Pisces Woman needs help w Aries Man

When we had our first date we passionately kissed each other, and i've never felt anything like it before. As if we could feel each other's spirit.

The problem I have, is he has told me twice that he loves me when he was drinking and he doesn't remember... The first time he had tears in his eyes and was so sincere, and was also shy that the manager and bartender were watching us. I could feel that it was coming from a real place when i looked in his eyes. And i said, "it's okay, they are happy to see something beautiful." And then we kissed. We were in a jazz bar watching a live band. He took me there as a surprise because i'm a singer and love music. This was two weeks after our first date; our third date...

The next day he said he told his mom about me. and the first thing she said was, "attila, why can't you settle down with someone who has finished university and has her career already. I want to see my grandkids." He told me that he doesnt want that pressure his mom was giving him because he isnt financillay where he wants to be and hes not ready. But then he added because I'm 26 and hes 37, he'll be 40 when i start my career and he askes what if i leave him and hes old... and i said nooo i wouldnt do that babe. then he said how do u know. and i said because i want to be with you. then he aid reallly then i said yeah ten he said ok...

A few days later i see him and asks if he remembers saying something special to me at the bar. And he says no, what'd i say, wait, nvm i dont want to know. And i said really and hes like yeah dont tell me.
Now he's been hot and cold for a month and half. He would says things like, babe, bring some clothes over so you can be comfortable and then gets upset when i did, so i took them out. And one morning after i stayed over he said, "babe i should just give u a key... wait, what did i just say, haha" and walks away into the kitchen. Sometimes he's silly but also outspoken. So i just took it as being afraid of commitment.

Now I'm worried about how he feels about me, but i start to feel better again because for thanksgiving weekend he was at his sister's house for family dinner. And he had been drinking red wine and called me, we talked and before hanging up he said bye love, i love you love. And i said awww bye baby....

....CONT'D

.........CONT'D HERE

The next day i asked him if he remembers saying anything special to me, and he said no what do you mean. And i said it's something you said before but you didnt want to know. are you ready to know now? And he said sure. Then i said okay i'll tell u when we see each other. And he said ok.

Four days later, before we get to see each other so i could talk to him about the times he said i love you, he says baby i cant handle a relationship right now. I need to be selfish and focus on my financial goals. And adds that we are in different phases in our lives and it's his fault because he should've known better because our age gap is too much.

Now we've been on a break for almost 3 weeks and still havent seen each other. 2 weeks ago I asked what are we doing babe? and then he said being confused. and i said but im not confused babe i wanna be with u. and then he says the different phases talk again. Even though, we still call each other baby, babe, and we'll say goodnight to each other in bed before falling asleep. He also jokes about being celibate and never having sex again.

Last night, I asked him if hes had sex with anyone else since me and he says no. then i ask if he misses me and making love because i do and he says yes... But tonight he said babe, you know you can be with other guys right. and i said no i dont want to. And it hurt me that he could say that, even when he knows i dont want to be with anyone else but him. This saturday we are attending the same halloween party and we might go back to his place after. That was the plan last night and he was in favour for it to happen, but tonight when i referred to it. Thats when he mentioned that i could be wth other guys and then said its not set in stone and he doesnt want to be kidnapped...

the hot and cold is driving me insane, i take melatonin to sleep 😢

please, what do i do—

Sincerely,
Danielle

"he says baby i cant handle a relationship right now. I need to be selfish and focus on my financial goals. And adds that we are in different phases in our lives and it's his fault because he should've known better because our age gap is too much."

Hopefully you listened to that and took him seriously but for the most part he's 11 years older than you, he's no fool, he know he can't keep you at home, you have way too much life to live. You didn't seek an education to end up being anchored down with babies and marriage.

Get a grip okay, he's not the prize you are and if you keep falling for his bs you'll be a miserable unattractive mess. You have a significant amount of power in this relationship so just gently smile at him and enjoy yourself when you're with him, do not get caught up in his CONFUSION because it's his not yours, while he's being off and on you continue to be solid by keeping your feet on the ground, don't allow his confusion to turn you into a needy unattractive insecure mess because you do it'll surely HELP him end it with you. Keep a smile on your face which is very attractive, keep your feet planted firmly on the ground by reminding yourself how great you are and how lucky he is to have you and if you need a break, take a break.

While you're on the break from him pull yourself together and remember this Aries need reassurance so he'll bait you into these conversations to get reassurance you are only into him but don't make yourself a nervous wreck over this, Aries also need FREEDOM so he's going to appear into you only to turn around and imply you're free to do what you want because that is what he wants, he want to feel secure that you're his but he also doesn't want to be caged in and taken hostage, he doesn't want possessiveness so reassure him and don't worry about it.

He's pretty much said he can't handle a real relationship with you so RELAX, have fun and stop worrying about it, enjoy what you have and when it's over it's over.

Its hard to let go of someone you love but go ghost on that treefucker if he tries to contact you hes hurting and missing you. keep rejecting him it will drive him crazy. For him to even say that to you is very direct. Aries men are at high risk of cheating. Because they have dicks its easier to lose interest and more likely to cheat. Girls dont have dicks so were more sentimental with our body parts.

Posted by dtechniques

The problem I have, is he has told me twice that he loves me when he was drinking and he doesn't remember...

A few days later i see him and asks if he remembers saying something special to me at the bar.

The next day i asked him if he remembers saying anything special to me, and he said no what do you mean. And i said it's something you said before but you didnt want to know. are you ready to know now?

I'm unclear why you are using words to try and manipulate him.

He tells you very important things for you to use to make life decisions, such as - the age difference, and you just blow past that like it doesn't matter just so you can attempt to taunt him with words he's telling you drunk?

If a person has to be drunk to tell you that ... then you think you have to know attempt to force him into owning those words by constantly dangling something in front of him, calling them special, tyring to get him to take the bait?

When they are obviously NOT special if they aren't said sober?


what bullshit are you playing at?

Posted by dtechniques

..... get to see each other so i could talk to him about the times he said i love you ....

He says all kinds of things to you, to get the light to go off in your head .... like his mother not approving, the age difference, him being concerned about his career and finances, about his need to not be in a relationship at this time ... and you don't find any of things worthy of having a talk about and just blow past them as if they are irrelevant.

The important thing focused on your mind is to attempt to hold his words of, "I love you" hostage that he said drunk.

Posted by dtechniques

..... he says baby i cant handle a relationship right now. I need to be selfish and focus on my financial goals. And adds that we are in different phases in our lives and it's his fault because he should've known better because our age gap is too much.

2 weeks ago I asked what are we doing babe?

click to expand

He keeps trying to tell you that it's finished and this keeps flying over your head. Why would you ask him what's going on after he's told you that he doesn't want to be in a relationship?

Are you daft? Thick-headed or just plain stupid.


I mean seriously ... the guy tells has done everything he but come right out and hurt your feelings by telling being point-blank with you and you have no clue.

Or do you have a clue, and you're just trying to manipulate him for your own pleasure?

Posted by dtechniques

I asked him if hes had sex with anyone else ...

then i ask if he misses me ....

.... we might go back to his place after. That was the plan last night and he was in favour for it to happen ....

When I read how you worded this ... that he was in favour of the plan ... it made me think that it's your plan. Why would you say favour of it, if it wasn't your plan?

He breaks up with you, and you ask him if he's had sex with anyone and if he misses you?


The writing on the wall is very clear to me ..... you're playing on his feelings, and have no real desire to love this man.


Someone needs to pop your Fishy bubble .... you're completely submerged in the delusion

lol, alcohol.

Posted by ninjafish
I think you need to let it go... That's obviously what he's trying to do.

obviously .... what's not obvious is the other womens comments in here that suggest he's being deceptive