Key to Water Men Hearts = Nonchalant

Key to Water Men's Hearts = Nonchalant

I have a theory that the key to getting into a water man's heart and mind and piquing the initial interest at the very beginning is to be nonchalant.

I see it with Pisces, Cancers, and Scorpio men.
Does anyone else notice this pattern? Or do you disagree?

Nonchalant meaning kind, polite but always keep it moving.

@ShadowAbsorber - Nice to see you again.
Don't worry it's just at the beginning. It's better to start light then get deeper or once securely in a relationship then go back and forth from hot to lukewarm (not full on cold). You sound scorned. Don't be. You just need to pace yourself with those affections not get rid of them completely. It seems counter-productive but I promise you you'll feel more control over you if you go back and forth and less like you're at the whims of someone else.

Posted by starlover
This applies to most or rather a lot of men

After I been around and with other signs. No. Not really.
Water men this gets damn near every time.

I wasdeliberately very cold with my cancer in the beginning and still. I am all about his emotions... whenever I show mine, he wants to either play with them or to run... The funny part of it is, when I met him he told me "he liked me because he could feel my emotions."

Same with my scorpio. He cant stand it when I express my feelings or get emotional, but both expect me to be there for them 100% .. Its so odd. And he finds women who overexpress their emotions stupid and childlike.

whats really odd to me is they both tell me Im "overemotional and sensitive."


I thought it was only my water sign men, but it looks to be a trend here.

I'm a virgo with a lot of pluto, 8th house and scorpio, a lot of water men "sense" the deeper emotions behind the cold exterior, it seems to be enough for them. My buddy a Capricorn female has the exact same issue, her guy is a pisces and lets just say she is the "therapist" in their relationship. oddly she and I both rely on each other for the emotional support we are not able to get from our men. haha

Hit or miss with all of them really.

Posted by Pearls
@ShadowAbsorber - Nice to see you again.
Don't worry it's just at the beginning. It's better to start light then get deeper or once securely in a relationship then go back and forth from hot to lukewarm (not full on cold). You sound scorned. Don't be. You just need to pace yourself with those affections not get rid of them completely. It seems counter-productive but I promise you you'll feel more control over you if you go back and forth and less like you're at the whims of someone else.

I totally agree, the nonchalant, almost clueless coldness towards their advances until they become super obvious... With me, I never notice until someone spells it out and draws pictures so it's very easy, and even then I'm super shy and distrustful of people's true emotions so I hold back until they are built up to 1000% . They surprisingly enough enjoy putting in all that effort

Idk, neither of my men like consistency, and being a virgo I'm naturally consistent. If I disappear because of my own emotions or take space it seems they are both desperate for my attention, on their best behavior spoiling me.

Yup, that's what Ive seen with cancers more than once. But if you let too much out, they freak out and think your nuts and will try and play with it even.. mine can get cruel with teasing... even if they are more emotional.

With my scorpio, he just changes the channel when he sees a woman cry, he finds weakness (as he calls it) a turn off. Ive taught him that if he is going to be soo vulnerable with me, hes got to allow me to be vulnerable with him, it doesn't come out of me all the time so when it does he deals with it a lot better now, though I know he still gets uncomfortable.

Pearls,

As a water sign woman (Pisces), I can only speak for myself but yes, I find that I do more with less. If a guy becomes too emotional I detach. Idk why but it just overwhelms me. I feel suffocated and then what follows are a bunch of thoughts and questions internally that I may not be prepared to answer.

I need things to build slowly, so for me this is very true.

I'm naturally non-chalant? We were talking about the dating site we met on, and went the gamit discussions of pictures, swiping left versus swiping right, catfishing, and then I said I could help him with new pictures to fluff his dating profile. This convo was weeks ago and I got the look:




But then I get this look on a constant basis so....

Posted by CocoKat
I wasdeliberately very cold with my cancer in the beginning and still. I am all about his emotions... whenever I show mine, he wants to either play with them or to run... The funny part of it is, when I met him he told me "he liked me because he could feel my emotions."

Same with my scorpio. He cant stand it when I express my feelings or get emotional, but both expect me to be there for them 100% .. Its so odd. And he finds women who overexpress their emotions stupid and childlike.

Yeah water men comes with that double standard.

Posted by CocoKat
I'm a virgo with a lot of pluto, 8th house and scorpio, a lot of water men "sense" the deeper emotions behind the cold exterior, it seems to be enough for them. My buddy a Capricorn female has the exact same issue, her guy is a pisces and lets just say she is the "therapist" in their relationship. oddly she and I both rely on each other for the emotional support we are not able to get from our men. haha

click to expand

It's nice that you two have each other has somewhat of an outlet. I'm a Cancer I can't do it.
It hit me awhile ago that with water men I would have to be the strong person to lean on.....LOL that is sooo not going to happen.

Posted by Pearls

Posted by CocoKat
I wasdeliberately very cold with my cancer in the beginning and still. I am all about his emotions... whenever I show mine, he wants to either play with them or to run... The funny part of it is, when I met him he told me "he liked me because he could feel my emotions."

Same with my scorpio. He cant stand it when I express my feelings or get emotional, but both expect me to be there for them 100% .. Its so odd. And he finds women who overexpress their emotions stupid and childlike.

Yeah water men comes with that double standard.

Posted by CocoKat
I'm a virgo with a lot of pluto, 8th house and scorpio, a lot of water men "sense" the deeper emotions behind the cold exterior, it seems to be enough for them. My buddy a Capricorn female has the exact same issue, her guy is a pisces and lets just say she is the "therapist" in their relationship. oddly she and I both rely on each other for the emotional support we are not able to get from our men. haha

It's nice that you two have each other has somewhat of an outlet. I'm a Cancer I can't do it.
It hit me awhile ago that with water men I would have to be the strong person to lean on.....LOL that is sooo not going to happen.

click to expand

Yes, it can be draining... My scorpios son (a gemini) has severe mental issues, dating a wonderful, intelligent attractive girl who also happens to be a pisces, she is ALWAYS dealing with HIS emotional issues. He has done nothing but complain about the few times she has cried and become emotional herself, which has happened fewer than a handful of times, hes totally ready to break up with her now.. He cant deal with her sensitivity either. I know ALOT of men regardless of sun sign who look down on women for being sensitive and emotional.. Todays standards are shameless and ridiculous for women. Im sick of being expected to behave like a 1950's stoic man in my relationships and so are most women I know.

Posted by OceanBoy88
Yes!!! That! But my definition of nonchalant was someone who was relaxed and almost unemotional. Regardless, my definition and yours really draws me in. It's the mysterious mind that I find attractive and the sweet sincerity that I can't help but notice.

hm you have air moon and air rising and who knows what else airy.

lol

it DEPENDS on the guy and his dominant energies.


EDIT basically if you are fire dominant, he will want someone who is fiery and child-like, like him.

but still SERIOUS.

consistency, with earth/water.


super airy, Always thinking and thnking and thinking and both of you talk alot so you get eachother ect.

Posted by thinktoomuch

Posted by starwars
for cancers, i think they just want to crack this "cold exterior" open thinking there will be more depth and emotions underneath, sometimes there is...other times there isnt -which may drive them crazy LOL

For me that goes for all men. Isn´t that what "the chase" is all about? Which also means, that many times they are just looking to see wether or not they can crack that cold exterior without having any real interest.

... Or possibly I´m just dead inside, since this have been my experience mostly 😄

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Yes, a lot of Leos and air signs do this, and God its so convincing.

I think its best if your a female these days to keep a good head on your shoulders, blame Hollywood for fairyland romances.. most men are not the knight in shining armor we hope for.