PLaying Games with Love

I am watching one of my favorite movies, "The Breakup". To me, this movie is hilarious and sad for some reason.

It's hilarious because I love Vince Vaughn's humor most of the time, and sad because him and Jennifer Ainsiston (sp) clearly were in love with one another but played games until there was nothing left....

Why do people play these games....?

Posted by geminicandle
I haven't seen the movie, so I don't know...
Why all the games? Good question. What kind of games did he/she play?

I love Vince! I should def.see this movie.

And it's Aniston—

Long story short, Jennifer felt like Vince did not appreciate her so she broke up with him, got a brazilian wax (which she should have already been doing) and dated other men in front of him in hopes of making him jealous, realize the errors of his ways, and shape up and fly right. It didnt work out. By the end of the movie, she was tired of trying and by the time he got the hint, she was done. First world problems, I know. Lol.

But I know a lot of men and women who play these games. Instead, of just being mature, stepping up to the plate and communicating how they feel. They would prefer the whole "Act Like a A Lady and Think LIke a Man" way of doing things, which almost always ends up disastrously. I suppose the trick to a woman playing the hard to get routine, is not playing hard to get; BEING hard to get.

You should definitely see the movie. Its a really good little movie and thank you for the spelling correction. Vince is hilarious.

Posted by Jynja
People are just not ready to settle down yet. Simple.

The gamer playing the gamee or both gamers playing each other are just not ready yet.

Truth.

Posted by Poisson
It's also a power play. Control and who gets to steer the relationship in the direction they want.

....and after the manipulation and control games have ended, then what?

Lack of trust, and honesty

Posted by Wynter
Lack of trust, and honesty

Very true.....

Posted by geminicandle
Thanks for the explanation, Natural🙂
I will see the movie at first chance I get.


I think Jynja is onto something with "not ready ". People can be not ready due to various reasons. I know it's kinda silly reason to play games, but I've done it. At least subconsciously...

And sometimes out of insecurity and fear of attachment, due to previous issues. We all have issues you know ;attacment in childhood, previous relationships baggage, where we are in life, how we feel about ourselves, needs vs.wants, etc ...

You're welcome!

Not being ready makes perfect sense. We all have so many issues and various types of baggage we bring into relationships. Some, can be managed and other types of baggage result in the end of the relationship. It's always interesting to watch people play games with each other. Its almost like a ferris wheel. Going around and around and no where at the same time.

Posted by geminicandle

Posted by natural25

Posted by Poisson
It's also a power play. Control and who gets to steer the relationship in the direction they want.

....and after the manipulation and control games have ende
d, then what?

They either lost me or I lost them.
Games have never worked for me, long term.

I guess for the sake of fun, little playing is okay though.

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Yup... They have never worked for me either. Lol.

Posted by chopstickcharmer

I suppose the trick to a woman playing the hard to get routine, is not playing hard to get; BEING hard to get.

...then u just have a difficult bitch lulz! 😈

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Its better to be a REAL difficult bitch than someone pretending to be one. LOL.

Posted by Poisson

Posted by geminicandle

Posted by natural25

Posted by Poisson
It's also a power play. Control and who gets to steer the relationship in the direction they want.

....and after the manipulation and control games have ende
d, then what?

They either lost me or I lost them....

Yep. Some people need that in their relationships though. It keeps their minds occupied and give the relationship a sense of "excitement" and themselves a sense of security.

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Agree. Its funny how we sometimes can get in the way of ourselves.

Too much excitement in a relationship makes me nervous, in terms of stability. I value consistency and stability.

Insecurity, communication, trust, and commitment issues?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Insecurity, communication, trust, and commitment issues?

I think commitment issues and lack of trust/insecurities are the largest contributors to this.

Sun: Scorpio
Moon: Libra

Posted by natural25

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Insecurity, communication, trust, and commitment issues?

I think commitment issues and lack of trust/insecurities are the largest contributors to this.

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Never underestimate the first two, they could kill any possible worthwhile relationship.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by natural25

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Insecurity, communication, trust, and commitment issues?

I think commitment issues and lack of trust/insecurities are the largest contributors to this.

Never underestimate the first two, they could kill any possible worthwhile relationship.

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Oh trust me, I know! Lack of communication murdered my relationship with my ex. We didn't have problems with playing games but he definitely had issues with commitment as far as being open and being insecure. Communication suffered as a consequence.

Posted by chopstickcharmer

Posted by natural25

Posted by chopstickcharmer

I suppose the trick to a woman playing the hard to get routine, is not playing hard to get; BEING hard to get.

...then u just have a difficult bitch lulz! 😈

Its better to be a REAL difficult bitch than someone pretending to be one. LOL.

lulz! 😛

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😉

Posted by geminicandle
Relationships are too much work.

Is it wrong to stay single forever?>.>

They are! Yes, being single forever might be the smarter alternative. Lol. Unfortunately for me, I blindly want to get married have a family. LOL!!

Posted by Stuckinpurgatory
I've felt that I could be alone forever for a long time in my life. It's much safer to be anyways for than a few reasons. The pain from love cannot be healed because it turns into a scar. You will always remember how it felt..

Well damn!

Time heals... Although, I have had some bad experiences, I still am a hopeless romantic. It doesn't have to work out with every man I date, just the ONE right man. 🙂

Posted by tiziani
The Breakup was a brilliant film. Might watch it again this week.

Some of the scenes at the beginning are straight awkward/painful because it makes you wince realizing you've done that shit too.

I know right!! LOVE it. The end kills me. 😢

Posted by tiziani

Posted by natural25

Posted by tiziani
The Breakup was a brilliant film. Might watch it again this week.

Some of the scenes at the beginning are straight awkward/painful because it makes you wince realizing you've done that shit too.

I know right!! LOVE it. The end kills me. 😢

There are two different endings right? Or maybe just one. I heard they had an ending that was the before-last scene where they just call it complete quits. And in pre-screening that scored low on the tests since people never like that kind of thing.

So they tacked on the actual final scene (the only one I know of that I saw on DVD) where they meet at a shop a year later and leave it open ended....

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I have only seen the ending where they see each other a year later. But I still didn't like that ending because I wanted them to reconcile. Lol.

Posted by Stuckinpurgatory
I've felt that I could be alone forever for a long time in my life. It's much safer to be anyways for than a few reasons. The pain from love cannot be healed because it turns into a scar. You will always remember how it felt..

Better to have loved, and be loved, than to never having loved at all.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Stuckinpurgatory
I've felt that I could be alone forever for a long time in my life. It's much safer to be anyways for than a few reasons. The pain from love cannot be healed because it turns into a scar. You will always remember how it felt..

Better to have loved, and be loved, than to never having loved at all.

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Pains and tribulations are merely a part of life, without them we will never see nor appreciate the good in which we have.

*shrugs*

Sometimes there are reasons the way things turn out the way they do, to lose something, anything, is also another component of life, holding on to something until one but suffocates it, or after it has but died, leaves nothing in its presence but withered souls.

To each their own dear.

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by Stuckinpurgatory
What's the purpose in having something beautiful if it's going to be taken away? How about don't give me something beautiful then, and let me go through life and get what I am supposed to have. Makes more sense to me. Having something beautiful and then losing it doesn't help anything. It causes unnecessary pain and for most people it makes them have baggage.

People come into your life for a reason or a season. I understand your sentiment though. I'm a total romantic, but I feel like I am more open hearted now in my thirties than I was in my twenties. That's too bad actually. Take advantage of your youth and find out what you want in a relationship. There will be some scars, but there will also be some good moments that you will look back on.

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+ 1

Not every single love is meant to stay and in one lifetime we will experience many different loves, each bringing and adding more unto our complex journey as it were. Scars tell a million stories, they make up who we are, it means we have but battled and survived wars, only to come out as we are, closer to a whole.

Posted by Stuckinpurgatory
If you've had true love, you know it's not something you're supposed to just learn from and move on. I'm sure you will all one day experience what I am talking about. I know what love is, being in love, and what true love is.

No love in which you have experienced or I have experienced could be compared and said that one is greater than the other, or truer than the other. It is a matter of choice upon how one deals with it, the lose that is. People will lose true love, there is no commandment that states it will always be yours, forever, there exists a world outside of one singular emotion, that may bring it to fulfillment or otherwise .

Posted by ninjutsu
What the hell is 'true' love anyway

Ay, I sit in this boat with you dear Mermaid. Love is love, it can not and should not be measured but experienced 🙂

Posted by ninjutsu
Clingy or indifference... Uh, I'd prefer not to have to choose either one 😛

+ 1

It spells a red alert, for me to pull my boats out of there...and fast 😛

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by ninjutsu

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ninjutsu
Clingy or indifference... Uh, I'd prefer not to have to choose either one 😛

+ 1

It spells a red alert, for me to pull my boats out of there...and fast 😛

Hahah yeah neither are terribly appealing

Tell me about it. I just want to meet a well adjusted man able to form healthy attachments. But I am attracted to intensity.

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Have you figured out why exactly you are attracted to this intensity? What is it from within you which makes their draw appealing, when to others it may only be seen as a red alert or highly unhealthy.

Posted by ninjutsu
It sucks because I love so much about the cancer moon until it gets psycho

CrabMoons are glorious until you better their other side. Dr Jekyll and Hyde for certain.

PVAF - Oh, I was not asking in regards to Astrology, more of what is it within you that makes the draw. Sometimes we need to know what core root 'issues' we may or may not have, which drives us to certain attractions, only by doing so are we able to decipher or change our ways for the better, making our search more efficient, without unnecessary efforts/time wasted on individuals that were highly incompatible to us in the first place.

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
PVAF - Oh, I was not asking in regards to Astrology, more of what is it within you that makes the draw. Sometimes we need to know what core root 'issues' we may or may not have, which drives us to certain attractions, only by doing so are we able to decipher or change our ways for the better, making our search more efficient, without unnecessary efforts/time wasted on individuals that were highly incompatible to us in the first place.

Oh I see. Well I am not a person that gets attached easily. So it is almost like if the other person isn't that in to me the relationship doesn't go any where. But if I feel the other person is really into me I can let my guard down without fear of becoming emotionally invested in vain. I've gotten my feelings hurt before, so I guess I like to be sure that the other party is as interested as I am.

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Do you equate clinginess to a show of love? Would you say your past experiences, the memory of the pain and hurt, has in fact caused a fear within you, that the only way you would feel secure in love is when the other person overcompensates (ie. being extremely possessive or intense)?

Not an attack, merely throwing questions out there in which you may perhaps find useful, to ponder upon 🙂

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by ninjutsu

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by ninjutsu
Oh sorry I missed the 'loyal' bit. Yeah loyal is nice... I don't know if I would want loyal if I had to pay with the rest of that stuff though.

I'm very tolerant. haha. My twin sisters are Capricorn/Scorpio moons. They call me everyday. One is very attached. I had to literally break her out of being so needy towards me, she needed me around all the time. She still calls me two or three times a day. And if I don't answer she freaks out, worries something has happened to me. By the way, I'm the younger sister. o_O I've been told that it's my calmness that they are attracted to, and that I am very easy to talk to as well. I'm glad for that, but I don't want to keep attracting needy people either. Hell I want someone to be my rock too ya know.

Yeah before I got to the end of your paragraph I was thinking it had to be the sense of peacefulness you emanate that grounds them, and you are also very easy to talk to 🙂 You had a rock in the taurus even if it was clingy 😛 Can't get much more rocklike than those bulls

Yeah I think I fracked that one up. 😢 Right guy, wrong time. I hope he is happy now with someone else. He deserved better.

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Always another sunrise awaiting on the horizon, sometimes we may have to stop looking in order for the things we would want, to arrive on their own accord 🙂

Posted by tiziani

Posted by ninjutsu
Aww Pisc, whoever you end up with will be pretty fortunate as far as I can see, you're definitely a cool chick and I haven't seen any sort of psycho come out of you yet even though you're on dxp, which says a whole lot..

Yeah it does... what's wrong with you PVA?

You don't like the taste of the water we serve around here? It's impolite to turn down the hors d'oeuvres you know!

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LOL

The water has been but spike, Ritalin?

PVAF - Do not wait, never wait for love, keep moving, life calls!

Posted by tiziani

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by tiziani

Posted by ninjutsu
Aww Pisc, whoever you end up with will be pretty fortunate as far as I can see, you're definitely a cool chick and I haven't seen any sort of psycho come out of you yet even though you're on dxp, which says a whole lot..

Yeah it does... what's wrong with you PVA?

You don't like the taste of the water we serve around here? It's impolite to turn down the hors d'oeuvres you know!

LOL

The water has been but spike, Ritalin?

I've never had any experiences with ritalin but my best friend is on that stuff half his life and it seems fitting to this place sometimes, yeah.

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This place could be equivalent to one whom suffers from ADHD, hence Ritalin. Do not use any of those drugs myself though, nor do I know anyone whom does...

Posted by ninjutsu
Oh lmao don't start on the dying eggs hahah

Oh dear, has this place truly dwindled down to that? *shakes my head*

Posted by ninjutsu
Yeah like apparently half our remaining eggs are like full retard now, Pisc, and a ton have died and are dying every minute... 😄

Who cares! As long as one could still have a great exercise session, you know, in and about 😄

Posted by ninjutsu

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by ninjutsu
Yeah like apparently half our remaining eggs are like full retard now, Pisc, and a ton have died and are dying every minute... 😄

Who cares! As long as one could still have a great exercise session, you know, in and about 😄

Yes! I don't mind if this little rite of passage passes me by... But then, I say that now. In three years I might go on some hormonal rampage.

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By then, to appease you one would have to hold up a puppy, a kitten and a baby!

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by ninjutsu

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by ninjutsu
Yeah like apparently half our remaining eggs are like full retard now, Pisc, and a ton have died and are dying every minute... 😄

Haha. Well I guess adoption is the only answer.

I think you're still good for a few more years 😉 I think you'd be a lovely mummy

I hope so.

@LadyScorpio. If I don't find love soon I am going to become the youngest cougar in all of America. 😈 I'm all for getting it in. 😉

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Them young gentlemen are all for cougars these days, they are in absolute demand 😈 You would not miss out for certain 🍹

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
Haha. I love you guys. Well I'm out to do some early morning shopping. I don't usually go out this early on a Sunday morning, but I'm supposed to be going to an afternoon Jazz concert. Jill Scott!! Yay!! I'll be back later. Keep the love going. 😉

Jill Scott! She is one hell of a performer, phenomenal. Lucky gal, enjoy your time 🙂

Slowing dying eggs, reality show about young cougars, getting it in!—!—!?!?!?!

THATS ME!!!!

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
LOL! It always comes back to those dying eggs. 😉 BTW I had a great day today at the Jazz festival. David Sanborn & Bob James got the night started. Followed by TGT(Tank, Ginuwine, and Tyrese). And of course Ms. Jill Scott was impeccable.

OMG!!! Tank, Ginuwine and Tyrese!?!? That is taking it waaaaaay back! LOL. Btw, have you heard about the book Tyrese wrote with Rev. Run?

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by chopstickcharmer
what happened to this thread? 😛 1st page was all about my merc in aries man vince now it's about eggs?

Pisces derail 😛. Haha. Vince is a merc in aries...this pattern really must stop lol.

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Dying eggs always seems to get in the way of things. Shucks! But they do have something to do with games being played in that, because my eggs ARE in fact dying (right now as we speak), I dont have tome to play them! Lol.

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish

Posted by natural25

Posted by PiscVirgAquaFish
LOL! It always comes back to those dying eggs. 😉 BTW I had a great day today at the Jazz festival. David Sanborn & Bob James got the night started. Followed by TGT(Tank, Ginuwine, and Tyrese). And of course Ms. Jill Scott was impeccable.

OMG!!! Tank, Ginuwine and Tyrese!?!? That is taking it waaaaaay back! LOL. Btw, have you heard about the book Tyrese wrote with Rev. Run?

Yeah girl they were there. 😉 Nah I haven't heard about Tyrese's book. To be honest I have a love/hate attitude towards Tyrese, he has been shitty in the past towards his fans. I don't know if he cleaned up his act, but that really just turns me off. In my opinion, Tank is the best vocally in the group. My bestie and I both agreed that Ginuwine is the Michelle(Destiny's Child) of the group lol. Ginuwine did give a good performance though. He was crazy enough to step into the audience singing "So Anxious", and some women turned into Flo Jo and rushed him. LOL! I wished I could have went to the Friday show as well, Kem was there. Ah well, got to save some monies. The highlight of the night really was Jill Scott though. I wish I knew how to upload video, she was really on point.

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Lol @ "Ginuwine is the Michelle of the group." Hilarious! I heard Tyreses' book is pretty good. It's about dating. Supposedly, decoding the "player code" for women. Lol. He's kinda like a creep to me. Lol.

Aww that's good you had a good time!

PiscVirgAquaFish - I dont blame you.