help with understanding a virgo guy

Hello All,
I'm attracted to a Virgoan guy at the office. We occasionally run into each other in meetings and etc. other times I do not see him much so I do not have the opportunity to socialize with him. But I am trying to find my ways when appropriate (such as befriending people close to him, etc.). I have started getting some signals from him lately. For example, he is staring at me as he walks by my desk and says "hello" or "how are you" smiling, he is watching and trying to approach me at company gatherings (but tries hard to make it look normal), he is smiling and looking deep in my eyes constantly as we do small talk, he is staring at me from the other corner of the room and follows me sometimes, and he even made a few awkward attempts to touch me casually. I have tried to open him up to me in the past by sending emails and asking his opinion or his help on something and for the past few weeks I am trying hard to crack a real conversation with him. He seems he is not getting it. I am at a point where I can not decide whether he is trying to imply he is not interested or he is just being a nice and shy soul. He has not replied my personal messages or held a personal conversation. He talks as long as I talk, but when I stop talking he is quiet, however he is not making excuses and leave. And he is not showing any signs of discomfort at all. Sometimes I feel like he is relaxing slowly, because there is a difference but he is not taking any steps towards me (or I can not catch it). Anyone help me understand this guy? How can you know for sure if they really really have something for you? He is not good at complimenting either, he just says things like "thank you" "this is really good" "I enjoyed it" a lot. I would also like to find out the best way to make him know it is allright to do something back? I know that these guys need time and they have their own ways of showing their feelings etc., but is there anything to accelarate things up? Like talking them straight about how you feel?

Scorp-in-law,
Thanks, I needed to hear that. Today I have read some many other posts telling the opposite side. I am just afraid of turning into one of them.
Would I be out of line if I ask you to give more detail and advice from your experience? This guy is so precious to me and I do not want to make any mistakes (although I am not good in holding myself either and I am preparing myself for a long emotional marathon). For example, what was his first reaction when you blurted it out? And after you started seeing each other officially, what did he tell you about the past two years (like the hints you were dropping, was he noticing any of them, and why he was not the one confessing first?) I am sorry if I am asking too much, I am just going nuts of being unable to see what's in his lovely head? Sigh...

"The delayed courtship forced us to observe, pay close attention, ask many questions, build trust, and develop and meaningful friendship long before any physical relationship could occur."

I should agree with that. When I say he is valuable to me, I say it because I like him as a person, as a friend. In fact, I feel like this will never change, even if we get into an intimate relationship. He will just be closer to me, and we will share more things. That's the description of a "relationship" for me.

His mumbles, blushes, goofy manners, the light in his eyes, the way he listens to me (like he is expecting some kind of precious thing to come out of my mouth), his mimics (he likes to mimic, I guess it is a common trait as well) and many other small things make me believe that there is something going on. Now, I feel more relaxed, at least I know I am not alone and I was not hallucinating. That's a start! 🙂

P.S. I think your Virguy is lucky to have you, too. You sound like a clever, insightful woman who knows what she wants.

Hi dyrstr8z,

Yes, that's what exactly I am hoping for.

I'm reading your past messages as well as others on the subject (congrats on hooking up with your ScorpioGal by the way). I especially liked your "Virgo" description series! I am new to this board but I am happy I discovered it, since in the past few weeks I have been really down on the ambiguous acts of my Virguy.

He is in his mid 30s, we work at the same place -but in different sections- and he is not in my level (only in hierarchy though, as far as the education, experience, an social status we are not that divided). Last Friday I suggested him to meet for a job related issue in writing. On Monday, we run into each other on the hallway but did not have a chance to talk. He followed me -as he usually does- and waited for me to say hi to him (to check my mood maybe, after that message, I thought he might be looking for a confirmation of what I was up to). Anyhow, I kind of ignored him (not really intended to do so but I am still not very comfortable talking to him when people around). Has not seen him after that and he has not replied yet. Most of the posts here say give them at least a week to respond. I am not in a hurry, but he is a very, very busy man and if he still has not responded after a week or so, I do not know how to take that. I guess I will try to check his attitude for a clue if I see him in the meantime.

I had some work to do in his section today and after I am finished I paid a quick suprise visit to him 🙂 I stopped by his desk, and said "Hi". He was calmly raised his head from his work, responded with a smile and said "Long time no see". Then he apologized for not being able to get back to me and said things at work have been pretty f...ed up lately (no, he has not used the word 🙂). I said "Oh no, I did not come for this... I just wanted to say hi and see how were you doing". He looked in my eyes and smiled quietly. His looks were curious. He seemed he was not sure what to say next. I told him some other stupid stuff I just made up there and left. I had actually planned to ask him to come with me for a break, but I was so agitated that I could not ask!!!

I had some work to do in his section today and after I am finished I paid a quick suprise visit to him 🙂 I stopped by his desk, and said "Hi". He was calmly raised his head from his work, responded with a smile and said "Long time no see". Then he apologized for not being able to get back to me and said things at work have been pretty f...ed up lately (no, he has not used the word 🙂). I said "Oh no, I did not come for this... I just wanted to say hi and see how were you doing". He looked in my eyes and smiled quietly. His looks were curious. He seemed he was not sure what to say next. I told him some other stupid stuff I just made up there and left. I had actually planned to ask him to come with me for a break, but I was so agitated that I could not ask!!!

dyrstr8z, this one is for you:

In your earliest posts, it catched my eye that there are only a few days between you finding about your soon-to-be wife's attraction to you and your first date with her. Isn't that a conflict? You did not take any time to think and analyze before you asked her out? I am confused a bit here.

With my guy: Today I saw him again and exchanged a few words but he seemed indifferent. (He seemed happy and confident though, after I made some nice comments about a recent project he was overseeing). However, I believe in what Scorp-in-law says, because I observed him carefully today and found out that I am the only one he is nervous around without any reason. (I remember once we were alone in the elevator for like 20 seconds and he was totally freakened)!

I also realized that he gets more nervous when I am the one approaching him. I find him relaxed and a bit more talkative when he comes to me. Can it possible mean anything? I guess he gets nervous and quiet because he starts analyzing me & the situation which he was not prepared for. On the other hand, he is comfortable when he is able to plan his moves, words etc. aforehand.

dyrstr8z,

I've been reading some more of your posts under other topics, and it's funny that there are a lot of similarities. The breakroom scenes that I play with him: the stare, him checking his phone or watch when I look at, him asking peers about me and me gathering as much info as I can about him before taking the next step (he does not know about most of it yet I already gave some hints like I knew his age, birthday, school, which part of town he lives in etc.). And like yor Deb, I am trying very hard to impress him with my hardwork in the office, my intellect, manners, the way I dress up etc... I guess I am on the right track! LOL

Thanks y'all, I feel much better & hopeful now. I am more determined than ever to go and get him 🙂 Although things may still not turn out as I wanted, it is nice to see there are others who know what I am talking about. I really appreciate all the advice and encouragement.

P.S. My favorite astrologer (and many others I checked) say that November & December will be my big time in terms of love & romance. She has been telling that I will find romance most likely through work since the beginning of the year too. We'll see 😉

Thanks y'all, I feel much better & hopeful now. I am more determined than ever to go and get him 🙂 Although things may still not turn out as I wanted, it is nice to see there are others who know what I am talking about. I really appreciate all the advice and encouragement.

P.S. My favorite astrologer (and many others I checked) say that November & December will be my big time in terms of love & romance. She has been telling that I will find romance most likely through work since the beginning of the year too. We'll see 😉

Run! He's crazy!!!

You decide that something is wrong with you, because he seems to be fine. When your friends tire of your same old never-ending story, you start looking for answers by reading books, scouring articles, and researching astrology resources. You realize you have hit rock bottom when you start to consult strangers on internet forums. Yet, you shamelessly continue your quest for answers. Because you know deep within your heart, that your eyes and instincts aren't deceiving you.

And the saddest part of that is you are competent in every other aspect of your life....Amazing intelligent and competent. Then you encounter the Virgo things are great at first, then he pulls back and you hit rock bottom thinking what in the he## is wrong with me...You know you've hit rock bottom when you start smelling your armpits lol! All the while he's dropping little hints and then disappearing.....

Then one day a light shines.....notice I said not an ultimatum but a light shines and he starts realizing how amazing you are and starts trying to act accordingly. Trust me WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE why do you think theres a virgo board in the first place....