Courting Someone for friendship

Has anyone heard of this new little trend?

I was readying in I believe the Huffington post; of a guy that did this with a female. It was no romantic attraction; it was genuine want for friendship. Through courting faze; he would do little things like get her coffee; buy her get well cards and so on.

Then one day he bought her a card asking her to be his friend; in the card he explained why he thought the would have a good friendship relationship.

In the article the writer states; that this sort of courtship is good; is encouraged and should be done by more individuals. By the way; the writer was the one courting he's best friend of now ten years.

Do you agree with him? Would this be something you would do? If so l, why?

Would you find it funny if someone was to ask you to be their friend and why?

I did this with my ex aries bff. I met her, felt her out, and finally asked her to be my best friend.

I coild see a venus in cap doing this. Ex aries is a cap rising.

Posted by DMV
I did this with my ex aries bff. I met her, felt her out, and finally asked her to be my best friend.

Do you feel there was lessons to be learned? Did you have any sexual attraction towards her before you asked her to be you friend; or was the connection more of a sister and brother kind of connection?

Nope, no sexual connection. Purely friendship. Cant say I learned any lessons.

That's pretty cool_—.

I personally wouldn't mind Courting someone for friendship. I might have done it without ever realize it.

In the article the guy said; that any people put a lot of focus on romantic relationships; but not enough on friendships. Forgetting that friendships also require a level of commitment as well. Also that more people should develop this kind of relationship more often, and treat it with respect.

Just like a romantic relationship; friendships also go through a break up period.

I think the author has saturn in the 7th on some level. I look at all my relationships like a business relationship. There has to be synergies, gains for the both of us, a contract of sorts.

As with a job, its tough to know all the strength n weaknesses of a candidate. That may take months or years to know.

i did think of lesson, references. I would have asked for 3 personal references. Boyfriends, parents, n friends.

Posted by DMV
I think the author has saturn in the 7th on some level. I look at all my relationships like a business relationship. There has to be synergies, gains for the both of us, a contract of sorts.

As with a job, its tough to know all the strength n weaknesses of a candidate. That may take months or years to know.

i did think of lesson, references. I would have asked for 3 personal references. Boyfriends, parents, n friends.

It's weird you said that; because he said the same thing. In a lot of friends you have gains, and losses. His friend is an editor, so maybe their friendship also had to be work related. Or the reason of it's birth.

Would you consider doing it again? Have you done it?

Yes, I would court another friend if I felt strongly about it. I kinda have my eye o this aqua girl and I really like her but she has a few character flaws I dont like. Im sure I have mine but the question is, will the flaws overpower the gains.

Posted by Impulsv
I value my freindship I felt this about someone n my love was more than romantic. It's hard to explain but yes I see why that can happen. Right now the freindship is on break n maybe it's needed as so the romantic notions fall away. I think maybe caring for someone makes u confused as the only we have been trained to feel love is on a romantic level. But this person is like my best Freind, soul brother, soul lover , I genuinely wish him the best with another. Mo Ent I saw him knew he must be part of my life n a great life Freind is as valuable as a life lover.

I felt this way with my Cancer friend. It was so strong that I felt the way to go about it was romantic. Which was so crazy. We are still friends; I've let go of the romantic notions, accepting that our union is friendship and it's the right fit. We go on breaks only cause it's I believe our personalities. Both of us need space; then once we have had it, we seek each other out. And pick up where we left off.

I understand what you mean about connections 100% .

Posted by DMV
Yes, I would court another friend if I felt strongly about it. I kinda have my eye o this aqua girl and I really like her but she has a few character flaws I dont like. Im sure I have mine but the question is, will the flaws overpower the gains.

I have my eye on another as well; but this one causes me to be really timid. So I'm just allowing things to take it's course. We will see how it turns out.

Posted by CluelessCancer
I love the idea of this, but great friendships are so rare, people always let you down.

That is true; I'm in a place where friendship relationships is what I want as of now. Romance right now isn't a want, or in my agenda.

But like any relationship one has to put trust in it, and like you said, that is the hard part, cause of the let downs and disappointments.

Do you feel in order to court you need to know this person face to face?

What would be the difference between online friendship courting and Person to Person friendship courting?

Moon and mer in scorp demamds face to face

I'll eventually want it face to face. Like; I have to speak, face time, then meet....it can't remain cyber.

If it begins in cyber I don't mind. As long as the above happens.

Posted by Sagittarius2315
I'll eventually want it face to face. Like; I have to speak, face time, then meet....it can't remain cyber.

If it begins in cyber I don't mind. As long as the above happens.

fascinating. Cyber doesnt do nething 4 me. Im almost turned off by it

Posted by DMV

Posted by Sagittarius2315
I'll eventually want it face to face. Like; I have to speak, face time, then meet....it can't remain cyber.

If it begins in cyber I don't mind. As long as the above happens.

fascinating. Cyber doesnt do nething 4 me. Im almost turned off by it

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Even when someone peaks your interest; lets say as good as if they were in person?

I would understand a little why. Some people aren't as they seem to be online. But lets say through messaging exchange you get to know this person pretty well, will the dynamics change? Would you be interested in a face to face meeting ( if you'd already Skype or faced times with this person?).

Posted by size zero superhero
I've done this on several occasions, without sexual attraction as an incentive nor a factor.
"Courting" friends is merely a social skill, more or less. Upon meeting someone who is like-minded, intriguing, exceptional in some aspect or another--if the good vibes are mutual then naturally, the next step is exchanging contact info and later arrange to kick it in the near future.

So far, so good. There was one fairly recent incidence I misjudged someone's character based on positive early impressions & befriended them. Once it became evident that her neediness was draining & she made enemies everywhere she went, I cut her off right quick.

Otherwise, "courting" or being socially proactive toward platonic friendships, could very well be the doorway to a lifelong bond.

+ 1

I believe whether online or face to face, you run the risk of finding out all is not as it seems.

You can very well be deceived knowing this person in real life; just like you could be deceived online.

The article did really stand out to me. Made me wonder; because I'm in a point in my life where my meetings are more platonic and is more friendship. However, I've noticed that with some this seems to be hard cause many can misinterpret because some are use to the approach being romantic especially is you feel this sort of push and pull, yet on your end it is by no means the feeling of romantic attraction.

I think I did this with each one of my female friends. I meet someone and they have a good vibe and I'd like to know them better...I feel like I'm asking them out or something.

Posted by Sagittarius2315

Posted by DMV

Posted by Sagittarius2315
I'll eventually want it face to face. Like; I have to speak, face time, then meet....it can't remain cyber.

If it begins in cyber I don't mind. As long as the above happens.

fascinating. Cyber doesnt do nething 4 me. Im almost turned off by it

Even when someone peaks your interest; lets say as good as if they were in person?

I would understand a little why. Some people aren't as they seem to be online. But lets say through messaging exchange you get to know this person pretty well, will the dynamics change? Would you be interested in a face to face meeting ( if you'd already Skype or faced times with this person?).

click to expand

cant say really. I did meet my ex online 7 years ago, on a sex site lol. I meet him one night, sexed him up, nd got n2 a relationship. Nowadays I cant see myself doing that again. It seems too slow 4 me. Exchange notes, exchange pics, video chat, then f2f idk. I dont have the patience.

Id rather meet u in person so that all my feelers can feel u out. I cant do internet long distance relationship.

Posted by DMV

Posted by Sagittarius2315

Posted by DMV

Posted by Sagittarius2315
I'll eventually want it face to face. Like; I have to speak, face time, then meet....it can't remain cyber.

If it begins in cyber I don't mind. As long as the above happens.

fascinating. Cyber doesnt do nething 4 me. Im almost turned off by it

Even when someone peaks your interest; lets say as good as if they were in person?

I would understand a little why. Some people aren't as they seem to be online. But lets say through messaging exchange you get to know this person pretty well, will the dynamics change? Would you be interested in a face to face meeting ( if you'd already Skype or faced times with this person?).

cant say really. I did meet my ex online 7 years ago, on a sex site lol. I meet him one night, sexed him up, nd got n2 a relationship. Nowadays I cant see myself doing that again. It seems too slow 4 me. Exchange notes, exchange pics, video chat, then f2f idk. I dont have the patience.

Id rather meet u in person so that all my feelers can feel u out. I cant do internet long distance relationship.

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For romantic endeavors cyber is very slow. And long distant relationships, I can't do either, that's just to much for me, that kind of drama isn't my cup of tea.

Slow friendship developments however, wouldn't bother me none.

Posted by Damnata
I think I did this with each one of my female friends. I meet someone and they have a good vibe and I'd like to know them better...I feel like I'm asking them out or something.

Me and my friend whose a Taurus; it's was instant connection. We are both very laid back, we didn't even go through the courting part; we skipped it and went straight to friendship dating...lol.

She's one of my really good female friends; we are very much alike; and have a lot in common.

Posted by Sagittarius2315

Posted by Damnata
I think I did this with each one of my female friends. I meet someone and they have a good vibe and I'd like to know them better...I feel like I'm asking them out or something.

Me and my friend whose a Taurus; it's was instant connection. We are both very laid back, we didn't even go through the courting part; we skipped it and went straight to friendship dating...lol.

She's one of my really good female friends; we are very much alike; and have a lot in common.

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My Aries best friend stalked me in high school 🙂). She would always appear on the hallway out of the blue and engage me. I was really shy back then and she was so excited, it rubbed on me.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Sagittarius2315

Posted by Damnata
I think I did this with each one of my female friends. I meet someone and they have a good vibe and I'd like to know them better...I feel like I'm asking them out or something.

Me and my friend whose a Taurus; it's was instant connection. We are both very laid back, we didn't even go through the courting part; we skipped it and went straight to friendship dating...lol.

She's one of my really good female friends; we are very much alike; and have a lot in common.

My Aries best friend stalked me in high school 🙂). She would always appear on the hallway out of the blue and engage me. I was really shy back then and she was so excited, it rubbed on me.

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Did it freak you out at first?

I think that's sweet...lol.

For me to pursue; it has to be a certain vibe that has to be felt; like sudden ease and comfort with that person, a level of comfortability. If it feels like "catching up with an old friend." then I pursue. Others might do it different, I go with my gut, and then build from there. Ask questions; see where we have common ground and so on.

Rarely do people rub me the wrong way. If they do; I distance myself right away.

Not freaked out, only got me curious. Why was this red haired girl coming for me? What sorcery was she up to? Her humor and warmth left me defenseless off the bat. Still don't know what she found so interesting about me..she was better at pursuing than most men though 🙂)

Posted by Damnata
Not freaked out, only got me curious. Why was this red haired girl coming for me? What sorcery was she up to? Her humor and warmth left me defenseless off the bat. Still don't know what she found so interesting about me..she was better at pursuing than most men though 🙂)

Are the two of you still friends till this day(if you mean ruined forgive me, I tend to have a forgetful mind at times.).

Yup, still friends. I'm happy I met her.

Posted by Damnata
Yup, still friends. I'm happy I met her.

That's cool; it's hard to find friendships, especially with woman to be so fruitful. So to have it, is to hold and appreciate it.

aside from Taurus; my best friend, I actually believe she is my soul mate is my Cousin she's a Virgo and we are like sisters. People use to think we were like a couple(not cause of anything funny.) just our connection.

I'm glad to have both woman in my life. Both keep me grounded, and they same I do the same even though my sun sign is Sag. We compliment each other very well.

Do you have other siblings? And are you as close to them as your friend?

No, I kept demanding siblings when I was small but my parents didn't budge. Wish I had an older brother and a younger sister.

I grew up with boys, played sports so I relate far better to men. I have several good male friendships..and a lot of male acquaintances. With women, I get frustrated easily. I'm not into the type of competition they seek and I'm not the girly girl type of woman..so it's hard to talk about make up and other stuff I'm completely unfamilliar with. And I'm not into shopping as a sport..so we don't have much to bond on. I love the banter I throw with my male friends. The Aries has a Pisces moon..every time we go out she guesses people's signs easily..if not their sun signs then their moon signs. People look at us like lunatics because we talk signs a lot.

Posted by Damnata
No, I kept demanding siblings when I was small but my parents didn't budge. Wish I had an older brother and a younger sister.

I grew up with boys, played sports so I relate far better to men. I have several good male friendships..and a lot of male acquaintances. With women, I get frustrated easily. I'm not into the type of competition they seek and I'm not the girly girl type of woman..so it's hard to talk about make up and other stuff I'm completely unfamilliar with. And I'm not into shopping as a sport..so we don't have much to bond on. I love the banter I throw with my male friends. The Aries has a Pisces moon..every time we go out she guesses people's signs easily..if not their sun signs then their moon signs. People look at us like lunatics because we talk signs a lot.

I'm the same way; the cattiness of woman is annoying for me. Although I have two sisters; I had male friends, I was a tomboy growing up, and personalities wise in both masculine and feminine, the feminine I learned later on as I got in to my teens. Even now I'm still masculine, but I try to keep it soft...lol.

As far as female friends the instant I'm rubbed the wrong way, I don't engage in any conversation with that person, might sound mean, but I for see the headache and decide to avoid it all together. One thing I do wish was that I had brothers, I'm the eldest so I was basically the male figure, at least that's how my mother puts it.

I've yet to find a female friend I can speak signs with. I have a male friend, but not female. Even with my cousin, she doesn't really like it as much, cause she feels it's like telling the future...lol. I explained it to her and still at times she rather not discuss, unless is a guy she likes and she wants to see how compatible they can be. She's open minded, but won't actively seek out information on her own about astrology, she comes to me.

My friends took to astrology like ducks to water. Only my taurus friends remain skeptical and unconvinced. We'll all go out, have a beer and tell stories and get into signs without realizing. We catch ourselves when we hear "again with this nonsense", so we try to talk about it only when they're not around...although we're already seen as lunatics 🙂)

My mother isn't into it at all..which is odd since she's the poster child for Leo..she even has the golden mane to prove it.

Stupidity at its best really

Posted by Sagittarius2315

Do you agree with him? Would this be something you would do? If so l, why?

I think it's a very nice gesture. I don't know if I would do it, because I don't pursue platonic relationships this way. I feel they need to unfold and deepen naturally.

Posted by Sagittarius2315

Would you find it funny if someone was to ask you to be their friend and why?

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I would find it endearing, but I would still be as cautious as I am with everyone. It's just how I am.

I don't see the point. this sounds like a woman thing.
I enjoy natural, rugged friendships

Sounds stupid to me ^.^?

Whatevers, men do it 2. They just dont verbalize it.

I rather like the idea of courting someone based on one particular shared interest, and spend as much time with that person sharing the interest, and be done.

Kind of like a drinking buddy. When your done drinking, you go your separate ways. Or an art buddy, or a go to the movie buddy. Keep it light.

Posted by hydorah
I don't see the point. this sounds like a woman thing.
I enjoy natural, rugged friendships

Actually the writer was a Man and he was talking about how he Courted his best friends of now 10 years for friendship. So man do it as well. He would do little things like get her coffee or have it waiting for her (she is his editor) write get well cards when ever she was sick and so on. After doing such gestures for a while, he wrote her a letter letting her know that he would like to be friends. She accepted.

To me the moral is; just like we treat romantic relationships , go through a courting faze to get to know the person, even do it through friendship; friendship should be treated with the same kind of respect. Just cause it's friendship doesn't mean you can't show your appreciation, do little things here and there. It also doesn't mean that one shouldn't pursue more friendship relationships, then romantic relationships.

This doesn't go for all people, cause naturally friendships do develop. I'm the case of male/female friendships many say, "one has to have some sort of attraction to the other, or have more feelings." the article proves to me that Yes man and woman can have platonic relationships, and neither has to have romantic interest in the other.

This is how I take it; and wonder if others do as well and if they have done it.

Just mi dos sentavos

Courting someone for friendship? That should just come naturally...

Posted by lildol
Courting someone for friendship? That should just come naturally...

Naturally we do it, some of us might not notice it. We go out to the movies, out for dinner or drinks, hang out watch a movie, and so on. If your sick I bring you soup, or medicine, call you make sure your alright. We talk about what we have in common, find out we are both dating...blah, blah, that's sort of the courting faze.
The writer basically gave it a name, and then in the article encourages others to aim for more friendships and do the Courting, show your friends or possible friend with your actions that you appreciate them and respect them as a person and are thankful to have them in your life_??

I can't imagine doing it on purpose. It seems too contrived. I court the friends I already have, though, and anyone else who gets added to the list. My best friend is a Gemini. I've known her since I was 4 and we were next door neighbors. I have another best friend, an Aquarius, who I've known for the same amount of time. Various other friends I've kept from school, etc. When you click with someone or connect you just do and it fits. ~shrugs~

I've met some wonderful people online that I would have never met in real life due to distance. A few I've managed to meet in person, too. 🙂