What does it take... II

Now that we've answered what it is that we need to be happy in a relationship...

What is it about ourselves that deserves those things?

List 10 things about yourself that deserves the first list...

Posted by tiziani
"I'm an excellent driver" - Rainman

😛

Posted by CreepyPants
Now that we've answered what it is that we need to be happy in a relationship...

What is it about ourselves that deserves those things?

List 10 things about yourself that deserves the first list...

nothing.

All I want right now... is a pain pill.
Wouldn't mind a sleeping pill that'll knock me out for a week, either.

Posted by DonJohnson
money

big dick

tall

alpha as fuck

hrmm!

I don't think this question is supposed to be as hard as it's turning out to be...

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by CreepyPants
Now that we've answered what it is that we need to be happy in a relationship...

What is it about ourselves that deserves those things?

List 10 things about yourself that deserves the first list...

nothing.

All I want right now... is a pain pill.
Wouldn't mind a sleeping pill that'll knock me out for a week, either.

click to expand

me too. lemon balm extract and ibuprofen... amazeballs. i swear by it.

re. a pain pill 😛

Posted by TMV
I don't think this question is supposed to be as hard as it's turning out to be...

it is actually.

ideally i guess we would all have quick answers that are maybe obvious to ourselves, but we arent perfect..

Posted by CreepyPants

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by CreepyPants
Now that we've answered what it is that we need to be happy in a relationship...

What is it about ourselves that deserves those things?

List 10 things about yourself that deserves the first list...

nothing.

All I want right now... is a pain pill.
Wouldn't mind a sleeping pill that'll knock me out for a week, either.

me too. lemon balm extract and ibuprofen... amazeballs. i swear by it.

re. a pain pill 😛

click to expand

Just took 800mg Ibuprofen.
Will have to try that lemon balm extract.

thanks

i probably didnt phrase it the best...

why do you deserve those 10 things?

list 10 reasons.


—?

doesnt have to be 10

Posted by CreepyPants
Now that we've answered what it is that we need to be happy in a relationship...

What is it about ourselves that deserves those things?

List 10 things about yourself that deserves the first list...

Lol, brilliant.

"A relationship is more than finding the right person. It's also about being the right person."

^^^to follow up, I didn't answer the first thread because although I know what I want to be happy, being deserving of these things is something I am currently working on.

1. understanding/empathetic
2. ambitious enough myself
3. very patient
4. i'm my own person with enough hobbies that set me apart
5. loyal to the soil
6. adventurous and a great traveling buddy

yea it is tough...

8. family oriented
9. very sexual

Posted by CluelessCancer
I'm sorry but this is bullshit, there are many relationships where the person is not deserving, but they still god individuals putting them on a pedestal.

its all luck

i agree that it is luck a lot of times. nobody walks around with labels as to who they are and yet there are people out there who randomly have found their life long bliss when it seems like all they had to do was step out their front door. but we can't stop trying to prepare ourselves for when life drops an opportunity in front of us.

too often people aren't happy because they didn't ask themselves what they need to be happy. that was me through most of my twenties. and imo, knowing what you want and knowing what you need to be happy can be two different things and often times *are* two different things. at any rate, you end up putting up with a lot of crap that you feel you dont deserve and go unfulfilled in ways that you can't figure out why or how to help the matter.

and too often people are unable to attain the happiness they want because they were so focused on knowing what they were looking for that they forgot to groom themselves to be deserving of it ...also me in most of my twenties. i got a lot of what i didnt deserve because i forgot to give what the other deserved by being a better person. ...both great things and very very bad things.

here's my little exercise. robyn ...you nailed it really. it is meant to be an exercise.

so far a few people have admitted how difficult both lists are... they should be even if it's not ideal that they are difficult. but it makes sense that they are tough.

it's hard to honestly scrutinize yourself.

Posted by geminicandle
What does "love to dote on a lover" mean?

good morning gurlfren 🙂

dote is like spoiling i guess... small or big gestures, material/emotional/physical

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by CreepyPants
Now that we've answered what it is that we need to be happy in a relationship...

What is it about ourselves that deserves those things?

List 10 things about yourself that deserves the first list...

Lol, brilliant.

"A relationship is more than finding the right person. It's also about being the right person."

click to expand

zactly! thank you!

you don't deserve anything in this life,just go and get it,make it happen

Posted by geminicandle
Creepy, are you dating these days?

I am dating aroung the zodiac, lol. 12 signs in 90 days.

i'm open to it, but i am not currently dating anyone.

that taurus is still creeping though. i'm a little unsure of what to do with that situation.

he texted me last night at 11pm ... "Sooo" ...and that's it. LOL!!!

He's in DC right now so it wasn't like a booty call, but still I just wanted to text back, "Ya?! What, buddy?!" ARGH!!!! Part of me thinks he's scared of me or highly confused about me.

lol@ 12 signs in 90 days. damn... that's a man a week. lol gimme the full report 😛 I have never dated a libra, aries, gemini, and capricorn (surprisingly)

Posted by geminicandle
I can't think of one reason why any sane guy would wanna date me. I talk a lot, I am moody, I don't cook, not family oriented and I talk back.

I guess if he catches me on a good day, I can be aight.

HA!

perhaps i should list all the reasons why i dont deserve the guy i want 😛

1. i'm moody too

... i'll stop there for now. lol

Posted by geminicandle

Posted by CreepyPants

Posted by geminicandle
What does "love to dote on a lover" mean?

good morning gurlfren 🙂

dote is like spoiling i guess... small or big gestures, material/emotional/physical

Good morning beautiful lady🙂

Any fun plans this weekend?

And thanks for explaining. And no, I like to be spoiled and not to do the spoiling, lol!

click to expand

no fun plans this weekend which to me right now... is a fun plan 😛 I'm going to Burning Man in a couple weeks so I'll spend the next couple days preparing for that. 🙂

last few weekends i've been out of town and right now i've been chillin in bed the last two hrs ... i was going to make my morning smoothie, but i'm actually thinking of pouring a glass of pinot noir. LOL

what about you? any fun dates or prospects comin up?

yea i def liked to be spoiled too... i'm not saying i throw money at a guy LOL gawd no. but little things here and there, some ego stroking, a good romp in the sac, cooking, massaging. the happier i am, the happier he is. 😉

Posted by geminicandle
Creepy, you are not as moody as I am. You are also not an attention whore like I am.

And you cook. I read your updates. LOL

😛 i wont deny that. i love cooking and drinking wine. it's how i relax sometimes.

but i unno... i'm pretty moody. i hide it well online and in person, but in close proximity ...like when i'm dating someone, it's tough to hide.

and if a guy starts an argument with me... my bitching and arguments can be demoralizing.

...coming from my ex-ex, taurus, who was a big debater through school, ended up going into law and thought i should too.

i'll shut my mouth if i'm in the wrong or have no argument though. 😛

Posted by geminicandle
I talked to this old colleague (he is like a 63 yr old man) of mine and he told me "Gemini candle, 3 things please a man: you need to shut up, you need to cook and you need to have sex with him". LOL

And I was thinking to myself...sex is fine. I can cook just fine, but I don't really like to. But to shut up—?NOOOO you can't ask that of me!!

yeah exactly. when are women ever going to hold our tongue surrounded by the antics of men.

Posted by VirgoDragon64
you don't deserve anything in this life,just go and get it,make it happen

making it happen cooooould be the same thing as deserving it

Posted by geminicandle
He texted you one word? Did you even respond to that?
It sounds like he left it up to you. "Sooo"...meaning, hey please respond back because I don't know what else to say. It sounds like you guys didn't end too well?

Well I can tell you that Gemini guys are unreliable. Also, play too many games because they don't know what they want.
Aries guys are sexy and pushy, but they move tooooooo fast. Also, bossy and controlling.
Capricorn guys are just sexy and cool. The best looking sign if we go by looks alone, but a little cold/boring on the inside. At least for me.

we ended with him telling me he thought i needed time to recoup from my last relationship with the scorp. which is totally fair... when the taurus and i first started dating i told him i wasnt ready to jump into dating. nothing to do with my relationship with the scorp. i already felt i was in a clear-minded place, i just wanted to play the single card for a healthy minute. and i told him that i KNEW he was going to make me fall for him anyways. that's exactly what happened.

in response to the taurus saying he thought i needed time, i told him that it was my place to decide and that i'm not going to figure out how to be in a relationship while being single. life goes on for me. then i said to him that it seems more like he was confused and needed space. to which he said i was probably right.

boom. that's how it ended. i told him i wouldn't contact him at all then. that was almost 2 months ago now. jeez-o'petes time flies. we've texted here and there since then.

and yea i did text him back last night. i was so irritated with his one word text, all i could muster was "hello" lolololol

So he finally came out with his point... he wanted to see if i wanted to go out with him on the 29th when he flies back in town. i guess he'll be in town for a couple days before he leaves again for some unknown period of time.

unfortunately... that's when i leave town. his response to that was disappointment glazed with aloofness. aquarius moon.

i pulled my cap card and did the unemotional thing. i really dont know how else to treat the situation given our track record.

he's a great guy. truth is i miss him. but his communication skills in a romantic situation are a TRAGEDY. my guess is his expectations are that his woman be no less than a mind reader. serious.

Posted by geminicandle
And I have been drinking my coffee for 2 hours now and I feel like upgrading to something stronger, lol.

lmfao!

i may just line up my bevs... smoothie, pinot noir, coffee, h20 ...why not

Posted by geminicandle
HAHA, yeah you hide it well. Capricorn women are smart, classy, hard working and grounded. My best friend is a Capricorn girl!

An Aries guy just bitched me out "well, you are not gonna treat me like a monkey. I will not take this treatment from you". He thinks I pussy-fied him. But how? I don't see it.
He was coming on too fast and being bossy, so I had to set him straight.

Gemini guy is nowhere to be heard from. I guess I'll go out with this cancer guy because he seems to be the easiest going one, the most mellow one. So far.

And you should go to Law School. Let's go together!! I wanna go too🙂

lol you just dont know the effect you have on men!

You dated a cancer before right? ltr? That should get off the ground nicely being your moon sign.

I've dated piscean guys, but never seriously. I met one right as the taurus and i stopped dating, but he lives in Utah... so far. I dont do that. Too bad, because this guy is so awesome.

yea, we could definitely kick it with wine n cocktails. 🙂

i just like a good bottle of wine 😛 red, white... doesnt matter what grape as long as it fits the mood. i bought a decent bottle of pinot noir yesterday.

i do like bubbly though ... always

Posted by geminicandle
It's just that red wine gives me a headache the day after. I have no idea why, but it is so bad that I gave up drinking it:/

White wine goes straight to my head and gives me a quick buzz😛

Yeah, that would be fun. When I am in Vegas next, I'll let you know and we can go out🙂

if i start drinking wine too early ...like i'm about to do lol ...then yea, i'll get a red wine headache. that's what pills are for, gf! 😛 following it with water helps too.

and yess, let me know !

Posted by kraft
1. I always have wine

2. I make stupid jokes

3. I'll go down on you on your birthday

4. and possibly Christmas

5. I'll pet your cat and pretend I like him

6. std free

7. not really sure about #6

8. likes animals...usually medium rare

9. I won't flirt with your mom...maybe

10. I post on dxp on the regular...so that proves I'm a pretty well adjusted person. 🙂

LOL

so number 7 is a plus? 😛

cute

yea after drinking i always have a glass of water and 600mgs of ibu.

it's key for hangovers. if it's a particularly crazy night planned then i'll start the night with prilosec. lol

i don't like being slowed down and i've done this rodeo enough that i oughta know 😛

Okay, after a good amount of serious thought...

What I need:

loyalty,
honesty,
autonomy,
mutual trust,
mental stimulation,
regular sexual intimacy,
willingness to explore new things,
patience,
friendship,
natural chemistry/passion

Why I deserve those things...

First, I would have to say that I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve. I earn.

But if I absolutely had to pick ten reasons:

because I can/will reciprocate everything on my list for the right person,
because I'm a human being and everyone deserves happiness on some level,
because I'm devoted, blindly so at times,
because I know how to put others before myself,
because I'm good at providing,
because I'm always protective of what's mine,
because I would never ask anything of another person that I'm not willing to do/give myself,
because as far as procreative/mate candidates go, I don't think I'm the worst out there,
because what I lack in skill or technical know-how, I make up for with enthusiasm and determination,
because I can recognize that I'm seriously reaching for reasons at this point.

btw... THANK YOU for coming back TMV 🙂

and deserve and earn i guess are interchangeable... but i certainly like the way you phrase it.

i really like your reasons!

I don't know If I deserve the ultimate boyfriend but I know I did nothing to deserve the two previous fuckwits.....maybe if I do something I'll deserve him, god knows what it is....Maybe I just have to be myself?........The guy I described in the other topic is basically myself. I sound really full of myself..