Does sex get better or boring?

So anyone who's ever been or is currently in a long term relationship or married for a number of years, I've got a question.

I kind of have an irrational fear that people (men especially) get bored after years of sex with the same person. I've heard it only gets better, but can the predictability make it boring perhaps? Makes me nervous my future husband will cheat.

I'm talking couples who have been together 5 years plus. What do you all think?

Posted by JBG

I kind of have an irrational fear that people (men especially) get bored after years of sex with the same person. I've heard it only gets better, but can the predictability make it boring perhaps? Makes me nervous my future husband will cheat.

I have a problem with people saying that only the men will get bored with the sex with the same person for years. We are functioning human beings with our own sexuality. We can get bored too. I mean you have to think about it. If you always have sex in the bed, in the bedroom and no where else. In the same ole missionary position night after night, you would get bored too.

As long as you are in touch with your own sexuality and change it up sometimes you wont have a problem. Being married is the icing on the cake, you have a husband that is essentially your sex slave for life. 😈 you can try anything you want, "within reasonable means" (as my hubby constantly reminds me) to him. So truly enjoy yourself 🙂

oh I've been with my libra for 6 year now. Married for 2 years.

Try Tantric Sex.

It goes both ways. It's better because when you're with someone for a while you become comfortable, inhibitions are almost non-existent & you know exactly what makes the other tick sexually. However it does become boring at times especially if you're with an unimaginative partner who just because they've heard you scream a thousand times when they do abc, then they start to think that they are now some kind of master with very little to improve on. Ha! Plus the other thing is, some men dont appreciate it when a woman introduces new things into the bedroom. They feel like it's their duty or whatever. That's why many couples are stuck doing athritic, boring love scenes, because one may actually have some new ideas but too afraid to introduce them incase they get accused of cheating. Like, "Where did you see that!? You've never done that before". Bla bla bla. So they just stick to what they know. I also believe that's why people always end up cheating. Because they get a strike of genius about something but the other partner is busy being too stone age about things, so the partner that's more sexually progressive ends up experimenting with somebody else. So just make sex fun if you dont want it to be a snooze-fest later on. Start at the beginning of the relationship to teach your dog new tricks 😉

Personally I've never been too bored with sex in any of my long term relationships because I'm playful & that tends to rub off on all my partners. BUT, I draw a line at 3 somes & other freaky nasty things like that.

Thanks for all the feedback. I don't think as is only for men to enjoy, nor do I think that women cannot as well get bored with monotony. However, statistics do show that the percentage of men who cheat is a bit higher than women. & yes I know a relationship is far more than just sex.

& I do believe I'm a bit insecure bc every woman I personally know has been cheated on. Including my mother & grandmothers. So i fear that.

I haven't had a relationship past 2 years, & I could have been with him and only him forever. But not sure he would have been satisfied with me being his only partner for the rest of his life.

I was just wondering if a man married to a woman for years still gets just as excited to be with her now as he did the very first time he had sex with her. That's all. I wasn't trying to leave women out, I just don't date them.

Posted by aime7
Try Tantric Sex.

+1 ^ this is where its at

Hmm sex is great but it just isn't the same if I don't feel like she really wants it...
It's kinda a turn off actually

10 years later and I'm not bored.

Not that it hasn't been before. I just let him know immediately...like wow what are we doing? I'm mad bored right now (lol) then we change that...or just take a rain check.

It's like anything else in life. You're going to have moments.

Just don't fall into a habit of doing things out of obligation or routine. That's when you have a problem.

For me, the sex actually got even better throughout the years. The thing that messed us up was his sister!

Posted by iamwhatiam
For me, the sex actually got even better throughout the years. The thing that messed us up was his sister!

Say what now? He had sex with her too?

first it will get better, then it will reach a plateau and after that it will start to become boring and after a while it will stop to happen.
But if your marriage can't survive that, you shouldn't get married in the first place.

Posted by hydorah
first it will get better, then it will reach a plateau and after that it will start to become boring and after a while it will stop to happen.
But if your marriage can't survive that, you shouldn't get married in the first place.

LOL @ the last part. Really? Not everyone has a crystal ball, you know.

Again, the question isn't whether or not someone will get bored at some point within 50 years of marriage. Of course they will.

The question is, how is each person prepared to troubleshoot or resolve the problem once they hit that fork in the road? Some men haven't even thought about it. Some men know deep down they can't handle it & recognize this being their weakness and a void that must be filled 1 way or another (i.e. through another person until the sex in their relationship gets exciting again). And other men are prepared on what to do b/c they've either crossed that bridge before & came out of it a faithful man in the end, or took in the advice of all their elders advising them on what to do in those situations. The easiest way to find out which applies to your man is to ask all of the right questions BEFORE things get serious. BEFORE marriage is even contemplated.

Ask all the right questions when you get serious with someone & listen very closely to their answers. If they've cheated even once in the past, listen for the real reason why. Plenty of men get bored or resist temptation for years & years b/c they went into the marriage with a set of mental tools for those rainy days. And some men lose the monogamy battle, not b/c they're bad guys but b/c they never had any real practice overcoming that kind of relationship demon (the reason an experienced partner who's been there and done that, is important)

This is why experience is so important. A man that's been in long term relationships has probably encountered this problem. How he solved it will tell you all that you need to know b/c past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior

Trust me, you don't want a man who can't answer the questions or who says things like, "IDK, we'll cross that bridge when we get there." No. Not good enough. That means he's not prepared. That means he doesn't have the experience in dealing with the issue faithfully. Not good

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by hydorah
first it will get better, then it will reach a plateau and after that it will start to become boring and after a while it will stop to happen.
But if your marriage can't survive that, you shouldn't get married in the first place.

LOL @ the last part. Really? Not everyone has a crystal ball, you know.

click to expand

You don't need a crystal ball to understand that your marriage should be stronger than your sex life, just a bit of insight.

Posted by hydorah
first it will get better, then it will reach a plateau and after that it will start to become boring and after a while it will stop to happen.
But if your marriage can't survive that, you shouldn't get married in the first place.

+1000000, except for the last sentence.

It happened to everyone I know, including myself.

Marriage without the intimacy given by sex is like house-sharing with a boring sibling.

You either accept it, without resentment, or GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! You don't do anyone a service by staying.

Posted by krysrenee7

A man that's been in long term relationships has probably encountered this problem. How he solved it will tell you all that you need to know b/c past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior

Errrrr.........he divorced/separated.

I don't think he would be keen to mention whether or not he fucked someone else before that.

Posted by krysrenee7
(..... until the sex in their relationship gets exciting again).

LOL. There is a better chance for a bald man to regrow his hair than that.

And I'm not even being cynical.