He's just too aggressive

My friends and I were having girls talk and the subject of sex with someone who was overly or just not as aggressive as they would like came up. One had a sexual relationship with a guy who would tell her to stfu and not to touch her during sex where the other was in a romantic relationship and her bf was not aggressive at all. She wanted to be thrown on the bed, wanted to be choked and wanted her hair pulled. Well we all know some people are sensetive when it comes to their performance in the bedroom so how would you tell or like to be told to take it up/down a notch? If you were in this situation let us hear (read) your juicy stories!

It's all about communication. Literally just say what you need and then let the guy process that information. The unfortunate truth is women are going to come across guys that are either too aggressive or too passive, but rarely those in between. It's not hard to find a guy who will either care too much about your feelings or not at all. It can be tricky to find a guy who understands the balance.

Why? Guys aren't GIVEN this type of information. We generally have to figure things out ourselves. What we hear is that women want a "nice guy" who will be "sensitive" to their needs. This is in direct contrast to what guys learn from our peers (and even our experiences) which is, "women want assholes".

Likewise it's RARE for a guy to get the raw truth from a woman about what her true needs are. While there are exceptions to this rule, unless there is some anonimity (like that provided in a forum), most women don't feel comfortable divulging their base sexual desires the way men do.

Even my most open female friends have had difficulties expressing that they want a man who sometimes choke them then flip them over while pulling their hair back. Furthermore, men aren't mind readers. If a woman wants something, more than likely she'll need to speak up (depending on the guy's experience with women).

I actually encourage women that I dating to be open about their desires. The conversations become less awkward and more open the more comfortable the woman becomes.

Posted by Chuckcem
It's all about communication. Literally just say what you need and then let the guy process that information. The unfortunate truth is women are going to come across guys that are either too aggressive or too passive, but rarely those in between. It's not hard to find a guy who will either care too much about your feelings or not at all. It can be tricky to find a guy who understands the balance.

Why? Guys aren't GIVEN this type of information. We generally have to figure things out ourselves. What we hear is that women want a "nice guy" who will be "sensitive" to their needs. This is in direct contrast to what guys learn from our peers (and even our experiences) which is, "women want assholes".

Likewise it's RARE for a guy to get the raw truth from a woman about what her true needs are. While there are exceptions to this rule, unless there is some anonimity (like that provided in a forum), most women don't feel comfortable divulging their base sexual desires the way men do.

Even my most open female friends have had difficulties expressing that they want a man who sometimes choke them then flip them over while pulling their hair back. Furthermore, men aren't mind readers. If a woman wants something, more than likely she'll need to speak up (depending on the guy's experience with women).

I actually encourage women that I dating to be open about their desires. The conversations become less awkward and more open the more comfortable the woman becomes.

I couldn't agree more that communication is key! In the situations I provided they were afraid of saying something that would offend the person they were with. Well at least that is what the young lady said who is in the romantic relationship. She said she just did not know how to tell him what she wanted and did not want him to get offended because she enjoys it but she just wishes he was more aggressive.

Posted by Leobaby89

Posted by Chuckcem
It's all about communication. Literally just say what you need and then let the guy process that information. The unfortunate truth is women are going to come across guys that are either too aggressive or too passive, but rarely those in between. It's not hard to find a guy who will either care too much about your feelings or not at all. It can be tricky to find a guy who understands the balance.

Why? Guys aren't GIVEN this type of information. We generally have to figure things out ourselves. What we hear is that women want a "nice guy" who will be "sensitive" to their needs. This is in direct contrast to what guys learn from our peers (and even our experiences) which is, "women want assholes".

Likewise it's RARE for a guy to get the raw truth from a woman about what her true needs are. While there are exceptions to this rule, unless there is some anonimity (like that provided in a forum), most women don't feel comfortable divulging their base sexual desires the way men do.

Even my most open female friends have had difficulties expressing that they want a man who sometimes choke them then flip them over while pulling their hair back. Furthermore, men aren't mind readers. If a woman wants something, more than likely she'll need to speak up (depending on the guy's experience with women).

I actually encourage women that I dating to be open about their desires. The conversations become less awkward and more open the more comfortable the woman becomes.

I couldn't agree more that communication is key! In the situations I provided they were afraid of saying something that would offend the person they were with. Well at least that is what the young lady said who is in the romantic relationship. She said she just did not know how to tell him what she wanted and did not want him to get offended because she enjoys it but she just wishes he was more aggressive.

click to expand

I figured. Unfortunately that is tale as old as time. The honest truth is, depending on his confidence level, he may get offended or he may not. That's just a risk she'll have to take if she wants her sexual needs met. If your friend doesn't communicate, she may become bored and resentful. She may even slowly lose interest in her boyfriend. If she communicates her needs and the guy rebuffs them, then that's a different topic altogether. She'll need to speak up first though.

Granted I can understand that that your friend is looking to avoid making her boyfriend insecure. It's not always easy to find a guy who is 100% confident with himself in the bedroom. Since female sexual exploration is still very taboo, it can be weird for a woman to tell her partner, "I want to you to take me so hard that my eyes roll back in my head." This is especially true if the guy is a prude.

Fortunately there is more than one way for your friend to get what she wants. For example, if she wants to be choked during sex, she can simply take her boyfriend's hand and hold it to her throat as hard as she likes. We guys may not pick up on subtlety, but we'll understand physical direction. If she does that enough, he'll get the hint and do it on his own. In this way the guy will be too occupied getting the job done to worry about his sexual insecurities.

The same is true for your other friend with the opposite problem. However a man who is too aggressive may not have an emotional connection with the woman and therefore may not care about her needs. In this case I firmly suggest she verbally communicates her needs first. If the guy becomes too aggressive during the act, physical direction may not be enough to stop him.

Posted by Leobaby89
let us hear (read) your juicy stories!

https://www.rt.com/uk/406384-tinder-indecent-assault-sex/

Man convicted for ‘grabbing’ Tinder date’s breasts during consensual sex

A male medical graduate has been convicted of indecent assault after repeatedly grabbing his Tinder date’s breasts, even though the two were engaged in consensual sex.

Despite the woman consenting to sexual intercourse, Philip Queree, 37, was found guilty of indecent assault after reportedly grabbing at the victim’s breasts “really hard” to the point that the victim started crying and was in pain.

The victim, who said she was left bruised after the encounter, accused the then-trainee doctor of using “excessive force” after she had explicitly told him not to touch her breasts.

Queree, who studied medicine and surgery at King’s College, was convicted during a trial in August at Jersey Magistrates Court of one count of indecent assault, having entered a plea of not guilty.

In a written judgment, magistrate Bridget Shaw said: “I am sure that Miss X withdrew consent for Queree to grab her breasts.

“Queree knew this but continued to do so forcefully, causing the complainant considerable pain.

“This was an assault. Queree touched a sexual and intimate part of her body in a sexual manner without her consent.

“Irrespective of her consent to other sexual conduct, I am sure that the touching was in circumstances of indecency and thus Queree is guilty of indecent assault.”

The accused was also put on the Sex Offenders’ Register for the next five years amid concerns he would “pose a risk of sexual harm to others.”

He was also given 180-hours’ community service and was ordered to pay £2,000 ( $ 2,630) towards prosecution costs. Queree was also given a five-year restraining order stopping him from contacting the victim.

His barrister warned his prospective career as a doctor would crumble following the sentence.

Saying the case had “substantially ruined” the defendant’s life, David Steenson, defending, added: “Queree is in a parlous financial state, as he does not have a job.

“He has no savings. He has, essentially, been an academic most of his life.

“Going forward, he has little chance of getting work in the medical field as a result of this conviction.”

He added that his client intended to appeal against the conviction.

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Leobaby89

Posted by Chuckcem
It's all about communication. Literally just say what you need and then let the guy process that information. The unfortunate truth is women are going to come across guys that are either too aggressive or too passive, but rarely those in between. It's not hard to find a guy who will either care too much about your feelings or not at all. It can be tricky to find a guy who understands the balance.

Why? Guys aren't GIVEN this type of information. We generally have to figure things out ourselves. What we hear is that women want a "nice guy" who will be "sensitive" to their needs. This is in direct contrast to what guys learn from our peers (and even our experiences) which is, "women want assholes".

Likewise it's RARE for a guy to get the raw truth from a woman about what her true needs are. While there are exceptions to this rule, unless there is some anonimity (like that provided in a forum), most women don't feel comfortable divulging their base sexual desires the way men do.

Even my most open female friends have had difficulties expressing that they want a man who sometimes choke them then flip them over while pulling their hair back. Furthermore, men aren't mind readers. If a woman wants something, more than likely she'll need to speak up (depending on the guy's experience with women).

I actually encourage women that I dating to be open about their desires. The conversations become less awkward and more open the more comfortable the woman becomes.

I couldn't agree more that communication is key! In the situations I provided they were afraid of saying something that would offend the person they were with. Well at least that is what the young lady said who is in the romantic relationship. She said she just did not know how to tell him what she wanted and did not want him to get offended because she enjoys it but she just wishes he was more aggressive.

I figured. Unfortunately that is tale as old as time. The honest truth is, depending on his confidence level, he may get offended or he may not. That's just a risk she'll have to take if she wants her sexual needs met. If your friend doesn't communicate, she may become bored and resentful. She may even slowly lose interest in her boyfriend. If she communicates her needs and the guy rebuffs them, then that's a different topic altogether. She'll need to speak up first though.

Granted I can understand that that your friend is looking to avoid making her boyfriend insecure. It's not always easy to find a guy who is 100% confident with himself in the bedroom. Since female sexual exploration is still very taboo, it can be weird for a woman to tell her partner, "I want to you to take me so hard that my eyes roll back in my head." This is especially true if the guy is a prude.

Fortunately there is more than one way for your friend to get what she wants. For example, if she wants to be choked during sex, she can simply take her boyfriend's hand and hold it to her throat as hard as she likes. We guys may not pick up on subtlety, but we'll understand physical direction. If she does that enough, he'll get the hint and do it on his own. In this way the guy will be too occupied getting the job done to worry about his sexual insecurities.

The same is true for your other friend with the opposite problem. However a man who is too aggressive may not have an emotional connection with the woman and therefore may not care about her needs. In this case I firmly suggest she verbally communicates her needs first. If the guy becomes too aggressive during the act, physical direction may not be enough to stop him.

click to expand

So true! I tried the guidance method first and when that did not work, asked directly. unfortunately, that particular lover and my sexual needs did not sync so I was often left unfulfilled. My current SO is much better with direction. Direct communication can sometimes throw him off in the bedroom I've noticed however.

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by Chuckcem

Posted by Leobaby89

Posted by Chuckcem
It's all about communication. Literally just say what you need and then let the guy process that information. The unfortunate truth is women are going to come across guys that are either too aggressive or too passive, but rarely those in between. It's not hard to find a guy who will either care too much about your feelings or not at all. It can be tricky to find a guy who understands the balance.

Why? Guys aren't GIVEN this type of information. We generally have to figure things out ourselves. What we hear is that women want a "nice guy" who will be "sensitive" to their needs. This is in direct contrast to what guys learn from our peers (and even our experiences) which is, "women want assholes".

Likewise it's RARE for a guy to get the raw truth from a woman about what her true needs are. While there are exceptions to this rule, unless there is some anonimity (like that provided in a forum), most women don't feel comfortable divulging their base sexual desires the way men do.

Even my most open female friends have had difficulties expressing that they want a man who sometimes choke them then flip them over while pulling their hair back. Furthermore, men aren't mind readers. If a woman wants something, more than likely she'll need to speak up (depending on the guy's experience with women).

I actually encourage women that I dating to be open about their desires. The conversations become less awkward and more open the more comfortable the woman becomes.

I couldn't agree more that communication is key! In the situations I provided they were afraid of saying something that would offend the person they were with. Well at least that is what the young lady said who is in the romantic relationship. She said she just did not know how to tell him what she wanted and did not want him to get offended because she enjoys it but she just wishes he was more aggressive.

I figured. Unfortunately that is tale as old as time. The honest truth is, depending on his confidence level, he may get offended or he may not. That's just a risk she'll have to take if she wants her sexual needs met. If your friend doesn't communicate, she may become bored and resentful. She may even slowly lose interest in her boyfriend. If she communicates her needs and the guy rebuffs them, then that's a different topic altogether. She'll need to speak up first though.

Granted I can understand that that your friend is looking to avoid making her boyfriend insecure. It's not always easy to find a guy who is 100% confident with himself in the bedroom. Since female sexual exploration is still very taboo, it can be weird for a woman to tell her partner, "I want to you to take me so hard that my eyes roll back in my head." This is especially true if the guy is a prude.

Fortunately there is more than one way for your friend to get what she wants. For example, if she wants to be choked during sex, she can simply take her boyfriend's hand and hold it to her throat as hard as she likes. We guys may not pick up on subtlety, but we'll understand physical direction. If she does that enough, he'll get the hint and do it on his own. In this way the guy will be too occupied getting the job done to worry about his sexual insecurities.

The same is true for your other friend with the opposite problem. However a man who is too aggressive may not have an emotional connection with the woman and therefore may not care about her needs. In this case I firmly suggest she verbally communicates her needs first. If the guy becomes too aggressive during the act, physical direction may not be enough to stop him.

So true! I tried the guidance method first and when that did not work, asked directly. unfortunately, that particular lover and my sexual needs did not sync so I was often left unfulfilled. My current SO is much better with direction. Direct communication can sometimes throw him off in the bedroom I've noticed however.

click to expand

Correct. Dialogue can become distracting if your verbal cues need more explanation. Some guys take verbal direction well, but not all. So an open discussion before the act can go a long way. There's nothing wrong with talking during sex (men typically prefer it) as long as it's encouraging. Hence why physical cues/direction can help, depending on the guy's personality.

I personally enjoy vocal women. A woman who knows what she likes and is open to discussing it probably won't have any weird hang ups in the bedroom. I've been known to be creative, so I prefer a partner who is like minded.