Needing Feedback on a Text

For context, it’s been 3 months no contact with a friend of mine long distance (of 4 years) that I had intimacy with back in September (wholeheartedly regret) and the dynamic has changed. I know it’s going to be a tad awkward but I don’t want to give up on him. That period I needed to heal to get over my feelings of him and give him space. I feel it’s a good time to reach out since I saw he’ll be touring in my town. I sent a funny video and he just laughed at it, but before I can say anymore, is this good to send? Despite not talking, we still follow each other on Instagram. I muted him, but he still watches my stories

“Anyways, the reason I texted is not only to check up, but also because I just wanted to say that I needed the time to self reflect and leave you alone. Unless I was wrong, I’ve felt the vibe had changed after we hung out and times that I tried to engage and be playful, it got shut down and it had left me confused if I did something wrong. It’s okay to say you weren’t feeling it, but knowing how you are sometimes, you don’t like confrontation nor want to hurt my feelings. Maybe you had a bad day, I don’t know😔 despite all this, know that I still have love and care for you, always. I’d still love to see you next year at the place we’ve met that begun a wonderful friendship. Only this time, we’re friends and I can cheer for you loudly in my hometown. If not, take care and wishing you all the best in your endeavors”.

If there’s anything more or take out, feedback is welcome. Please don’t be too harsh on me. I’m sad and I miss my friend dearly

I mean you can send this to him like it is, but I don't think it's going to be received well. The man had feelings for you and now that's forever changed.

I don't think you'll be able to be friends like it was with this man ever again. If it's going to be awkward from here on out, just cut them loose entirely.

How has the dynamic changed specifically?

If dude not reaching out after sleeping together for 3 months doesn't sound like he is the one with a issue after the fact. This is why I'm asking for clarification as to what changed.

" How's my favorite LDR friend doing❤️?

Am I going to get a hug when you get into town?"

Boom. Friend zone announcement + love+ wanting to keep in touch.

Posted by Lostthoughts
How has the dynamic changed specifically?

If dude not reaching out after sleeping together for 3 months doesn't sound like he is the one with a issue after the fact. This is why I'm asking for clarification as to what changed.

" How's my favorite LDR friend doing❤️?

Am I going to get a hug when you get into town?"

Boom. Friend zone announcement + love+ wanting to keep in touch.

1. Whenever I flirt or send him a photo, he wouldn’t reciprocate / shuts it down

2. I told him I want to see him for his birthday and he said, “ooh no, my birthday is a bad idea, there’s going to be a bunch of friends and family coming, I won’t have time”

3. He only did it once, but it was nail in the coffin for me to distance: he left my message on sent(still to this day). It was nothing to reply to, but he never did that before



It started when I laid a boundary how he teased me that was disrespectful. Instead of saying sorry, he got defensive when I wasn’t really attacking. Second, during my departure, I cried because it’ll be awhile before I see him again and he was a bit uncomfortable with my emotions

That last bit I don’t understand. Is that how my text message draft sounds like?

Posted by VenusDoom

Posted by Lostthoughts
How has the dynamic changed specifically?
If dude not reaching out after sleeping together for 3 months doesn't sound like he is the one with a issue after the fact. This is why I'm asking for clarification as to what changed.
" How's my favorite LDR friend doing❤️?
Am I going to get a hug when you get into town?"
Boom. Friend zone announcement + love+ wanting to keep in touch.

1. Whenever I flirt or send him a photo, he wouldn’t reciprocate / shuts it down

2. I told him I want to see him for his birthday and he said, “ooh no, my birthday is a bad idea, there’s going to be a bunch of friends and family coming, I won’t have time”

3. He only did it once, but it was nail in the coffin for me to distance: he left my message on sent(still to this day). It was nothing to reply to, but he never did that before


It started when I laid a boundary how he teased me that was disrespectful. Instead of saying sorry, he got defensive when I wasn’t really attacking. Second, during my departure, I cried because it’ll be awhile before I see him again and he was a bit uncomfortable with my emotions

That last bit I don’t understand. Is that how my text message draft sounds like?

click to expand

No just my style ...or at least what was done to me. I laughed and just accepted it. The last time I got a message like that, I was aware of their stance so just shrugged it off. I'm not a fool, just carefree at times.

Yours is fine too, just my story and 2 cents.

I got the impression from yours that you are asking to go back and just be friends.

Go for it see his response.

P.S. The way you wrote that gave me softhearted/sweetheart vibes. Which is why I question your name choice of DoomVenus.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by VenusDoom

Posted by Lostthoughts
How has the dynamic changed specifically?
If dude not reaching out after sleeping together for 3 months doesn't sound like he is the one with a issue after the fact. This is why I'm asking for clarification as to what changed.
" How's my favorite LDR friend doing❤️?
Am I going to get a hug when you get into town?"
Boom. Friend zone announcement + love+ wanting to keep in touch.

1. Whenever I flirt or send him a photo, he wouldn’t reciprocate / shuts it down
2. I told him I want to see him for his birthday and he said, “ooh no, my birthday is a bad idea, there’s going to be a bunch of friends and family coming, I won’t have time”
3. He only did it once, but it was nail in the coffin for me to distance: he left my message on sent(still to this day). It was nothing to reply to, but he never did that before

It started when I laid a boundary how he teased me that was disrespectful. Instead of saying sorry, he got defensive when I wasn’t really attacking. Second, during my departure, I cried because it’ll be awhile before I see him again and he was a bit uncomfortable with my emotions
That last bit I don’t understand. Is that how my text message draft sounds like?

click to expand

No just my style ...or at least what was done to me. I laughed and just accepted it. The last time I got a message like that, I was aware of their stance so just shrugged it off. I'm not a fool, just carefree at times.

Yours is fine too, just my story and 2 cents.

I got the impression from yours that you are asking to go back and just be friends.

Go for it see his response.

click to expand

Done to you? Really? Honestly, it’s what I wanted in the first place and do regret sleeping with him.

Despite what happened, I’ve always wondered why he never unfollowed

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by VenusDoom

Posted by Lostthoughts
How has the dynamic changed specifically?
If dude not reaching out after sleeping together for 3 months doesn't sound like he is the one with a issue after the fact. This is why I'm asking for clarification as to what changed.
" How's my favorite LDR friend doing❤️?
Am I going to get a hug when you get into town?"
Boom. Friend zone announcement + love+ wanting to keep in touch.

1. Whenever I flirt or send him a photo, he wouldn’t reciprocate / shuts it down
2. I told him I want to see him for his birthday and he said, “ooh no, my birthday is a bad idea, there’s going to be a bunch of friends and family coming, I won’t have time”
3. He only did it once, but it was nail in the coffin for me to distance: he left my message on sent(still to this day). It was nothing to reply to, but he never did that before

It started when I laid a boundary how he teased me that was disrespectful. Instead of saying sorry, he got defensive when I wasn’t really attacking. Second, during my departure, I cried because it’ll be awhile before I see him again and he was a bit uncomfortable with my emotions
That last bit I don’t understand. Is that how my text message draft sounds like?

click to expand

No just my style ...or at least what was done to me. I laughed and just accepted it. The last time I got a message like that, I was aware of their stance so just shrugged it off. I'm not a fool, just carefree at times.

Yours is fine too, just my story and 2 cents.

I got the impression from yours that you are asking to go back and just be friends.

Go for it see his response.

P.S. The way you wrote that gave me softhearted/sweetheart vibes. Which is why I question your name choice of DoomVenus.

click to expand

Haha! I would consider myself a sweetheart 😂 the name Venus Doom came from the album from the band HIM 🙂

if people have access to your socials it’s not really zero contact.

Also if you text him you’ll likely regret it further down the track because the guy sounds like a real knob. Dismissing you and being a jerk was why you put distance between yall. He hasn’t put in any effort to reconnect so match his energy.

Would leave it alone. Seems like a waste of time if he's not reciprocating contact. Communication should atleast be the basic. You deserve better.

I'm sorry but he doesn't seem interested and if you send that message it's like begging him. Let him go and block him.

Soliciting a response from someone, sometimes no matter how sweet, they will not respond. Better to just let it be.