Any advice?

1st...you have to unhide your post to get the advice 😜

This is embarrassing to talk about and I’ve talked to people in life but I figure why not ask the strangers of dx 😂

So I want some advice on how to get along with men better. It’s come to my attention that I’m still awkward and it’s needs to be worked on.

I grew up with an emotionally absent father and my brother was an abusive dick so I didn’t exactly grow up with connecting examples or feeling warm towards any.

All my friends have always been women and I’ve had a few male friends here and there but generally just distant acquaintances.

I can fake a good amount but underneath I feel still shy, scared and uncomfortable around them and I wonder if I will ever be able to calm that?

Thanks

I read it. It's not a big deal to ask the advice you posed.

Does it really bother you though? Sometimes we try to fix things that don't really matter. So, that's why I ask... does it really interfere in your day to day life?

I think when you feel comfortable with someone, you just do. Is it really all men?

Who knows you may be naturally avoiding harm on a instinctual level.

Can you talk more about the scared and uncomfortable bit.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Can you talk more about the scared and uncomfortable bit.

Just not use to being open to them

Posted by Ooops

"Fake it until you make it"

Seriously, that's endearing to some guys. It gives a goal; to make you comfortable with them. The whole mystery thing works. Guys like a challenge

I guess that's what I'll have to do. Exposure therapy haha

Posted by Sag898

Posted by Ooops

"Fake it until you make it"

Seriously, that's endearing to some guys. It gives a goal; to make you comfortable with them. The whole mystery thing works. Guys like a challenge

I guess that's what I'll have to do. Exposure therapy haha

click to expand

I toooo, am really awkward and closed off with new people/guys. I really do wish extroversion came easier to me...

lmaoooo, exposure therapy! This much is true. But i also just try to realize everyone has their faults, flaws, their goofs behind closed doors.. Sometimes faking pretentiousness helps too, and just reminding yourself of how you'd rather be a social butterfly, than pariah, and a lot of that anxiety melts away!

I also tell myself whatever i do is the impression i make, i can be my own person and create the image in which i am to be seen. I find a lot of that anxiety comes from fear of not being accepted, so its kind of comforting to kind realize you're both the painter and the painting. 🙂 and that just being yourself will bring on authentic connections only. You don't need the people you cant vibe with anyway.

Hope that makes sense looool

Posted by Silvuh

Posted by Sag898

Posted by Ooops

"Fake it until you make it"

Seriously, that's endearing to some guys. It gives a goal; to make you comfortable with them. The whole mystery thing works. Guys like a challenge

I guess that's what I'll have to do. Exposure therapy haha

I toooo, am really awkward and closed off with new people/guys. I really do wish extroversion came easier to me...

lmaoooo, exposure therapy! This much is true. But i also just try to realize everyone has their faults, flaws, their goofs behind closed doors.. Sometimes faking pretentiousness helps too, and just reminding yourself of how you'd rather be a social butterfly, than pariah, and a lot of that anxiety melts away!

I also tell myself whatever i do is the impression i make, i can be my own person and create the image in which i am to be seen. I find a lot of that anxiety comes from fear of not being accepted, so its kind of comforting to kind realize you're both the painter and the painting. 🙂 and that just being yourself will bring on authentic connections only. You don't need the people you cant vibe with anyway.

Hope that makes sense looool

click to expand

This was really sweet. Thank you for saying that 🙂

How's your self confidence?

Posted by Ooops

Posted by Sag898

Posted by Ooops

"Fake it until you make it"

Seriously, that's endearing to some guys. It gives a goal; to make you comfortable with them. The whole mystery thing works. Guys like a challenge

I guess that's what I'll have to do. Exposure therapy haha

a good connection takes time. Some guys do the same chit. If someone is genuinely interested in you they will keep at it. You just have to give them something to keep trying for lol.

click to expand

Exactly. I'm so closed off I guess looking for common ground would be one

Posted by frostey91

How's your self confidence?

Around them probably meh lol because of inexperience I guess

Posted by Antiochus

Can elaborate on what you see as potential problems?

Being shy and insecure in some areas aren't really problems by themselves I think. Well, as long as you don't try to overcompensate in some form.

What do you mean by that?

*follows* I need tips too .

Posted by Sag898

Posted by frostey91

How's your self confidence?

Around them probably meh lol because of inexperience I guess

click to expand

That's where it starts. You do have to put yourself out there at some point to overcome said inexperience. It's not bad for a female to show interest first.

Understood.

However, this right here "It’s come to my attention that I’m still awkward and it’s needs to be worked on. "

Is a total LIE.

Posted by tiziani

Naked sociopaths!

There is no way in hell this dude comes to his senses and tell what's going on..

Afterall.. I love this guy.

Just being honest. For some reason, I really don't know..

WHY?!