Am i in the 'friend zone'

I hope someone can help me as its driving me crazy.

Ive been talking to a guy online for 16 months now, We flirt with each other a lot, we have met each other and spent the night together and got on really well, sometimes he can be quite romantic towards me and other times quite distant,

We tell each other everything, and talk for hours a few times a week, followed by a phone call, he tells me he likes me and im a very sexy woman, but, thats as far as he goes to showing any emotion towards me, he is a very shy guy, but sweet with it, i like him a lot, but he calls me his friend, do you think thats all i am to him? Were in our 30's.

How often do you hang out?
I would ask him.

Although, it sounds like a casual relationship to me. I think some guys like to take it slow because girls tend to get emotional too fast. And maybe thats what you are seeing. I dont think you have gieven enough info. to get a good answer though.

i agree with sagittarian, perharps the guy just wants to take things slow, perharps you can be the initiater, because i know some of my guy friends have told me that they often want the woman to make the first move, if they don't want to lose in the sense of pride or confidence if they get rejected.

We dont hang out together as we live in different countrys, we would like to meet more but its just not possible, yes, your correct, i have developed feelings for him,after 16 months its hard not too.

im just confused how he can tell me he wants me, then call me his friend! he knows i like him a lot, he just seems to show no emotion.

yeah, usually when a guy says something like,"i only see u as a friend", then he means it. men are simpler in that regard. that's not ALWAYS the case of course (i know this from experience) but it seems in ur case that it is what it is.