Guys Only: Sex Question

For the guys only: What do you think of girls who have sex on the first date?

Be honest, please. I'm asking this seriously.

Please state your sun, mars and venus as well as your age. I want to see if there are any correlations to your answers.

Posted by GetMisted
Secure with exploring their sexuality with someone they feel mental and sexual chemistry with.

Your age and placments?

It's really simple, actually.

If a girl wants to act like a crazy slut, then she's going to be treated like a crazy slut.

If a girl wants to act like a dignified human being, then she's going to be regarded as such.

Problem with women these days is that the sluttier a girl is, the more intense her mental problems are.

So the advantages of being a "NOT SLUT" are great.

1.) You don't end up acting like a crazy person.

2.) People respect you as a decent person.

The disadvantages of being a SLUT are also significant.

1.) You eventually develop some serious psychological problems.

2.) People do NOT respect you once your reputation gets out. Trust me, it will get out.

Stop being crazy sluts, sheesh.

Also, the "NOT SLUT" aka Good Girl types tend to end up with a fulfilling marriage.

The sluts, on the other hand, have a higher probability of ending up divorced and/or alone.

Someone posted statistics and data indicating that sluts tend to be the unhappiest of the two categories.

Not necessarily in all cases.

I am not saying all girls should be virgins until they get married, but at the same time, if a chick has had sex with 50 guys, it's NOT like a decent man with some self-respect and dignity is going to give her a 5,000 dollar engagement ring and 300,000 dollar house to live in.

Chicks can slut it up all they want, but it's stupid of them to think a decent man will consider them for a marriage and happiness if he knows she's nuts from her slut behavior.

you really need an answer to this?

Posted by GetMisted
No self respecting man would give any woman a house to live in. He would however share a house with her.

Fair enough, but the point is aren't good men supposed to help provide and care for the family?

Seriously, if we are talking the future (and I always think of the future above all), a woman should NOT be a slut if she wants to get married and have a family and home.

She's going to need to get a good man if she wants these kinds of things in her future... Marriage, home, family, etc...

If she acts like a slut, then she faces the increased probability that good men will not consider her for marriage.

In fact, men will consider her for one thing. And that one thing only.

Posted by GetMisted
There are good men who don't judge women for exploring their sexuality.

True, not all good men are the same.

But the ones who buy 5,000 dollar engagement rings at Tiffany's do have a screening process of their own.

Women should be respectable if they want that kind of thing.

Posted by HouseCleaning
you really need an answer to this?

yeah do you?

Posted by GetMisted

Women should be respectable if they want that kind of thing.

So you're saying that you can't lump sexuality and women into one single category?

click to expand

If chicks want respect and a 5K dollar ring from a good man, they better not be acting like sluts.

I cannot say it more simply.

I'd think they must be some out of this world amazing if I were to consent to sex on the first date! Depends, if she's pushing it maybe I'd think okay that's weird but that'll depend on me as well and how infatuated I am.

General observation of said girls that doesn't involve me and has sex on the first date? Nada I don't really think it takes away any part of who they are or what they embody perhaps just a choice they made.

Aqua and a whole lot of pisces 😛 you know the drill!

Is it really that hard to follow some simple directions?

Truecap keeping an open mind here... I'm not really sure. I think it would depend on the person and how well or not well I knew them before this first date.

Over all it's gonna raise questions like "Is this all you really want from me?"

Pisces moon
Venus and mars conjunct in Pisces

Posted by IrresistableScorp
Courting appears to be a lost art on the younger generation. Too bad because its exceptional. A little shyness and not expecting sex goes a long way people. 🙂

+1

I understand what ScorpFish is saying. All men wouldn't necessarily judge a woman he slept with on the 1st date, HOWEVER, I wouldn't start encouraging women to do so either!

There are plenty of women who are now married to a GOOD man, who can attest to the fact that they slept with him on the 1st date. There are plenty of women who are currently proving that philosophy/theory wrong, as we speak.

Plus, you have to take into consideration the mind set of the man BEFORE he goes on the 1st date. If his thinking is NOT commitment-oriented to begin with, then THIS type of guy is most likely to use the fact that she gave up the goodies on the 1st date as a strike against her. If he hasn't talked to her enough or had enough time to build up a high enough attraction to her BEFORE the 1st date, then ANYTHING she does that may seem out of the norm or out of the social "norm" may be used against her. If he grew an infatuation with her long before the 1st date, then he's less likely to hold it against her if she gives it up on the 1st date. If he's open-minded, has had great relationships in the past with girls he originally slept with on the 1st date, OR if he feels she put up a great fight before giving up the goodies, he most likely won't judge her for it.

So yes, giving it up too soon could count as a strike against her only IF she's dealing with a specific breed of man with a specific mindset. HUGE difference.

There is no "1 philosophy" fits all, here. There really is no right/wrong answer here b/c for every 10 men who would be turned off, there'd be another 10 who wouldn't feel any different about her

There's no doubt that some men won't knock a woman for giving it up on the 1st date

The problem is that some of these women who want to give into the lust they are feeling for a man in the moment usually can't emotionally afford to give it up if doing so means that the guy will lose respect for her. If you're the kind of woman who feels like sh**t, feels used & feels dumb after a guy disappears once you've given it up, then don't take the risk!

If the guy is really into you to begin with, you not giving it up on the 1st date won't make him lose respect for you lol

If you know that you'd feel like sh**t if you were to give it up & he bail on you afterwards, then don't take the risk! You have NOTHING to lose by holding out. There's no use in giving it up but then sitting on pens & needles at home, praying he doesn't judge you for it. If you're that worried, then just don't give it up. It's not rocket-science.

And if you're gonna give it up on the 1st date, own it & feel no shame about it! Don't do something that you already know you'll most likely regret if you don't get the results you want!

I appreciate everyone's honest opinions. I was curious to the male point of view on this.

As Virgo, I have to know the person I am going to bed with, this knowing will take sometimes.

But I won't judge the persons who are having sex on first date; it is simply what I call —diversities of animal attraction's energies??. Some people surrender to each other faster than the other, no one should feel the neither shame nor guilt when it happens??_ it happens in a blink of an eye and in throbbing moments.

It is LIFE??_!

Gemini moon and the rest of the mumbo-jumbos are in my profile page.

Posted by scorchedearth

Posted by truecap
I appreciate everyone's honest opinions. I was curious to the male point of view on this.

men aren't the only ones that have sex with women. 😉

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Haha well damn! Can't argue with that one lol

I wonder if women ever consider that even if she does everything "right," he still may not want to be with her long term. He still may find a reason to disqualify her. What 1 guy may love/respect about you, another guy may not be impressed. Just do what the hell you want! If it feels right, go for it! Plenty of women are married and/or in relationships with the men they slept with on the 1st date! Yeah if you sleep with a man too early you're taking the risk of potentially losing him, but hell there's a lot of things that a woman can do to lose his interest! And instead of trying to portray yourself as "perfect," just be your F'ing self & assume that the right guy won't mind it!

DAMN!

It would have been nice for this question to specify whether the man answering this question also had sex on the first date or if they would be judging someone they don't know.

I don't see how men can claim that 'she's no good' when they also had sex on the first date. Well in that opinion, neither of you are good! So all those men who talk about a girl giving it up on the first date being sluts and not good women...well I hope they themselves don't have sex on the first date!

Posted by Synapse

Posted by Scenic
It would have been nice for this question to specify whether the man answering this question also had sex on the first date or if they would be judging someone they don't know.

I don't see how men can claim that 'she's no good' when they also had sex on the first date. Well in that opinion, neither of you are good! So all those men who talk about a girl giving it up on the first date being sluts and not good women...well I hope they themselves don't have sex on the first date!

PFFFT, DON'T WORRY. I DON'T.

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OKAY GOOD IM GLAD YOU VERBALIZED THAT

How about we twist it around? What about men who put out asap? What about the ones who sleep with women at the drop of a hat? What exactly is thought of those individuals?

Double standards in this area are bullshit.

I don't really care either way. Then again I will probably not have sex with them until a know them a little bit better. I have a tendency to become friends with girls first and talk to them before going on a date but if the attraction is there, then why not?
I will chase but the initiative lies with her and it's her decision in the end. If I feel she isn't comfortable with it then I will gladly just spend an evening talking.

I've become really good friends with some one night stands so in that sense I am probably not your typical guy. 😛
Even been accused of being more like a woman in that regard than some of them. 😆

Cap Sun
Aries Mars
Sag Venus
26

Women are giving much more than sex too early. They're giving their ALL before the 2nd date! lol

Time..emotions..100% availability...her body...letting him meet her kids..his picture as her screen saver before the 3rd date lol

Too much ladies, too much!

Posted by Scenic
It would have been nice for this question to specify whether the man answering this question also had sex on the first date or if they would be judging someone they don't know.

I don't see how men can claim that 'she's no good' when they also had sex on the first date. Well in that opinion, neither of you are good! So all those men who talk about a girl giving it up on the first date being sluts and not good women...well I hope they themselves don't have sex on the first date!

Oh, it's a double standard we're just going to have to deal with.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
How about we twist it around? What about men who put out asap? What about the ones who sleep with women at the drop of a hat? What exactly is thought of those individuals?

Double standards in this area are bullshit.

I think ewwwwww! Don't touch me! lol!

I know you said guys only ... and I've only read the Opening Post ...

I do want to say something though .....

I fucked on first date with my husband of over 30 years !!!

Posted by P-Angel

I know you said guys only ... and I've only read the Opening Post ...

I do want to say something though .....

I fucked on first date with my husband of over 30 years !!!

+100000

Love the honesty!

Myself, I could NOT wait to get into my husband's pants, and I could defintely tell he couldnt wait to get into mine.

Rated PG-13

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by krysrenee7
Women are giving much more than sex too early. They're giving their ALL before the 2nd date! lol

Time..emotions..100% availability...her body...letting him meet her kids..his picture as her screen saver before the 3rd date lol

Too much ladies, too much!

No doubt.

This reminds me of those "the bachelor" shows.

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Those are the dumbest shows ever!!!

I fucked my ex on the first date, stayed togethsr for 3 years

Posted by truecap

Posted by Scenic
It would have been nice for this question to specify whether the man answering this question also had sex on the first date or if they would be judging someone they don't know.

I don't see how men can claim that 'she's no good' when they also had sex on the first date. Well in that opinion, neither of you are good! So all those men who talk about a girl giving it up on the first date being sluts and not good women...well I hope they themselves don't have sex on the first date!

Oh, it's a double standard we're just going to have to deal with.

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Is that your opinion on this? This is a typical response from a women who has been socialized to be passive. Nothing will change if you just 'deal' with everything you think you can't change. To hell if I'm going to deal with it. I'm going to call every man out for his bs and make him argue his point in a way that makes him prove it's fairness. If he can't, then he's just another sexist man the changing world will soon slim out.

Posted by krysrenee7
Women are giving much more than sex too early. They're giving their ALL before the 2nd date! lol

Time..emotions..100% availability...her body...letting him meet her kids..his picture as her screen saver before the 3rd date lol

Too much ladies, too much!

Nah, we all know where you stand on this subject since you think chicks who want to have sex on the first date are sluts. Your "facts" strike me as a bit biased.

It sucks that in our society that women who want to have sex and enjoy it like men do have to worry about a stigma if they put out asap. In turn, they have a lot more to lose if they do.

So, sadly, if you really like the guy and want to keep him around, you have to practice control and not do it. But men get no flack or stigmas for being the promiscuous "sluts" they tend to be and what society encourages to be a "real" man.

Again, the double standards are bullshit. Women like you perpetuate them, which is sad considering that you come off as so pro female, yet some of your views are quite archaic.

Posted by Scenic
It would have been nice for this question to specify whether the man answering this question also had sex on the first date or if they would be judging someone they don't know.

I don't see how men can claim that 'she's no good' when they also had sex on the first date. Well in that opinion, neither of you are good! So all those men who talk about a girl giving it up on the first date being sluts and not good women...well I hope they themselves don't have sex on the first date!

Agreed. This was brought up in another thread and recently, I've heard some interesting things said by guys who capitalize on the women who decide to put out. It's ridiculous that guys will sit there and think/speak badly of a girl that gave THEM the goods. It makes them no better when they took it to begin with. They just look like sad, hypocritical fuckers, tbh. They also fall in line with sexual predators too.

Posted by Undine
Take it easy, Scenic

I sounded harsh I suppose but not out of ill feelings towards anyone I've responded to. My opinions on some things are unnecessarily forward some times.

Honestly, most of the logic behind the whole double standard thing lacks reason. In the end, it's just letting society win, not the individual. There's just no logical reason that guys can say 'if I do it it's okay but not for girls' besides using society's view, which is illogical as a reason.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by krysrenee7
Women are giving much more than sex too early. They're giving their ALL before the 2nd date! lol

Time..emotions..100% availability...her body...letting him meet her kids..his picture as her screen saver before the 3rd date lol

Too much ladies, too much!

Nah, we all know where you stand on this subject since you think chicks who want to have sex on the first date are sluts. Your "facts" strike me as a bit biased.

It sucks that in our society that women who want to have sex and enjoy it like men do have to worry about a stigma if they put out asap. In turn, they have a lot more to lose if they do.

So, sadly, if you really like the guy and want to keep him around, you have to practice control and not do it. But men get no flack or stigmas for being the promiscuous "sluts" they tend to be and what society encourages to be a "real" man.

Again, the double standards are bullshit. Women like you perpetuate them, which is sad considering that you come off as so pro female, yet some of your views are quite archaic.

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damn agreed

Posted by ScorpioFish
Chicks can slut it up all they want, but it's stupid of them to think a decent man will consider them for a marriage and happiness if he knows she's nuts from her slut behavior.

if you met me, id change your mind 🙂

Posted by ScorpioFish
Not necessarily in all cases.

I am not saying all girls should be virgins until they get married, but at the same time, if a chick has had sex with 50 guys, it's NOT like a decent man with some self-respect and dignity is going to give her a 5,000 dollar engagement ring and 300,000 dollar house to live in.

damn right, a girl who knows how to handle a dick needs a $ 1,000,000 ring. $ 5k is for novices.

Seriously speaking, 50 guys 100 who cares. If he cant handle it, thats his insecurity speaking. We all are worth something to someone.

how can you determine another persons worth to someone else?

Posted by GetMisted
No self respecting man would give any woman a house to live in. He would however share a house with her.

good answer

Posted by krysrenee7
I understand what ScorpFish is saying. All men wouldn't necessarily judge a woman he slept with on the 1st date, HOWEVER, I wouldn't start encouraging women to do so either!

There are plenty of women who are now married to a GOOD man, who can attest to the fact that they slept with him on the 1st date. There are plenty of women who are currently proving that philosophy/theory wrong, as we speak.

Plus, you have to take into consideration the mind set of the man BEFORE he goes on the 1st date. If his thinking is NOT commitment-oriented to begin with, then THIS type of guy is most likely to use the fact that she gave up the goodies on the 1st date as a strike against her. If he hasn't talked to her enough or had enough time to build up a high enough attraction to her BEFORE the 1st date, then ANYTHING she does that may seem out of the norm or out of the social "norm" may be used against her. If he grew an infatuation with her long before the 1st date, then he's less likely to hold it against her if she gives it up on the 1st date. If he's open-minded, has had great relationships in the past with girls he originally slept with on the 1st date, OR if he feels she put up a great fight before giving up the goodies, he most likely won't judge her for it.

So yes, giving it up too soon could count as a strike against her only IF she's dealing with a specific breed of man with a specific mindset. HUGE difference.

There is no "1 philosophy" fits all, here. There really is no right/wrong answer here b/c for every 10 men who would be turned off, there'd be another 10 who wouldn't feel any different about her

how can you write this after the blogs youve written?

Posted by krysrenee7
There's no doubt that some men won't knock a woman for giving it up on the 1st date

The problem is that some of these women who want to give into the lust they are feeling for a man in the moment usually can't emotionally afford to give it up if doing so means that the guy will lose respect for her. If you're the kind of woman who feels like sh**t, feels used & feels dumb after a guy disappears once you've given it up, then don't take the risk!

If the guy is really into you to begin with, you not giving it up on the 1st date won't make him lose respect for you lol

If you know that you'd feel like sh**t if you were to give it up & he bail on you afterwards, then don't take the risk! You have NOTHING to lose by holding out. There's no use in giving it up but then sitting on pens & needles at home, praying he doesn't judge you for it. If you're that worried, then just don't give it up. It's not rocket-science.

And if you're gonna give it up on the 1st date, own it & feel no shame about it! Don't do something that you already know you'll most likely regret if you don't get the results you want!

this 2, how can you write this given the blogs you previously posted?

Posted by krysrenee7
Women are giving much more than sex too early. They're giving their ALL before the 2nd date! lol

Time..emotions..100% availability...her body...letting him meet her kids..his picture as her screen saver before the 3rd date lol

Too much ladies, too much!

dudes cuff mad quickly 2. Some are just introverts about it. You wont always see a screensaver, 15 consecutive phone calls.

Props too either for not following the status quos timetable for getting to know each other.

Posted by DMV

Posted by ScorpioFish
Not necessarily in all cases.
I am not saying all girls should be virgins until they get married, but at the same time, if a chick has had sex with 50 guys, it's NOT like a decent man with some self-respect and dignity is going to give her a 5,000 dollar engagement ring and 300,000 dollar house to live in.

damn right, a girl who knows how to handle a dick needs a $ 1,000,000 ring. $ 5k is for novices.
Seriously speaking, 50 guys 100 who cares. If he cant handle it, thats his insecurity speaking. We all are worth something to someone.
how can you determine another persons worth to someone else?

Lol. love the responses. Made me smile =D

Posted by Undine
Take it easy, Scenic. Men condemning women for having sex on a first date most likely avoid it, because they feel insecure. There are men who simply can't have sex on a first date. Like my former f-buddy, who insisted to wine and dine me for three dates before he booked a hotel.
What surprises me is that some ladies here didn't wait till the third date, though * giggles*. It makes me wonder if I should actually shag the guy I'm meeting this week for the first time. I don't think I will pursue this relationship much further anyway. He has unpractical, idealized ideas about love and is too aloof for my taste, but hey, he's an Aqua and looks just like my ex, so I may treat myself. Hopefully he's good in bed, or at least likes experimental sex.
Shhh......talking about the wolf.....He just phoned me unexpectedly, so I asked his opinion about sex on a first date.......Apparently, he plays by his ear 🙂.

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Lol. —

Posted by Arielle83
When I was single and working two jobs and uni I would have sex on the first date if I felt a sexual pull I wanted to explore; however, I saw no point in continuing the relationship because I got what I wanted and it was easy.

Some women have sex because they love to fuck, but have no time for anything more than that. We do have needs as well and some of us get bored of clitoral orgasms.

Agreed. Men are the same way. They stick to their ambitions and when they want some nookie, they go out n get it and itsback to their ambitions.

Are women not capable of the same line of thought?

Why cant women be better to each other?

Posted by TigerCap
I don't really care either way. Then again I will probably not have sex with them until a know them a little bit better. I have a tendency to become friends with girls first and talk to them before going on a date but if the attraction is there, then why not?
I will chase but the initiative lies with her and it's her decision in the end. If I feel she isn't comfortable with it then I will gladly just spend an evening talking.

I've become really good friends with some one night stands so in that sense I am probably not your typical guy. 😛
Even been accused of being more like a woman in that regard than some of them. 😆

Cap Sun
Aries Mars
Sag Venus
26

spoken like a true venus in sag. Love u guys

Posted by P-Angel

I know you said guys only ... and I've only read the Opening Post ...

I do want to say something though .....

I fucked on first date with my husband of over 30 years !!!

I wont even call you an exception to the rule because that would be condescending and dammit there aint no rule tobe the exception to.

Posted by Scenic
It would have been nice for this question to specify whether the man answering this question also had sex on the first date or if they would be judging someone they don't know.

I don't see how men can claim that 'she's no good' when they also had sex on the first date. Well in that opinion, neither of you are good! So all those men who talk about a girl giving it up on the first date being sluts and not good women...well I hope they themselves don't have sex on the first date!

un huh +1

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by krysrenee7
Women are giving much more than sex too early. They're giving their ALL before the 2nd date! lol

Time..emotions..100% availability...her body...letting him meet her kids..his picture as her screen saver before the 3rd date lol

Too much ladies, too much!

Nah, we all know where you stand on this subject since you think chicks who want to have sex on the first date are sluts. Your "facts" strike me as a bit biased.

It sucks that in our society that women who want to have sex and enjoy it like men do have to worry about a stigma if they put out asap. In turn, they have a lot more to lose if they do.

So, sadly, if you really like the guy and want to keep him around, you have to practice control and not do it. But men get no flack or stigmas for being the promiscuous "sluts" they tend to be and what society encourages to be a "real" man.

Again, the double standards are bullshit. Women like you perpetuate them, which is sad considering that you come off as so pro female, yet some of your views are quite archaic.

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Don't blame ME for that double standard! lol

Yes, I think women often have more to lose by giving it up too soon than not. I don't sit around & pretend like damn near all of these threads from these women on this site are from women who gave up SOMETHING too soon. I notice it. You notice it. Sometimes the solution is simple: Don't give up something that you can't afford to lose someone over. If you're not ready to have sex or if you fear that it might change his perception of you (which a guy would absolutely have the RIGHT to feel differently), then don't take the risk!

But I've also been the 1st 1 to say that men need to keep it in their pants too! Don't conveinantly leave out all of the OTHER things I've said about this matter b/c leaving it out fits your argument!

I didn't create these double standards! I call them out every time! My thread on sluts was actually targeted towards the men who judge the very women they lay down with! You read that part too, but are pretending like you didn't.

Well YOU guys are the ones saying that woman who sleeps with a man on the same night is a "slut." I NEVER said that lol

All I'm saying is that the reality is that some men will absolutely be turned off if a woman is willing to give it up on the 1st night. However, there are just as many men who wouldn't mind. Neither are in the wrong!

I don't think a woman is a slut if she has sex on the 1st date. My definition of "slut" is more about the # of sexual partners she has & the low self-esteem behind why she keeps giving it up & coming out of it with nothing. I never said that the women who give it up on the 1st date have low self esteem, nor am I assuming that the women who do this have had multiple sex partners. YOU guys put those words in my mouth, not me!

I don't agree with women having sex too soon b/c I don't believe in always giving into lust just b/c you're horny. Isn't that what we always tell the men who can't keep it in their pants?! Women need to be told the same things too! It's ok to scream this advice at a man but the minute someone tells a woman to keep her panties on herself, all of the sudden it's a "bad" thing?!

Posted by DMV

Posted by TigerCap
I don't really care either way. Then again I will probably not have sex with them until a know them a little bit better. I have a tendency to become friends with girls first and talk to them before going on a date but if the attraction is there, then why not?
I will chase but the initiative lies with her and it's her decision in the end. If I feel she isn't comfortable with it then I will gladly just spend an evening talking.

I've become really good friends with some one night stands so in that sense I am probably not your typical guy. 😛
Even been accused of being more like a woman in that regard than some of them. 😆

Cap Sun
Aries Mars
Sag Venus
26

spoken like a true venus in sag. Love u guys

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LOL. Most can't handle that though. Confuses the heck out of them. 😆

By the way, I can't help but feel like we have a 'old-morals' VS. 'New-morals' standoff here.
(Wouldn't dare to point out the *ahum* more mature ladies around here seeming to have more conservative opinions. 😛)
This could of course also be a difference in experience though. Those who tried found men to lose interest exactly because they had sex first.

Who cares what someone else thinks of you? Especially if those other people are some backwards small-minded people that still think a woman should be married and pregnant by the time she turns 20. *shudders*

It's a really good time to live right now if you want to try different things to find out what works best for you.
Two female colleagues of mine are romantically involved even though one of them has an open relationship with her boyfriend. A good friend of mine tells me whenever she picked up a guy from the club and how excited and disappointed she is if he doesn't 'bring it' as she calls it. Or another one with the boyfriend who is 3 years younger than she is.

They have exactly the same problems and worries as the ones who follow a more 'traditional' path.
And they are all happy with their lives.

So don't you dare give me that crap that because a girl has sex on the first date, she must be psycho, a slut and completely paralyzed by fear of a normal relationship.
The numerous threads in all forums here show us that this happens even with the 'normal ones'.
/Endrant

Posted by Arietteheart

Women like you perpetuate them, which is sad considering that you come off as so pro female, yet some of your views are quite archaic.

rocky, are you sure you meant her as being pro-female? Search "sluts" and see how many of her threads come up

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The advice she gives seems pro female (don't put up with bs from guys, etc), but then she turns around and shows that she really isn't when she makes such comments about how women are sluts when they do such things- perpetuating old, social constructs that still exist because of outdated thinking.