Adreamuponwaking
@Adreamuponwaking
10 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 2650 · Posts: 6434 · Topics: 214
Since I've already given her flowers.........do you think my pisces will forgive me?
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Worth trying. I would fall if you haven't hurt me.
If you hurt me - roll it up and stick up your butt! Feels good?
If you hurt me - roll it up and stick up your butt! Feels good?
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Not even w/ a strong aries placement?
Tbh......I'm not even 100 percent sure how I hurt her though.
I honestly blame merc in retrograde in addition to my stupidity.
I started over once with a Pisces w/ an aqua venus.
I broke up with her and was sad because I thought I'd lose her as a friend.
6 years later ...she still considers me to be one of her favorite people.
I guess miracles happen every day.
I broke up with her and was sad because I thought I'd lose her as a friend.
6 years later ...she still considers me to be one of her favorite people.
I guess miracles happen every day.
Follow your heart ... I think it's a great idea. Worth a shot
Posted by AdreamuponwakingThe retrograde might rear its ugly head to influence certain aspects, but the communication is ultimately upto you.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowNot even w/ a strong aries placement?
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Tbh......I'm not even 100 percent sure how I hurt her though.
I honestly blame merc in retrograde in addition to my stupidity.click to expand
Same thing happened to me yesterday. Me and Jed came back from our afternoon run in a rather intense mood because we ran into his dad on the way back. It's a very sore subject for my beautiful boy. Fast forward: he made a move that I misinterpreted and I jumped to the worst possible conclusion. It could've gone really bad.
Luckily my boy is observant and noticed the subtle change in my demeanor (it was very hard for me to remain 100% composed as I'm giving him advice and my heart being ready to jump out of my chest at the same time - even with a Virgo moon). 15 minutes later it was all over, and things took a bit of a bizarre turn when he admitted he really enjoys my intense side. This morning was really intense too.
Eh.....TMI.......moral of the story: using the retrograde as an excuse for fucking up is bullshit. It doesn't control your actions, YOU do.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowWhat was on your side was that you were in each other's physical presence.I could easily correct things if she was close by. She's 400 miles away and all our contact has been via text/fb.Posted by AdreamuponwakingThe retrograde might rear its ugly head to influence certain aspects, but the communication is ultimately upto you.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowNot even w/ a strong aries placement?
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Tbh......I'm not even 100 percent sure how I hurt her though.
I honestly blame merc in retrograde in addition to my stupidity.
Same thing happened to me yesterday. Me and Jed came back from our afternoon run in a rather intense mood because we ran into his dad on the way back. It's a very sore subject for my beautiful boy. Fast forward: he made a move that I misinterpreted and I jumped to the worst possible conclusion. It could've gone really bad.
Luckily my boy is observant and noticed the subtle change in my demeanor (it was very hard for me to remain 100% composed as I'm giving him advice and my heart being ready to jump out of my chest at the same time - even with a Virgo moon). 15 minutes later it was all over, and things took a bit of a bizarre turn when he admitted he really enjoys my intense side. This morning was really intense too.
Eh.....TMI.......moral of the story: using the retrograde as an excuse for fucking up is bullshit. It doesn't control your actions, YOU do.click to expand
You also might not have an incompatible mercury with your virgo demigod to boot.
I read this a long time ago when I did a compatibility chart for us :
"Square a Mercury / k Venus - 05°34'
This aspect can be very challenging to a long term romantic relationship. A sound understanding of each other's feelings is undermined by poor communication. While you may appear to be insensitive to each others feelings, the real difficulty is that often you don't have any idea how the other is thinking or feeling."
Seems to be accurate 😢
Posted by Eddie_Vanjovi
Buy her a car and spell her name in the sky.
ahahaha
if I were christian grey.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowBoy? STFU!!! Boy! Are you gay pedofile?Posted by AdreamuponwakingThe retrograde might rear its ugly head to influence certain aspects, but the communication is ultimately upto you.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowNot even w/ a strong aries placement?
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Tbh......I'm not even 100 percent sure how I hurt her though.
I honestly blame merc in retrograde in addition to my stupidity.
Same thing happened to me yesterday. Me and Jed came back from our afternoon run in a rather intense mood because we ran into his dad on the way back. It's a very sore subject for my beautiful boy. Fast forward: he made a move that I misinterpreted and I jumped to the worst possible conclusion. It could've gone really bad.
Luckily my boy is observant and noticed the subtle change in my demeanor (it was very hard for me to remain 100% composed as I'm giving him advice and my heart being ready to jump out of my chest at the same time - even with a Virgo moon). 15 minutes later it was all over, and things took a bit of a bizarre turn when he admitted he really enjoys my intense side. This morning was really intense too.
Eh.....TMI.......moral of the story: using the retrograde as an excuse for fucking up is bullshit. It doesn't control your actions, YOU do.click to expand
Posted by AdreamuponwakingTrue. He noticed I had put several feet worth of distance between us where we sat. I had tried to rub his shoulders when we first came back into my place after encountering his dad, but he pushed me away and kept ranting about him. I immediately assumed he had just changed his mind about us being physical/intimate.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowWhat was on your side was that you were in each other's physical presence.I could easily correct things if she was close by. She's 400 miles away and all our contact has been via text/fb.Posted by AdreamuponwakingThe retrograde might rear its ugly head to influence certain aspects, but the communication is ultimately upto you.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowNot even w/ a strong aries placement?
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Tbh......I'm not even 100 percent sure how I hurt her though.
I honestly blame merc in retrograde in addition to my stupidity.
Same thing happened to me yesterday. Me and Jed came back from our afternoon run in a rather intense mood because we ran into his dad on the way back. It's a very sore subject for my beautiful boy. Fast forward: he made a move that I misinterpreted and I jumped to the worst possible conclusion. It could've gone really bad.
Luckily my boy is observant and noticed the subtle change in my demeanor (it was very hard for me to remain 100% composed as I'm giving him advice and my heart being ready to jump out of my chest at the same time - even with a Virgo moon). 15 minutes later it was all over, and things took a bit of a bizarre turn when he admitted he really enjoys my intense side. This morning was really intense too.
Eh.....TMI.......moral of the story: using the retrograde as an excuse for fucking up is bullshit. It doesn't control your actions, YOU do.
You also might not have an incompatible mercury with your virgo demigod to boot.
I read this a long time ago when I did a compatibility chart for us :
"Square a Mercury / k Venus - 05°34'
This aspect can be very challenging to a long term romantic relationship. A sound understanding of each other's feelings is undermined by poor communication. While you may appear to be insensitive to each others feelings, the real difficulty is that often you don't have any idea how the other is thinking or feeling."
Seems to be accurate 😢
click to expand
I was ready to explode on the inside, but he asked me to tell him what I said to his dad before he saw him. Then he noticed that I had sat far away from him and was like "what are you doing all the way over there, sit with me"
and I was like
Me Aries Mercury, Jed Leo Mercury =
The misunderstanding was over pretty quickly lol. My point remains. You can use astrology as an excuse all you want, but it can be as simple as sitting down and calmly explaining your point of view, and let him/her do the same.
Long distance never did anyone any favors.
Posted by GemitatiI'm 32, he's almost 25. He's my boy.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowBoy? STFU!!! Boy! Are you gay pedofile?Posted by AdreamuponwakingThe retrograde might rear its ugly head to influence certain aspects, but the communication is ultimately upto you.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowNot even w/ a strong aries placement?
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Tbh......I'm not even 100 percent sure how I hurt her though.
I honestly blame merc in retrograde in addition to my stupidity.
Same thing happened to me yesterday. Me and Jed came back from our afternoon run in a rather intense mood because we ran into his dad on the way back. It's a very sore subject for my beautiful boy. Fast forward: he made a move that I misinterpreted and I jumped to the worst possible conclusion. It could've gone really bad.
Luckily my boy is observant and noticed the subtle change in my demeanor (it was very hard for me to remain 100% composed as I'm giving him advice and my heart being ready to jump out of my chest at the same time - even with a Virgo moon). 15 minutes later it was all over, and things took a bit of a bizarre turn when he admitted he really enjoys my intense side. This morning was really intense too.
Eh.....TMI.......moral of the story: using the retrograde as an excuse for fucking up is bullshit. It doesn't control your actions, YOU do.click to expand
You're losing it
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowBoy? Awesome! Boy-toy?Posted by GemitatiI'm 32, he's almost 25. He's my boy.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowBoy? STFU!!! Boy! Are you gay pedofile?Posted by AdreamuponwakingThe retrograde might rear its ugly head to influence certain aspects, but the communication is ultimately upto you.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowNot even w/ a strong aries placement?
I don't believe starting over is possible. You can only move on from there. Either for the better or permanent damage has been done.
She won't forget. Neither will I.
Tbh......I'm not even 100 percent sure how I hurt her though.
I honestly blame merc in retrograde in addition to my stupidity.
Same thing happened to me yesterday. Me and Jed came back from our afternoon run in a rather intense mood because we ran into his dad on the way back. It's a very sore subject for my beautiful boy. Fast forward: he made a move that I misinterpreted and I jumped to the worst possible conclusion. It could've gone really bad.
Luckily my boy is observant and noticed the subtle change in my demeanor (it was very hard for me to remain 100% composed as I'm giving him advice and my heart being ready to jump out of my chest at the same time - even with a Virgo moon). 15 minutes later it was all over, and things took a bit of a bizarre turn when he admitted he really enjoys my intense side. This morning was really intense too.
Eh.....TMI.......moral of the story: using the retrograde as an excuse for fucking up is bullshit. It doesn't control your actions, YOU do.
You're losing itclick to expand
Why did you think LDR would work for you two?
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowI don't think it will. I want her to be free.
Why did you think LDR would work for you two?
I'm about to increase the distance between us too as I'm moving to the East Coast for school.
I still want us to be on good terms though as friends before I leave.
Posted by AdreamuponwakingLDR never works. Relationships need that close proximity and the physical touch aspect to survive. There's no magic without being able to touch each other, smell each other's scent. I've never seen a successful one.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowI don't think it will. I want her to be free.
Why did you think LDR would work for you two?
I'm about to increase the distance between us too as I'm moving to the East Coast for school.
I still want us to be on good terms though as friends before I leave.
click to expand
Posted by tizianiYeah, it always struck me as so pompous and self-righteous
but you're saying you're giving her space, which no offence but no one needs a letter informing them of a non-event
"I will give you space"
"You thought I needed the permission? lol"
Posted by infiresNormally I would agree but
Just do it and see her response. I need more details on what happened..
but usually, in something like that would melt a girls heart
sometimes a simple sorry and truly making up for it (not with stuff) shows your sincerity
I already apologized a couple of weeks ago via text for something else...I feel like I should up the ante with this one.
also, to be honest, I also just want to give her this gift. I first heard about it several months ago and I immediately thought of her.I wanted to give it to her for her birthday but it was hard to get my hands on one in time.
Posted by tizianiPosted by DamnataThere's no diplomatic way to say but to me it's a useless thing to say. Like thanks for breathing on me. Now i have to get on with things.Posted by tizianiYeah, it always struck me as so pompous and self-righteous
but you're saying you're giving her space, which no offence but no one needs a letter informing them of a non-event
"I will give you space"
"You thought I needed the permission? lol"
click to expand
I just want to acknowledge her feelings, apologize and convey that I'm not going to keep bugging her...because I respect her boundaries.
As a Pisces who needs space whether I'm mad at you or not....I appreciate it when other people acknowledge my boundaries and communicate that they are doing that...in lieu of also holding a grudge / ill feelings towards me and not speaking to me. Takes the guesswork out.
But I appreciate the feedback.It's nice to have outside perspectives other than your own. Miscommunication got me into this situation in the first place.
Posted by SomeSortOfMermaidI didn't talk ish. I was just trying to figure out why she disappeared...and in doing so
I mean you were so quick to talk shit about her last week.
I hope she stays away for her own sake.
I was using my experience with other people with similar placements to figure out why.
Dumb I know.
Anyway since that post which was two weeks ago, new info has surfaced.
I figured out why she disappeared...well kind of ( I posted a short story on fb that I guess offended her somehow..as she left a comment that was semi indicative of that). I'm clueless as to how it offended her as all of the people I've shared it with love the story and think it's very heartfelt. I'd love to talk to her about it in person to figure out the misunderstanding but in case I don't get the chance I still want acknowledge her feelings in a sincere way in lieu of just sending her a text /email or fb message.
Posted by SomeSortOfMermaidAs a Pisces sun..... normally I would agree with you but I still feel like I can be a blessing to her in her life.
I hope she stays away for her own sake.
If I didn't I wouldn't even attempt to apologize.
Regardless
if she decides to walk away I'd understand but she deserves an apology first.
I want to own up to my mistake and acknowledge her feelings. I care about her.
That's all.
Posted by DamnataThe lesson of the day:Posted by SomeSortOfMermaidExactly.
I mean you were so quick to talk shit about her last week.
click to expand
The internet can be such an unforgiving place.lol
Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Adreamuponwakingthe word "unintentionally" ....would not fly too well with me. another one of those words that fuel the fire of miscommunication.
Thinking about sending her a handwritten apology with a miniature version of the video game console she told me during the first night we hung out she used to love to play with her brother as a kid growing up.....
Part of the note will read'
"can we hit reset and start over?"
"I feel like miscommunication and misunderstanding have plagued a lot of our recent interactions. I'm truly sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings in any way. I'm going to continue to give you space but I just wanted to let you know that you mean a lot to me."
click to expand
That's a good tip. Do you have any suggestions on how I should rewrite this part?
I don't want to hurt her anymore.
I just read that her sun/moon combo makes her vulnerable to being offended and hurt easily even though she seems like a really confident detached person.
It's tricky.
Posted by PVJamzYeah it says that.Posted by Adreamuponwaking
I started over once with a Pisces w/ an aqua venus.
I broke up with her and was sad because I thought I'd lose her as a friend.
6 years later ...she still considers me to be one of her favorite people.
I guess miracles happen every day.
Wanting to stay friends is an aqua venus trait.
click to expand
She's not friends with any of her other exes though.
Just me.
Posted by NemDeuxIf i did she wouldn't answer.Posted by Adreamuponwakingi am not privy to what happened between you both, but read you will be moving as well, so the distance is going to grow bigger ...so the resetting and starting over seems even more complicated? does she know you are moving?Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Adreamuponwakingthe word "unintentionally" ....would not fly too well with me. another one of those words that fuel the fire of miscommunication.
Thinking about sending her a handwritten apology with a miniature version of the video game console she told me during the first night we hung out she used to love to play with her brother as a kid growing up.....
Part of the note will read'
"can we hit reset and start over?"
"I feel like miscommunication and misunderstanding have plagued a lot of our recent interactions. I'm truly sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings in any way. I'm going to continue to give you space but I just wanted to let you know that you mean a lot to me."
That's a good tip. Do you have any suggestions on how I should rewrite this part?
I don't want to hurt her anymore.
I just read that her sun/moon combo makes her vulnerable to being offended and hurt easily even though she seems like a really confident detached person.
It's tricky.
can't you just call her?click to expand
Even on good terms, she's not really a phone person.
Text and in person interactions suit her comfort level.
I just want us to be on good terms before I leave.
Posted by NemDeuxIf I scratch it how can I still convey to her that I wasn't trying to hurt her.Posted by Adreamuponwakingi understand wanting a clean slate and good terms. you can offer that; if it is not reciprocated then you have your answer too.Posted by NemDeuxIf i did she wouldn't answer.Posted by Adreamuponwakingi am not privy to what happened between you both, but read you will be moving as well, so the distance is going to grow bigger ...so the resetting and starting over seems even more complicated? does she know you are moving?Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Adreamuponwakingthe word "unintentionally" ....would not fly too well with me. another one of those words that fuel the fire of miscommunication.
Thinking about sending her a handwritten apology with a miniature version of the video game console she told me during the first night we hung out she used to love to play with her brother as a kid growing up.....
Part of the note will read'
"can we hit reset and start over?"
"I feel like miscommunication and misunderstanding have plagued a lot of our recent interactions. I'm truly sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings in any way. I'm going to continue to give you space but I just wanted to let you know that you mean a lot to me."
That's a good tip. Do you have any suggestions on how I should rewrite this part?
I don't want to hurt her anymore.
I just read that her sun/moon combo makes her vulnerable to being offended and hurt easily even though she seems like a really confident detached person.
It's tricky.
can't you just call her?
Even on good terms, she's not really a phone person.
Text and in person interactions suit her comfort level.
I just want us to be on good terms before I leave.
i'd scratch the word unintentionally.
where is her merc and mars?click to expand
Part of the problem is that I think she thinks I am. I'm not a Scorpio though.lol
she has a
merc in pisces
mars in cap.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowIt's moronic to say that!Posted by AdreamuponwakingLDR never works. Relationships need that close proximity and the physical touch aspect to survive. There's no magic without being able to touch each other, smell each other's scent. I've never seen a successful one.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowI don't think it will. I want her to be free.
Why did you think LDR would work for you two?
I'm about to increase the distance between us too as I'm moving to the East Coast for school.
I still want us to be on good terms though as friends before I leave.
click to expand
My father was a marine and was in the seas for 6-9 month during the year!
And there were no computers, phone calls possible once they were in a port where they could make calls. We were getting telegrams only once in a while!
So how is it different from LDR?
It WAS LDR.
So did my aunt and half of the city because we had a lot of marines due to proximity to the ocean!
So...keep talking! Why do you think you know everything? You are not!!!
Posted by NemDeuxincident 1 -Posted by Adreamuponwakingi understand wanting a clean slate and good terms. you can offer that; if it is not reciprocated then you have your answer too.Posted by NemDeuxIf i did she wouldn't answer.Posted by Adreamuponwakingi am not privy to what happened between you both, but read you will be moving as well, so the distance is going to grow bigger ...so the resetting and starting over seems even more complicated? does she know you are moving?Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Adreamuponwakingthe word "unintentionally" ....would not fly too well with me. another one of those words that fuel the fire of miscommunication.
Thinking about sending her a handwritten apology with a miniature version of the video game console she told me during the first night we hung out she used to love to play with her brother as a kid growing up.....
Part of the note will read'
"can we hit reset and start over?"
"I feel like miscommunication and misunderstanding have plagued a lot of our recent interactions. I'm truly sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings in any way. I'm going to continue to give you space but I just wanted to let you know that you mean a lot to me."
That's a good tip. Do you have any suggestions on how I should rewrite this part?
I don't want to hurt her anymore.
I just read that her sun/moon combo makes her vulnerable to being offended and hurt easily even though she seems like a really confident detached person.
It's tricky.
can't you just call her?
Even on good terms, she's not really a phone person.
Text and in person interactions suit her comfort level.
I just want us to be on good terms before I leave.
i'd scratch the word unintentionally.
where is her merc and mars?click to expand
I invited her ( jokingly since she's 400 miles away) over for cocktails and for dinner
she said she wished...and that i should have given her more than a 5 minute heads up
I didn't undertand till now that she thought I was serious..which explains the reason why when I made another joke about her inviting me over to a party she was hosting w/ a 24 hour heads up she got offended.
oh fudge.
incident 2
I wrote a short story ( in another language) for a class assignment about that party in which she invited me to. Most of the incidents detailed in the story happened verbatim ....including me surprising her when she essentially thought I wouldn't show.The story details my romantic feelings for her and the anticipation of the moment of me finding out if she felt the same.
In real life I pretty much got friend zoned....in the end...well sort of.
In the story I wrote,,,,, the ending was more indicative of her reciprocating my feelings/crazy attraction i feel towards her at the end of the night.
She saw the story as i like an idiot posted it in my notes section on fb
and got offended. She left a comment saying that parts of the story made her smile and other parts sting.
I titled the story "a dream that I had"..which it was... a fantasy that I had....
anyway ....maybe she read it as sarcasm and or maybe she mistranslated the story. idk
all of my friends that have read the story though and knows our situation...thought it was really heartfelt and romantic.
Posted by NemDeuxyeah merc in pisces is pretty difficult in that it's hard to really pin downPosted by Adreamuponwakingi was hoping for air placements ...cappy placements are difficult; her fighting style is ice cold/cynical and then pulls back?Posted by NemDeuxIf I scratch it how can I still convey to her that I wasn't trying to hurt her.Posted by Adreamuponwakingi understand wanting a clean slate and good terms. you can offer that; if it is not reciprocated then you have your answer too.Posted by NemDeuxIf i did she wouldn't answer.Posted by Adreamuponwakingi am not privy to what happened between you both, but read you will be moving as well, so the distance is going to grow bigger ...so the resetting and starting over seems even more complicated? does she know you are moving?Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Adreamuponwakingthe word "unintentionally" ....would not fly too well with me. another one of those words that fuel the fire of miscommunication.
Thinking about sending her a handwritten apology with a miniature version of the video game console she told me during the first night we hung out she used to love to play with her brother as a kid growing up.....
Part of the note will read'
"can we hit reset and start over?"
"I feel like miscommunication and misunderstanding have plagued a lot of our recent interactions. I'm truly sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings in any way. I'm going to continue to give you space but I just wanted to let you know that you mean a lot to me."
That's a good tip. Do you have any suggestions on how I should rewrite this part?
I don't want to hurt her anymore.
I just read that her sun/moon combo makes her vulnerable to being offended and hurt easily even though she seems like a really confident detached person.
It's tricky.
can't you just call her?
Even on good terms, she's not really a phone person.
Text and in person interactions suit her comfort level.
I just want us to be on good terms before I leave.
i'd scratch the word unintentionally.
where is her merc and mars?
Part of the problem is that I think she thinks I am. I'm not a Scorpio though.lol
she has a
merc in pisces
mars in cap.
pisces merc i can imagine to be inconsitent and vague.
i think your message is quite clear, you can't really influence how the receiving end will take it anyways.
click to expand
how she's feeling even in the rare times she does try to express the way she feels
they are so indirect. i couldn't even tell that she did have a little crush on me when we met.
my ex had this placement too
cap mars and venus in taurus make her more reserved.....
well i'm assuming as these are my placements.
my merc in aqua def doesn't work though with her placements
sometimes i wonder how our interaction would be if i also had merc in pisc.
idk
Posted by NemDeuxOMG yes! she doesn't get my wit.Posted by Adreamuponwakingin general your humor and hers sort of fly over each others heads?Posted by NemDeuxincident 1 -Posted by Adreamuponwakingi understand wanting a clean slate and good terms. you can offer that; if it is not reciprocated then you have your answer too.Posted by NemDeuxIf i did she wouldn't answer.Posted by Adreamuponwakingi am not privy to what happened between you both, but read you will be moving as well, so the distance is going to grow bigger ...so the resetting and starting over seems even more complicated? does she know you are moving?Posted by NemDeuxPosted by Adreamuponwakingthe word "unintentionally" ....would not fly too well with me. another one of those words that fuel the fire of miscommunication.
Thinking about sending her a handwritten apology with a miniature version of the video game console she told me during the first night we hung out she used to love to play with her brother as a kid growing up.....
Part of the note will read'
"can we hit reset and start over?"
"I feel like miscommunication and misunderstanding have plagued a lot of our recent interactions. I'm truly sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings in any way. I'm going to continue to give you space but I just wanted to let you know that you mean a lot to me."
That's a good tip. Do you have any suggestions on how I should rewrite this part?
I don't want to hurt her anymore.
I just read that her sun/moon combo makes her vulnerable to being offended and hurt easily even though she seems like a really confident detached person.
It's tricky.
can't you just call her?
Even on good terms, she's not really a phone person.
Text and in person interactions suit her comfort level.
I just want us to be on good terms before I leave.
i'd scratch the word unintentionally.
where is her merc and mars?
I invited her ( jokingly since she's 400 miles away) over for cocktails and for dinner
she said she wished...and that i should have given her more than a 5 minute heads up
I didn't undertand till know that she thought I was serious..which explains the reason why when I made another joke about her inviting me over to a party she was hosting w/ 24 hours she got offended.
oh fudge.
incident 2
I wrote a short story ( in another language) for a class assignment about that party in which she invited me to. Most of the incidents detailed in the story happened verbatim ....including me surprising her when she essentially thought I wouldn't show.The story details my romantic feelings for her and the anticipation of the moment of me finding it if she felt the same.
In real life I pretty much got friend zoned....in the end...well sort of.
In the story, I wrote the ending was more indicative of her reciprocating my feelings/crazy attraction i feel towards her at the end of the night.
She saw the story as i like an idiot posted it in my notes section on fb
and got offended. She left a comment saying that parts of the story made her smile and other parts sting.
I titled the story "a dream that I had"..which it was... a fantasy that I had....
anyway ....maybe she read it as sarcasm and or maybe she mistranslated the story. idk
all of my friends that have read the story though and knows our situation...thought it was really heartfelt and romantic.
my ex had merc in pisces and this was so difficult for me ...cause i enjoy sarcasm and word play ...it was vice versa too; just did not get his communication style . and we were so different from music taste, food, clothes, movies ...you name it. i found myself wording things extra carefully which also just backfired. so yeahhh ....
if there is no middle ground or general understanding it's going to be a roller coaster ....you'll get sick of it.
click to expand
she thinks i'm making a joke when i'm serious.
and when i'm making a joke she thinks i'm being serious.
my jokes about marxism, or capitalism and pop culture fly over her head.
word play is fun...and i love satire the most.
ultimately i think your right. sucks though.
we have so much in common , food , music, hobby wise etc ( sun venus and mars conjunction)
venus and mars trines too also make me sad that we aren't going to have the relationship I wanted ( not even extended friends w/ benefit type of situation) and most likely no relationship at all.
W/ dual trine venus mars combos and dual opposing venus/plutos
The sex was supposed to be the best ever pretty much.
Damn.
On paper she was perfect. My future wife , if she exists, will definitely have similar synastry w/ me...
Posted by NemDeuxLMAOPosted by PVJamzPosted by Adreamuponwaking
I started over once with a Pisces w/ an aqua venus.
I broke up with her and was sad because I thought I'd lose her as a friend.
6 years later ...she still considers me to be one of her favorite people.
I guess miracles happen every day.
Wanting to stay friends is an aqua venus trait.
click to expand
Posted by AdreamuponwakingSounds great 🙂
Thinking about sending her a handwritten apology with a miniature version of the video game console she told me during the first night we hung out she used to love to play with her brother as a kid growing up.....
Part of the note will read'
"can we hit reset and start over?"
"I feel like miscommunication and misunderstanding have plagued a lot of our recent interactions. I'm truly sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings in any way. I'm going to continue to give you space but I just wanted to let you know that you mean a lot to me."
You go for it. Good luck
Posted by PVJamzTrue. We didn't even last a week. 6 days to be exact. I started it and ended it.lolPosted by NemDeuxPosted by PVJamznot reaaaally. nope. too much to consider even on an amicable level. i hate trodding on eggshells. and you just know; the old crap will always be dragged up and tossed in ones face in the heat of an argument.Posted by NemDeuxPosted by PVJamzPosted by Adreamuponwaking
I started over once with a Pisces w/ an aqua venus.
I broke up with her and was sad because I thought I'd lose her as a friend.
6 years later ...she still considers me to be one of her favorite people.
I guess miracles happen every day.
Wanting to stay friends is an aqua venus trait.
LOL. Not for you?
this goes for friends too; they are taboo as lovers. these two worlds are divided.
It depends on how things ended and length of time together. It's easier to remain friends if it was a short term relationship.
click to expand
Posted by pisceanloves
By the way what's your sun and moon sign??
@Adreamuponwaking
Pisces Sun
Libra Moon cusp as some websites say Scorpio depending on my birthtime.
Posted by Gemitati
Worth trying. I would fall if you haven't hurt me.
If you hurt me - roll it up and stick up your butt! Feels good?
Not if there are thrones on flowers.
Posted by Shrewdsharpsome people are into that.....Posted by Gemitati
Worth trying. I would fall if you haven't hurt me.
If you hurt me - roll it up and stick up your butt! Feels good?
Not if there are thrones on flowers.
click to expand
stemming the rose
When you say you wanted her to be free are you saying that she's currently in a relationship with someone?
It sounds like unrequited love! It's a little weird that she wouldn't find the attention flattering but if you've already submitted flowers and apologized you've done your part.
I know exactly how you feel especially with that Libra moon we just are in love with love and it's hard sometimes to accept that you've been friendzoned when you want more.
The cardinal sun in Libra would cut it off! Why prolong my misery especially if the other person is as staunch and resolute as she is about not entertaining that thought of more than friends.
Where is the fairness to you with you stuck pining and yearning after this situation that is unrequited. I think that moving away would be the best thing for you and I also think that giving yourself some distance of space from her might be good for you as well.
I followed Montgomery suggestion and went to an Al-Anon meeting today and the meeting talked about staying out your partners way getting out of their business staying out of your partner's back and keeping the focus on yourself. So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
It sounds like unrequited love! It's a little weird that she wouldn't find the attention flattering but if you've already submitted flowers and apologized you've done your part.
I know exactly how you feel especially with that Libra moon we just are in love with love and it's hard sometimes to accept that you've been friendzoned when you want more.
The cardinal sun in Libra would cut it off! Why prolong my misery especially if the other person is as staunch and resolute as she is about not entertaining that thought of more than friends.
Where is the fairness to you with you stuck pining and yearning after this situation that is unrequited. I think that moving away would be the best thing for you and I also think that giving yourself some distance of space from her might be good for you as well.
I followed Montgomery suggestion and went to an Al-Anon meeting today and the meeting talked about staying out your partners way getting out of their business staying out of your partner's back and keeping the focus on yourself. So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
Posted by ShrewdsharpNo she's single but is currently trying to get over someone else.
When you say you wanted her to be free are you saying that she's currently in a relationship with someone?
It sounds like unrequited love! It's a little weird that she wouldn't find the attention flattering but if you've already submitted flowers and apologized you've done your part.
I know exactly how you feel especially with that Libra moon we just are in love with love and it's hard sometimes to accept that you've been friendzoned when you want more.
The cardinal sun in Libra would cut it off! Why prolong my misery especially if the other person is as staunch and resolute as she is about not entertaining that thought of more than friends.
Where is the fairness to you with you stuck pining and yearning after this situation that is unrequited. I think that moving away would be the best thing for you and I also think that giving yourself some distance of space from her might be good for you as well.
I followed Montgomery suggestion and went to an Al-Anon meeting today and the meeting talked about staying out your partners way getting out of their business staying out of your partner's back and keeping the focus on yourself. So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
I haven't given her flowers to apologize.
I gave her flowers for her birthday.
I wanted to do something different to apologize...mainly give her the gift I wanted to give her for her birthday but couldn't because it was hard to come by at the time.
Now that I have it I'm thinking about keeping it.lol
It's really cool. She might not appreciate it. I'm not sure she even deserves it.
And I agree with you. I know that I am more in love with the idea of her than who she really is.
In my head / dreams she's perfect. She says the right things in addition to having the same superficial qualities that are unique to her which I really appreciate.
In reality, she says all of the wrong things and we often rub each other the wrong way.
BUT despite that, the attraction is extremely strong.
I have never met anyone that could piss me off and not alter my desire to hang out and hook up with them.
Tbh...I never met anyone that i've actually wanted to hook up with before her.
Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpNo she's single but is currently trying to get over someone else.
When you say you wanted her to be free are you saying that she's currently in a relationship with someone?
It sounds like unrequited love! It's a little weird that she wouldn't find the attention flattering but if you've already submitted flowers and apologized you've done your part.
I know exactly how you feel especially with that Libra moon we just are in love with love and it's hard sometimes to accept that you've been friendzoned when you want more.
The cardinal sun in Libra would cut it off! Why prolong my misery especially if the other person is as staunch and resolute as she is about not entertaining that thought of more than friends.
Where is the fairness to you with you stuck pining and yearning after this situation that is unrequited. I think that moving away would be the best thing for you and I also think that giving yourself some distance of space from her might be good for you as well.
I followed Montgomery suggestion and went to an Al-Anon meeting today and the meeting talked about staying out your partners way getting out of their business staying out of your partner's back and keeping the focus on yourself. So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
I haven't given her flowers to apologize.
I gave her flowers for her birthday.
I wanted to do something different to apologize...mainly give her the gift I wanted to give her for her birthday but couldn't because it was hard to come by at the time.
Now that I have it I'm thinking about keeping it.lol
It's really cool. She might not appreciate it. I'm not sure she even deserves it.
And I agree with you. I know that I am more in love with the idea of her than who she really is.
In my head / dreams she's perfect. She says the right things in addition to having the same superficial qualities that are unique to her which I really appreciate.
In reality, she says all of the wrong things and we often rub each other the wrong thing.
BUT despite that, the attraction is extremely strong.
I have never met anyone that could piss me off and not alter my desire to hang out and hook up with them.
Tbh...I never met anyone that i've actually wanted to hook up with before her.
click to expand
Yes she gives you a hit. There is an addiction call fantasy addiction that I learned about today in Al-Anon. There are dopamine driven- fantasy-addicts and serotonin fantasy addicts. And being a Pisces doesn't help and for me having Venus in Libra doesn't help.
Al-Anon said I can't keep it unless I give this information away so let's see how true that statement really is.
The speaker claims that the fantasy addict or another name is a love addict it is actually addicted to their own change in dopamine or serotonin levels they are addicted to their own body chemistry. The fantasy addict is addicted to Fantasy. The fantasy triggers feelings of euphoria that is released through the dopamine or the serotonin levels. Just like you need a needle to actually shoot up heroin... for Fantasy addicts the person serves as the needle. In heroin the needle is just a tool to get to the drug and fantasy addiction the person is just the tool to set off serotonin and dopamine levels.
Only a certain kind of person can set off the serotonin and dopamine levels usually they're shut down their unavailable and there is some type of yearning and sadness and pain associated with that connection.
That connection triggers The Early Childhood connection that the child had with a parent or parents who were unavailable and the child resorted to Fantasy in order to medicate the pain of abandonment.
So as an adult when somebody comes around and they mirror the experiences that the child was having when they first started escaping to Fantasy than the fantasy is triggered and some people refer to that feeling as love but it's not that's not what love is.
I am so glad Montgomery suggested to go to Allen on today so I want to see how much of that I maintained since they claimed that the only way to keep it I had to give it away we'll see??
I hate to sound suspicious but I am.
Posted by ShrewdsharpThis is also an interesting point as I recently came up with a similar theory when I was really doing some soul searching and trying to unearth the source of this crazy attraction and my feelings for this girl.
So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
Basically, we met in adverse conditions, some might even say I had just experienced a minor trauma immediately before we met which primed me subconsciously to want to form an attachment and even want to have sex with someone ( think survival instincts in relating to kinship and wanting to reproduce).
Also borrowing from Freud...she fitted the bill in being perfect enough for me to be able to successfully project on to her qualities that I possess ( something essential for erotic love to develop) as she's a Pisces after all with almost all of the same exact placements as me.
Gay couples apparently tend to experience neurotic love as opposed to incestuous love which is more common in hetero pairs. I learned this at this talk on falling love as a state of madness given by this psychologist in SF.
Lastly, we also met in a desert and because of the harsh environment and trauma associated with being where we were, I also think that is why I hallucinated during one of our encounters.
Everything slowed down and I could see every detail of her face ..every line..every freckle as she reached across me on this couch we were sitting on.I was completely sober mind you.
She was so beautiful. It was just like the movies.
I couldn't believe that people really experienced that in real life.
It was crazy.
I would have really prefer to have not heard that information but I know they said that the 12th step was sharing carrying the message.
Now the problem with fantasy addiction is that it feels good and it's easy to go to and it's it's been the security blanket for many people for many years but what it does is that it keeps true intimacy out because of fantasy addiction the fantasy attic spend most of their time alone in their head.
So like that lady I was talking about earlier how she is in an abusive situation and you know she's unavailable and I do find her attractive but she's unavailable and she's stuck on somebody else and so that gives me a lot of time to fantasize and create a relationship in my hand although we do have a very strong friendship but it's probably not in my best interest to be acquainted with someone who triggers my body into changing its natural body chemistry.
Now the problem with fantasy addiction is that it feels good and it's easy to go to and it's it's been the security blanket for many people for many years but what it does is that it keeps true intimacy out because of fantasy addiction the fantasy attic spend most of their time alone in their head.
So like that lady I was talking about earlier how she is in an abusive situation and you know she's unavailable and I do find her attractive but she's unavailable and she's stuck on somebody else and so that gives me a lot of time to fantasize and create a relationship in my hand although we do have a very strong friendship but it's probably not in my best interest to be acquainted with someone who triggers my body into changing its natural body chemistry.
To be honest the relationship doesn't feel clean; I get a high that is not in alignment with the sobriety that I want to have emotionally at this time.
And truthfully I do miss her dearly but there's a part of me that feels really free... I feel like we needed each other for that six months and I gave her the best friendship that I could have given her and I appreciate the time that she gave me too....
I can't say that I'm really ready to walk away but I'm willing to walk away if God gives me the strength and the grace to I'm willing to walk away cuz it's not a healthy situation for me.☺
And truthfully I do miss her dearly but there's a part of me that feels really free... I feel like we needed each other for that six months and I gave her the best friendship that I could have given her and I appreciate the time that she gave me too....
I can't say that I'm really ready to walk away but I'm willing to walk away if God gives me the strength and the grace to I'm willing to walk away cuz it's not a healthy situation for me.☺
Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpThis is also an interesting point as I recently came up with a similar theory when I was really doing some soul searching and trying to unearth the source of this crazy attraction and my feelings for this girl.
So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
Basically, we met in adverse conditions, some might even say I had just experienced a minor trauma immediately before we met which primed me subconsciously to want to form an attachment and even want to have sex with someone ( think survival instincts in relating to kinship and wanting to reproduce).
Also borrowing from Freud...she fitted the bill in being perfect enough for me to be able to successfully project on to her qualities that I possess ( something essential for erotic love to develop) as she's a Pisces after all with almost all of the same exact placements as me.
Gay couples apparently tend to experience neurotic love as opposed to incestuous love which is more common in hetero pairs. I learned this at this talk on falling love as a state of madness given by this psychologist in SF.
Lastly, we also met in a desert and because of the harsh environment and trauma associated with being where we were, I also think that is why I hallucinated during one of our encounters.
Everything slowed down and I could see every detail of her face ..every line..every freckle as she reached across me on this couch we were sitting on.I was completely sober mind you.
She was so beautiful. It was just like the movies.
I couldn't believe that people really experienced that in real life.
It was crazy.
click to expand
Okay yes what you're describing sounds beautiful, I'm not quite sure I know what you feel but I know that I have to be a little careful with making people have "special powers" cuz they don't.
It's always best to be in reality owning my feelings knowing exactly how I'm feeling and my scared and my lonely and my joyful how do you feel about going to school that's got to be a lot of emotions going on underneath this fantasy....
I give people magical qualities but nobody really has them.
The name of this book by the way is called facing love addiction by Pia mellody.
Posted by ShrewdsharpThis fantasy addiction term is news to me but I know that I am for sure a love addict.Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpNo she's single but is currently trying to get over someone else.
When you say you wanted her to be free are you saying that she's currently in a relationship with someone?
It sounds like unrequited love! It's a little weird that she wouldn't find the attention flattering but if you've already submitted flowers and apologized you've done your part.
I know exactly how you feel especially with that Libra moon we just are in love with love and it's hard sometimes to accept that you've been friendzoned when you want more.
The cardinal sun in Libra would cut it off! Why prolong my misery especially if the other person is as staunch and resolute as she is about not entertaining that thought of more than friends.
Where is the fairness to you with you stuck pining and yearning after this situation that is unrequited. I think that moving away would be the best thing for you and I also think that giving yourself some distance of space from her might be good for you as well.
I followed Montgomery suggestion and went to an Al-Anon meeting today and the meeting talked about staying out your partners way getting out of their business staying out of your partner's back and keeping the focus on yourself. So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
I haven't given her flowers to apologize.
I gave her flowers for her birthday.
I wanted to do something different to apologize...mainly give her the gift I wanted to give her for her birthday but couldn't because it was hard to come by at the time.
Now that I have it I'm thinking about keeping it.lol
It's really cool. She might not appreciate it. I'm not sure she even deserves it.
And I agree with you. I know that I am more in love with the idea of her than who she really is.
In my head / dreams she's perfect. She says the right things in addition to having the same superficial qualities that are unique to her which I really appreciate.
In reality, she says all of the wrong things and we often rub each other the wrong thing.
BUT despite that, the attraction is extremely strong.
I have never met anyone that could piss me off and not alter my desire to hang out and hook up with them.
Tbh...I never met anyone that i've actually wanted to hook up with before her.
Yes she gives you a hit. There is an addiction call fantasy addiction that I learned about today in Al-Anon. There are dopamine driven- fantasy-addicts and serotonin fantasy addicts. And being a Pisces doesn't help and for me having Venus in Libra doesn't help.
Al-Anon said I can't keep it unless I give this information away so let's see how true that statement really is.
The speaker claims that the fantasy addict or another name is a love addict it is actually addicted to their own change in dopamine or serotonin levels they are addicted to their own body chemistry. The fantasy addict is addicted to Fantasy. The fantasy triggers feelings of euphoria that is released through the dopamine or the serotonin levels. Just like you need a needle to actually shoot up heroin... for Fantasy addicts the person serves as the needle. In heroin the needle is just a tool to get to the drug and fantasy addiction the person is just the tool to set off serotonin and dopamine levels.
Only a certain kind of person can set off the serotonin and dopamine levels usually they're shut down their unavailable and there is some type of yearning and sadness and pain associated with that connection.
That connection triggers The Early Childhood connection that the child had with a parent or parents who were unavailable and the child resorted to Fantasy in order to medicate the pain of abandonment.
So as an adult when somebody comes around and they mirror the experiences that the child was having when they first started escaping to Fantasy than the fantasy is triggered and some people refer to that feeling as love but it's not that's not what love is.
I am so glad Montgomery suggested to go to Allen on today so I want to see how much of that I maintained since they claimed that the only way to keep it I had to give it away we'll see??
I hate to sound suspicious but I am.click to expand
I think she also maybe love avoidant too which is a variation of love addiction.
Something else I have recently discovered.
There's a great book on lesbian love addiction..especially with a section on sexual anorexia that I recently read. I wish I could get an appointment with the psychologist who wrote it. I know healing from my childhood trauma is paramount to me having healthy relationships and being able to build trust w/ a significant other someday..if she's out there.
If she's out there. I want to be ready..in all aspects of my life ( financially, physically but especially psychologically/emotionally) 🙂
----
In summation
we are pretty much on the same page EXCEPT
I think it is a form of love that people experience even as fantasy/love/ or sex addicts......
specifically eros aka lust aka infatuation.
You can't base a relationship off of that though (mutual or not)...never works as it's based on projections that aren't real and a chemical cocktail your brain produces that will eventually fade with time.
Philia, agape, and pragma are more valid sustaining forms of love.
Hollywood movies rarely portray these as erotic love is often privileged in western culture.
Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpThis fantasy addiction term is news to me but I know that I am for sure a love addict.Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpNo she's single but is currently trying to get over someone else.
When you say you wanted her to be free are you saying that she's currently in a relationship with someone?
It sounds like unrequited love! It's a little weird that she wouldn't find the attention flattering but if you've already submitted flowers and apologized you've done your part.
I know exactly how you feel especially with that Libra moon we just are in love with love and it's hard sometimes to accept that you've been friendzoned when you want more.
The cardinal sun in Libra would cut it off! Why prolong my misery especially if the other person is as staunch and resolute as she is about not entertaining that thought of more than friends.
Where is the fairness to you with you stuck pining and yearning after this situation that is unrequited. I think that moving away would be the best thing for you and I also think that giving yourself some distance of space from her might be good for you as well.
I followed Montgomery suggestion and went to an Al-Anon meeting today and the meeting talked about staying out your partners way getting out of their business staying out of your partner's back and keeping the focus on yourself. So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
I haven't given her flowers to apologize.
I gave her flowers for her birthday.
I wanted to do something different to apologize...mainly give her the gift I wanted to give her for her birthday but couldn't because it was hard to come by at the time.
Now that I have it I'm thinking about keeping it.lol
It's really cool. She might not appreciate it. I'm not sure she even deserves it.
And I agree with you. I know that I am more in love with the idea of her than who she really is.
In my head / dreams she's perfect. She says the right things in addition to having the same superficial qualities that are unique to her which I really appreciate.
In reality, she says all of the wrong things and we often rub each other the wrong thing.
BUT despite that, the attraction is extremely strong.
I have never met anyone that could piss me off and not alter my desire to hang out and hook up with them.
Tbh...I never met anyone that i've actually wanted to hook up with before her.
Yes she gives you a hit. There is an addiction call fantasy addiction that I learned about today in Al-Anon. There are dopamine driven- fantasy-addicts and serotonin fantasy addicts. And being a Pisces doesn't help and for me having Venus in Libra doesn't help.
Al-Anon said I can't keep it unless I give this information away so let's see how true that statement really is.
The speaker claims that the fantasy addict or another name is a love addict it is actually addicted to their own change in dopamine or serotonin levels they are addicted to their own body chemistry. The fantasy addict is addicted to Fantasy. The fantasy triggers feelings of euphoria that is released through the dopamine or the serotonin levels. Just like you need a needle to actually shoot up heroin... for Fantasy addicts the person serves as the needle. In heroin the needle is just a tool to get to the drug and fantasy addiction the person is just the tool to set off serotonin and dopamine levels.
Only a certain kind of person can set off the serotonin and dopamine levels usually they're shut down their unavailable and there is some type of yearning and sadness and pain associated with that connection.
That connection triggers The Early Childhood connection that the child had with a parent or parents who were unavailable and the child resorted to Fantasy in order to medicate the pain of abandonment.
So as an adult when somebody comes around and they mirror the experiences that the child was having when they first started escaping to Fantasy than the fantasy is triggered and some people refer to that feeling as love but it's not that's not what love is.
I am so glad Montgomery suggested to go to Allen on today so I want to see how much of that I maintained since they claimed that the only way to keep it I had to give it away we'll see??
I hate to sound suspicious but I am.
I think she also maybe love avoidant too which is a variation of love addiction.
Something else I have recently discovered.
There's a great book on lesbian love addiction..especially with a section on sexual anorexia that I recently read. I wish I could get an appointment with the psychologist who wrote it. I know healing from my childhood trauma is paramount to me having healthy relationships and being able to build trust w/ a significant other someday..if she's out there.
If she's out there. I want to be ready..in all aspects of my life ( financially, physically but especially psychologically/emotionally) 🙂
----
In summation
we are pretty much on the same page EXCEPT
I think it is a form of love that people experience even as fantasy/love/ or sex addicts......
specifically eros aka lust aka infatuation.
You can't base a relationship off of that though (mutual or not)...never works as it's based on projections that aren't real and a chemical cocktail your brain produces that will eventually fade with time.
Philia, agape, and pragma are more valid sustaining forms of love.
Hollywood movies rarely portray these as erotic love is often privileged in western culture.
click to expand
You know moving is a real big trigger for people who don't have any type of addictions. People who came from good homes when they are confronted with moving they too are shaken-up.
So you have a real big life-altering experience within the next couple of weeks right? You said you're moving across the country and..Even if you just moving down the street that's serious!
Maybe you should explore how you feel about that I know that me relocating to the South has been rather dramatic and yes I am able to do more things that I ever could do but it's been a it's been dramatic and traumatic I'm still adjusting and it's been a year and I'm still adjusting so I have not completely just adjusted to the move and there's a lot of fear that comes up around that and I know that it's best to talk about the fear and write about the fear and be present with my real feelings so that I can be in the real world and enjoy my life.
Yes but moving it's huge it's a huge huge huge deal if I ever move again I would spend at least eight months going back and forth to where I was going to move to build up as a community of support because it can be real lonely being in another part of the country or state even if it's a state that I already have friends and it's just an adjustment you know?
So you're getting ready to move farther away from this chick and that is huge! that's huge! you know you need a lot of hot baths and massages if you can afford and hugs and kindness because it's a tender time. And vulnerable a lot of tenderness you need a lot of tenderness right now and so do I.
So you're getting ready to move farther away from this chick and that is huge! that's huge! you know you need a lot of hot baths and massages if you can afford and hugs and kindness because it's a tender time. And vulnerable a lot of tenderness you need a lot of tenderness right now and so do I.
Posted by Shrewdsharpof course, people don't. That's why I was trying to figure out how and why that happened.Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpThis is also an interesting point as I recently came up with a similar theory when I was really doing some soul searching and trying to unearth the source of this crazy attraction and my feelings for this girl.
So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
Basically, we met in adverse conditions, some might even say I had just experienced a minor trauma immediately before we met which primed me subconsciously to want to form an attachment and even want to have sex with someone ( think survival instincts in relating to kinship and wanting to reproduce).
Also borrowing from Freud...she fitted the bill in being perfect enough for me to be able to successfully project on to her qualities that I possess ( something essential for erotic love to develop) as she's a Pisces after all with almost all of the same exact placements as me.
Gay couples apparently tend to experience neurotic love as opposed to incestuous love which is more common in hetero pairs. I learned this at this talk on falling love as a state of madness given by this psychologist in SF.
Lastly, we also met in a desert and because of the harsh environment and trauma associated with being where we were, I also think that is why I hallucinated during one of our encounters.
Everything slowed down and I could see every detail of her face ..every line..every freckle as she reached across me on this couch we were sitting on.I was completely sober mind you.
She was so beautiful. It was just like the movies.
I couldn't believe that people really experienced that in real life.
It was crazy.
Okay yes what you're describing sounds beautiful, I'm not quite sure I know what you feel but I know that I have to be a little careful with making people have "special powers" cuz they don't.
It's always best to be in reality owning my feelings knowing exactly how I'm feeling and my scared and my lonely and my joyful how do you feel about going to school that's got to be a lot of emotions going on underneath this fantasy....
I give people magical qualities but nobody really has them.
The name of this book by the way is called facing love addiction by Pia mellody.
click to expand
Tbh I was more obsessed with the why ( trying to find the reason for all of these unique incidents with her)
than with her if that makes sense.
For months......
I did research.lol
Even traveling 400 miles to go to that talk I mentioned.
I wanted answers.lol
I think the book I read mentions the book you are referring to.
If you're interested the book is called lesbian love addiction by Dr. Lauren Costine.
Posted by ShrewdsharpYeah I know I'm scared af.Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpThis fantasy addiction term is news to me but I know that I am for sure a love addict.Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ShrewdsharpNo she's single but is currently trying to get over someone else.
When you say you wanted her to be free are you saying that she's currently in a relationship with someone?
It sounds like unrequited love! It's a little weird that she wouldn't find the attention flattering but if you've already submitted flowers and apologized you've done your part.
I know exactly how you feel especially with that Libra moon we just are in love with love and it's hard sometimes to accept that you've been friendzoned when you want more.
The cardinal sun in Libra would cut it off! Why prolong my misery especially if the other person is as staunch and resolute as she is about not entertaining that thought of more than friends.
Where is the fairness to you with you stuck pining and yearning after this situation that is unrequited. I think that moving away would be the best thing for you and I also think that giving yourself some distance of space from her might be good for you as well.
I followed Montgomery suggestion and went to an Al-Anon meeting today and the meeting talked about staying out your partners way getting out of their business staying out of your partner's back and keeping the focus on yourself. So I wonder are you actually kind of scared and nervous about going to school and you're using this fantasy as a way to numb your nerves?
I haven't given her flowers to apologize.
I gave her flowers for her birthday.
I wanted to do something different to apologize...mainly give her the gift I wanted to give her for her birthday but couldn't because it was hard to come by at the time.
Now that I have it I'm thinking about keeping it.lol
It's really cool. She might not appreciate it. I'm not sure she even deserves it.
And I agree with you. I know that I am more in love with the idea of her than who she really is.
In my head / dreams she's perfect. She says the right things in addition to having the same superficial qualities that are unique to her which I really appreciate.
In reality, she says all of the wrong things and we often rub each other the wrong thing.
BUT despite that, the attraction is extremely strong.
I have never met anyone that could piss me off and not alter my desire to hang out and hook up with them.
Tbh...I never met anyone that i've actually wanted to hook up with before her.
Yes she gives you a hit. There is an addiction call fantasy addiction that I learned about today in Al-Anon. There are dopamine driven- fantasy-addicts and serotonin fantasy addicts. And being a Pisces doesn't help and for me having Venus in Libra doesn't help.
Al-Anon said I can't keep it unless I give this information away so let's see how true that statement really is.
The speaker claims that the fantasy addict or another name is a love addict it is actually addicted to their own change in dopamine or serotonin levels they are addicted to their own body chemistry. The fantasy addict is addicted to Fantasy. The fantasy triggers feelings of euphoria that is released through the dopamine or the serotonin levels. Just like you need a needle to actually shoot up heroin... for Fantasy addicts the person serves as the needle. In heroin the needle is just a tool to get to the drug and fantasy addiction the person is just the tool to set off serotonin and dopamine levels.
Only a certain kind of person can set off the serotonin and dopamine levels usually they're shut down their unavailable and there is some type of yearning and sadness and pain associated with that connection.
That connection triggers The Early Childhood connection that the child had with a parent or parents who were unavailable and the child resorted to Fantasy in order to medicate the pain of abandonment.
So as an adult when somebody comes around and they mirror the experiences that the child was having when they first started escaping to Fantasy than the fantasy is triggered and some people refer to that feeling as love but it's not that's not what love is.
I am so glad Montgomery suggested to go to Allen on today so I want to see how much of that I maintained since they claimed that the only way to keep it I had to give it away we'll see??
I hate to sound suspicious but I am.
I think she also maybe love avoidant too which is a variation of love addiction.
Something else I have recently discovered.
There's a great book on lesbian love addiction..especially with a section on sexual anorexia that I recently read. I wish I could get an appointment with the psychologist who wrote it. I know healing from my childhood trauma is paramount to me having healthy relationships and being able to build trust w/ a significant other someday..if she's out there.
If she's out there. I want to be ready..in all aspects of my life ( financially, physically but especially psychologically/emotionally) 🙂
----
In summation
we are pretty much on the same page EXCEPT
I think it is a form of love that people experience even as fantasy/love/ or sex addicts......
specifically eros aka lust aka infatuation.
You can't base a relationship off of that though (mutual or not)...never works as it's based on projections that aren't real and a chemical cocktail your brain produces that will eventually fade with time.
Philia, agape, and pragma are more valid sustaining forms of love.
Hollywood movies rarely portray these as erotic love is often privileged in western culture.
You know moving is a real big trigger for people who don't have any type of addictions. People who came from good homes when they are confronted with moving they too are shaken-up.
So you have a real big life-altering experience within the next couple of weeks right? You said you're moving across the country and..Even if you just moving down the street that's serious!
Maybe you should explore how you feel about that I know that me relocating to the South has been rather dramatic and yes I am able to do more things that I ever could do but it's been a it's been dramatic and traumatic I'm still adjusting and it's been a year and I'm still adjusting so I have not completely just adjusted to the move and there's a lot of fear that comes up around that and I know that it's best to talk about the fear and write about the fear and be present with my real feelings so that I can be in the real world and enjoy my life.
click to expand
I'm moving in a couple of months for school.
I have to go. I'm currently trying to do everything in my power to make sure my mental health state won't take too much of a beating.
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