Clingy Libra; Is this normal?

(lol accidentally posted this in the Libra forum)

So, this topic's pretty self-explanatory, but I guess it'd help to go into a little more detail.

I'm a cancer and my clingiest ex of all time was this libra dude I was with years back. Honestly, I can't help but be kind of confused by the very premise, I mean, aren't cancers supposed to be the ultra clingy ones with libras being the slightly detached ones, not the other way around? But, I digress.

Anyway, even though I'm pretty shy, I can be a giant flirt sometimes, and I was a bigger one when I was a teenager. Mister Libra (let's just call him K) was the same, except more so, every dude that crossed his path, he was all "hey baby how bout you and some bowchickawahwah".

We start talking, hit it off, exchange numbers and all that, and we get really friendly (keyword). Now here's where things get weird. After a few days (not yet a full week), he's calling me every single day, sending me five texts for every one that I sent him, blowing up my FB, trying to cyber with me (which thankfully didn't last as I told him it creeped me out and he stopped) ,etc. Plus, there was a COMPLETE change in personality. He was always nice, and he was still nice when we were talking, but, he still changed. He stopped talking to other guys (who weren't his friends) altogether (which was nice I guess but it was so sudden that it was a bit jarring), he turned really serious instead of being his usual lighthearted self, he was less cool and detached and more "you're the love of my life I don't know what I'd do w/out you", etc. By now I'm both really flattered that he's so into me and really unnerved by the speed at which he was taking things (and it's not that I'm not also into him because, and I guess I should??ve mentioned this, he was FINE, he was just taking everything too fast). I tell him this, and his response was basically "but that's just because I love you so much". I'm trying to tell him that I like him, just not like that, and he starts up about feeling led on and I'm like —oh god I didn't mean to I'm sorry I just don't like you like that??, and he's constantly switching between begging me to make it work and being really depressed and quiet. He keeps this up for a few days, and, as wrong as it may be on my part, I finally agree to go on a date with him.

(cont.)

(also I should mention now, this is going to be really long)

I'm apologizing for unknowingly leading him on (still not knowing what I did to lead him on), he's apologizing for creeping me the fuck out, we're getting on more than we did before, and soon enough we actually start dating.

After about another week or so, he's back to his old ways, constantly telling me how he didn't know how he got by without me and how I'm so special to him, only now with much more frequency. All the while, I have no idea what to do, wondering if I should distance myself but stay cordial in hopes that we just go back to being friends or go along with it and hope he mellows out or tell him outright how I feel but risk him going all abandoned puppy on me again or what. I keep dropping hints (or trying to at least) and he's not getting any of them. At this point he's told everyone about —us?? and I feel trapped. Yet (and my god I hate what a spineless little nothing I was back then) I'm too busy thinking —oh well now I can't tell him he's creeping me out again because then he??ll be right about me leading him on he and everyone else would hate me for being so shameless and I don't want to break his heart and blah blah blah??, but I still can't help the fact that he's basically suffocating me.

Eventually (and I'm not proud of this at all) we get into this weird cycle where things are going normally (which is to say, him being clingy as fuck and and me not saying anything about it), I'd find excuses to disappear, I'd return and he's all over me, telling me how he missed me and he was going insane without me. Naturally, this doesn't help, and I'm feeling as if I'm out of options. I end up just telling him exactly how I feel. While it's not as bad as last time as he's no longer subtly implying that I don't care about him, he still gets all sad and quiet. He's apologizing for everything, complaining about being a burden, and I'm trying to tell him that I still really like him as a friend and that he's not burdening me or anything, all while hoping he doesn't decide to off himself or stuff me in a van and drive to Mexico or some shit.

(cont.)

Finally he just asks me outright if I still want to be with him, and all I can say is —I don't know?? when I know damn well the answer is a firm —no??. He's steady trying to convince me to stay with him, moaning about how great we are together and how I complete him, and then he just leaves. Just up and disappears. As much as I want to be relieved, I'm worried about him, because again, I don't want him doing anything drastic, and considering he didn't even say goodbye or anything, I have no idea what to think. Yet, I'm afraid to be too concerned for him because I don't want him thinking that I still want him. The only thing that calms me down (before pissing me off) is seeing him bitch about me on FB. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here like —what the hell just happened??.

So, I said all of that to ask, how rare is this for Libras (in case anyone's wondering, and I really should have mentioned this earlier, he has moon & venus in Leo, sun mercury & mars in Libra, and I don't know his ascendant)? Could something else in his chart have triggered this? Was it just me, and am I just too distant?

I know you don't want to hurt his feelings, but if he's not getting the hint you really should cut him loose. I think that you like the attention but he'd suffocating you because you're a challenge to him and he also...likes attention. You really should just tell him firmly that you only want to be friends and if he doesn't stop you'll cut him loose.

Thanks for the advice, but, it's already over and done with.

I tend to get my tenses mixed up so my bad if it's confusing. But yeah, it's already resolved, THANK GOD.

I was married to a Libra for 15 yrs and when we met I had just broken up with a boyfriend and I really did not want to date anyone at the time, Well let me tell you that he harassed me for months till I went out with him..and he asked me to be his wife 3 days after we went out on the first date!!!

We moved in together and moved to another city right after..I got pregnant right away and then we got married...he became super clingy..It was cute for a while but it started getting not so cute anymore..He suffocated me..even to sleep he had to be on top of me holding on to me..he slept with his hands in between my thighs..it was crazy!!! When the twins were born he became even more clingy.....that turned into possessiveness in a bad way..real bad. So yes they are and can be very clingy..they want all the attention for them and they are very jealous.
To the extreme where he hated to see when I would baby my son..he wanted all the attention for him. And when I would tell him I needed some space he would get mad at me and say that I didnt love him. All this happened in stages throught the 15 yrs, not all at once.

So I see that you solved your problem but I thought I would add this for future reference for others anyways.🙂

My husband had a Libra moon and Libra sun...

^Yikes! He was jealous of your kids? CRAZY.

Anyway, thanks! Sorry you had to endure that for 15 years. :/

Pech, shouldn't the a libra ex also step up as well and cut off too? They may be grateful but wouldn't it just set them up to repeat the pattern?

I dont think thats normal for a libra or anyone to be honest. I think he just has one helluva lot of insecurities

Posted by TaurusBadGirl
I was married to a Libra for 15 yrs and when we met I had just broken up with a boyfriend and I really did not want to date anyone at the time, Well let me tell you that he harassed me for months till I went out with him..and he asked me to be his wife 3 days after we went out on the first date!!!

We moved in together and moved to another city right after..I got pregnant right away and then we got married...he became super clingy..It was cute for a while but it started getting not so cute anymore..He suffocated me..even to sleep he had to be on top of me holding on to me..he slept with his hands in between my thighs..it was crazy!!! When the twins were born he became even more clingy.....that turned into possessiveness in a bad way..real bad. So yes they are and can be very clingy..they want all the attention for them and they are very jealous.
To the extreme where he hated to see when I would baby my son..he wanted all the attention for him. And when I would tell him I needed some space he would get mad at me and say that I didnt love him. All this happened in stages throught the 15 yrs, not all at once.

So I see that you solved your problem but I thought I would add this for future reference for others anyways.🙂

My husband had a Libra moon and Libra sun...

oh my goodness i hope i don't turn into this type of libra but i'm not so confident that i won't lol i'm kinda emotionally clingy. i need reassurance all the time.

This sounds almost like a typical honeymoon phase with a Libra. But as for the rest in excess, I'd lean toward him having a lot of water in his chart. You take those Libran insecurities and it's magnified with water placements.

My ex was rather pushy about us dating, but that's the usual whirlwind when a Libra has found a new "toy." Tons o attention, then they realize they're just not into it like they thought and chuck you aside. Most usually function like this, but as for the examples given here... I don't think it's common for Libras.

I wouldn't doubt water in the chart though. My ex has done some pretty strange stuff since we initially saw eachother after a 2 year gap. I blame the Scorp placements.

I agree with Rocky , this guy is a little too touchy-feely for even my lovey standards . He's gushing and watery ,however it could change quckly and you'll be like "WTF ?!! I kinda liked all that attention" 😢

I just simply have no sympathy for two dudes who fuck each other, when this this relationship goes south .... well, north, then in this case.

Not that I have much sympathy for any relationship issues, consider 99% of the time, people have 100% control over themselves.

But, anyway .. when it comes to two dudes fucking each other .... I really don't care how hurt your little girl feelings are.

Posted by P-Angel
I just simply have no sympathy for two dudes who fuck each other, when this this relationship goes south .... well, north, then in this case.

Not that I have much sympathy for any relationship issues, consider 99% of the time, people have 100% control over themselves.

But, anyway .. when it comes to two dudes fucking each other .... I really don't care how hurt your little girl feelings are.

Not what I asked for, but I'll certainly keep that in mind! Wow, thank you so much for your input, you are truly an invaluable resource on this site. Thank you, so much.

(((also I'm sure it doesn't matter but we never had sex so haha)))

I believe all of this has to do with the full natal chart. We can make some generalities about people by their sun sign, but other placements, like moon, ascendant, venus and mars can make a huge difference in respect to individual relationships. I've been involved with two Libras in my adult life, for example. One was a six year relationship with a very relationship-oriented man who had had serious girlfriends since his teens, and the other basically was a long-term friend-with-benefits who seems like he's the kind of guy who likes to screw around.

They have some similar qualities but one was much more "clingy" (and I liked him that way) and one is like, yeah...not really a trustworthy individual. I remember my ex had a lot of Scorpio in his chart, though, so makes sense. Haven't done the other guy's chart, but I suspect he has a lot of freedom-loving signs in his houses of emotions and love and sex.

Probably same with your Libra, do his full chart.