I am about to go into a custody battle

I am about to go into a custody battle. Has anyone been through this if so what are somethings you wish someone would have told you before hand?

"Love your child, more than you hate your ex."

Posted by nikkistar
"Love your child, more than you hate your ex."

Easily done. I don't hate him although I think he hates me. I just want to move back home where both of our family lives.

Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by nikkistar
"Love your child, more than you hate your ex."

Easily done. I don't hate him although I think he hates me. I just want to move back home where both of our family lives.

click to expand

There are several questions I will ask you

1) Is the location where you currently reside, where your child has lived most of their lives?

2) Why do you believe the move will benefit everyone involved, not just you.

3) How far away will this take your child from their father?

4) If it is a long distance away from your child's father, do you think this is actually beneficial or detrimental to your child?

Above all else, children should always be left out of adult situations as much as possible. Both you and your ex need to friends, and each put their feelings aside to account that what you do to each other, you are essentially doing to your child as well.

Make sure that you show that you are stable...

Have a job

A place to stay

A support system

So forth and so on

Good luck I hope that everything works out for you



I know this type of thing can be stressful

Remember that kids aren't ping-pong balls to be used in the match between the parents.

Posted by blackphase
Geez guys.. I think she is trying to make the best move for her child here. From what I know she has a really great and supportive family so being near them is a positive influence on her child.. and I remember her having issues with the area she was living already.. don't remember the details, but I know she was having issues with the area.

Sorry, but what about the father and his rights as well? If it only benefits one side that is not the child's, then I am not going to support a decision that doesn't put that first. And no matter what the relation is, the father, If he wants to be an active part of the child's life without nefarious reasons, should be placed ahead of that of any other familial relation. That goes for the same if the tables were turned as well.

It is already going to put a lot of mental strain on a child to go through divorce. Their minds have a way of always making it their fault for the divorce. To uproot a child from what they know, and move them away from a parent that wants to actively be part of their lives at this pivotal point, will be added stress.

When you become a parent, you put your kids well being before those of your own. Sometimes, that means you don't get everything you want, and need to compromise. And some of those things aren't the parents optimal wishes, but the child's.

It would have been easy for me to take my son away from his father, move to Virginia to be closer to my mom and dad, where my support system is. Instead, I stuck it out in CA, because for my son, it was beneficial for him to have both of his parents. Because regardless of the outcome of our relationship, my son needed both of us more than I needed comfort.

We as human beings, have a tendency to not step out of our own shoes, and allow our emotions to guide us. Custody battles aren't pretty. And far too many people do things for the wrong reasons. I am not saying the OP doesn't have her child's best interest at heart, but I am going to ask her questions so that she may think about things more.

Posted by blackphase
Geez guys.. I think she is trying to make the best move for her child here. From what I know she has a really great and supportive family so being near them is a positive influence on her child.. and I remember her having issues with the area she was living already.. don't remember the details, but I know she was having issues with the area.

I remember that too.. She seems like a sweet girl that has her head on straight Custody battles are never fun or easy

Think of the child and what they would want ~

A mum and dad who can behave rerspectfully and mature towards each other

The word "battle" should not come into a situation where there is and has been love