@Gemitati
11 Years25,000+ Posts
Chemistry unexplained
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownYou never will find an answer for it, that's why they work.
Everyone is compatible with everyone, that's how this world works.
Put me alone with any women for a long time and we both will fall in love, or develop something, while otherwise we would ignore each other.
Your take is primitive. I didn’t meant alone. I meant when choices are plenty and you could be already with someone but SHE is the one who striked you to the point that you can’t think about your current life anymore...
Posted by bumboklattYour a gemini thts just normal
Thinking twice about everything that youve already done and not before you do it
Im being serious btw
Nobody! Gemini or not is waking up thinking...today I will gladly destroy myself by falling for some bypasser...
It had happened to me and never been pre-meditated. I can’t explain. Neither you are apparently.
Posted by Foxy777Posted by GemitatiI am still researching on the chemistry between people which might be the answer to all the rships problems and so far I can’t find any satisfying explanation.
It happens very often that people are settling with those whom they find suitable for the time being and getting into rship and it’s all seem nice and comfortable. They liking being together. They have similar goals and take on life. Routine life is going on. Everybody seems happy. They even get married. Because they are believing that’s what life is supposed to be.
When one day they see someone who is striking them as a lightening out of blue and they are feeling lost. Ground is moving from under their feet and life as they knew it doesn’t exist anymore.
They don’t know if that other person is good for them or disastrous. But mind becomes disfunctional and circuited and nothing they can do to STOP it works. That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist.
I am not talking about anybody cheating or even pursuing that another person BUT mind becomes a mush and everything that had been happy life just a minute ago becomes doesn’t matter!
Remember! Their is NO any kind of rships BUT enormous powerful force that drawing them to this new source of attraction they had not known exist...
I am not asking how to fight it because it’s impossible in most cases. They can move out of state but their mind is poisoned and actions can turn into self destruction ONLY because someone took their breath away...
I don’t expect anyone who had never experience anything like that to participate with inane suggestions like ‘you have to be strong and fight it or overcome or take it easy...’
it’s dumb!
However if you know what I am talking about - what is your story and how it ended?
Some people can live in a passionate-less relationship...some people are more passionate
People without passion just ..well resist and go on living...
click to expand
It has nothing to do with passion. It’s the moment that can happen in life if 55 y/old virgin or woman/men eater who suddenly got hit!
And life as they knew it Dissapeared!
Posted by bumboklattPosted by GemitatiPosted by bumboklattYour a gemini thts just normal
Thinking twice about everything that youve already done and not before you do it
Im being serious btw
Nobody! Gemini or not is waking up thinking...today I will gladly destroy myself by falling for some bypasser...
It had happened to me and never been pre-meditated. I can’t explain. Neither you are apparently.
You dont have to think it or decide it. Like astrology its about your tendencies.
How many super fixed people even remarry? Many dont cause they either stay in unhappy relationship or just never make a move.
Besides women are blind to their actions in the face of logic
click to expand
Chemistry isn’t logical. And it’s not a tendency. It can happen to anyone and everyone.
Question is why! Is there really an energy that we pick up and it matches something in theirs EVEN if them don’t give a shit - we still do!
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by GemitatiYour take is primitive. I didn’t meant alone. I meant when choices are plenty and you could be already with someone but SHE is the one who striked you to the point that you can’t think about your current life anymore...
Primitive takes rule my taste. In other wards, I'm love driven, I don't make "choices".
click to expand
So...your every partner you’ve always had a chemistry off charts with?
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by GemitatiSo...your every partner you’ve always had a chemistry off charts with?
Gemitati, I'm a Cancer, there wasn't "every partner".
click to expand
?
Posted by bumboklattPosted by GemitatiPosted by bumboklattPosted by GemitatiPosted by bumboklattYour a gemini thts just normal
Thinking twice about everything that youve already done and not before you do it
Im being serious btw
Nobody! Gemini or not is waking up thinking...today I will gladly destroy myself by falling for some bypasser...
It had happened to me and never been pre-meditated. I can’t explain. Neither you are apparently.
You dont have to think it or decide it. Like astrology its about your tendencies.
How many super fixed people even remarry? Many dont cause they either stay in unhappy relationship or just never make a move.
Besides women are blind to their actions in the face of logic
Chemistry isn’t logical. And it’s not a tendency. It can happen to anyone and everyone.
Question is why! Is there really an energy that we pick up and it matches something in theirs EVEN if them don’t give a shit - we still do!
Yeah its just attraction. I see girls all the time and think damn i could easily fall in love with them and live with them sometimes obsess over them and not make a single real life move
I thinl its more common in men because we are less emotional and able to see things as they are (not all men)
You are more masculine and i think its just your manly outlook on life conflicting with you being a woman
I used to read lots of books and i noticed Sag and Virgo writers (women) always had a page dedicated to whay could have been just as you are saying now
click to expand
You are talking about different things...
With chemistry that hit - you don’t choose. You don’t think. It hits you right where it hurts! And you don’t get time to realize and think logically. It’s illogical. And men are as much fall prey to it as women...
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by GemitatiPosted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by GemitatiSo...your every partner you’ve always had a chemistry off charts with?
Gemitati, I'm a Cancer, there wasn't "every partner".
?
I don't work like that. I had one good one for 17 years. Next will be my last.
I don't choose, I simply know/feel it when it's the one. It's not a logical thing for me at all.
I would never commit to someone I would not want to be forever for. Hence the Cancer hate.
I also think men should have max 3 women in his life.
click to expand
I see what you saying but chemistry doesn’t mean ‘mutual’ and you might just get striked by someone who wouldn’t be even available to be your next.
And yes, you might want to be forever because she is your type and all 9 yards but it’s impossible...but it doesn’t change the fact of your yearning for her. To the point of nothing else matters...
Posted by Phantom_DangusI think we all have an internal template of what a love partner should be, built on our experiences with our parents and other things in life, and there is a certain swath of humanity that will fall into it in terms of looks, personality, etc. It happens at a certain point in time because conditions are just right at that moment. You could see it as mystical, stars aligning, or just coincidence. Anyway, they walk into your life, and ahhhhhh...
But here's the part you don't want to hear. The initial electric shock fades over time. It turns into something more like friendship and family or it fades into nothing or resentment. It doesn't stay like that forever with anyone. Seeing them every day, getting sick, having a bad day, farting, crying, etc., turns it into a different kind of love.
Sure it turnes I to different kind but love is hopefully still there and that awe factor is helping a lot...to smooth their bad days, to lick their tears off their face, being happy that they fart - otherwise they will suffer from bloating...that kind of love...
It doesn’t fade - it just becoming routine daily love which is the best kind. Because it’s calm during the day when you think of them quietly waiting for the moment when you melting in their hands and falling into cold bed warming it up with your bodies.
It doesn’t have to fade. If chemistry is still there.
Posted by Phantom_DangusPosted by GemitatiPosted by Phantom_DangusI think we all have an internal template of what a love partner should be, built on our experiences with our parents and other things in life, and there is a certain swath of humanity that will fall into it in terms of looks, personality, etc. It happens at a certain point in time because conditions are just right at that moment. You could see it as mystical, stars aligning, or just coincidence. Anyway, they walk into your life, and ahhhhhh...
But here's the part you don't want to hear. The initial electric shock fades over time. It turns into something more like friendship and family or it fades into nothing or resentment. It doesn't stay like that forever with anyone. Seeing them every day, getting sick, having a bad day, farting, crying, etc., turns it into a different kind of love.
Sure it turnes I to different kind but love is hopefully still there and that awe factor is helping a lot...to smooth their bad days, to lick their tears off their face, being happy that they fart - otherwise they will suffer from bloating...that kind of love...
It doesn’t fade - it just becoming routine daily love which is the best kind. Because it’s calm during the day when you think of them quietly waiting for the moment when you melting in their hands and falling into cold bed warming it up with your bodies.
It doesn’t have to fade. If chemistry is still there.
The chemistry can remain, thank the gods, but it's no longer a shock. You can't be shocked by something you know. The intensity level changes. Luckily, we also crave deep knowing of one another, so we can feed that need in longer term relationships.
click to expand
I don’t know how long the shock factor lasts.
I do know though that every time I am feeling that seeing his face after a full year of being together.
I am still wondering why him because I had been swamped by tons of good men right before I’ve seen him. Some are still contacting me. Some got upset and left for good. Those were options. And I could end up with another one. And I probably would had. But I knew that chemistry weren’t enough to settle until I knew there IS!
Still searching for the reason and hoping if I find it - I’ll have an answer to many questions for all! 🙌
I have to add something...
When I saw him it was chemistry.
When we started rships he was everything I HAD NOT expected him to be! He was NOT a dream man I was hoping he would be. Well...on a first date and texting and phone yes. But in person - NO!
However all those NOs didn’t matter because of the chemistry. So this was actually the first time in my life that that happened. 🤷♀️
Posted by GemitatiWhen one day they see someone who is striking them as a lightening out of blue and they are feeling lost. Ground is moving from under their feet and life as they knew it doesn’t exist anymore. They don’t know if that other person is good for them or disastrous. But mind becomes disfunctional and circuited and nothing they can do to STOP it works. That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist. I am not talking about anybody cheating or even pursuing that another person BUT mind becomes a mush and everything that had been happy life just a minute ago becomes doesn’t matter!
However if you know what I am talking about - what is your story and how it ended?
Hey Gemi, the problem you have is that you call it "chemistry". We experience "chemistry" with many people, and most of the time is a warm, pleasant feeling of connection. What you describe is something else (possible a form of mental disorder). Some call it "limerence, infatuation, lovesickness, or romantic love, while others relate it to love addiction. Some have humorously called it affection deficit disorder. Albert Wakin, an expert on limerence and a professor of psychology at Sacred Heart University, defines limerence as a combination of obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction, a state of “compulsory longing for another person.”
"He estimates that five percent of the population struggles with limerence."
Read this article:
Posted by UndinePosted by GemitatiWhen one day they see someone who is striking them as a lightening out of blue and they are feeling lost. Ground is moving from under their feet and life as they knew it doesn’t exist anymore. They don’t know if that other person is good for them or disastrous. But mind becomes disfunctional and circuited and nothing they can do to STOP it works. That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist. I am not talking about anybody cheating or even pursuing that another person BUT mind becomes a mush and everything that had been happy life just a minute ago becomes doesn’t matter!
However if you know what I am talking about - what is your story and how it ended?
Hey Gemi, the problem you have is that you call it "chemistry". We experience "chemistry" with many people, and most of the time is a warm, pleasant feeling of connection. What you describe is something else (possible a form of mental disorder). Some call it "limerence, infatuation, lovesickness, or romantic love, while others relate it to love addiction. Some have humorously called it affection deficit disorder. Albert Wakin, an expert on limerence and a professor of psychology at Sacred Heart University, defines limerence as a combination of obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction, a state of “compulsory longing for another person.”
"He estimates that five percent of the population struggles with limerence."
Read this article:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/limerence_b_1627089
I am not reading the article because I don’t give a shit what professor who is probably an impotent who does all is writing nonsense of the things he had never personally experienced...said to feel important.
I wasn’t looking. I was busy. And if I had some need for warm body I could have 4 permanently or 6 for sex only.
I am not obsessed with an Aries. And chemistry is not what we experience with many people.
Have you ever looked trough stalk of photos and one suddenly burnt your eyes? Why? Why not another one bit this? If you haven’t had that experience - you might never understand what I am talking about and it’s ok. Not everybody having it. That’s why a lot of you won’t know what I am saying. That’s why a lot of you just settling. To not die alone.
Posted by GemitatiPosted by UndinePosted by GemitatiWhen one day they see someone who is striking them as a lightening out of blue and they are feeling lost. Ground is moving from under their feet and life as they knew it doesn’t exist anymore. They don’t know if that other person is good for them or disastrous. But mind becomes disfunctional and circuited and nothing they can do to STOP it works. That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist. I am not talking about anybody cheating or even pursuing that another person BUT mind becomes a mush and everything that had been happy life just a minute ago becomes doesn’t matter!
However if you know what I am talking about - what is your story and how it ended?
Hey Gemi, the problem you have is that you call it "chemistry". We experience "chemistry" with many people, and most of the time is a warm, pleasant feeling of connection. What you describe is something else (possible a form of mental disorder). Some call it "limerence, infatuation, lovesickness, or romantic love, while others relate it to love addiction. Some have humorously called it affection deficit disorder. Albert Wakin, an expert on limerence and a professor of psychology at Sacred Heart University, defines limerence as a combination of obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction, a state of “compulsory longing for another person.”
"He estimates that five percent of the population struggles with limerence."
Read this article:
I am not reading the article because I don’t give a shit what professor who is probably an impotent who does all is writing nonsense of the things he had never personally experienced...said to feel important.
I wasn’t looking. I was busy. And if I had some need for warm body I could have 4 permanently or 6 for sex only.
I am not obsessed with an Aries. And chemistry is not what we experience with many people.
Have you ever looked trough stalk of photos and one suddenly burnt your eyes? Why? Why not another one bit this? If you haven’t had that experience - you might never understand what I am talking about and it’s ok. Not everybody having it. That’s why a lot of you won’t know what I am saying. That’s why a lot of you just settling. To not die alone.
click to expand
You are contradicting yourself about obsession: "I am not obsessed with an Aries."; "That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist." Your own words.
I know what you are talking about! I could have gone through what I know (and what I don't) with you. If you don't want it, my bad....
Posted by AntiphatesIt's a power struggle.
Not when it’s mutual...
Posted by UndinePosted by GemitatiPosted by UndinePosted by GemitatiWhen one day they see someone who is striking them as a lightening out of blue and they are feeling lost. Ground is moving from under their feet and life as they knew it doesn’t exist anymore. They don’t know if that other person is good for them or disastrous. But mind becomes disfunctional and circuited and nothing they can do to STOP it works. That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist. I am not talking about anybody cheating or even pursuing that another person BUT mind becomes a mush and everything that had been happy life just a minute ago becomes doesn’t matter!
However if you know what I am talking about - what is your story and how it ended?
Hey Gemi, the problem you have is that you call it "chemistry". We experience "chemistry" with many people, and most of the time is a warm, pleasant feeling of connection. What you describe is something else (possible a form of mental disorder). Some call it "limerence, infatuation, lovesickness, or romantic love, while others relate it to love addiction. Some have humorously called it affection deficit disorder. Albert Wakin, an expert on limerence and a professor of psychology at Sacred Heart University, defines limerence as a combination of obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction, a state of “compulsory longing for another person.”
"He estimates that five percent of the population struggles with limerence."
Read this article:
I am not reading the article because I don’t give a shit what professor who is probably an impotent who does all is writing nonsense of the things he had never personally experienced...said to feel important.
I wasn’t looking. I was busy. And if I had some need for warm body I could have 4 permanently or 6 for sex only.
I am not obsessed with an Aries. And chemistry is not what we experience with many people.
Have you ever looked trough stalk of photos and one suddenly burnt your eyes? Why? Why not another one bit this? If you haven’t had that experience - you might never understand what I am talking about and it’s ok. Not everybody having it. That’s why a lot of you won’t know what I am saying. That’s why a lot of you just settling. To not die alone.
You are contradicting yourself about obsession: "I am not obsessed with an Aries."; "That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist." Your own words.
I know what you are talking about! I could have gone through what I know (and what I don't) with you. If you don't want it, my bad....
click to expand
Of course you can go with me...please.
And I am NOT obsessed with an Aries. I am in love with him.
Obsession I was talking about is an initial state of mind when you thinking about them and going crazy! Then it’s becoming quieter. Normal. Still you are adore them. Like no one else matters...
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by GemitatiI see what you saying but chemistry doesn’t mean ‘mutual’ and you might just get striked by someone who wouldn’t be even available to be your next.
We have this build in mechanism to make sure it's always mutual. That's why Cancers are not chasers.
click to expand
False. I have one on standby...lmao
Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTownPosted by GemitatiFalse. I have one on standby...lmao
He is gonna fail, can't chase, hence on standby.
I think I noticed a pattern with women. I'll use you as an example, but trust me, it's all of them, and please don't feel bad:
35+, "not happy" with Cap husband. Trades it for a Scorpio guy for 10 years, who does Scorpio to her. Flings with a Cancer. In love with an Aries. Sleeps with Scorpio while falling for Aries. Anniversary with Aries. Has a Cancer on standby (possibly another one), but would go back to Scorpio if he stop being a Scorpio.
You can't make this shit up. I sincerely believe women should not get married. I don't think men make them happy. I think fucking them and paying bills is what makes them happy after kids. I know I ripped it out of all beauty, but those are cold facts.
If you read these forums, you will realize there is an interesting pattern among Gemini, Sagittarius and Libra women.
click to expand
Bit of adjustment:
35+, "not happy" with Cap husband. Trades it for a Scorpio guy for 10 years, who does Scorpio to her. Flings with a Cancer. In love with an Aries.
Sleeps with Scorpio while falling for Aries.
WRONG! One meeting not pre-planned...
Anniversary with Aries.
That’s IT!
All below is pulled out of an ass or I made a joke.
Has a Cancer on standby (possibly another one), but would go back to Scorpio if he stop being a Scorpio.
I said it but apparently you’ve missed it...Scorpio is no more is my consideration.
Let’s say search stopped after a few months with Aries. I just needed to believe it’s for real...I couldn’t. But I did.
And what’s wrong with sex and bill paying?
So far we are doing it both...or each...but we are doing it.
So where is the tragedy?
Are you a Cap? Boo whoo 😂
I see why you are confused with Cancer. Lol
I said one on standby...it’s the same old one who is checking on me from time to time if I am still taken. It was a joke! He was a big deal but now...not a chance!
Btw you forgot Gemini who is still my bestie. I call him my bf/gf...we always talking and he is the only Gem man I can stand. We born on a same day. But it’s pure and innocent.
So...that’s the story.
And it’s not even matters who and what. The thing is each man I’ve allowed myself to be with were intense chemistry between us. That’s why it seems like never ending story. But it does end. For one reason or another.
The question is - how it starting. Where this is coming from? I don’t even want to count group of rejects. See? 😂
Did this help you understand your situation?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
I am still researching on the chemistry between people which might be the answer to all the rships problems and so far I can’t find any satisfying explanation.
It happens very often that people are settling with those whom they find suitable for the time being and getting into rship and it’s all seem nice and comfortable. They liking being together. They have similar goals and take on life. Routine life is going on. Everybody seems happy. They even get married. Because they are believing that’s what life is supposed to be.
When one day they see someone who is striking them as a lightening out of blue and they are feeling lost. Ground is moving from under their feet and life as they knew it doesn’t exist anymore.
They don’t know if that other person is good for them or disastrous. But mind becomes disfunctional and circuited and nothing they can do to STOP it works. That person becoming their obsession and desire that out of their power to resist.
I am not talking about anybody cheating or even pursuing that another person BUT mind becomes a mush and everything that had been happy life just a minute ago becomes doesn’t matter!
Remember! Their is NO any kind of rships BUT enormous powerful force that drawing them to this new source of attraction they had not known exist...
I am not asking how to fight it because it’s impossible in most cases. They can move out of state but their mind is poisoned and actions can turn into self destruction ONLY because someone took their breath away...
I don’t expect anyone who had never experience anything like that to participate with inane suggestions like ‘you have to be strong and fight it or overcome or take it easy...’
it’s dumb!
However if you know what I am talking about - what is your story and how it ended?