Texting - on call 24/7 Handy tool or TROUBLE??

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by sweethearts on Friday, April 3, 2009 and has 26 replies.

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@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

One thing I've noticed is that these days everyone opts for texting instead of phoning, personally I feel it leaves alot of room for doubt and mixed messages as men & women see/read things differently.

A sign of the times maybe....but it's a lazy form of dating and it seems to be allowing the guys to use this tool as a BOOTY CALL more than to actually get back to basics and learn to communicate. As if these guys need any less encouragement on talking to us!

Not to mention sneaky texts to someone that you desire whether they are in a relationship or not, heard of soooo many people being caught out from spouses checking their partners phones etc.

Do you think this adds to the break down and lack of respect/communication there is out there these days?

Profile picture of stormy31
@stormy31
18 YearsLibra

I texted all the time . Some people call u to breath in ur ear, that's the only way I will respond to alot of people cuz they call an don't want to talk about nothing. So they r forced to get to the point by texting.

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@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

With friends texting is good, you do get to the point but with guys, if they are breathing in your ear at least it's putting them on the spot to actually communicate for real. How is it then when you meet up with them, do they have anything to say or do they just look at you? At some stage there has to be open communication dont you think...unless it's only sex and you want nothing more!

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@Bena73
17 Years

"One thing I've noticed is that these days everyone opts for texting instead of phoning, personally I feel it leaves alot of room for doubt and mixed messages as men & women see/read things differently." = "lack of communication".

That is so true. Depending on the message, you don't get or feel where the person is coming from.
You know the old saying: you can hear it in the his or her voice.

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@Bena73
17 Years

"Not to mention sneaky texts to someone that you desire whether they are in a relationship or not, heard of soooo many people being caught out from spouses checking their partners phones etc."

AMEN....

That was happening all thru out March 2009 and all hell broke loose. All the argueing, fighting and the break-ups were unreal. I know 2 married couples that split-up in March due to the "sneaky Texting"... ;{

Profile picture of sweethearts
@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Yeah, I've decided that I'm going to rule it out with the next guy that I'm interested in. I think the thrill of ringing someone and breathing in their ear as stormy says was part of the excitment. You aren't sure what to say but you know you just want to hear them! Of course I'd have to hit it on the head as one of the rules of dating! lol

You read some of the threads here and couples are in trouble with their romances and they are texting each other to get the point across— WTF—

I guess if I'm doing that it's a COP OUT, easy to text and send it through and not face up to it. Still I guess it's going to continue this way more and more and eventually we will become like robots, swallowing pills for food and all dressing the same.

Profile picture of sweethearts
@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

It comes second to nature with the Y generation and there isn't anything wrong with texting in general, but think that somethings shouldn't be texted... for instance texting to inform someone that someone close has died!! Discussing the breakdown of the realtionship and whether to fix it or not. IMO of course

Profile picture of Chatz
@Chatz
19 Years1,000+ Posts

I think texting and msn and other chat programs can leave the other person wondering how things are meant. Ive known of relationships to break down because of a lost translation and the other person thinking there was hostility rather than what was intended.

Going back to basics wouldnt be such a bad idea but having said that, I do text a lot, mostly in reply to texts sent to me.

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@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

I text alot too but have learnt that it doesn't help in an intimate relationship where you want the person to feel you and visa versa.

i truely beleive it's a lazy form of communication cos it certainly isn't much cheaper than a call esp if you have to text back several times to get the point across.

Profile picture of Gingerscorp
@Gingerscorp
17 Years1,000+ Posts

I know guys like that! It's so funny. MY cousin is a goofball and he lets his beard grow out. It's so funny looking!!
I'm an Irish/ German gal. Whew. Temper temper temper and then for good measure I hold grudges. LOL I can't decide if it's the Scorp or the German in me. LOL

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@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Maybe it's the German because my mother doesn't have much of a temper or it dont show much, she gets hurt and gives me the crocodile tears to get what she wants, both to me and my step dad...but we are on to her now!

BUT the grudges...yep that'l be a scorp thing! And the silent treatment...mostly though she comes back to make peace with me 80% of the time BUT will NEVER ADMIT IF SHE IS WRONG... where I have learnt to.

Profile picture of sucha_d0ll
@sucha_d0ll
17 YearsCancer

Although this thread isn't super new... I just want to say THANK YOU Sweethearts!

I have felt this ever since texting came into the dating world (right along with eff'n myspace)and totally thrashed the old school art of courtship!

i hate text message drama. wtf happened to a voice on the phone? texting can be so passive agressive...

Profile picture of sweethearts
@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Hey SD,

I put this up because it was the initial breakdown of my last relationship...and I dont get a chance at many of those so decided with the next guy I'm interested in I would set the ground rules of NO TEXTING for communication! I'm not anti-text as I use it everyday with my children & friends, wouldn't use it for business as i dont think it's proffessional(in my line of work) but have had appointment reminders etc.

I also think alot of women/gents here should also consider the same. I read alot of broken relationship through here and cant believe it when they say...

we talked about why he was giving me the hot/cold treatment or why he wants to go down that road or why he wants to call it quits blah blah blah and then as you read on it's being talked about THROUGH TEXT!!!!!! OMG and they think that is talking!?!?!?? They are even fighting through text!! Go figure!