Pisces man inconsistency

This topic was created in the Pisces forum by OOshak on Monday, September 30, 2013 and has 27 replies.

Why Are Pisces Men So Hot and Cold?

Pisces men are often hot and cold because they switch between intense emotional connection and needing space, which can look like texting nonstop one day and disappearing the next. Many people notice they pull back after getting close or after intimacy, then return like nothing happened. In real situations, this behavior can feel confusing because their interest seems real but inconsistent. It usually reflects mood shifts, escapism, or avoiding pressure rather than a clear loss of interest.

Profile picture of OOshak
@OOshak
12 YearsTaurus

I've read lots about Pisces men and I am supposed to be prepared.... but the truth is it's hard for me to adjust to my boyfriend's waves of affection. For many days he goes crazy with text messages, calls, perfect romantic gestures, calling me the queen of his heart, his one and only and so on... he tells me his heart is wide open to me and I can do what I please with it... Then (usually after hot steamy sex) he cools off and doesn't need to write me for a whole day, his messages are dry yet informative, when we meet he will talk to me about any topic (except us), stroking my hair, holding me tight, being close physically, but he won't say all these great things he said on the phone or in msgs...
I can be ok with anything, communicating every other day, not talking about our feelings, or talking about them all the time and communicating ten times a day, all is good, as long as it's constant. But with him it never is, so it feels like an emotional rollercoaster with a push and pull dynamic.
I know his need of personal space has nothing to do with me, that his moods are normal, but my question is for those of you who dated/date Pisces men: how do you cope? how do you go from being fully engaged to minding your own business, living your life and patiently waiting for the Pisces men to re-emerge?

FYI (if it matters): I am Taurus/Gemini cusp, Venus in Cancer, Moon in Libra, Libra Acsendant

Profile picture of OOshak
@OOshak
12 YearsTaurus

thanks for your insight... maybe you can explain me this then: this flux... does it really have nothing to do with the person you're with or is there a connection? Is there anything I can do to make him more constant? Does he pull away because of sth I've done/overdone or is it really totally not connected with me?

Profile picture of OOshak
@OOshak
12 YearsTaurus

I think it might have something to do with him being a man, and fulfilling his need of intimacy, love and sex all at once, so with his batteries full he is laying there on the rock like a big bear with a huge belly full and a big smile on his face but unable to talk hehehe

Profile picture of TaurusAngel
@TaurusAngel
12 Years

You read my thread right?

Mine used to shower me with lovely messages, mention the future, ask me yo spend time with hi., etc.

We would meet, have lovely dates with the hand and hair stroking as you describe too. But there was also the push pull thknh. I leave him alone he comes out with the lovely messages. I start showing more interest he pulls back. in person he was very different. he would not often say the lovely things he said to me on text. after sex etc He wsss cooler and more friendly.

Sorry to say he left where I wish I had done much earlier. he wsmt interested. all the messages mean he's prob more comfortable with the fantasy of it when you're not there.

Profile picture of DAMEN VI
@DAMEN VI
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Yea, its pretty obvious you're just a fuck buddy to him..at least he didn't just have sex with you and forget about you thou

at your age you gotta be thankful for what you can get toots

Profile picture of OOshak
@OOshak
12 YearsTaurus

Posted by ninjutsu
(...) but the fact that he presents that very loving side of himself to you at all means something.

It's simply amazing. I've never seen this level of romanticism, openess, warmth and selfless support in my life. You guys are certainly worth the effort πŸ˜‰ So you don't have to be apologise for not being steady enough, comes with the territory, and believe me, it is worth every second... I just personally have to work on my self-esteem not to be shaken by his "moods". You answer helped though. Since you also say they have nothing to do with the partner, then I believe you

Posted by ninjutsu
Have you broached it with him? Maybe addressed how it makes you feel to make him think about it some, and when/if he does, he may be more mindful of how it makes you feel and try to behave more tactfully?

click to expand

Yes, but in general lines. I think he is trying. He doesn't leave me without contact for longer than one day, which happened before we had the conversation.
Just thinking about it now (in order to give you the answer) makes me want to stop complaining. πŸ˜‰ I can see how much he's trying and how incredibly loving he is...
so thanks for that! πŸ™‚

Profile picture of OOshak
@OOshak
12 YearsTaurus

Posted by DAMEN VI
Yea, its pretty obvious you're just a fuck buddy to him..at least he didn't just have sex with you and forget about you thou

at your age you gotta be thankful for what you can get toots

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
no comment
but yeah, that's hilarious

Profile picture of P-Angel
@P-Angel
21 Years25,000+ PostsPisces

Posted by OOshak

Then (usually after hot steamy sex) he cools off and doesn't need to write me for a whole day, his messages are dry yet informative, when we meet he will talk to me about any topic (except us), stroking my hair, holding me tight, being close physically, but he won't say all these great things he said on the phone or in msgs...

He uses words as mental forplay, then after sex there is no need for foreplay until the next encounter, so naturally the mental stimulation isn't present ... however, he still holds you, talks to you everyday, strokes your hair ... he's still fucking there full on.

But, that's not enough for needy people, like you, obviously .... you have to have constant praise.

lol, it's only a matter of time before he realizes how needy and insecure you are, then moves on to a woman who actually appreciates.

Profile picture of TaurusAngel
@TaurusAngel
12 Years

Posted by ninjutsu

Posted by OOshak
I think it might have something to do with him being a man, and fulfilling his need of intimacy, love and sex all at once, so with his batteries full he is laying there on the rock like a big bear with a huge belly full and a big smile on his face but unable to talk hehehe

It's hard to say, that certainly could be the case though. If he's anything like me, he's not one for consistent moods, but the fact that he presents that very loving side of himself to you at all means something. I think it takes very stable types to put up with the likes of some of us... Have you broached it with him? Maybe addressed how it makes you feel to make him think about it some, and when/if he does, he may be more mindful of how it makes you feel and try to behave more tactfully?

click to expand

well everyone said the loving side my pisces showed me.meant nothing.

I got told that they are all over you 24/7 if they are into you.

You don't blow hot and cold on someone you wanna be with. he did what my pisces did. shower remotely all the time but could be very different in person and the reality was he ended it.

He was more comfortable with the fantasy and maybe this one is too.

Profile picture of OOshak
@OOshak
12 YearsTaurus

Posted by ninjutsu
The fact that he keeps returning you (consistently and within a day) is extremely significant, a very good sign. I honestly would broach it if it keeps niggling at your mind, but it really seems like all is going rather well from my pov πŸ™‚

And laughing at damen is the best thing you can do. I've blocked him but when he's not being a sociopath and posting animal abuse videos he is pretty hilarious. To laugh at, that is πŸ™‚ I would have kept him unblocked if it weren't for those vids tbh, but for my own sanity I can't deal with that sort of thing.

You are just the nicest person! thanks πŸ™‚

I guess I am used to people who speak their mind instead of showing. He uses the most romantic words, but his gestures are 10x better than that, I just cannot be sure if I read well into his intentions when things get more day-to-day basis. Guess it's just the matter of trust and getting to know the person. Your perspective in your posts helped me very much, ninjutsu. Thanks!

Posted by TaurusAngel

(...)You don't blow hot and cold on someone you wanna be with. he did what my pisces did. shower remotely all the time but could be very different in person and the reality was he ended it.

He was more comfortable with the fantasy and maybe this one is too.

click to expand

well, he doesn't blow cold at all, he blows "normal" πŸ˜‰
and no, I don't need praise all the time at all, all I need is consistent behaviour... but I will just wait and see and try to be understanding to the changes. Everyone cannot be the same. And if it's not meant to be, then it's ok too.

As to sex after 38, it's fantastic! never been better! I wish you all the same when you reach my old age! πŸ˜‰

Profile picture of hydorah
@hydorah
13 Years10,000+ PostsPisces

Posted by TaurusAngel

I got told that they are all over you 24/7 if they are into you.

You don't blow hot and cold on someone you wanna be with.

Who told you that?
If a pisces blows hot and cold that means he IS into you.
If a pisces is constantly in "hot" mode, constantly all over you, that means he probably sees you as a fcukbuddy or FWB and trying to "win" you.

Profile picture of TaurusAngel
@TaurusAngel
12 Years

Posted by hydorah

Posted by TaurusAngel

I got told that they are all over you 24/7 if they are into you.

You don't blow hot and cold on someone you wanna be with.

Who told you that?
If a pisces blows hot and cold that means he IS into you.
If a pisces is constantly in "hot" mode, constantly all over you, that means he probably sees you as a fcukbuddy or FWB and trying to "win" you.

click to expand

one of the women on here told me that.
He blew hot and cold was loving but nervous with me a little.
Why did he end it though?
He was only a few months out of a four year r'ship and had bad work issues.

Any chance he will come back?

Profile picture of deezie
@deezie
20 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

oh for god's sake... he said he wasn't in the right frame of mind for dating right now.

you were also told that he certainly sounded like he did like you at least a little. I know, because I said both of those things to you.

it appears you can only focus on the fucking negative though.

Profile picture of deezie
@deezie
20 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

so basically whether it is likely or not... you just want to hear he will be back. and then you want someone to predict the future about when he will be back. and then... and then... and then...

Profile picture of ariespiscesgirl
@ariespiscesgirl
13 YearsAries

Every man act's like this regardless of his sign. You do have to watch out for people like P angel on here however she is right...you do sound kind of needy.
Your boyfriend sounds like he's treating you better than most Pisces men out there. Pisces men swim too and from you. If he is respecting you, treating you like a queen and being honest with you, who cares if he blows cold. We all need our space sometimes, and for some men that time comes after they cum.

If he disappeared for a week.....than I'd be worried.

Profile picture of TaurusAngel
@TaurusAngel
12 Years

Posted by deezie
oh for god's sake... he said he wasn't in the right frame of mind for dating right now.

you were also told that he certainly sounded like he did like you at least a little. I know, because I said both of those things to you.

it appears you can only focus on the fucking negative though.

I know I'm sorry.

I just miss his sweet messages and his presence. it's hard when you wanna see someone who doesn't waann see.you

Profile picture of deezie
@deezie
20 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

I know taurusangel. trust me when I say I have been there in the past. my point to you is that the agony you feel by over-focusing on what you can't have is so very unproductive. it is very freeing to just let it go, and place less importance on it. dedication to the cause (in cases of affection) very rarely wins the race. it actually puts so much pressure on it that it can scare the other person.

with that being said, I will wish you luck in finding peace from this situation. I won't continue to badger my frustrated point to you.

Profile picture of mfwb55
@mfwb55
12 Years1,000+ Posts

I am sure he will be back just give him abit of time and also why not go see him if you want see him Taurusangel theres nothing stopping you but yourself from seeing him. I am sure he wants to see you but it seems to me like you are stopping yourself from going to see him. Your decision mate!

Profile picture of lisabethur8
@lisabethur8
14 Years50,000+ Posts

Posted by hydorah

Posted by TaurusAngel

I got told that they are all over you 24/7 if they are into you.

You don't blow hot and cold on someone you wanna be with.

Who told you that?
If a pisces blows hot and cold that means he IS into you.
If a pisces is constantly in "hot" mode, constantly all over you, that means he probably sees you as a fcukbuddy or FWB and trying to "win" you.

click to expand

that sounds more like an aries venus guy.

Profile picture of ninalove
@ninalove
14 Years

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by hydorah

Posted by TaurusAngel

I got told that they are all over you 24/7 if they are into you.

You don't blow hot and cold on someone you wanna be with.

Who told you that?
If a pisces blows hot and cold that means he IS into you.
If a pisces is constantly in "hot" mode, constantly all over you, that means he probably sees you as a fcukbuddy or FWB and trying to "win" you.

that sounds more like an aries venus guy.

click to expand

Glad to read this...that's my baby exactly! I don't look at it as hot and cold, I see it as close then cautious.

I take none of it personally!

Profile picture of OOshak
@OOshak
12 YearsTaurus

Posted by ninalove

Posted by Nemesis
stop making other people the center of your life -. especially not a pisces.

No truer words have been spoken, especially as it pertains to the fish.

very true indeed. Working on it πŸ™‚

Posted by piranhaparadiise

do the inconsistency to a PISCES and see how long *they* will tolerate THAT !!!

hahahaha true.

Posted by piranhaparadiise
(...)Don't care what anyone says here... the fact is...when they are inconsistent means they are not yet there... (...)

click to expand

yet or at all/ever?

Profile picture of Piscesdream89
@Piscesdream89
13 Years

I do not think he is into it like he claims. He likes the consistent sex you're giving him. Bet you take that away and see how many times he gives you them nice comments. You can't be half pregnant.. He is either into you or he isn't. The 'swimming away' talk is a different dynamic that does not have to do with you're situation. He is very sweet and romantic to you when his hormones are raging and when not, he's busy or what ever. But it's up too you, you will make the right decision in the future.