Would you lie about your sexual history to someone

you might develop a serious relationship with ? (or just dating ?)

I hate it when someone I'm dating asks me the "how many people have you slept with?" question. It's a can of worms sort of question, it can easily make any relationship very toxic if the number is beyond their expectations. Yet occasionally, someone asks.. and occasionally.. you really like that someone and you really don't want to lie to them.. and you really don't want to hurt them in the same time.. but you still have to respond..

So, how do you respond ?

Lie ?
Tell the truth ?
Avoid answering ? (for now, its a boomerang sort of question, once its asked, it will always come back)

Would your answer be different if you felt that person has a jealous streak ?

Would your answer be different if you thought that person is the love of your life ?

Would you want to know how many people your partner/bf/gf slept with ?

Always turn the question back at, stare directly to their eyes and enjoy their embracement!

Posted by BommyKnocker

So, how do you respond ?

- Truth. It sets you free.

Would your answer be different if you felt that person has a jealous streak ?

- No (see above answer)

Would your answer be different if you thought that person is the love of your life ?

- No, because if the person is the love of my life, he would accept who I am, which includes my past obviously. After all, we wouldn't be who we are today if not for past experiences.

Would you want to know how many people your partner/bf/gf slept with ?

- No. I've asked in the past, however, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't ask any future partner.

Posted by BommyKnocker
you might develop a serious relationship with ? (or just dating ?)

I hate it when someone I'm dating asks me the "how many people have you slept with?" question. It's a can of worms sort of question, it can easily make any relationship very toxic if the number is beyond their expectations. Yet occasionally, someone asks.. and occasionally.. you really like that someone and you really don't want to lie to them.. and you really don't want to hurt them in the same time.. but you still have to respond..

So, how do you respond ?

Lie ?
Tell the truth ?
Avoid answering ? (for now, its a boomerang sort of question, once its asked, it will always come back)

Would your answer be different if you felt that person has a jealous streak ?

Would your answer be different if you thought that person is the love of your life ?

Would you want to know how many people your partner/bf/gf slept with ?

my answer is always the same. 'it's none of your business'. it's not relevant to the present time or the future and so why put yourself in a place where some kind of negative reaction is likely?

seriously....whose business is it but yours?? i don't want to know their number either.

Good point, Roxi. Your romantic and/or sexual history should have no negative bearing on your current or future prospects. So long as it doesn't affect the person you're with currently.

I once dated someone who not only asked that, but wanted even more information, like how many times ? when ? where ? even what was I wearing.

I would avoid answering and if forced (emotionally blackmailed) to reply, I will lie. I can't handle that sort of thing ever again.

Posted by BommyKnocker
I once dated someone who not only asked that, but wanted even more information, like how many times ? when ? where ? even what was I wearing.

What the hell? Maybe s/he was getting off on the visual. *shrugs*

not really, she really liked me and she hasn't been with many people + a jealous character.. it immediately created trust issues and she felt she needed more information to "understand" my history. So it was really me going through my own history, explaining, while she's judging, trying to help her get over it. It was fucked up.

It's kind of interesting seeing the women's input/reaction. they say number she said, multiply it by 5 (or was it 3 ? can't remember).. and that's her real number.. kind of fucked up if you guys are actually being honest about your number.

I don't understand. What is this a rule? Who told you about this so-called rule?

I never lie about my number because I don't have a reason to...my girlfriends don't either. Well, with some of them, I'm not sure if they've ever been asked that question. My ex just assumed that I was lying when he asked. He didn't believe that he was my first, which was part of the reason I regret him being my first (and only). 😢

yeah.. you're in that special category of people who would confidently answer that question cause your number is evidently low.

+

Coincidently, the girl I was referring too is a Scorpio Sun/Scorpio Moon, like yourself.. and she hasn't been with many people too. I doubt you can handle/date someone who's been with MANY people.

+

Not really a "rule" as much as its Broscience.

Yea, I asked him for specifics too with regard to his sexual history. He lied about it, but whatever. I guess I just wanted to know exactly how many women I'd shared him with and if I was measuring up to what he wanted...I just kept thinking that my lack of experience would disappoint or bore him. I mean, I know that doesn't make sense, but that was my thought process at the time. I know better now.

lol @ broscience

lol, asking that on a first date is evil. Clever, funny and evil.

This whole thing kind of reminds me of my college room-mate (Leo). He slept with around 400-500 women during our college years (alone, and that's not an exaggeration) and then fell in love with this nice lady (Scorp.. from a stupendously wealthy family, I secretly think he liked her money more than he liked her.. but anyway).. who also happened to be a virgin at the time. So to get closer to her, he lied and said he's a virgin. I remember asking him how is he going to convince her that he's a virgin should things get to the bedroom..and he basically said "no sex for 3 months before then date.. that will leave me clumsy enough". They eventually got married.. 6th anniversary coming up soon.

Which is pretty much my question.. do the cowardly thing and lie.. risk being happy. Or do the right thing and tell the truth.. and risk being miserable ?

Woooow. I wonder if your college roommie's wife ever discovered that he wasn't being forthright. I kinda feel like the truth is something that always ends up surfacing anyway, so there's no point in hiding it.

I was watching this tv show once, and the woman was like (to her partner after he confessed to having a sex addiction), "Oh babe, I don't care how many people you've been with- I love you! We'll get through this together." Then he told her 800+, and she was like, "Oh...I'm...I'm not sure I can do this. I need some time." LOL! Funny.

That's a very personal question so it depends on how long we have been dating.
If he asks on the first date, he won't get an answer other than mind his business.

Just say "probably a lot less than you"

Yes, I would. Lie my ass off. You tell the truth and all hell breaks loose.
Noboby wants to hear the truth to their answers.Then don't ask.

I'd lie... depending on my mood.

I would have to really, really like someone to answer that question. Not because I think the number is high or low (girls tend to round-down when put on the spot unless they are talking to other women, hehe) and because a man WILL judge you if it is too high. TRUTH! I would lie because it is non of their business.

I'd get them to tell me first.. then back out on telling them myself. IT would probably be an ongoing game we play were they have to continually guess. Don't date me, lol

Now if someone told me first... then asked me.. I'd tell the truth. But could take years.. because I would judge your number (sorry, can't help it!) and I'd need to really know you first to determine if I can get over your number (whether it is high or low)

I'm jealous!!!!

AND, within that year I'd hope you would have figured out roughly how many guys I'd been with. I've never asked that question. Not even of my ex-husband. I've had a man offer that info though..then ask me. Only because it was very important for him to know the answer.

Hey, that's kinda weird if I think about it. hmmmm..