Head or Heart...

In matters of love...

If you have a person you really love but are currently going through serious issues to which it is in the realm of possibility that you break up...

Your head is telling you one thing...
Your heart is telling you another...

Which one are you more likely to listen to? Feel free to give examples.

I asked this on Virgo board because they "think" the most and on Pisces board because they "feel" the most.

Cancerlady

There is no difference between head of heart. They say always the same.

I beg to differ Haffo...My head is telling me one thing about Mr. Pisces and it is not what's in my heart.

Am I the exception that disproves the rule...probably not. If they were saying the same thing, I wouldn't be asking this question.

First head. If all Ok, then heart.

Haffo is right. Use head first.

Head usually makes more sensible decisions. Heart can only tell you what feels good. Head has to sometimes make diecisions that will break the heart- but ultimately heals the soul. (Heart can always heal itself and move on to better things that feel good).

When your heart is not in control of your head, then your head will have to brake your heart someday.

CL:

I guess I know where you coming from.

You are pregnant. You are 26. You think it's time have a baby. This pregnany isn't an ACCIDENT. You wanted it. But now you want a father too. You want a family. But you are confused. Your P-man doesn't want it. But girl, if that man doesn't want it then he doesn't want it. You also don't want to force him. You want everything to be perfect. Unfortunately, if he doesn't want it your only chance is to force him. If not, then you have to have a baby on your own. If not that too, well then you know what to do.

Dang Haffo...

I guess you really did get to the gist of my problem.

I don't necessarily think it is time to have a baby though just because I am 26 though...more so I have always wanted children and now is actually the prime time (body is best suited) to have them.

But there is no doubt about it...I can't force him to do anything. I can only sit at home and cry when my child asks ME why doesn't their father love them. I could really do without him in my life as a partner, but his track record as a father SUCKS!

I think I am going to cry...What have I gotten myself into?

CL

CL, Don't cry.

At risk of sounding like a cold heffa.. Crying isn't gonna help you at the moment.

Seek comfort in the support of others- and work towards the solution of your problems together. The group will help you find strength- and even the most difficult of questions can be answered.

The only thing that I cannot understand is to why become pregnant by men whom you dont know if he want a kid.

Haffo.

I know you were asking Cancerlady this- but I don't think she set out to pregnant with Mr. P.

I think they had a moment a passion... it was probably not the best decision.. the result was the pregnancy. The only thing you can do with an issue like this is learn from it.

STD. First of all I want to say that I don't hate or hold grudges to you because of previous post, in case if you need to be clarified about that. If not, then not.

Altought the real answear is Cancerladys, I hardly believe that a woman will accept a pregnancy for 15 minutes of passion. Their whole life is changing with pregnancy. Does it worth 15 minutes? Personally I don't think so.

Haffo- I can't imagine you hating or holding a grudge over a difference of opinion.

I said "I know you asked Cancerlady.. " because you're right- I can't jump in her mind.. and then tell you her reasons/ideas for things she does.

Although.. I have talked to her about it. Read her posts and what-not. I don't think she was thinking.. "I wanna make a baby with you"... I think her and mr. P got together- didn't have any condoms are were like.. "oh.. I'll pull out, you'll be ok..."

I mean, not everytime a person has sex (protected or unprotected).. does it result in pregnancy. And vice versa. I know some people who got pregnant, even through the proper use of contraception.... sometimes, these things just happen.

Sea Siren:

And what if the next man is simply know that? Would he give you all his heart when knowing that you gonna leave him for next? Will he give you all worth?

"Although.. I have talked to her about it. Read her posts and what-not. I don't think she was thinking.. "I wanna make a baby with you"... I think her and mr. P got together- didn't have any condoms are were like.. "oh.. I'll pull out, you'll be ok...""

Bah. The whole story is changed.

Well then.

Cancerlady.

I guess that is your P-Man's mistake. And since it his mistake, he has to pay for it. Not you....

Why you didn't tell me that before?

If I am in love with the person, I always end up acting on what is in my heart. It is simply too painful not too.

You're supposed to just bottle it all up and move on to the next relationship, but that is never fair to that person who comes next, because you are constantly thinking of someone else.

I feel this way too...The pain is almost PHYSICAL! But right now I am just trying to cut my losses Sea Siren.

ST😱

Personally nothing like that could happen with me. Nor I would do anything like that, or would allow it even partner would allow to do so. This is not that simple, "Oh I will pull out when the time is right". Actually this part is funny....

Altought, the use of condoms is % 100 protection. The use of contraceptives, well that's close to what you have said "sometimes it doesn't work".

Haffo...

It is as much my fault because I should have been responsible enough to say NO We must use protection, but STD was right...unplanned preg. happen all the time. My sister got preg. on the shot.

STD, sometimes crying is the only way I can release the HUGE emotional build-up within myself. It helps me to clear my head sometimes believe it or not!

CL

"It is as much my fault because I should have been responsible enough to say NO We must use protection, but STD was right...unplanned preg. happen all the time. My sister got preg. on the shot."

This is his fault. He promised to pull out. Remember?

And yes. This is your fault too. But your fault isn't that big as his.

CL- I hear you. Why do I have the strongest urge to sing theme song to "the Facts of life" ?

Haffo.. when I was 15, I said I'd never fall in love with a loser.

When I turned 16- I fell head over hills with this guy from a different school. He turned out to be the biggest loser- he was dating me and 3 other girls. I was a naive sucker- and he dumped me because I wouldn't put out. 2 years after- I still let him pull my heart strings.. then while I was off in college, he went to federal prison.

My point- I thought I'd never thought I'd get caught up in something so irrational- and stupid- but sh*t happens.

I got censored!! woo hoo (hi 5)

Well. You are acting in contradiction to what you have stated before. Head - > heart. I see you too have issues of being truly yourself. I know it pains to not follow the heart. But head always protec your heart from bigger pain.

Hello Everyone,
That's an interesting topic. Head or Heart? Honestly, I tend to do both, yet it can be very conflicting at times. That's all I can really say on this subject because it's kinda balanced for me.

That's a hard one Cancerlady.

I've had to force myself to walk away a few times in the past and it hurts like hell but ultimately it was for the best. Some things are inevitable so it's better sooner than later I say.

I think in your case, if you were to stay with Mr P you would probably end up resenting him for the way he has handled this situation and that resentment would more than likely never go away. Besides if you ever do want to settle down and have kids which you obviously do, this guy ain't the one for you anyway.

I don't know either of you personally so it's hard to have an opinion but from where I'm standing it looks to me that you're doing the right thing to kick him to the kerb.

Haffo- of course I had issues with "being myself" at 15/16/17/18-- I was young- I didn't even know who "I" was. So I made mistakes-- I learned and grew. LOL- I mean, that was 10 years ago- and I had to do a lot of growing up to be the me I am today.

I don't hope to be the person I was at 18-- and I plan to be even different at 38-48-58.. I think my experiences shape who I am.. and the more experiences I have- the more different I become. I don't consider growth or change a bad thing.

Haffo-

I was speaking more from what I've seen other people do. I've only had a rebound relationship once, and I ended it as soon as I realized how I really felt. But so many people just go out the next day and find someone else thinking that is the solution. If it helps you forget and move on, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do, I just personally, can't do that.

Cancerlady - As I said above, you gotta do what's best for you, whatever that is. Whatever gets you through the night, ya know? So you made a mistake! I've seen a lot of posts on here saying things to you like "Oh..I would never do that!" or "Oh I would never have let that happen."

Yeah right. We all make mistakes. But are they really mistakes? I believe everything happens for a reason. It may not seem like it at the time, but I absolutely believe it's true. You did not make this mistake alone, however. The other party is just as responsible and needs to be a man and own up to his part in all of this. What he wanted then..what you should have done..that is all water under the bridge now. Doesn't matter. The situation is what it is, and will have to be dealt with.

WELL

I followed my heart and my head. I actually had an abortion appt. for this morning and I didn't go through with it because my heart was telling me that I should keep the baby. (Especially after I saw the Nick Cannon video "Can I Live") I was like What am I DOING?

AND I am following my head and letting Mr. Pisces go. I don't hate him and I would rather keep it that way than try to force something that will probably never be. But as soon as I tell him I decided not to go through with it, he probably won't have anything to do with me anyway! LOL

Ironically & Luckily, when I cancelled my pregnancy appts. they never took them out of the computer which is good because my doctor was booked up for like three weeks! Back to the NASTY pre-natal vitamins

AND

HELLO CANCERMAMA!

Update on how far along I am...July 29th.

My little superstar takes his/her first picture!

CL(P)CM

I'm soo glad that you have desided to keep that baby. I will thank you for him. Hey little Pisces, you owe me that thanks!

Haffo...

You are just SO MODEST! No, he/she does have you to thank a little bit.

I think you did the right thing. Whatever your situation was with your P-Man, it wasn't worth enough to take a persons life. I'm glad that this baby didn't paid for your mistakes.

You are right...Blame I the baby partially.

You know it IS probably going to be a Pisces...he/she had me confusay! LOL

Had to look at both sides, ya know!

CL

Yea it made you confused even before born. LOL!