

Thanks Kenny! You're a doll.

🙂

Atom, baby, LET IT GO.... She isn't interested in you in that way period. Unless you don't mind waiting for her "to see if she ever will be." Funny, I was going to ask the same thing as Chatz, maybe she isn't interested in men? Nah, maybe it is just you - in that way it is. She seems to take you as a good friend. Accept it for what it is or move on. I really hate seeing you tear yourself apart with this.

Thank you. I know all of you are sweet loving women. Wonderful women. Very rare. And, yes, women know a lot more about relationships than men----especially what other women are communicating to men. Pulling away from Libra Girl has been so difficult----face it, there just aren't a lot of great women around, at least that I can find. I'm "better" at looking at things clearer but also smitten still---yow, that's hard. Right, Chatz?

Lately, I've helped her do everything---just like a partner would--with her business, helping her move, just everything. And I always feel like a friend---but as a guy friend or girl friend (you know what I mean, the whole girl friend thing of Chatty Cathy sharing about everything, the whole guy thing of what do you think as a guy). It's really WEIRD because it just seems to go back and forth in conversations like that. And I don't like that feeling for the moment of being "one of the girls." Yuck. So bottom line is I don't even know if she thinks of me as a guy! And I'm tired of that. Eunuchs have no fun. I go home from her place and EVERY TIME I wonder, "NOW what do I do?" In other words it's like a Limbo Relationship where nothing is really going forward. I've had "just friends" before in my life and I don't think I want just friends simply because what happens when someone else comes along? Usually that nice long just friends relationship is terminated. (Women really don't want you with other women).

QS is direct to the point. Chatz has been in the circumstance w/ her Libra so I believe her predictions are true. I'm just one of those "give it your all" guys, ("No duh, Aries.") So I would choose to have NOTHING to do with Libra Girl after this time of leaving her simply because I'd focus my all on someone else. (I think kg picks up on this). Pity to not have the girl in my life. But pity to be hanging out on a clothes line in the rain too. And what gets me is that I'm at a better place in my life than I have EVER been! I'm happy otherwise. I've got plenty of stuff to share. I am hot to trot to share my life. Ironic.

I certainly would go out of my way to meet Chatz----love that Leo spirit and her personality----if I were anywhere need Oz. And she KNOWS I offered to send her a birthday gift. So maybe you nice ladies can send good vibes this way for me to meet Chatz' clone. Or kg's clone. Or. . . you know what I mean.

*"anywhere NEAR Oz."

Anywhere near Oz would mean in the ocean!!! LOL

You're too kind Atom and yep we know how you feel 😢

It is VERY difficult to give those Librans up.....Im in a good place with mine though. Its taken a lot to "walk away" but in the process we are closer than ever if you know what I mean.

Being there for your Libra girl and doing EVERYTHING with and for her is working against you...she doesnt get to miss you, she doesnt get to see what its like to truly be without you.

Sometimes being cruel to be kind has amazing results 😛

Chatz, truly I may need to get out of town. Or overly commit on my schedule to literally have no time for her. I think half of diving into the Atlantic is to let my head go numb from the ice cold sea water.

What I'm running into is this: (and PLEASE know I appreciate your advice): She'll call me with something that has to be done. That's it. So I help her. WHEN I think there' s nothing more to be done, again I get a call. And I help her again. What do you suggest I do— It is terribly hard to say, "No." Hey! Maybe I can pretend to be sick and just not answer ANY calls from ANYONE. (Man, haven't done that in years!). I could just nap all day. (Wow, if it was in the sun it would be a puuurrrrrrrrrfect Leo afternoon).

Thanks, Chatzy, for filling me in.

Atom. Tell her no.

kg, I like your style of handling this. I think I will create some appointments and literally head out of town (I'm not too far from the Canadian border). Get busy doing all that stuff I've delayed. Crap, my heart is aching.

run Atom run lol!

Oh I need me one of these Aries creatures lol!!

Your a good man Atom but I really feel your going to be emotionally bankrupt and unavailable when the real deal shows up, your exercising too much energy in a woman that only see's you as a friend, your going to become resentful and emotionally unavailable when the REAL deal shows up because you just won't have the energy to deal with the next woman. Please step away, notice I said step away...

I'm sure she has guy friends like this all over the place, you know the call Joe he's good at plumbing, call Larry he can fix my car, call Chris he's good in bed, call David he can hook me up with tickets to the game. She seems like she's the type that has a good guy for everything she needs done in life and why jus have one that will do her bidding when she can have 6 or 7, combine them all and she has her Mr.Perfect.

Honey let her go on, if she wants you let her literally FIND you, meaning cut all contact for 6 weeks, change the number and move on okay. This will finally tell you if she wants you or if she's a loser...either way you will KNOW your position in her life...reverse the tables on her and stop being available...your very predictable, If I was a mind manipulator I wouldn't give you what you wanted either if I could read you like a book, people who love mental games find it hard to part with their toy thus she hangs on only to play jus a bit longer...pick up on the game sweety.

I thought Aries men had an air of mystery...hmmmmmm

*sigh*

tiki has it right (as usual).

WHEN I think there' s nothing more to be done, again I get a call. And I help her again."

AND she's taking advantage of you! I hate to see anyone being used like this. Once I realize a guy has deeper feelings for me than I do for him and he's doing a lot of things for me I always make sure to tell him how I feel and will not call him for help or anything if I wasn't interested because that would mean that I would be using him. I could not feel good about myself if I asked someone to do things for me and they were hoping that if they did this or that, I'd like them more. That never happens. And a decent person doesn't lead people they consider to be their 'friends' on. Unless, of course, they benefit from it, which is disgusting to me.

agreed wholeheartedly

Mistery, you sound very mature. That is the way it SHOULD be.

Libra girls like attention...we all have that one or two guys in our life who give us attention, even if we don't see them romantically, we need and love to feel wanted, without someone being too pushy of course. My best friend loved me for 10 years!! I never hooked up with him, the one time he tried to express his feelings to me, it scared me and I wouldn't let him talk! We remained only friends for a long time, but I knew that he loved me..he sent me roses on my birthday, took me out to dinners...he cared about me...and I liked it. I didn't feel I was doing anythign wrong though, because I truly cared about him and was a good friend to him too. But we keep people around, that we do. I am still friends will ALL of my ex's...the ones where I ended the relationship first. We remained friends, and I know to some degree they still had feelings for me for some time after we broke up..I may come off sounding cruel, but it's not like we tell ourselves we're doing it, we just like the attention from someone we know is into us, even if we don't feel the same way back!

Its quite interesting to see all these Librans on here who can remain friends with their exes which perplexes me BIG TIME as recently my Libra ex told me we cannot remain friends, that it will be too hard given that we have been intimate and have a lot of history, that one or the other will get jealous, yada yada when the other found a partner...WTF—

He has since recently tried to stay in touch and said "I have not been with anybody else since you" and "I really am so sorry and regret how I dealt with things"...WTF— I never replied.

Maybe he is just way too unbalanced but I always thought Librans didnt want to lose people in their lives. I have to tell you that all of you on here are very normal LOL

I found a crazy one!!!

Let it go , lovely Chatz! You can't force someone to be your friend and vice versa.🙂

****I would treat her the same back. You are too busy, you have an appointment, you are driving in the other direction and won't be in town at that time. You certainly get what I mean. Not anwsering you phone might be hard, but maybe just 'screen' the calls.****

I recently did this over the holidays to my Libra because talking to him about it only made him give me MORE of what I asked him not to do. Mostly disappear and then reappear only when HE wanted attention or affection.

It was REALLY hard to resist not thinking about him or texting him or calling him but I took time away and just made myself so incredibly busy that I thought of him less and less and when great lengths of time were passing and he still made no attempt to contact me my resentment started to turn to anger and I didn't want to be angry with him but....then in my "frustrated, resentful, angry zone I went out and started flirting with this really handsome guy and when he asked me out for a date the next day I said yes. From the first date he called me the next day and made contact with me nearly every day after that. When I left town for the holidays the new guy called me and texted me every day and even asked to pick me up at the airport. All that time and the only contact I got from my Libra was an email on Christmas. He never even called me NYE or NY Day ! The day my plane arrived the new guy (a Virgo) asked if He could PLEASE take me on a second date if I wasn't too tired from my flight! So, I went out with him and it was an eye opening experience how much I missed being treated so nice. But I kept thinking all during this time "where the F is my real boyfriend? Why doesn't he do these things for me? Why doesn't he concern himself with whether I arrived safely or not, how's my trip, how am I, ...nothing! Then I got a call from him just last nite. (I missed the call because I'd accidentally left my phone behind at a restaurant) but Libra's message was unmistakably sad in his brief statement that he missed me.

I didn't return the call but I will later today. I am going to tell him (as Chatz suggested) face to face how I feel but that we clearly don't have (and haven't had) a relationship...we've had an arrangement and that isn't something he promised me. And that I would rather go back to being friends where I didn't have any expectations from him romantically. He isn't ready and if we're meant to be together in the future...

From the original time you posted this thread ATOM I hope you were able to move on. I know you'll still have that spot in your heart you can't quite silence that longs for her. It takes time. I hope you've been busy because THAT is good therapy when you need to NOT be focusing on something.......or someone! (((((((((hugs for you)))))))))))))))

Chatz...from what I have read and through my own experience with libra males, as I have many libra males as friends...in general, libra males are different in that way. My libra male friends never stay friends with their ex's....once they know something is over, they move on.

Aries men always want what they can't have.

Thanks, TOJ. I will give details one of these days. eaglegirl, EVERYONE always wants what they can't. p.s. I've pretty much got everything I want---most Aries I know have that adeptness.

congratulations templeofjaguar !! I'm very happy for you girl 🙂If I'm not wrong , you're a Scorp ? Hehe , when we move on , we really move on 😛

sakesumo , I'm not so sure about that ....My ex still wants to be friend and even insists on it...
I think in Chatz case , her ex might sense her attachment to him is quite strong while he might not feel that strong for her so he did that to help her move on ...

Very true that he felt stronger about distancing to help her move on but some of that distancing (according to my Libra about his behavior) is being overwhelmed and at the end of a day he is spent/tapped out. I could not conceive that my Libra even said to me one time "I don't even have time for you baby (but you are in my thoughts)I am just too tired to even communicate at the end of the day".

I struggled tremendously with that comment because no matter how busy I am (and I have a schedule that would choke most people) it only takes a few SECONDS out of any busy persons day to reassure the person that they love that they're thinking of them or just that they care. That comment alone eventually made me realize he wasn't in touch with his feelings at all and until he could communicate from other aspects of himself besides from a place that only exists in his head..........he'll always struggle trying to balance things that are not balanced between himself and another person in the real world and not the one he escapes to in his head.

On the up side to that......I envy the fact that Libra's are able to detach and just go on with their live's without too much of the emotional pain of letting go that comes when the relationship ends.

I'm learning to help my heart "think" more logically when it comes to romance in general after ending the romantic relationship with my Libra and going back to just being friends. Just "trying" to keep emotions out of the equation.

Im not really sure that they actually can detach THAT easily....I do believe they suffer in other ways but would we ever know or see it? not on your life!!

yes Exam, what you wrote is very true...he did do that to help me and he said this himself which kinda helped, however, Im still perplexed as to why he writes to me now with regrets....HE is the one who ended it and HE is the one who said we can no longer be friends, yet now HE is trying to tell me he isnt seeing others, that he regrets how he dealt with things, yada yada yada.....I find that very confusing and frustrating and no, I still have not replied to it and won't because I dont know what his intentions are/were with telling me the stuff he did.

Im the one who now can take it or leave it - I would like a friendship but Im not sure he can offer just that to me and there is no way Im going to be lured into what we had before. It would be all or nothing in that department but f/ship? I'd dearly love. Time will tell I guess

Whatever....Im happy with how my life is going now and Im having fun and dating some nice guys who OMG actually take me out!!!....life definitely goes on 🙂 It is very upsetting though, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, that my Libra (ex) is sitting at home doing the same old same old (chatting online every night)...its as though he's stuck somewhere but nobody can reach him - he wont let them in. Sad, sad, sad!!!

TOJ Wrote:
"where the F is my real boyfriend? Why doesn't he do these things for me? Why doesn't he concern himself with whether I arrived safely or not, how's my trip, how am I, ...nothing! Then I got a call from him just last nite. (I missed the call because I'd accidentally left my phone behind at a restaurant) but Libra's message was unmistakably sad in his brief statement that he missed me."

He cannot be what you need him to be period. He isn't available emotionally TOJ, I know it sux, but it is true. He will keep in contact because he does care and may even love you, but he just isn't going to be the man "you need" right now so don't settle. Be with someone who makes you happy, it should never be this hard. Never!

"I could not conceive that my Libra even said to me one time "I don't even have time for you baby (but you are in my thoughts)I am just too tired to even communicate at the end of the day".

If he was truly ready (and I know he initiated getting back together several times) I have a libra friend who did this with his sag ex. Never worked out. He would be the opposite if he was truly ready. They can be like the perfect person when they REALLY want you, even give you your way most times. I know, I had it happen to me a couple times.

Chatz wrote:
"HE is the one who ended it and HE is the one who said we can no longer be friends, yet now HE is trying to tell me he isnt seeing others, that he regrets how he dealt with things, yada yada yada....."

Chatz, don't take this to mean that he regrets that you all aren't together now. He just really knows how much he hurt you and that he is hurt for hurting you and wants you to know. I don't think he is regreting the choice he made, because he clearly knows he isn't in the right place right now to be with you the way you deserve!

Ciao!