One of the guys....

So, I've always been one of the guys. I just have always seemed to get along with them better, and just have more in common with them. It isn't something I strive for. Well, here is the thing.

I don't want to be like one of the guys or spoken to like one, I'm still a lady. These days it's even more annoying. I'm not a homie, I'm not a fool... I'm a girl. How do I change this without sacrificing watching football and hanging with my guy buddies. They don't mean any harm by it of course, it just happens.

Posted by RaeofSun
So, I've always been one of the guys. I just have always seemed to get along with them better, and just have more in common with them. It isn't something I strive for. Well, here is the thing.

I don't want to be like one of the guys or spoken to like one, I'm still a lady. These days it's even more annoying. I'm not a homie, I'm not a fool... I'm a girl. How do I change this without sacrificing watching football and hanging with my guy buddies. They don't mean any harm by it of course, it just happens.

I'm trying to remember if your old avatar was the girl with the dark, dark hair & red lipstick-- was that you?

Montgomery: Yes, that is me

@ariesheart: they aren't rude, disrepectful or offensive when they talk to me. I'm more or less just refering to the "dude, fool, homie" ways of being addressed. They are always respectful when it comes to talking about other girls in front of me... actually, come to think of it, they rarely do.

Posted by RaeofSun
Montgomery: Yes, that is me

Do you look like that when you hang out with them?

As opposed to say-- no makeup, hair in messy bun, dressed down, etc.

@arietteheart: "My name is Rae, fool" HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a good one :-) Yeah, it isn't a big deal, just a little something I thought I'd throw out there to see if there were any suggestions to remedy :-)

@ Montgomery: I do when we go out, dinner or to happy hour. If we are just at someone's house, I'll wear flip flops, jeans, a cute top, makeup (no red lips though, just lip gloss) , earrings and perfume. My hair is always fixed though, curly or straight. I make an effort to look like a girl I guess you would say :-).

@Pothead: For the most part yeah, it's just how they address me and talk to me. Mind you, not being disrespectful or rude. Foul language, yes... not a fan. I know, not a big deal, more of just a peeve of mine.

Posted by RaeofSun
@arietteheart: "My name is Rae, fool" HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a good one :-) Yeah, it isn't a big deal, just a little something I thought I'd throw out there to see if there were any suggestions to remedy :-)

@ Montgomery: I do when we go out, dinner or to happy hour. If we are just at someone's house, I'll wear flip flops, jeans, a cute top, makeup (no red lips though, just lip gloss) , earrings and perfume. My hair is always fixed though, curly or straight. I make an effort to look like a girl I guess you would say :-).

Yeah, that's what I was wondering-- you're really pretty-- can't imagine that they would actually mistake you for a dude, lol.

So I figured maybe you were downplaying it, or something.

It's not so bad being one of the guys, though-- means you probably aren't too high maintenance.

I had a Leeb friend like that, and she got her man, eventually.

Oh, and this-- definitely;

"My name is Rae, fool"

lol You must. 😉

@PotHead: The language thing isn't just specific to the guys, my mom and sister have trucker mouths too :-) I think my sister took after my mom in that sense, and I turned away from it.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by RaeofSun
@arietteheart: "My name is Rae, fool" HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! That's a good one :-) Yeah, it isn't a big deal, just a little something I thought I'd throw out there to see if there were any suggestions to remedy :-)

@ Montgomery: I do when we go out, dinner or to happy hour. If we are just at someone's house, I'll wear flip flops, jeans, a cute top, makeup (no red lips though, just lip gloss) , earrings and perfume. My hair is always fixed though, curly or straight. I make an effort to look like a girl I guess you would say :-).

Yeah, that's what I was wondering-- you're really pretty-- can't imagine that they would actually mistake you for a dude, lol.

So I figured maybe you were downplaying it, or something.

It's not so bad being one of the guys, though-- means you probably aren't too high maintenance.

I had a Leeb friend like that, and she got her man, eventually.

Oh, and this-- definitely;

"My name is Rae, fool"

lol You must. 😉

click to expand

Why thank you kind sir. I suppose I can look at the bright side and take it as a compliment as well, that they feel that comfortable around me, but you know, sometimes it's nice to just omit the fools and homies. I do tell them to think of it as one less word they have to say or text :-) I guess I was just more curious if it was something in my behavior that I should stop doing or start doing. Perhaps I should just prance around in some lingerie one of these days.... hahaha!

Posted by RaeofSun
Why thank you kind sir. I suppose I can look at the bright side and take it as a compliment as well, that they feel that comfortable around me, but you know, sometimes it's nice to just omit the fools and homies. I do tell them to think of it as one less word they have to say or text :-) I guess I was just more curious if it was something in my behavior that I should stop doing or start doing. Perhaps I should just prance around in some lingerie one of these days.... hahaha!

Ha!

Tell us how that works out, if you do.

Oh-- and I'm not a dude, either, but you're totally welcome. 😉

robyn you so silly and dense

Posted by robyn808
I don't understand this thread. Prance around in lingerie? in front of your homies? why the fuck would you want to do something like that? Do you really understand what it is you want? Do you want to date one of them?

At his point your an equal not an object. You wanted to be treated differently, because they have some other motive? dear lord!

@Robyn808: I was being sarcastic... it is a joke, I would never do that.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by RaeofSun
Why thank you kind sir. I suppose I can look at the bright side and take it as a compliment as well, that they feel that comfortable around me, but you know, sometimes it's nice to just omit the fools and homies. I do tell them to think of it as one less word they have to say or text :-) I guess I was just more curious if it was something in my behavior that I should stop doing or start doing. Perhaps I should just prance around in some lingerie one of these days.... hahaha!

Ha!

Tell us how that works out, if you do.

Oh-- and I'm not a dude, either, but you're totally welcome. 😉

click to expand

Ahhh... you're a lady :-)

@ HouseCleaning: I'm glad you got my sense of humor :-)

yeah... you are coming across as though being one of the guys is your "in".

when all they are doing is using male terms of endearment.

it isn't like they are calling you a cum dumpster or something.... I'm lost

@ Robyn808: No, I don't want attention, I'm actually not a huge fan of it, it makes me nervous and embarrassed. I made that joke to put emphasis on my guy friends not treating me like a guy in regards to how they address me or speak to me. By my making that joke, I'm suggesting that because I am like one of the guys, they may view me as a guy, and that perhaps they need a reminder to the fact that I am a woman. It was definitely an extreme example, but nonetheless, a joke.

@deezie: Yes, you bring up a very good point. It's just me being a girl that their terms of endearment can irk me sometimes, but yes... I will remember this the next time their terms of endearment are being used.

@deezie: I mentioned a few times in this thread that it wasn't a big deal. It was just something little that I'd thought I would bring up to see if there was a remedy to my peeve :-) A topic of conversation if you will.

they know you are a woman... but more so you are their buddy. there need not be gender definition in such relationships. you could be a gargoyle and they would still call you these terms... because the emphasis is on friendship and common interests... not body parts.

@ Robyn808: Hahah! Definitely not how I want to be viewed as by my friends, but totally funny :-)

Posted by deezie
they know you are a woman... but more so you are their buddy. there need not be gender definition in such relationships. you could be a gargoyle and they would still call you these terms... because the emphasis is on friendship and common interests... not body parts.

Well said deezie, I stand corrected with my peeve :-)

i did raeofsun, i did. i will save my pat on the back for later. i also learn today robyn's idea of dating is in her undie pants

just enjoy the football game and throw that shit right back at them lol. that is half the fun of hanging out with guys!

Posted by deezie
they know you are a woman... but more so you are their buddy. there need not be gender definition in such relationships. you could be a gargoyle and they would still call you these terms... because the emphasis is on friendship and common interests... not body parts.

yeah... not good if you are an attractive woman. i mean attractive in men's eyes (cause beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?) They (men) aren't the same, unless they are GAY men, and they want nothing to do with you romantically. Sorry but in the real world, it just doesn't really happen that they want to just hang out and be "friends".
i dunno, i never really saw it otherwise. Guys aren't really buddy buddy types with girls unless they are gay from my experience. There's always always an "incentive". I didnt realise that a little later in life.

^^^ so I guess the previous isn't so spot on anymore.

fair enough

but I am fairly certain poisson is gorgeous. her guy friends are straight to her knowledge. so... I guess i am missing how there is an impossibility for staright men to hang out with pretty women.. without an ulterior motive. maybe they all have girlfriends or wives? maybe they aren't attracted to brunettes and only blondes? it is too limitless in my opinion... to say it is a or b. and the rest of the alphabet is not an option.

maybe I'm being too fishy.

Posted by deezie

I guess i am missing how there is an impossibility for staright men to hang out with pretty women.. without an ulterior motive. maybe they all have girlfriends or wives? maybe they aren't attracted to brunettes and only blondes?

Sometimes it is so simple that you value the friendship. I have some very nice looking female friends. Sure, there might be that tension, but both of us know that taking something beyond that point would ruin what we have. You just know that the possibility is there but don't even think about it.

Posted by deezie
fair enough

but I am fairly certain poisson is gorgeous. her guy friends are straight to her knowledge. so... I guess i am missing how there is an impossibility for staright men to hang out with pretty women.. without an ulterior motive. maybe they all have girlfriends or wives? maybe they aren't attracted to brunettes and only blondes? it is too limitless in my opinion... to say it is a or b. and the rest of the alphabet is not an option.

maybe I'm being too fishy.

i agree. MissFisk is very pretty. but she can be tomboy or feminine.

Posted by MissFisk
Right.
There are some truth to it, but I would hardly call it Gospel. Maybe I'm more the exception rather than the norm. And I've known these guys for years and most of them have both male and female friends, that's why I'm not suspicious of their intentions. You can usually sniff out the ones who are looking for more, because they will encroach on your personal space.

hmmm, that's true.