Destiny or Soulmate?

First I want to say that you all are so nice on this board. I am new and have felt very welcomed by all. I have a relationship question which doesn't really involve the signs thing.

I meant this guy when we were both young. I moved to a new school and was feeling really alone and this guy just starting talking to me. Eventually we became quite good friends. We floated in and out of one anothers lives for 14 years. We both went off to college staying and touch and even tried to have a relationship but had trouble getting together because of the long distance. Several times he drove 100's of miles to spend just a few hours with me. I don't know how many long distance phone calls we made. But eventually we floated apart again. He waited a year for me (I had to finish school) then he married because he got a girl pregnant. I waited seven then married then divorced two years later.

We never lost touch. When we talk it's as if no time has ever passed. We know each other completely. Well as much as you can know another human being. He understands my weird Pisces ways. We have never been intimate but have fooled around a little; not while either of us were married of course. Definately more than enough chemistry. I know I love this man with all that is in me and he has told me so as well.

Sorry for the long story but now here is the question. Is this guy my soulmate? And why do we sorta always end up together without even trying? I mean evertime we float apart somehow we end up back in contact with one another. Even if we are living in separate states. It's not like we are actively seeking one another out. Any opinions or advice would be appreciated.

Thank You!

Caridad,

I think (personally) anyway that in all our life-time there are probably only a handful of people or less perhaps that will touch our core-being and affect us all the days of our lives.

This is one of these people in your life.....I'd say you are very lucky to have such a guy, even though at times, you are far apart, in heartland, there is no time or space...you are always connected......so keep floating in and out of each others lives...perhaps there's supposed to be more than just floating meant to be....but you two are the only ones who know the answer to that question.

Welcome to the board my friend.

A x

Alana thank you for your insight and response; I really appreciate it.

He is definately part of my core being. And I feel blessed for having him in my life. It just amazes me how we seem to be in and out. And when we are out of one anothers lives we feel haunted by our thoughts of one another.

Though I would think if it is a soulmate thing we would be together. Don't you think? But it does seem destine for us to be thrown together. I don't know.

Hey lady and welcome to this board.

About the soul mate you talked about..?? What is it..?? A person that take care of you..?? A person that would listen to you? A person that you feel comfortable with..??.

IMHO? you are "use" to have that "person" in your life both in real life and imagined life, and as long as you think it this way, you will never going to enjoy the rest of your life with the other persons that may love you dearly.

Let him go.. and enjoy your life

Qbone thank you for the warm welcome. I understand what you are saying. A soulmate is all those things to me. And I have tried to let him go but then we run into each other again and we start talking. Then I think this is meant to be. But, then again, it never develops into a full blown relationship.

So you could be right!

We are both now divorced.

Caridad,

Whether it is destiny or "soul mates", it sounds really beautiful. I think that only time will tell. If you are meant to be, you will :-) Have you seen the film "Like Water for Chocolate?"

A couple years ago, I came to a realization that there are all types of soulmates, not just for lovers. You know, when you meet someone and instantly love or hate, for that matter? Many people are in my life as you described your connected friend and it's possible that you are soulmates, just not lover-mates, you know what I mean? Perhaps in a previous life, the two of you were family, or best friends, and your two souls remember that connection, even if your conscious mind doesn't.

How wonderful it is that you have someone like that. I suppose we could all benefit from such a relationship.

sounds like to me you guys are destined to be together, ive found my soulmate and even though it took us 3 years to actually get to the point of having a relationship its been well worth it so my advice is only time will tell but if you believe he is your soulmate then hang on and keep a positive mind about your relationship. it will go down the path its ment to be, with me and my aries it just took us a little while longer then id of liked but it was worth it.

You are all so kind for responding. Thank you. They are helping so much.

4theluvofsea

I have never seen "Like Water for Chocolate". Is it good and does it relate to this situation?

P-Angel

I absolutely understand what you are saying about the difference between soulmates. I feel so blessed for just knowing him. If we only remain friends the rest of our lives that is perfectly fine. But it just seeems so curious for us to keep running into one another. Two years ago we were both on seperate vacations in the same state, we stayed at the same hotel, and were on the same beach. It was not planned we hadn't even spoke to one another in four years. We saw one another in the hall. And that is just one instance.

Angeldevil

I try to just keep a positive attitude. As the saying goes "Home is where the heart is". My heart is there. If the soulmate thing really exists then no matter what path went before the future will hold a coming home.

Maybe the two of you should jump in a bath tub with bubbles, champagne, candles lit and see where it takes you. You never know until you check it out. There's definitly some force pulling you together. It's nice to see that there are people out there who actually stop to look at why, instead of just accepting life as it's handed to you. There's a reason for everything. How much is really just coincidence? And in your case, this can't possibly be just that, there has to be more! I envy you because unlike the rest of us, who has to develop this kind of friendship as we are trying to have a relationship - he's already a close friend and understands you. I hope everything works out for you and him, and mainly, that you two are happy!

Thank you for the suggestion P-Angel. Bubbles, Champagne, and candles are a beautiful idea. I am going to remember that! Giggling! We are still residing in other states so it may have to wait for a little while. But, I have to be honest I wish it were tomorrow!

Caridad- Yes! Watch it!!!! I'd tell you the whole story now, but I'll ruin it for you :-)

It is a foreign film, so you've got to choose between subtitles, or dubbing. I've done both-!

...unless you speak spanish (silly me!) then you wouldn't need subtitles or dubbing :-)

4theluvofsea

Thank you for the suggestion of the film. I will watch it as soon as I can. I do speak a little high school spanish; but I will definately need the subtitles.

I think I finally know how to define soulmate.

Someone who has become a part of the essence of our soul, so that we never quite feel whole again in this lifetime without them.

Is sappy a pisces trait?

Well I wouldn't say sappy, hopeless romantic... YES definately a pisces trait. That's why when people fall in love with you guys, it's pretty much for life.. 🙂

Thank you for your message Storm. I am definately a hopeless romantic!

Guys it would seem that my Gem guy is moving futher away from me. From Michigan to Tennessee. I don't believe we will be having any kind of relationship because of the distance; we tried that one before. And it didn't work. I'm bummed!

Caridad

I know some people have ?dearly? contact with each other for several years in different sides of the planet, distances is not the excuse to share your inner thought with whom that makes you complete.

You may not to get together in your life time and you both may chose another life partner later on, but the bound with your ?soulmate? will exist. (if you call him your soulmate)!

I?ve asked you a question earlier in your post that, define the reason to be with such a being to yourself and explain it, what do you really expect and want from yourself and him in close relationship! I am not talking about sexual and physical engagements!

Please take your time and think about it..!

Here is some help to recognise the Definitions!

? Classical - Greek mythology - An angry god split our ancestors into two resulting in humans who are condemned to spending their lives searching for the other half, the soulmate.

? Spiritual and religious - concepts of reincarnation and karma. Soulmates have spent many previous lifetimes together.

? Companion soulmate - People with whom one has made a connection.

? Twin soulmates - Very close friends with whom one has strong bonds.

? Twin flame soulmate - A popular romantic belief that there is only one true soulmate.

Its all about, how would see and recognise ?yourself? in this?

Qbone

Soulmates to me...

Two people who rank far above the rest of the group in terms of compatibility on most levels. Soulmate connections usually come from several reincarnations and have been positive in most of them.

Soulmates know us well and share in common with us many intense and/or bonding experiences. The experience of meeting your soulmate may come from the communication that nutures the feelings that make up for the love attachment that we wish to last a lifetime.

Seeking an unconditional and unlimited love. Romance does not share those traits, it is not unconditional or unlimited. A soulmate experience allows an opportunity to engage in love and make it grow to something higher that means a lasting and strong love bond with deeper levels of intimacy and passion. This may come after a learning process where a number of our relationships which we though were our soulmates and turned out to be just a karmic connection from past lives; comes to a rupture stage.

That all being said I want the love attachment which lasts a lifetime (typical pisces girl). I have been through one divorce that broke my heart and changed me forever. I hated it and want to never go through it again. But I also do not want to give up on love and life. Nor do I want to put that kind of pressure on a relationship. But I do want to wake up next to someone everday who totally gets me and loves my quirks.

As for what I want from him...I guess I want him to be that guy. And he is except that we can never get together. Ugh!

Sorry for the long post. I think it is just a working hypothesis anyway. Got to do some more searching.

If you are both free go for it what have you got to loose? let your heart lead the way if it doesn't work out then you know it was not ment to be if it does then your home.

Old Jake

"then your home" I love that statement.