PISCES-ADHD-LDR

So I am having troubles with my (ex—) bf. He's a 19 year old Piscean, with ADHD and we are on a long distance relationship. 2 weeks ago, he said something that hurt me so I was not able to control myself and said really bad words to him (and I asked to do a big move for us). He asked for time to think. I asked him if he honestly loves me..."Yes" he replied. he is completely ignoring even though I have been profusely saying sorry. I went to a tarot card reader a few days ago (YES, I WAS THAT HALF-DESPERATE AND CRAZY), and she told me that he is hurt but things will work well for us. Told me that I should support him as he is terribly confused as of the moment and is thinking things through so as not to arrive at a decision that can hurt me. The overall result of the reading was VERY POSITIVE. Anyway, just last night, I decided to check in the app where we met and lo and behold, he made another account! But it seems he hasn't been using it for 6 straight days now (and he didn't upload any picture or put in any detail about him, I am sure it is him because he used almost the same username as before) and I was wondering why on earth would he just not continue to use it if he really wants to move on without me.

Now, I have read countless of times that Pisceans are "slippery" and are prone to confusion when in deep thought and I take that maybe he tried to meet someone else to but regretted the decision? Any advice? Please

P.S. BTW, I'm a Scorpio hence me being brutally honest with my feelings. Guess, he can't take how I am like that though he used to say that he loves my spirit a lot.

Other additional infos:

-I am/was his 3rd girlfriend, and was the only one he confessed his ADHD to. (And now it seems, I broke his trust)

-He seems scared to open up and is kinda scared to commit

-Almost always seem unsure of what he wants

-I don't know what is his own view of his ADHD (if he is embracing it or is just plain dodging that he has it and in a state of denial)

-We've been together for more than 4 months

-His 2nd gf cheated on him; the 1st one I am not sure. All I know is that she is in a different state and I highly doubt they communicate.

-Told me numerous times before that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him

-For the first few days after he told me needs to think, I was pursuing him endlessly (and I think I drove him away further) so I decided to really leave him to it (been almost a week of No Contact from my part)

@narayana

Well, ADHD partners always feel "degraded" in their relationships. We were a classic example. I nag and he always feel not good enough. Hypersensitivity is usual to them. Worse now he is a Piscean so he is EXTRA hypersensitive.

Also, they always have a hard time following through commitments and as what I have read, Pisceans are also like that as they are "unsure" of where do they stand most of the time.

Did you say..oh my goodness, I was so nasty to you, I'm so sorry, I love you soo much I got angry and overemotional, ill never forgive myself, can we pls just talk, I love you so much ive calmed down now and feel so awful, im so sorry x

We totally understand people being honest with their feelings we are water signs too, but I am sensing you have had a few more arguments than your letting on, all Pisces I know are very forgiving if we love someone we know no one is perfect, I can be nasty myself when the mood takes me or someone winds me up, I like Scorpio peeps, so I know you all can be hurtful and very sensitive, so no disrespect, but how long have you been together, and do you normally initiate most of the relationship because of his ADHD up until he opened a new account he never uses, have you been in contact with him since the row?

You said your ex boyfriend, but then continued to talk about him as if he were still part of your everyday life hun, so you obviously love him, are you both young? X

@piscespoppy

We're both 19. And yes, he had been avoiding me. Though I asked one time if we can talk, he said "Not right now sorry". All I am pretty sure about is that our fight is not the only one bothering him as he mentioned a few days before the fight that he might not go to college as he is afraid of failing over and over again (might be the learning disabilities that come with ADHD).

Him "being not good enough" and my "high expectations" and "being neglected" are a usual topic on our relationship (and for most ADHD relationships) and we were actually handing things pretty well. But what set me off was that he told me I am "very spoiled" because he talks to me during his free time at work (again, can't ignore ADHD here as he might be unconsciously thinking that he is spending a huge amount of time with me).

Also, he decided to tell me his ADHD as he doesn't want it to be an "anchor" for us.

And I do feel like I am the one giving more effort than him.

Well yes, nagging any partner will always make them feel not good enough, he wants to make you happy and comfortable in the relationship, all nagging does is makes someone feel useless and undervalued, men do have feelings you know, do you nag your girlfriends too? Did you ever tell him all the lovely things he does too that make you love him even more? Or just all the negative stuff?

Tell us all the things you love about him hun x

@piscespoppy

I guess I have written both the positive and negative. Hahaha. Though, I have a letter pending here where I am seeing things on a different angle--- my lacks and faults. The entire letter is only about that. I just haven't showed him the letter.

He is sweet, though not too sweet. He has a way with words, if I have to be specific. But that's it. It's only words. I have told him before that he had to realize that we will get to the point that we need to act upon the things we say to each other. And he is making (very slow) progress. I have to admit that since I felt that he was only making up for his lacks before, I almost always never said "thank you". And I mentioned this one to him on my messages after the fight.

He is also family-oriented and that's one of the things that I love about him.

Aww, see those are the things you should build on hun, bet you read that back and felt good didn't you ?

Have you told him these things too..i would hun x

Just try being sweet and nice to him, I'm sure he will open up if he feels he wants to be close to you, be nice..ok you scorps are so demanding, I love it in a man but you are young you 2, and hey, don't put so much emphasis on his ADHD forget it, and just enjoy being..ok hun x

And tell him often what you love about him, he will try harder to make your relationship good, less of the negative nagging lol!

If you 'big him up' emotionally he wont neglect you x

@piscespoppy

Lol! Thank you! Though I am having a hard time "connecting" to him. Like I know he is ignoring me and only seeing my messages. But how sure am I that he is understanding me? Should I relentlessly shower him with sweet messages? Hahaha. I'm afraid I might come off as fake.

And with the ADHD, I know, I do not want to brought it up all the time but I want him to at least acknowledge it in our relationship because it is a BIG factor. Acknowledging it doesn't mean we have to be super cautious (that'll spoil the fun), but I want him to embrace it because I did embraced him and his ADHD the moment he told me that.

So I should just totally forget about ignoring him too? Lol. And I should just encourage him, drop him short friendly messages? Don't worry, I'm not expecting he'd reply (soon at least).

You need to stop emphasising on his problems and let him see you love 'HIM' hun, you just told me what you love about him, have you ever told him sweet?

Send him the message I said about on my frst post, word for word and see if he replies, bur also add, I'm so thankfull your were honest about your ADHD, it helps me understand you better as a person, I want to understand you better, I care so much about you, ..ok x

Yes, short FRIENDLY messages x

its not a big thing, why are you making it so ?? He is still who he is, he still has the attributes you loved before you knew, if anything he wants someone to love him unconditionally and never mention it, but you seem a little fixated on it hun x?

@piscespoppy

Well I have read so many stories about ADHD relationships where almost all are people falling apart. It was heartbreaking for me to read those. I told him that I can relate to the feeling of being neglected and such. I REALLY HURT HIM WITH MY WORDS. But I guess he is having a hard time digesting that I am willing to stay with him through everything even if I know how "horrible" the real picture is.

I guess we are a classic Pisces-Scorpio couple. He's fixated only on the good things (even dreamy things) while I don't have much trouble recognizing the real situation even if it is bad.

Jeez, he only has this you sure? It's mothing!!

Posted by piscespoppy
Jeez, he only has this you sure? It's mothing!!

Lol! I know, I am trying to not be bothered by it. I just have a question though, do Pisceans mean what they say all the time?

If we love you..yes! If we don't, no we are not slippery lol, just hoping you get the message, if you don't then you will get the message and yes we will mean what we say.you don't want that, cause if we gone that far, we will be nasty x just saying x

I have lost patience in the past when I don't know what else to say x

Why do you think cause he has a very mild learning difficulty he is to be talked down to, disrespected ect, he is still a wonderful loving person ?

Posted by piscespoppy
If we love you..yes! If we don't, no we are not slippery lol, just hoping you get the message, if you don't then you will get the message and yes we will mean what we say.you don't want that, cause if we gone that far, we will be nasty x just saying x

I have lost patience in the past when I don't know what else to say x

Because right now, I am terribly confused with my (ex)bf. The last question I asked him is if he honestly loves me, and he said "yes" (this after me complaining about his efforts and indecisiveness). But why is he ignoring me right now? I can't quite see if he is indeed thinking things through or if he is leading me on.

Not trying to be disrespectful but my stepson has this a lot, hes so kind thoughtful and loving, considerate also, but when someone knows his difficulties he suddenly becomes a peadophile or something to be disrespected like a freak, it just blows me away, honestly??

What is confusing? You asked him if he loves you he said yes??

Posted by piscespoppy
What is confusing? You asked him if he loves you he said yes??

YES. But why is he like this to me? Like he's avoiding me too much. I take that I hurt him and I have been apologizing. I just feel that more than the hurt, he is really unsure of what step to take.

Look at how you have been behaving he is trying to reach out to you, calm down and be nice ok, and stop with this adhd nonsense, if you don't want him be honest ok hun x don't lead him on x

Posted by piscespoppy
Look at how you have been behaving he is trying to reach out to you, calm down and be nice ok, and stop with this adhd nonsense, if you don't want him be honest ok hun x don't lead him on x

I WANT HIM. I LOVE HIM. I WANT TO BE THE GIRL WHO STAYS BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.

What do you think does his silence mean?

You are reading far too much into everything, hes confused, just contact him and say lets go for a drink, coffee..whatever when your free, ok and just talk ok and leave it at that, ask him gently what he feels and listen! He will respect you for it, your a Scorpio, come on you feel too, behave lol! X

Posted by piscespoppy
You are reading far too much into everything, hes confused, just contact him and say lets go for a drink, coffee..whatever when your free, ok and just talk ok and leave it at that, ask him gently what he feels and listen! He will respect you for it, your a Scorpio, come on you feel too, behave lol! X

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am so sorry for being so paranoid!

I wish I can just appear at his work to take him out for some drinks but I can't! We are in a long distance relationship!

I did drop him a message earlier, wishing him a great Sunday.

I am just REALLY worried because it's been almost 2 weeks since the fight.

Aww, didn't see your last post, hey you just opened up to a Pisces Mrs scorp lol, first time ive seen that lol! Bless ya, hey thankyou for that on behalf of my last scorp relations, knew it could be done lol, but hey beside the point, I'm glad you opened up to me, I knew you were feeling more than you let on and I felt you cared more for him than you were saying but you need to tell him sweet ok x

Posted by piscespoppy
Aww, didn't see your last post, hey you just opened up to a Pisces Mrs scorp lol, first time ive seen that lol! Bless ya, hey thankyou for that on behalf of my last scorp relations, knew it could be done lol, but hey beside the point, I'm glad you opened up to me, I knew you were feeling more than you let on and I felt you cared more for him than you were saying but you need to tell him sweet ok x

Hahahaha. I know, I never imagined myself opening up to people! Especially this guy.

I'd still like to hold on to the things he told me before, and take into account that he is overwhelmed with my spirit. Lol. I wish he can understand me now 😢 Knowing how impatient I am, I am learning to be patient now because of him.

I don't even believe with tarot card reading but I was tempted and the results were immensely positive. I was believing it too until last night I saw he made a new account on the dating app but he was not using it for the past 6 days and was last online 4 days after our fight. I take he was scared to not have someone with him and was thinking of finding a new one but instantly regretted his decision so he abandoned the account. Lol. I sure hope that is the reason.

Scorpios can have a tendency to smother those they care about, add arguments to that and its likely the Piscean feels smothered or suffocated. My brothers a Pisces and even when he was in a relationship he wanted time to himself to just unwind and reflect. Scorpios are certainly one of the most passionate but it could be emotionally overwhelming as its common for Pisceans to need personal space. Long distance relationships can be tricky but a killer can be being too aggressively emotionally demanding, esp. for those that have been single awhile, getting into any relationship can perclude a conditioning process. A tolerance gets built up but if one needs their space and the other keeps badgering for their attention as an emotionally demanding Scorpio, it can be a turn off. I was infactuated with a Halloween Scorpio and in the same sense they wanted to talk EVERY work break, all the free time I had - also an LDR, I could certainly relate. Talking all the time gets boring esp. if there's nothing to mention. Left her for a beautiful Pisces girl, which is great cause they prefer texting - also an LDR but she's already wanting the whole caboodle together soon. I've never been one for marriage and kids but we get along soooo ideally. We talk like almost every day but Pisceans need their alone time to reflect, relax, think, recharge from a straining of overwhelming emotions they feel from like everywhere, growing up with my Piscean brother I know this all too well. Some days he kust want to watch movies or play Xbox, listen to music, become enveloped in their world or sleep or catch up on their other friends lives. Like the fish of the ocean, they need to wonder from time to time, deviate, be themselves. Just gotta respect that, be supportive and empathetic. If they still want you in their inner circle, they'll encourage that by coming back - but patience is crucial, if they prefer to cut ya off, its more than likely with good reason as they are tremendously tolerant to a point of no return. That point may have been reached.

Posted by capvirgo
Scorpios can have a tendency to smother those they care about, add arguments to that and its likely the Piscean feels smothered or suffocated. My brothers a Pisces and even when he was in a relationship he wanted time to himself to just unwind and reflect. Scorpios are certainly one of the most passionate but it could be emotionally overwhelming as its common for Pisceans to need personal space. Long distance relationships can be tricky but a killer can be being too aggressively emotionally demanding, esp. for those that have been single awhile, getting into any relationship can perclude a conditioning process. A tolerance gets built up but if one needs their space and the other keeps badgering for their attention as an emotionally demanding Scorpio, it can be a turn off. I was infactuated with a Halloween Scorpio and in the same sense they wanted to talk EVERY work break, all the free time I had - also an LDR, I could certainly relate. Talking all the time gets boring esp. if there's nothing to mention. Left her for a beautiful Pisces girl, which is great cause they prefer texting - also an LDR but she's already wanting the whole caboodle together soon. I've never been one for marriage and kids but we get along soooo ideally. We talk like almost every day but Pisceans need their alone time to reflect, relax, think, recharge from a straining of overwhelming emotions they feel from like everywhere, growing up with my Piscean brother I know this all too well. Some days he kust want to watch movies or play Xbox, listen to music, become enveloped in their world or sleep or catch up on their other friends lives. Like the fish of the ocean, they need to wonder from time to time, deviate, be themselves. Just gotta respect that, be supportive and empathetic. If they still want you in their inner circle, they'll encourage that by coming back - but patience is crucial, if they prefer to cut ya off, its more than likely with good reason as they are tremendously tolerant to a point of no return. That point may have been reached.

He's back! I honestly thought it's over. Yup, learned my lesson. Lol. Well, I did get hurt with what he said but I took it waaaay too much. Been almost 2 weeks since we made up. I'm letting him have his breathing space too now. I'm trying to quell my intensity and be a more affectionate girlfriend to him since I failed on that part before. He's back to asking me to come visit him in Oregon, just don't have a passport and visa yet plus I don't know how my mom's going to allow me just yet. Haha. Just last week, he's mentioned again that my intensity is what makes me attractive to him (and I kinda got too overboard with that knowing how he like it, oopsie).