Mental/Emotional Reflection

How often do you take a mental/emotional time out to reflect on how you're doing at that moment? Why? What makes you do so?

Do you just kinda float through life, feeling whatever and going with the flow, and figuring it out along the way? How come?

Or do you intentionally set time aside to reflect, feel your feels, and process them?

I'm not quite sure where I fit in this puzzle, part of why I'm curious how ya'll do things.

Posted by bumboklatt

I play it by ear. Although i know what i need but i dont know what i want

I reflect a lot especially when im alone

I feel ya on the "what I need vs what I want"...but idk if everyone's cookie-cut out to be one or the other? Idk...I like discussing things, why I made this thread lol.

Posted by Antiphates

I used to set aside a couple of hours per week for it for most of my life.

Over the last years however I just did it whenever it became necessary because I didn't that energy and fortitude to venture into the abyss like I used to.

Overall I'd say the set time concept is better but harder to pull of because it can bring up issues that don't require immediate attention which in turn can eat up a lot of energy. On the other hand it's one of the best preperations that you can have in the long run.

Is setting up a time weekly to tackle it something you intentionally did yourself, or did someone else sort of plant the idea in you?

So, when you did 'go into the abyss' as you stated, would it feel like it was very draining and taxing and ate up a lot of your time or did it help ease you?

So you'd say the set time concept maybe forces you to prioritize, or compartmentalize, yourself and feelings and mental state into different levels of priorities? Is that a 'good' or 'bad' thing in your opinion? Why, why not?

I never take the time out. I just roll with the punches and relish what ever emotion I have that day. If I'm having a bad day, I'm just quiet and not as talkative. I rarely have 2 bad days in a row. I can pick myself up pretty quickly cause I don't like being in that state of mind. It's poisonous to my well being.

Posted by shakedown

Posted by saggurl88

I never take the time out. I just roll with the punches and relish what ever emotion I have that day. If I'm having a bad day, I'm just quiet and not as talkative. I rarely have 2 bad days in a row. I can pick myself up pretty quickly cause I don't like being in that state of mind. It's poisonous to my well being.

I wish I could be this way.

click to expand

I think it has to do with my optimism. I get rid of most things negative. It's so soul sucking. Some people find comfort in it, I don't. And I always just think things will work themselves out, and they usually do.

Don't get me wrong, I have bad days, but I like all emotions cause I rarely feel them, so I go through the motions and live in that moment because they will be gone once my mind goes elsewhere. I have no patience for bad energy so it moves through me pretty quickly. Its like "WTF is this?? GET OUT!"

When things don’t seem to be working, when I feel overwhelmed and out of balance.

I only started doing this 10 years ago after my divorce. Or learned how.

Posted by shakedown

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by shakedown

Posted by saggurl88

I never take the time out. I just roll with the punches and relish what ever emotion I have that day. If I'm having a bad day, I'm just quiet and not as talkative. I rarely have 2 bad days in a row. I can pick myself up pretty quickly cause I don't like being in that state of mind. It's poisonous to my well being.

I wish I could be this way.

I think it has to do with my optimism. I get rid of most things negative. It's so soul sucking. Some people find comfort in it, I don't. And I always just think things will work themselves out, and they usually do.

Don't get me wrong, I have bad days, but I like all emotions cause I rarely feel them, so I go through the motions and live in that moment because they will be gone once my mind goes elsewhere. I have no patience for bad energy so it moves through me pretty quickly. Its like "WTF is this?? GET OUT!"

I am generalizing, but I assume that has to do with your Sagittarius sun. Do you mind if I ask your rising. I do witness your positivity on here (the inspirational quotes on the front page and pictures of your vacations).

click to expand

Libra rising. Just a shit show of sunshine and rays of happiness coming out my ass! 🤣🤣🤣😜

Thanks for the compliment. I try. For me it’s easier just to be civil and nice.

I like making people feel good. It brings me joy to see someone happier or know that I helped in some small way. I have a nurturing, smothering moon too (Cancer)

Posted by saggurl88

I never take the time out. I just roll with the punches and relish what ever emotion I have that day. If I'm having a bad day, I'm just quiet and not as talkative. I rarely have 2 bad days in a row. I can pick myself up pretty quickly cause I don't like being in that state of mind. It's poisonous to my well being.

As a fellow Sag sun, do you ever feel like you don't deal with 'negative' feelings right away? I feel like I tend to laugh away and deflect a lot of the not-so-pleasant emotions.. which isn't the healthiest way to go about it lol...but yeah.

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by saggurl88

I never take the time out. I just roll with the punches and relish what ever emotion I have that day. If I'm having a bad day, I'm just quiet and not as talkative. I rarely have 2 bad days in a row. I can pick myself up pretty quickly cause I don't like being in that state of mind. It's poisonous to my well being.

As a fellow Sag sun, do you ever feel like you don't deal with 'negative' feelings right away? I feel like I tend to laugh away and deflect a lot of the not-so-pleasant emotions.. which isn't the healthiest way to go about it lol...but yeah.

click to expand

Yeah, I push them to the back of my mind and make them go away lol

I don't deal with them, but honestly they come and go so quickly, I'm very understanding, so usually I want to hash things out and see what the issue is. I do have a quick temper but if I'm upset I will just scream and the top of my lungs and spew truthful things that have pissed me off.

I don't use words that cut cause I'm careful of other peoples feelings. They can do that to me though and I'm super forgiving of it but will tell them if they ever say stuff like that again, I will cut them off. I can be extremely cold when I want. If I've said something like this, they will know it's the truth. The choice is theirs. I have no issue with cutting anyone off and I can forget them and act like I never knew them. I'm very detached with my feelings sometimes. I think it's a part of me being all or nothing.

Posted by LethalFantasia

I've never just 'floated' in life tbqh

don't even know how the fuck that feels

I've always been "aware" that this is life, I am eventually going to die and there's more here then what we are able to physically see

I question a lot about myself and my life

sometimes too much but I think it's better then sleepwalking through life like a moron

I've always enjoyed people who can be completely encompassed in this exact moment of life 💛 I can do that, sometimes, bt not all the time. I statt overthinking things because I'm focused on what 'could' happen not what 'is' happening.

Posted by LeisureCult

A few seconds every now and then I think about aliens and the afterlife

If something goes wrong it's always the aliens.. 😉😂😋

Posted by shakedown

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by shakedown

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by shakedown

Posted by saggurl88

I never take the time out. I just roll with the punches and relish what ever emotion I have that day. If I'm having a bad day, I'm just quiet and not as talkative. I rarely have 2 bad days in a row. I can pick myself up pretty quickly cause I don't like being in that state of mind. It's poisonous to my well being.

I wish I could be this way.

I think it has to do with my optimism. I get rid of most things negative. It's so soul sucking. Some people find comfort in it, I don't. And I always just think things will work themselves out, and they usually do.

Don't get me wrong, I have bad days, but I like all emotions cause I rarely feel them, so I go through the motions and live in that moment because they will be gone once my mind goes elsewhere. I have no patience for bad energy so it moves through me pretty quickly. Its like "WTF is this?? GET OUT!"

I am generalizing, but I assume that has to do with your Sagittarius sun. Do you mind if I ask your rising. I do witness your positivity on here (the inspirational quotes on the front page and pictures of your vacations).

Libra rising. Just a shit show of sunshine and rays of happiness coming out my ass! 🤣🤣🤣😜

Thanks for the compliment. I try. For me it’s easier just to be civil and nice.

I like making people feel good. It brings me joy to see someone happier or know that I helped in some small way. I have a nurturing, smothering moon too (Cancer)

Libra rising!!! I would have never guessed. That makes sense.

click to expand

It out weighs the evil Scorpio Venus I have! 😆



You're an Aries right, If I remember correctly? What's your Rising and Moon?

Posted by PuzzlePieces

When things don’t seem to be working, when I feel overwhelmed and out of balance.

I only started doing this 10 years ago after my divorce. Or learned how.

So you adapted and learned how to take a moment to analye because, maybe, that's what was presented to you at a certain point in life and kind of forced you to be like "hey, chill for a minute n think about this"?...

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by saggurl88

I never take the time out. I just roll with the punches and relish what ever emotion I have that day. If I'm having a bad day, I'm just quiet and not as talkative. I rarely have 2 bad days in a row. I can pick myself up pretty quickly cause I don't like being in that state of mind. It's poisonous to my well being.

As a fellow Sag sun, do you ever feel like you don't deal with 'negative' feelings right away? I feel like I tend to laugh away and deflect a lot of the not-so-pleasant emotions.. which isn't the healthiest way to go about it lol...but yeah.

Yeah, I push them to the back of my mind and make them go away lol

I don't deal with them, but honestly they come and go so quickly, I'm very understanding, so usually I want to hash things out and see what the issue is. I do have a quick temper but if I'm upset I will just scream and the top of my lungs and spew truthful things that have pissed me off.

I don't use words that cut cause I'm careful of other peoples feelings. They can do that to me though and I'm super forgiving of it but will tell them if they ever say stuff like that again, I will cut them off. I can be extremely cold when I want. If I've said something like this, they will know it's the truth. The choice is theirs. I have no issue with cutting anyone off and I can forget them and act like I never knew them. I'm very detached with my feelings sometimes. I think it's a part of me being all or nothing.

click to expand

Yeah I get it. I'm nice until I'm not and then I blow up...I'm gonna say it's the perks of being a Mars-dominant Sag sun/moon 🙃😘 (lowkey kidding obvs, prob need to work on a healthy emotional expression...which actually is my art)...I can cut people off lickety-split, not something I enjoy tho, I'm a people person.

So, maybe a difficult question (for you and/or me, and any other Sags) do you feel like you putting the 'blame' ("the choice is theirs" comment) on others maybe minimizes your responsibility for the situation? Or gives you instant gratification or makes you feel better in lieu of actually dealing with what is happening? Sry, I'm analyzing myself a helluva lot woth these questions too so I hope I'm not offending you or some shiz 😅🙈

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by Antiphates

I used to set aside a couple of hours per week for it for most of my life.

Over the last years however I just did it whenever it became necessary because I didn't that energy and fortitude to venture into the abyss like I used to.

Overall I'd say the set time concept is better but harder to pull of because it can bring up issues that don't require immediate attention which in turn can eat up a lot of energy. On the other hand it's one of the best preperations that you can have in the long run.

Is setting up a time weekly to tackle it something you intentionally did yourself, or did someone else sort of plant the idea in you?

So, when you did 'go into the abyss' as you stated, would it feel like it was very draining and taxing and ate up a lot of your time or did it help ease you?

So you'd say the set time concept maybe forces you to prioritize, or compartmentalize, yourself and feelings and mental state into different levels of priorities? Is that a 'good' or 'bad' thing in your opinion? Why, why not?

I'd say it was indirectly ingrained into me due to how problematic my childhood as a whole was. With all those stressfactors I often needed time to wind down and sort things out for myself. I even had an imaginary friend to cope with those things.

Overtime it just became a habit that often naturally initated itself when I spent multiple hours with reading and listening to music.

Yes, but only in the beginning. This entrance barrier becomes harder and harder to break through the more time has passed sinced the last time. Once it has become a habit again however it not only eases you but grounds you as well. I'd say it's also a way to slowly built up resilience if you keep going deeper and deeper each time.

No, at least I dont think it's normally the case. By forcing yourself you set yourself up to bring up things you otherwise wouldn't have. I think what you would describe would happen if you would do it with a structured approach, which is what I try not to do. Compartmentalization is part of the process to look at things from multiple angles. It also at times required to understand why something causes a reaction in certain settings and why it doesn't in others etc.

I'd say it's 50/50 in the good-bad-axis. While it is required for the mask play of playing the counterpart in social situations and/or arguments, it can also be a big, very big problem for relationships due to the emotional detachment it can create. Even more so if one is already prone to it. It took me a while to understand that relationships at times require you to get angry instead of being calm and understanding. On the other hand this method helped me to figure that out, so, yeah, still 50/50.

click to expand

Are you an introvert? Or maybe as a child you were? Or do you think it was specific to your upbringing that you needed wind-down time? I mean, a lot of kiddos do, that's how they learn how to react to their surroundings and feelings and how they learn to deal with things, etc..

Resilience. That's a good word!

I agree. I don't like confrontation in any sort of relationship (platonic, familial, romantic etc) but that doesn't solve things. In my case it usually makes things worse and I'm just beginning to realize that. One should feel like they're voice is just as important as the next person's.

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

When things don’t seem to be working, when I feel overwhelmed and out of balance.

I only started doing this 10 years ago after my divorce. Or learned how.

So you adapted and learned how to take a moment to analye because, maybe, that's what was presented to you at a certain point in life and kind of forced you to be like "hey, chill for a minute n think about this"?...

click to expand

Because life hasn’t gone as planned. I had felt out of balance for years.. and I was always go go go and taking care of everyone else. What I’ve learned since is to take life by one step at a time, slow down, take time to listen to my intuition, analyze and evaluate if I’m going the right way for myself.

Naturally I tend to spin out if I’m not paying attention & have to slow down and re-evaluate. Usually it means self-care is needed.

Right now I’m in a huge alien down for the last month and things are getting better. 🙂

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

When things don’t seem to be working, when I feel overwhelmed and out of balance.

I only started doing this 10 years ago after my divorce. Or learned how.

So you adapted and learned how to take a moment to analye because, maybe, that's what was presented to you at a certain point in life and kind of forced you to be like "hey, chill for a minute n think about this"?...

Because life hasn’t gone as planned. I had felt out of balance for years.. and I was always go go go and taking care of everyone else. What I’ve learned since is to take life by one step at a time, slow down, take time to listen to my intuition, analyze and evaluate if I’m going the right way for myself.

Naturally I tend to spin out if I’m not paying attention & have to slow down and re-evaluate. Usually it means self-care is needed.

Right now I’m in a huge alien down for the last month and things are getting better. 🙂

click to expand

I can dig that. I feel like I need to learn when to slow down and really take things in.

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

When things don’t seem to be working, when I feel overwhelmed and out of balance.

I only started doing this 10 years ago after my divorce. Or learned how.

So you adapted and learned how to take a moment to analye because, maybe, that's what was presented to you at a certain point in life and kind of forced you to be like "hey, chill for a minute n think about this"?...

Because life hasn’t gone as planned. I had felt out of balance for years.. and I was always go go go and taking care of everyone else. What I’ve learned since is to take life by one step at a time, slow down, take time to listen to my intuition, analyze and evaluate if I’m going the right way for myself.

Naturally I tend to spin out if I’m not paying attention & have to slow down and re-evaluate. Usually it means self-care is needed.

Right now I’m in a huge alien down for the last month and things are getting better. 🙂

I can dig that. I feel like I need to learn when to slow down and really take things in.

click to expand

It really does help to feel more in control of what’s happening in your life. Ya know, to take responsibility for you instead of blame others if things go wrong. Well it’s been my experience anyway. 🙂

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by Antiphates

I used to set aside a couple of hours per week for it for most of my life.

Over the last years however I just did it whenever it became necessary because I didn't that energy and fortitude to venture into the abyss like I used to.

Overall I'd say the set time concept is better but harder to pull of because it can bring up issues that don't require immediate attention which in turn can eat up a lot of energy. On the other hand it's one of the best preperations that you can have in the long run.

Is setting up a time weekly to tackle it something you intentionally did yourself, or did someone else sort of plant the idea in you?

So, when you did 'go into the abyss' as you stated, would it feel like it was very draining and taxing and ate up a lot of your time or did it help ease you?

So you'd say the set time concept maybe forces you to prioritize, or compartmentalize, yourself and feelings and mental state into different levels of priorities? Is that a 'good' or 'bad' thing in your opinion? Why, why not?

I'd say it was indirectly ingrained into me due to how problematic my childhood as a whole was. With all those stressfactors I often needed time to wind down and sort things out for myself. I even had an imaginary friend to cope with those things.

Overtime it just became a habit that often naturally initated itself when I spent multiple hours with reading and listening to music.

Yes, but only in the beginning. This entrance barrier becomes harder and harder to break through the more time has passed sinced the last time. Once it has become a habit again however it not only eases you but grounds you as well. I'd say it's also a way to slowly built up resilience if you keep going deeper and deeper each time.

No, at least I dont think it's normally the case. By forcing yourself you set yourself up to bring up things you otherwise wouldn't have. I think what you would describe would happen if you would do it with a structured approach, which is what I try not to do. Compartmentalization is part of the process to look at things from multiple angles. It also at times required to understand why something causes a reaction in certain settings and why it doesn't in others etc.

I'd say it's 50/50 in the good-bad-axis. While it is required for the mask play of playing the counterpart in social situations and/or arguments, it can also be a big, very big problem for relationships due to the emotional detachment it can create. Even more so if one is already prone to it. It took me a while to understand that relationships at times require you to get angry instead of being calm and understanding. On the other hand this method helped me to figure that out, so, yeah, still 50/50.

Are you an introvert? Or maybe as a child you were? Or do you think it was specific to your upbringing that you needed wind-down time? I mean, a lot of kiddos do, that's how they learn how to react to their surroundings and feelings and how they learn to deal with things, etc..

Resilience. That's a good word!

I agree. I don't like confrontation in any sort of relationship (platonic, familial, romantic etc) but that doesn't solve things. In my case it usually makes things worse and I'm just beginning to realize that. One should feel like they're voice is just as important as the next person's.

No, I have always been an extrovert. I just got punished a lot for it and was taught that it was a problem. As a result I learned how to pass as an introvert to avoid conflict. The ubringing played a big part in it because I learned to think that I was the problem of every conflict or bad thing that happened which then was internalized and forced me to reflect a lot to avoid those situations in the future. While it was good to go through this to understand the negative sides of extroverts it was still difficult to come back and accep that 'true' core part of me.

It's not only that. It's also good and healthy for the partner. If your partner fucks up faces no consequences in form of an emotional reaction but only patient understanding it will onyl create the foundation for future conflict because the part of them that feels guilty partially yearns for some from of punishment. One of the common expressions of this is the feeling that the partner doesn't care if he doesn get angry when you tell him you had/have an affair.

click to expand

Uh ohsss. I believe you said you're German, anywho, do you think the culture you were raised in had any affect on you feeling as if being an extrovert was in any way 'bad' or had negative connotations? Or was it more specific to just like, you and your family or personal life?

Yeah, it's reinforcing their behavior...Letting shiz slide because you don't want to say something is just setting up a domino effect and it isn't gonna be fun when it all comes down...no matter how acquiescing one is.

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

When things don’t seem to be working, when I feel overwhelmed and out of balance.

I only started doing this 10 years ago after my divorce. Or learned how.

So you adapted and learned how to take a moment to analye because, maybe, that's what was presented to you at a certain point in life and kind of forced you to be like "hey, chill for a minute n think about this"?...

Because life hasn’t gone as planned. I had felt out of balance for years.. and I was always go go go and taking care of everyone else. What I’ve learned since is to take life by one step at a time, slow down, take time to listen to my intuition, analyze and evaluate if I’m going the right way for myself.

Naturally I tend to spin out if I’m not paying attention & have to slow down and re-evaluate. Usually it means self-care is needed.

Right now I’m in a huge alien down for the last month and things are getting better. 🙂

I can dig that. I feel like I need to learn when to slow down and really take things in.

It really does help to feel more in control of what’s happening in your life. Ya know, to take responsibility for you instead of blame others if things go wrong. Well it’s been my experience anyway. 🙂

click to expand

Responsibility and Control. Good words.

Responsibility vs. Control - what's the difference? Why is there a difference? What behaviors describe each word and why would they be warrented?

I have some ponderimg to do...thx! Also no need to answer my questions unless ya wanna, it was more like me talking outloud to myself ha! But feel free if you have something to say! 🙃

Posted by PVAFDeux

Posted by CuddleBug88

How often do you take a mental/emotional time out to reflect on how you're doing at that moment? Why? What makes you do so?

Do you just kinda float through life, feeling whatever and going with the flow, and figuring it out along the way? How come?

Or do you intentionally set time aside to reflect, feel your feels, and process them?

I'm not quite sure where I fit in this puzzle, part of why I'm curious how ya'll do things.

I reflect daily. Mostly because my mine is always buzzing, analyzing and thinking. I don't float through anything I'm pretty methodical and intentional in my actions. Some times I can be spontaneous but I usually have a plan.

click to expand

Intention...another good word!

If your mind is always buzzing, analyzing, etc...do you think you always have a plan because you can see A, B, C, etc. happening at any moment so it's like a self-preservation tactic? Or just something you're prone to?

If you don't have a plan do you tend to spiral out of feeling in control?

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

Posted by CuddleBug88

Posted by PuzzlePieces

When things don’t seem to be working, when I feel overwhelmed and out of balance.

I only started doing this 10 years ago after my divorce. Or learned how.

So you adapted and learned how to take a moment to analye because, maybe, that's what was presented to you at a certain point in life and kind of forced you to be like "hey, chill for a minute n think about this"?...

Because life hasn’t gone as planned. I had felt out of balance for years.. and I was always go go go and taking care of everyone else. What I’ve learned since is to take life by one step at a time, slow down, take time to listen to my intuition, analyze and evaluate if I’m going the right way for myself.

Naturally I tend to spin out if I’m not paying attention & have to slow down and re-evaluate. Usually it means self-care is needed.

Right now I’m in a huge alien down for the last month and things are getting better. 🙂

I can dig that. I feel like I need to learn when to slow down and really take things in.

It really does help to feel more in control of what’s happening in your life. Ya know, to take responsibility for you instead of blame others if things go wrong. Well it’s been my experience anyway. 🙂

Responsibility and Control. Good words.

Responsibility vs. Control - what's the difference? Why is there a difference? What behaviors describe each word and why would they be warrented?

I have some ponderimg to do...thx! Also no need to answer my questions unless ya wanna, it was more like me talking outloud to myself ha! But feel free if you have something to say! 🙃

click to expand

Well I mean control as in you are guiding where life is taking you, not having others determine that.

Well responsibility as in what part do you play? What behaviors, actions contribute vs things just happening to you. Things happen for you not against you or to you, but if you don’t slow down and analyze, notice, etc then how do you know what lessons are there? What you may need to change in order to have a better outcome.

Posted by tiziani

maybe a few moments a week but not much.

as long as I get what im feeling off my chest im good to go.

Do you ever hold it in?

Are you all fucking serious? 🤦‍♀️