Compliments

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by The_eleventh_sign_11 on Sunday, March 6, 2016 and has 8 replies.

Profile picture of The_eleventh_sign_11
@The_eleventh_sign_11
16 Years5,000+ Posts

they make me writhe in agony, they seem to have an opposite effect on me.

If someone compliments me on the way I look I'll either think "you lying Bitch" "what are you after"? "I don't need you to tell me"

I have a lot of self awareness going on and I'm realistic about what I am and what I'm not.

I think I've come a long way in gracefully accepting compliments with a thankyou although sometimes it's hard to be thankful when I'm not.

Usually when I'm in drag and some someone compliments me I'll agree with that because I know it's true, I just hate smoke being blown up my ads and not in a good way

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
they make me writhe in agony, they seem to have an opposite effect on me.

If someone compliments me on the way I look I'll either think "you lying Bitch" "what are you after"? "I don't need you to tell me"

I have a lot of self awareness going on and I'm realistic about what I am and what I'm not.

I think I've come a long way in gracefully accepting compliments with a thankyou although sometimes it's hard to be thankful when I'm not.

Usually when I'm in drag and some someone compliments me I'll agree with that because I know it's true, I just hate smoke being blown up my ads and not in a good way

What you are in your own opinion-- which has absolutely

nothing to do with the opinion of others.

You offer compliments for the purpose of deception--

that doesn't mean everyone else does.

Profile picture of The_eleventh_sign_11
@The_eleventh_sign_11
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Montgomery
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
they make me writhe in agony, they seem to have an opposite effect on me.

If someone compliments me on the way I look I'll either think "you lying Bitch" "what are you after"? "I don't need you to tell me"

I have a lot of self awareness going on and I'm realistic about what I am and what I'm not.

I think I've come a long way in gracefully accepting compliments with a thankyou although sometimes it's hard to be thankful when I'm not.

Usually when I'm in drag and some someone compliments me I'll agree with that because I know it's true, I just hate smoke being blown up my ads and not in a good way

What you are in your own opinion-- which has absolutely

nothing to do with the opinion of others.

You offer compliments for the purpose of deception--

that doesn't mean everyone else does.

click to expand

If I give a compliment it's genuine and I don't make a big deal about it, if someone inspires me or has a positive impact in my life I'll let them know that I want more by giving them a compliment..

I made new friends and they're straight and they workout a lot and I joined their gym (first time) I naturally have thick muscular legs and I hardly need to do much for them, my friends are the opposite and are top heavy

When we go to the gym they're always giving me compliments about my legs and it makes it awkward because I try and find good things to say about their legs and I can't so I don't other than "I wish I had your legs because I'd look great in a dress" but I'm not going to say that because he revels in his masculinity....the other guy was fishing compliments from me in the car saying why would his girlfriend find a guy like him attractive? And all I could muster up is "you're not ugly" and I could sense he wanted more...

I think it's definitively my moon that lets me see through pretense, I should be grateful that I have new friends who are straight and are supportive of what I do and am, but I'm a stand aloner who doesn't like blowing smoke up everyone's ass, I think my friends are starting to catch on.

Profile picture of The_eleventh_sign_11
@The_eleventh_sign_11
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by cuteboy
very much me. which is one of the reason why i'm petrified to post my picture on these boards or on my avatar. someone may give me a good compliment and i'll be like yeah right, you just saying that to make me feel good and confident. when you talking self awareness, look no further than who's posting this message. i so totally feel you.

Just do it for shits n giggles

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

@The_eleventh_sign_11

Then, if I may, it isn't compliments that bother you.

It's manipulation (fishing for compliments) and pretense.

I hate that too.

I compliment... if you look good, or esp if there has been

a change and I notice, I'm telling you.

I don't expect one in return... it makes me question the

authenticity of course.

You don't owe a compliment because you were given

one, and the same goes for a favour... there will always

be a time in the future when you'll be needed and their

generosity/help can be repaid appropriately.

In the meantime, a genuine Thank you! is all that is

required, and that has the amazing effect of shutting down

fishers when they realize they will get no further because

you accepted what they offered at face value (authentic).

🙂

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by ShadowAbsorber
Posted by Montgomery
@The_eleventh_sign_11

Then, if I may, it isn't compliments that bother you.

It's manipulation (fishing for compliments) and pretense.

I hate that too.

I compliment... if you look good, or esp if there has been

a change and I notice, I'm telling you.

I don't expect one in return... it makes me question the

authenticity of course.

You don't owe a compliment because you were given

one, and the same goes for a favour... there will always

be a time in the future when you'll be needed and their

generosity/help can be repaid appropriately.

In the meantime, a genuine Thank you! is all that is

required, and that has the amazing effect of shutting down

fishers when they realize they will get no further because

you accepted what they offered at face value (authentic).

🙂

this verse and insightfulness reminds me of Tachibana 😛

click to expand

I had to search that ... if I begin to lapse into Japanese,

then you may worry.

Profile picture of JURR
@JURR
10 Years

Compliments make me feel awkward so often I seem ungrateful and in that moment I just wish the person hadn't said anything... but after I appreciate it very much. However, I can see right through a fake compliment, and then I am really not grateful.

I rarely give compliments, only when I really mean it.

Profile picture of RumiL
@RumiL
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Its your moon.

Yeah. Initially, it would make me uneasy for some reason. I wouldn't like compliments. Not because i would think its manipulation...its just that I dont believe and even if I see truth in it, I'm not really comfortable. As I grew up.. I started being indifferent...but it still makes me uneasy TBH.