If a DXPer were to go to prison..

What would they be going to prison for?

@saggurl88 Ignoring martial law to get some dick.

@dilettante Shoplifting lube and cans of fancy feast.

Posted by dilettante

Posted by _Dazed

@dilettante Shoplifting lube and cans of fancy feast.

@_dazed for being annoying

click to expand

THATS NOT ILLEGAL

I don't even wanna think about being locked in a cell...I'd have a major anxiety attack 😂😅🙈

Posted by LaPetiteEtoile

Posted by CuddleBug1288

I don't even wanna think about being locked in a cell...I'd have a major anxiety attack 😂😅🙈

It’s quite peaceful. And they give you romance novels to pass the time comfortably.

😂

click to expand

I'll take the romance novels cause I'm a sucker, thanks 12th house venus lol.

But the rest? Having to follow someone else's bullshit schedule...nah, I don't want it. Lol. Yes, completely selfish reason. I'll admit it. I want to do what I want, and not be restricted.

firebunny for sending seraphlight into ands' favorite latte shop, to distract him and his gf, while he attempts to kidnap Rocket....

Posted by Metatron

firebunny for sending seraphlight into ands' favorite latte shop, to distract him and his gf, while he attempts to kidnap Rocket....

I saw a cartoon about that once.

Posted by xXxAliiciaXxX

Cuteboy for cyberstalking

Wow.. Surprised I wasn't the first mentioned for that.

Posted by _Dazed

@saggurl88 Ignoring martial law to get some dick.

Hahaha! I've went to go get some 2 weekends in a row 😆

@Unwording Illegal use of endangered squid species to make tentacle porn.

Posted by LaPetiteEtoile

Definitely Murder.

Homicide stemming from marital dispute. Husband asked why dinner wasn't on the table yet.

Posted by boundtoglow

Rom- insider trading 6months at the white people prison

I don’t even want to comment lol because this could be true already 😌

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by _Dazed

@saggurl88 Ignoring martial law to get some dick.

Hahaha! I've went to go get some 2 weekends in a row 😆

class="bqfade">click to expand

I’m 100000% judging you on this one 👏

You told me I couldn’t go to the farmers market before this quarantine was even a real thing 😠

Now you’re getting tinder salami 🍆 during the height of Rona?

Ur ancestors are watching 👀 and the Rona too 🦠

Posted by Romz-

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by _Dazed

@saggurl88 Ignoring martial law to get some dick.

Hahaha! I've went to go get some 2 weekends in a row 😆

I’m 100000% judging you on this one 👏

You told me I couldn’t go to the farmers market before this quarantine was even a real thing 😠

Now you’re getting tinder salami 🍆 during the height of Rona?

Ur ancestors are watching 👀 and the Rona too 🦠

click to expand

I’m dating a Virgo and both of us work by ourselves in offices.

I’m also not high risk carrying precious cargo. 🤰

We saw each other a couple of weekends ago and since it was all good, IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE 😩😈, I went back last weekend for more.

We practice social distancing by not kissing on the mouth and keeping to the body only. 😋

I’ll be busy this weekend, so it will be a couple of weeks before I see him again. 🥴

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Romz-

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by _Dazed

@saggurl88 Ignoring martial law to get some dick.

Hahaha! I've went to go get some 2 weekends in a row 😆

I’m 100000% judging you on this one 👏

You told me I couldn’t go to the farmers market before this quarantine was even a real thing 😠

Now you’re getting tinder salami 🍆 during the height of Rona?

Ur ancestors are watching 👀 and the Rona too 🦠

I’m dating a Virgo and both of us work by ourselves in offices.

I’m also not high risk carrying precious cargo. 🤰

We saw each other a couple of weekends ago and since it was all good, IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE 😩😈, I went back last weekend for more.

We practice social distancing by not kissing on the mouth and keeping to the body only. 😋

I’ll be busy this weekend, so it will be a couple of weeks before I see him again. 🥴

click to expand

Is his penis longer than 6ft?

Posted by 40Caliber

I'm pretty sure I'd go to jail for making beastiality porn. 🤠

Nobody has to wonder about me at all!

wut

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Romz-

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by _Dazed

@saggurl88 Ignoring martial law to get some dick.

Hahaha! I've went to go get some 2 weekends in a row 😆

I’m 100000% judging you on this one 👏

You told me I couldn’t go to the farmers market before this quarantine was even a real thing 😠

Now you’re getting tinder salami 🍆 during the height of Rona?

Ur ancestors are watching 👀 and the Rona too 🦠

I’m dating a Virgo and both of us work by ourselves in offices.

I’m also not high risk carrying precious cargo. 🤰

We saw each other a couple of weekends ago and since it was all good, IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE 😩😈, I went back last weekend for more.

We practice social distancing by not kissing on the mouth and keeping to the body only. 😋

I’ll be busy this weekend, so it will be a couple of weeks before I see him again. 🥴

Is his penis longer than 6ft?

click to expand

6 FEET!!! 🤢🤐😵🤕

Posted by 40Caliber

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by 40Caliber

I'm pretty sure I'd go to jail for making beastiality porn. 🤠

Nobody has to wonder about me at all!

wut

Me. Sheep. Edge of cliff.

😁

click to expand

Not sure if this is a joke or not.

I'd do one for @ItsSupes2 but there's a high probability he'd be let off easy, and have the option of "serving" in the military behind the wire once again.

Posted by LaPetiteEtoile

Posted by _Dazed

I'd do one for @ItsSupes2 but there's a high probability he'd be let off easy, and have the option of "serving" in the military behind the wire once again.

She asked for it.

click to expand

I cannot confirm that the officers he assaulted were female.

@BathHouseCulture

Multiple escapes from a state sanctioned mental facility and felony impersonation of a licenced medical professional.

@Ladymaralade

Felony obstruction of justice for giving an incomplete answer to a question in grand jury testimony, during an alleged perjury case regarding the use of anabolic steroids.

@_Dazed

For illegally downloading tentacle porn

Posted by nikkistar

@_Dazed

For illegally downloading tentacle porn

Nope. Didn't download it. @Unwording mailed me a flash drive.

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nikkistar

@_Dazed

For illegally downloading tentacle porn

Nope. Didn't download it. @Unwording mailed me a flash drive.

click to expand

She can't do that in federal prison for poaching endangered squids, man.

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nikkistar

@_Dazed

For illegally downloading tentacle porn

Nope. Didn't download it. @Unwording mailed me a flash drive.

She can't do that in federal prison for poaching endangered squids, man.

click to expand

Fine. She smuggled it out to me in her prison purse during my visit.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by boundtoglow

Rom- insider trading 6months at the white people prison

More like a boiler room selling junk stock.

Conspiracy theory magazines as the office reading material.

click to expand

Lol you’re such a trash panda 🐼....

Shut the fuck up 😎.... what do you have? I find it hilarious you still make an effort to go out of your way to talk shit and take jabs, meanwhile I literally couldn’t give a fuck what your two lips gotta say

👏 get wrecked

Posted by Unwording

Posted by _Dazed

Posted by nikkistar

@_Dazed

For illegally downloading tentacle porn

Nope. Didn't download it. @Unwording mailed me a flash drive.

Prolly how I ended up in prison.

https://i.imgur.com/CwfsETi.jpg

class="bqfade">click to expand

Sometimes sacrifices must be made ❤

Posted by Arielle83

Stealing cats

LOL I saw the notification that you posted in this thread and that's immediately the first thought that came to mind for you 🤣

I'd go for forming a sex cult preparing for the apocalypse.