Choices

Hello everyone! So it seems lately that I've been encountering the same scenario and I really want to know why.

Case #1- Female in her late 30's is dating a guy in his early 20's the guy has one child. They are having a FWB relationship, she pops up pregnant tells the guy and he promptly tells her that he doesnt want anymore children and if she keeps the baby she is on her own. She decides to have the baby.

Case #2- Female (age unknown) is dating a guy in his late 20's. They are also having a FWB relationship but she knows that he has two children, the last of which is a new born. She pops up pregnant only to be told basically the same thing.

***My Question*** Why would a female choose to have a child by a man she's not seriously involved with, basically she is carrying the baby of a stranger. Why would a female choose to have a baby by a man who has stated that he doesnt want you or the baby? I've asked around and people just shrug their shoulders so I'm bringing this to the Board in hopes that maybe someone has experienced this first hand and can offer a concrete explanation. Any input is greatly apprciated. Thanks!

I havent experienced this, but heres my 2cents worth:

Why would a female choose to have a baby by a man who has stated that he doesnt want you or the baby?

It seems that some females are attaching themselves to men/boys for the the general purpose of having someone in their lives, living on hope that he will fully want her/fall in love with her as his own, or figuring having a baby will make the man stay. People are lonely and are settling for the 1st thing that comes there way.

Women are jumping into these fwb situations with blinders on and apparently without condoms... because down the line its the woman that usually get more emotional involved than the man, the man sees it as a good time, but the woman has another hidden agenda.

Yeah agreed, it's been happening forever where the woman traps the man by geting pregnant but more and more these days because of the times (hardship and lack of morals) men wont settle down. Years passed they would allow this trap and stay to support the woman.

Men seem to have too much options these days, it's not hard at all to score anymore so why settle unless she bowls you over— As I say to my girls...why buy the cow if the milk comes free!

Unfortunately, this just happened to me. NOOO! I am NOT pregnant. Someone I had been seeing moved to another state, messed with some random chick and yes, she is pregnant. That was the deal breaker for me, so I had to walk away from that bs. I blame him 100% for his stupidity, but I can't help but wander what women would seriously want to have a baby by a guy she had known less than 6 months— I was deeply hurt by this, but it did not take away the fact that I would not cheapen myself and be with him anymore. He made his bed hard, now he has to lay in it for the rest of his life.
(@ Loveage aka Chocolate, yes, it was the Leo, that's why I said to you it was OVER, and that some things were deal breakers for me!)

Agreed^^^
I've seen this and really it enrages me. How freaking classy.
I knew a girl that told her FWB that she was on birth control(she wasn't). Was he stupid for not wearing a rubber? Yep. She was always on his ass for a relationship and he was really trying to get rid of her (yet he'd get drunk and guess who he'd call for fun).
Anyway now they are married with 2 "accidents". He hates her. She hates him. They cheat on each other all the time though they both get jealous as hell and beat the crap outta each other if they find out about an affair.

It's just not worth it PLUS it's super pathetic. You can't get a man on your own so you trap him. Hmmmmm... oh yes. How romantic and alluring. 😛

Maternal instincts plain and simple. Whether he chooses to be around or not is beside the point, they are getting on at 30 with the whole biological clock issue and would rather have a child than go without.

How sad that it has come to this.

I love how this is the woman's fault.

What about HIM? Maybe he should try strapping it down? Obviously she knows what she wants (because she did what she did) and he is supposed to know what he wants too right? So if that's NOT to have a baby..in order to avoid that whole 'baby' problem maybe he should have used a condom?

Really - more often than not the only person trapped is the child. Notice how in BOTH situations, YES the man was taken by suprise, and asked to participate in the responsibility that BOTH man and woman aquired together.

But funny it is how both men had the "choice" of simply getting up and leaving the situation, and its the woman who is left alone to be both mommy and daddy? Why? Because she made a selfish mistake? So now her and the baby both have to pay for it? I understand not wanting to be in a relationship, but to get up and leave is b**ch made.

Hmm... must be nice.

I think both are equally at fault, people HELLO— It takes two to tango. Fault should not be relinquished from either sex, they both knew what they were getting into.

Now back on topic**
One reason, moral obligation- i.e. religion plays a big role in this since most are against the act of abortion. But what Archer said was right too, mainly due to the female instinct.

There are a LOT of idiots out there and they're the only ones that seem to breed like rabbits... wonder why. 😛

Ok... just for arguments sake...

If the couple decide on a FWB agreement meaning they both agree to sleep with each other without expectations of a relationship and the woman becomes attactched emotionally, lies about birth control and ends up preggo thinking the man will commit isn't that more on the womans shoulders?
Don't get me wrong the guy is a major idiot if he doesn't use proper protection BUT he thinks there is an understanding and it won't go as far as her getting knocked up. Shouldn't the woman be mature and adult enough to tell him the truth instead of lying and tricking him?
IDK.... I've seen it and it's disgusting. The guy was a jerk for not wearing a condom considering she kept asking for a relationship. I personally saw it coming.

I dont think a woman should have a child by a man who doesnt want you or the baby. Plain and simple. With the exception of married couples, a single man sees his child as an extension of the feelings he has for the mother. These two situations are about the same guy. He now has three children by three different women. The difference is that he is there for his first child, emotionally and financially. His family is also heavily envolved in the childs life. I think this is because the guy and his family really like the mother of his first born. The other two "baby mommas" kind of fall off. He takes care of them financially I suppose. But he loves the mother of his first child, he wanted his first child and so the relationship is completely different. Men will be men. It doesnt make it right but females need to have better standards.

Women have been trying to trap men since time began, through pregnancy ... this isn't a new concept.


I feel sorry for the child ... it is going to be smothered by an overbearing mother.



If a woman is so desperate to be loved and wanted that she would attempt to trap a man in order for her to feel loved and wanted ..... so now here's a child, who cannot escape and has no choice except to provide to its mother all this attention she lacks.

I agree Ms. Pisces Tell your male friend to see a lawyer and have papers drawn up. Its possible. I also dont think a woman should expect child support from a man who told you up front that he doesnt want kids. If you decide to have a baby knowing he doesnt want it, then go on your own and handle your business.

I know what you're saying Aqualeo. Yeah men aren't stupid but if I were in their shoes I'd never dream that a woman would go as far as to lie about being on birth control so she can get knocked up to get me to stay. The guy in question isn't all that bright though 😛
Isn't that the kicker. A not to bright Dad and a crazy lying mommy. Poor kids.

"No such thing as trapping, except for maybe if the woman puts a hole in the condom."

LOL OMG I'm serious when I say I know a girl who did that. To be fair they were married but he didn't want kids. She also would put eye drops in his drinks when he pissed her off (it gives you the squirts).
Its the area I live in 😛 Girls around here think that having kids will settle a man down. Usually it does because the men are expected to "man up" and take responsiblity.
I'd never ever sink to that level. Whenever I had problems with guys in the past some of the girls around her would suggest that I try to have a baby with them. Um nope. I want kids when I'm married and we both agree that the time is right.