Reciprocity8
@Reciprocity8
6 Years
Comments: 149 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 21
Funny Mishaps & Scenarios During Sex
Anal.
Reverse cowgirl.
She and I came.
She hopped off while I was still hard.
Dick slung back and splattered truffle butter in my face.
Reverse cowgirl.
She and I came.
She hopped off while I was still hard.
Dick slung back and splattered truffle butter in my face.
I was dating this Leo guy that looked like a dark-haired Bradley Cooper for a couple of months. One night, I finally decided I was going to "land the deal". We went out for drinks, started getting hot and heavy in the parking lot afterwards...then headed back to his place.
I wanted to blow him so bad. Because he was about as close to Bradley Cooper as I was going to get. Nevermind he was the Best Value version. Anyway, there I am in my black mini-dress, hair straightened(it's naturally curly), and with my heels still on. I was looking fly as hell...and he wanted it BADLY.
I dropped to my knees, raunchy XVideos- style , unzipped his pants, took his pork sword out and went to town. He was in heaven. I was proud of myself.
Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"
My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."
He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.
No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like boiled hotdog water and spoiled milk.
I wanted to blow him so bad. Because he was about as close to Bradley Cooper as I was going to get. Nevermind he was the Best Value version. Anyway, there I am in my black mini-dress, hair straightened(it's naturally curly), and with my heels still on. I was looking fly as hell...and he wanted it BADLY.
I dropped to my knees, raunchy XVideos- style , unzipped his pants, took his pork sword out and went to town. He was in heaven. I was proud of myself.
Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"
My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."
He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.
No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like boiled hotdog water and spoiled milk.
Posted by xXxBitcheroniiiXxXPosted by Reciprocity8
I was dating this Leo guy that looked like a dark-haired Bradley Cooper for a couple of months. One night, I finally decided I was going to "land the deal". We went out for drinks, started getting hot and heavy in the parking lot afterwards...then headed back to his place.
I wanted to blow him so bad. Because he was about as close to Bradley Cooper as I was going to get. Nevermind he was the Best Value version. Anyway, there I am in my black mini-dress, hair straightened(it's naturally curly), and with my heels still on. I was looking fly as hell...and he wanted it BADLY.
I dropped to my knees, raunchy XVideos- style , unzipped his pants, took his pork sword out and went to town. He was in heaven. I was proud of myself.
Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"
My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."
He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.
No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like hotdog water and spoiled milk.
God that's awful.
Dirty dick ass..click to expand
I honestly think it was his diet. I don't think men realize how much that affects their taste.
Take notes, men!
Posted by Reciprocity8
Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"
My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."
He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.
No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like boiled hotdog water and spoiled milk.
Aw and you expected it to taste like Bradley Cooper spunk lol
Posted by enfant_terriblePosted by Reciprocity8
Him: "I'm about to cum, baby...where do you want me to put it—"
My dumb ass: "In my mouth, babe..."
He came in my mouth and as soon as that shit hit my taste buds, I projectile vomited all over his dick and legs. He thought it was the alcohol from earlier.
No, motherfucker, it was your cum that tasted like boiled hotdog water and spoiled milk.
Aw and you expected it to taste like Bradley Cooper spunk lolclick to expand
Maybe it did.
@enfant_terrible Nope. Just regular unspoilt spunk. 😊
Are you offended because he's a Leo? Jeez, man.
Are you offended because he's a Leo? Jeez, man.
Posted by JustBrowsing
A Cancer woman and I were once discovered banging pretty hard during a camping trip at a local State Park by an elderly couple. 😁
Did you finish, though—
Posted by HeartofTopazz
I have a few. This one was from when I was in my early 20s... we were really drunk and he thought he was fingering my tootz, but he was really fingering my beehole. He was really going at it so I started busting up laughing and told him then he said “IDC I love it” and eventually tried to switch holes and use the same finger. I told him to skedaddle.
😂 That happened to me too. Well, kinda. I'd been intimate with someone, but it had only been anal sex. He asks me if I want to go get Plan B afterwards...I'm like, "Please tell me you're not serious. Dude, you know how sex works, right? You DO know you can't get someone pregnant through their ass, right?"
Oy. I swear. I'm like two bad situations away from just becoming a nun or a romantic atheist.
And to make matters worse, the schlep had a fucking condom on.
When I was 17 I hooked up with this dude I had a huge crush on throughout high school.
He had a shower sex fantasy, but his shower was small and there were no supports for any of the sex positions in my repertoire back then.
So I compromised with him and we settled on just a blowjob in the shower. As I was getting into it I felt him start playing with my hair so I opened my eyes (they were closed since water was sporadically dripping on my face) to look up and smile/laugh at him, but I felt this stinging sensation in my eyes as soon as I opened them. Turns out he was shampooing my hair while I was going down on him.
He had a shower sex fantasy, but his shower was small and there were no supports for any of the sex positions in my repertoire back then.
So I compromised with him and we settled on just a blowjob in the shower. As I was getting into it I felt him start playing with my hair so I opened my eyes (they were closed since water was sporadically dripping on my face) to look up and smile/laugh at him, but I felt this stinging sensation in my eyes as soon as I opened them. Turns out he was shampooing my hair while I was going down on him.
Posted by Reciprocity8Posted by JustBrowsingPosted by Reciprocity8Posted by JustBrowsing
A Cancer woman and I were once discovered banging pretty hard during a camping trip at a local State Park by an elderly couple. 😁
Did you finish, though—
Hell yeah, one of the biggest creampies of our lives! 🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/thisisgiphy-reaction-audience-l4HodBpDmoMA5p9bG
Posted by JustBrowsingPosted by Reciprocity8Posted by JustBrowsing
A Cancer woman and I were once discovered banging pretty hard during a camping trip at a local State Park by an elderly couple. 😁
Did you finish, though—
Hell yeah, one of the biggest creampies of our lives! 🤣click to expand
Posted by Reciprocity8
And to make matters worse, the schlep had a fucking condom on.
You should’ve played along. Yeah babe I need plan b. Spot me a $ 50?
Posted by LethalFantasiaPosted by Whorpio
When I was 17 I hooked up with this dude I had a huge crush on throughout high school.
He had a shower sex fantasy, but his shower was small and there were no supports for any of the sex positions in my repertoire back then.
So I compromised with him and we settled on just a blowjob in the shower. As I was getting into it I felt him start playing with my hair so I opened my eyes (they were closed since water was sporadically dripping on my face) to look up and smile/laugh at him, but I felt this stinging sensation in my eyes as soon as I opened them. Turns out he was shampooing my hair while I was going down on him.
LMFAO
I am fucking dead. This is like a scene from a movie or something. God what a hilarious dude that guy must have been. LOLOLOL.click to expand
He was a Pisces who was only good for looking at. He was a football player and if you tried to have a convo with him it would become apparent he may have had 1 too many concussions.
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I'm so fucking depressed and sad. Sounds contradictive but those are the things I feel with some periods of hope inbetween.
I'm an ugly guy and I have a one year younger brother who is handsome as fuck, like a model. He hangs out with everyone I used to
Give me your best signs and indicators or fake ass friends:
Why is pof sending these hot virgos? NO Witch NO. its a trap. life so not funny. just got a lot of likes from some very hot looking virgos. i am soo being test. NOO NOO. not going there again. NO. one of you slap me if i do. please. There are 5 of them an
So a friend got me to sign up with POF thingy. A young Scorp guy wants to get with me. He is hot. I am just not sure about the age difference. He says he loves older women. He also said he think its hot that i am a gamer, grandmother and still hot looking
What should be the punishment for such a thing?
Faking a rape?
Faking a hate crime?
Should we allow street justice to do it's thing?
Should we wait to all the evidence to be presented in a Grand Jury?
Of queers
Of trans people
Of genderfluid people
Of non-monogamists
Of anyone who’s not Christian or religious
Of immigrants
Of people of color
Of performers
Of crossdressers and drag queens
Of sex workers
Of kinksters
Of other minorities and alt culture m
@nikkistar
Someone get her some milk!
Say, you’re stuck in an elevator with 5 dxp members (of your choice), and there’s no getting out for an hour or two, at least.
Who would you be stuck with?
Choose 5 group sex positions, and describe them in relation to people and their roles.
Greetings, Ladies and Gentlemen.
With cohabitations and other forms of shack-ups on the rise, do these arrangements last?
Do people stay together for long periods of time this way?
Would you do it?
Does it usually lead to divorce if the people actual
I should have been done earlier
-when I came here, I thought I would get adult discussions and give/receive relationship advice but I get more educated discussions on fucking 4chan and the rship threads here are always idiotic
-I don't care about astrol
Post them here.
Ex:
"Hey, I don’t know if you're in the city for very long, but we should hang out if you want to. Here's my number."
Shouldn’t we have one?
outside of dxp
http://www.manandvans.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/office-removals.jpg
The Boss is picking up his belongings from the desk in his office. Now his former office.
@Romz- walks in and says, “I got here as quick as I could!”
The Boss-“They’re forcing me
So i have been sending emails back in forth with the brothel in Amsterdam and I have this feeling that it's possibly some sort of scam.
I'm supposed to pay in advance in cash before my encounter which really worries me.
Like i can't call paypal or my ba
Go to a 75 min cycle class?
Or
A How to Talk Dirty class?
she says, "long time no see," with matching smile so gorgeous and flirtatious i smiled back at her
then she fixed her bra
daaaaaaaaamn
Guys: did you cum so hard that you accidentally sharted?
Ladies: did you accidentally let him go down on you when you had yeast infection cream on your hoo-ha?
Share your stories, folks!