crosspost* as i close the chapter to ex pisces

wont make it long just a recap i don't really rely on horoscopes to tell me if he the one or whatever but i do find them fun anyway my ex-fiacee ended our 4 year relationship after a big argument at his parents house at the time i was pregnant and had been testy that whole weekend i was nevouse about telling him. I was so stress from that and school and my mom just had a kidney transplant list goes on.
anyway he screamed at me punch the headboard and i slapped him i didn't mean to but i did. so i talk responsibility on ALL my parts i should have not done that. I went home and called him he was just yelling and screaming at me. so i waited another day again he screaming and everything else. i know yelling with him is pointless so i never did i waited to see if he would call me he didn't so i call and again it same thing. so i told him i was pregnant he was like will get rid of it it wont bring us any closer and just more hurtful stuff my heart just broke well because he never been nasty to me so it was like a new person was talking to me. either way HCG levels are dropping and again iask him can we put this a side for a bit to talk about this baby thing again no getting to him. i drove three hours to make a mends with him i even kept all the blame on me just to keep him calm. he rejected me it was weird it was like he was sweet nice scared all sorts of feelings swimming back and fourth i never saw him like that before i mean i use to see him pace but this was just weird and startling it just blow my mind. anyway i told him ill rent a hotel room so we can close our accounts out and i can head back home. well the next day my tire went flat and he was two hours late for work just to help me then he told me to call him when i got home. i didn't he called me first. so in the mean time my hcg level is steady dropping and i'm in pain. We talk a week later he told me he loved at the end of the convo and i hung up well i waited a day to here from him so i text-ed him and he went cold again at this point Im so over it so i changed my number (mainly hated waiting for a phone call) anyway the next night im in the hospital cuz of cramps and the doctor said i can wait and do it natural or just have a d&c. i choose the D&C. i did not want to prolong this anymore. i wind up staying in the hospital for two days because i got a infection. I called him (blocked number of course) and told him the deed is done. I told him i will call him in a couple months he reply was a sad O

k it was a long and sad ok it broke my heart but i hung up the phone again i was confuse. well two days later i called him before he went to work and he went off on my again kept saying my name over and over it was weird but my heart, soul and body could not take anymore so i nevered called back and i wont. my lease is up in march so iv decide to move to a new city and state and start over. this has been the strangest and weirdest breakup i mean it wasn't from cheating it wasn't from nothing outrages. but maybe in his mind it was enough also i think the wedding had a lot to do with it as well i just wish he would of just told me it would of been no big deal we could of waited anyway it been about two months since i spoke with him last and i think im just going to keep it that way. at the end i know our love was like no other we were just getting out high school and trying to find ourselves we were friends first (for about a year) but after awhile he wanted more i ran for 6 months till he wore me down best four years of my life i wish i could hate him but i know i never will. but reading about you guys gave me some clear insights and it has help loosen the grip on my heart where he use to lay. Now i can fall and i no longer hope. I now understand with love there are no guarantees and promises are made to be broken. I also learnt I suffer from some codependency issues and need to work on that so i can now chalk it up for what it was and keeping moving and the voices of wondering is finally quieting down and im sleeping at night again just fine. One thing im really proud to say is I didn't do was do the rebound thing i dont want to hurt anyone else and it just would not be fair so i will move though into my accepting stage thank you for letting me get that out.

Posted by brokenbutfixableLibragirl

.... we were just getting out high school and trying to find ourselves


I also learnt I suffer from some codependency issues and need to work on that so i can now chalk it up for what it was and keeping moving and the voices of wondering is finally quieting down and im sleeping at night again just fine. One thing im really proud to say is I didn't do was do the rebound thing i dont want to hurt anyone else and it just would not be fair so i will move though into my accepting stage thank you for letting me get that out.

Your profile says you're 26 years old.

It has taken you 8 years (you mentioned it being in high school) .. 8 years to come to a perspective?