Am I in the wrong?

I have a friend who I have interest in but it’s really nothing more and I told him from the start I wasn’t looking for a relationship because I had just got out of one.

I’m very secretive around my friend like I don’t really open up to people and I find it hard to trust people like it takes me ages to bring down this wall and if I try a little bit I feel so vulnerable because I’m insecure and scared of rejection... I am like this with everyone.

Anyway, my friend he’s very much of a sociable guy he has a lot of friends and is the life of the party person whereas I am that way but I’m very closed when someone tries to get to know me and he’s been trying to get to know me and I just won’t let him in.

He has called me continuously and reaches out to me and I never ever call him or initiate conversation with him, so he got annoyed with me about it and said that he’s giving up trying.

It’s been a week since we last spoke and I’m thinking to call him but I’m feeling nervous. Do you think I should just reach out to him? Am I in the wrong? I struggle with ringing people first just in case they ignore me and decide to not call me back and it hurts for days after... I know it sounds stupid but that’s how I am and I struggle with it which is why I never initiate conversation with people really. I always feel like a burden.

Posted by Timon

Me friend is pisces with scorpio moon and she overanalyze everything. It's not such a big deal. You have to learn to let your guard down and go with the flow a little. 😉

Everyone tells me that I am always overthinking and sometimes things aren’t what it seems but it’s so hard not knowing the unknown and putting yourself in a position to potentially get hurt it’s almost like a deep fear of mine lol ☹️

Posted by Aquarelle

You can't change who you are. It is what it is.

This guy obviously likes you. He just doesn't seem to have the patience you need, judging from the fact that he said he stopped trying. He could als have said that to get you to reach out to him, which would be a bit manipulative imo, but also honest.

Do you like him? If so, call him. How do you know he will reject you? It might not even happen. Sometimes our minds can be our worst enemies, thinking of doom secanrio's that might never happen.

You haven't failed if he doesn't call you back. Leave a message, ask him to call you back and give it some time. He may call you back later. People have lives, it doesn't mean that you failed. Maybe you should look into that fear. see where it is coming from. And this guy just needs to be a little bit more patient with you. You can tell him that you need time to make up your mind. It's no big deal if he really likes you.

Thank you hun for your perspective. He’s very honest, he’s told me that he is still dating around and he’s looking for someone special. My sister asked him if he saw a future with me he said he doesn’t know yet but I felt embarrassed when my sister asked that because I genuinely don’t want to be with him in that way I just wanted us to be friends and even though we are I feel so insecure all the time still, I’m like this in all my relationships or whenever I know a guy likes me I’ve been like this from the age of 12! I remember playing kiss chase at school was so scary for me lol because I didn’t like the fact a boy would kiss me 😂 but thank you so much. I’m going to just bite the bullet and call him tomorrow in the evening and see how it goes

Posted by Aquarelle

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by Aquarelle

You can't change who you are. It is what it is.

This guy obviously likes you. He just doesn't seem to have the patience you need, judging from the fact that he said he stopped trying. He could als have said that to get you to reach out to him, which would be a bit manipulative imo, but also honest.

Do you like him? If so, call him. How do you know he will reject you? It might not even happen. Sometimes our minds can be our worst enemies, thinking of doom secanrio's that might never happen.

You haven't failed if he doesn't call you back. Leave a message, ask him to call you back and give it some time. He may call you back later. People have lives, it doesn't mean that you failed. Maybe you should look into that fear. see where it is coming from. And this guy just needs to be a little bit more patient with you. You can tell him that you need time to make up your mind. It's no big deal if he really likes you.

Thank you hun for your perspective. He’s very honest, he’s told me that he is still dating around and he’s looking for someone special. My sister asked him if he saw a future with me he said he doesn’t know yet but I felt embarrassed when my sister asked that because I genuinely don’t want to be with him in that way I just wanted us to be friends and even though we are I feel so insecure all the time still, I’m like this in all my relationships or whenever I know a guy likes me I’ve been like this from the age of 12! I remember playing kiss chase at school was so scary for me lol because I didn’t like the fact a boy would kiss me 😂 but thank you so much. I’m going to just bite the bullet and call him tomorrow in the evening and see how it goes

You are welcome!

I can imagine yuo feeling embarrassed by what your sister did. If someone else asks for you, you cannot control how that conversation goes or what is being said. You can if you have the conversation yourself, right? And he may want to get to know you a bit better first before he can say if he sees a future with you. Maybe you are both the same in that way?

Aww...sorry for you "kiss experience"at school....at that age, girls can be so insecure....it's normal!

Good for you that you will call him! Do you want to give him a chance? Maybe it's good to think about what you really want from him? And tell him that honestly?

Because now you two are friends, but he seems to want more, is that right? The fact that he may be interested, doesn't mean you have to be interested in that same way, you know. You don't have to be, it's totally ok. No pressure.

You got this!

https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohs7Lritd0sWg5JE4/giphy.gif<div class="bqfade">click to expand

Thank you babe!

He’s a Virgo and Sagittarius moon with Scorpio Venus, he moves very fast like instantly he was talking about relationships etc but did admit that he has few females that he dates but he’s not really interested in them. He’s so open and honest.

The reason I think he will ignore me is because he told me last week I don’t appreciate him and he’s going to give up trying, and he doesn’t like the fact that I don’t open up to him. So I genuinely see him giving up on me now lol.

Yes, I like him a lot and I am attracted to him but I feel bad because only a month ago I split up with my ex and he asked me about my ex and why we split up and he wants to know all these things and I never ever told him I lied and said I haven’t been in a relationship for a year because I didn’t want to sound like a whore lol. I’ve slept with this friend of mine twice by the way so I feel really stupid because it wasn’t meant to happen. Ugh I’m a mess really. But you’ve given me a confidence boost God bless you thank you so much you’ve really put a smile on my face this whole week I’ve just been at my wits end overthinking things and my emotions are so heavy. I’ve had a little mediate as well and it’s opened up my eyes to see that I am overthinking and even if he does ignore me I won’t look stupid at all.

Yes, you are!

Yes you are

Reach out to the guy or you could lose any chance to be with him

Be brave!

Posted by peachy06

How is it it's so hard for some of you, to make a decision ? Either you want it or not. It's simple.

I do want him but I don’t want a relationship but I don’t want to not have him in my life and I don’t want to do too much at the same time and be overbearing lol

Posted by peachy06

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by peachy06

How is it it's so hard for some of you, to make a decision ? Either you want it or not. It's simple.

I do want him but I don’t want a relationship but I don’t want to not have him in my life and I don’t want to do too much at the same time and be overbearing lol

You don't sound like you do. If you want him, you might want a relationship with him, otherwise you don't.

click to expand

I know it seems that way but I genuinely like him but I’m scared to enter in to a relationship because I don’t feel ready for one. I just want him there, as bad as it sounds.

I learned in my 20s to never allow a man to harass me into dating him.

It's probably in your best interest to start being very direct.

Examples:

I'm not attracted to you.

You're not on my to do list.

We aren't compatible.

I'm living my best singles life.

Etc etc

Posted by sweetpea2977

I learned in my 20s to never allow a man to harass me into dating him.

It's probably in your best interest to start being very direct.

Examples:

I'm not attracted to you.

You're not on my to do list.

We aren't compatible.

I'm living my best singles life.

Etc etc

The thing is I AM very much attracted to him like he’s literally my type to a T but I’m not ready for a relationship and I feel like at first he was rushing a relationship but because I’m taking things slow he decided to just stop making effort because I was being long.

Why not be honest? I like you as only a friend. I think that’s the right thing to do. You know how much it sucks to be in his position. Ya know, waiting to find out the guy actually doesn’t want anything with you and wastes your time.

I listened to advice, he came over and he told me that he feels like I don’t love him as much as he loves me. I told him that isn’t true and I appreciate him a lot, so I’m going to try and make effort now.