Sarinka_Moon
@Sarinka_Moon
16 Years
Comments: 5 · Posts: 218 · Topics: 7
Starting fresh—
Posted by fourthwallbreaker
If it really is friendship, then yes try it.
If it isn't, then let sleeping dogs lie,as they say.
We don't live in the same state so it's virtually impossible to stir up anything. PLUS we both have relationships.
What kinda girl do you think I am *humph* 😉
personally, i think your playing with fire if you try and maintain a friendship. it was the past, you guys said your peace to each other. Is it really fair to either of your current partners that you maintain a friendship that is as intense as you made it seem? it doesn't sound like you guys are truely making an attempt at a friendship, how is that possible with all the underlaying feelings? Just because you live in separate states really doesn't mean anything if there is that emotional connection that really you should be having with your current partner. would a friendship be a ccover up for the ture underlying feelings you guys have? that's a question to really ask yourself if that is possibe, to separate all the past you two share.
If you HONESTLY think that is possible for BOTH of you is the key question. Otherwise, you guys aren't being fair to your partners you have and should then be making a choice.
just food for thought 🙂
If you HONESTLY think that is possible for BOTH of you is the key question. Otherwise, you guys aren't being fair to your partners you have and should then be making a choice.
just food for thought 🙂
Posted by BaBy-GrL414
personally, i think your playing with fire if you try and maintain a friendship. it was the past, you guys said your peace to each other. Is it really fair to either of your current partners that you maintain a friendship that is as intense as you made it seem? it doesn't sound like you guys are truely making an attempt at a friendship, how is that possible with all the underlaying feelings? Just because you live in separate states really doesn't mean anything if there is that emotional connection that really you should be having with your current partner. would a friendship be a ccover up for the ture underlying feelings you guys have? that's a question to really ask yourself if that is possibe, to separate all the past you two share.
If you HONESTLY think that is possible for BOTH of you is the key question. Otherwise, you guys aren't being fair to your partners you have and should then be making a choice.
just food for thought 🙂
You make very valid points and I thank you for your input! 🙂
You asked if it was fair to our current partners that we maintain our friendship. I ask, is it fair to not maintain a friendship that started WELL BEFORE our current relationships did? Granted, things didn't work out for us, but does that mean we should just forget the great friendship we once had? He was my best friend for seven years BEFORE we started a relationship. And what if we never dated...would he be any less of a best friend now as he was then?
The intensity we have are experiencing is just what was left at a stand still years ago that has been uprooted as of late. Does that mean we will act upon them? No it doesn't.
You also mentioned if the friendship would be a cover up for any underlying feelings. Would those feelings go away if we don't attempt to maintain a friendship? Will those feelings cease to exist or make them worse?
And comparing our emotional connection to our current relationships holds no validity. That's like comparing a Chevy to a Ford. It's very hard to duplicate the same EXACT feelings to different people.
We have a past and we understand this, but our past consists of FAR more than JUST being two people that used to date.
I just want my best friend back...
Posted by Let*It*Be
"We know it cannot be fixed (we're both in relationships and he is about to be a father) and have come to terms with how the chips fell."
So the title of this thread "Starting Over—" would be redundant then wouldn't it?
Finish what you both have going on...other partners and a baby....first, then
get back to us.
I'm not sure I understand you...
I wanted to, "start fresh" with our friendship again...nothing more. Regardless of what's been said to each other (which is just us finally having our "closure" after all this time), I have no plans to steer him away from his present life and I have no plans to be steered away from mine.
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My bestfriend just so happens to be my ex. We met in HS. We were inseparable. Peas and carrots. Sun and Moon. Stars and space kinda stuff. We dated for YEARS, fell out, fell back in, etc etc. The last time we got back together, it was beyond amazing...moved in together...started a life together...just happy. However...we had a VERY bad falling out that broke us up. I didn't reach out to him to try to salvage the friendship and when I saw him a few times in passing...no words. I was still mad (and so was he).
So years pass and I just so happen to take an opportunity that presented itself to extend an olive branch and learned that we were BOTH at fault for our break-up. How did I not know that is due to a bit of a communication problem we had in the past. Ever since we opened the lines of communication, we've been dishing out the pinned up feelings we locked away (we NEVER had the "talk" after all this time). We know it cannot be fixed (we're both in relationships and he is about to be a father) and have come to terms with how the chips fell. However, he IS my FIRST love, my soul mate (ironically enough) and will always a place in my heart that NO ONE can touch. After these conversations we've been having, he said the same of me as well (among other things that I don't care to disclose to the public).
Now...my issue is this...we both have expressed an overwhelming flood of emotions now that we are back in touch and had to take a few steps back to catch our breaths (it's been VERY intense convos). I want to try to be friends. I would actually love to become best friends again, but I don't want the feelings that we are experiencing to get in the way of that. If you're wondering if I still love him. The answer is yes, however, I am not IN love with him. 10 years of friendship, love and everything in between can't even be erased by death.
Is it a bad idea to try to pursue our friendship again? I mean, this was my ace boon coon growing up and the feeling that I'm getting at the thought of solidifying our friendship makes me feel REALLY good.
FYI: He's a Cancer and I'm a Cancer *cosmic* LOL!