Friends With Benefits

I just had my eyes opened !!!!
I must be very "Old Fashioned"
Half of my friends are sleeping with each other just to satisfy "Urges" LOL

Damn, I cant imagine sleeping with ANY of my friends coz theyre, well, "Friends"

I really do need to get out more lol

It's why normal relationships don't work anymore...if people are getting laid left, right and centre, what is the point of commitment..

I could never ever sleep with a friend...

Posted by missmorals
It's why normal relationships don't work anymore...if people are getting laid left, right and centre, what is the point of commitment..

Surely you aren't implying that the point of commitment is to be able to have sex?

Posted by DepressedAngel
We are victim to forces which re-shape whole societies. Half of all marriages dissolve in the first few years.

I'm sorry DepressedAngel, but I don't agree. You saying having more choices than what was perviousely allowed within our religous, puritan societies somehow makes us into monsters? People have always been talking about "bad times ahead", even in the 50s and the 60s when a change was at the door. I don't see any bad times, I see more tolerance. Unfortunately those people talking about bad times ahead are usually the ones making all the trouble. They are reactionaries who can't stand the freedom others are enjoying, because they have personal issues themselves. You say hedonist, I call you old-fashioned.

I think there is plenty of good-will in the modern society. There's a lot of understanding between people, only difference being that we don't settle for less. That doesen't make us narcisistic. And what's wrong with commodity? Must life be complicated all the time? As for myself, when someone says that they love me I want them to say it because they have all the freedom in the world NOT to love me, and not because we're "destined to get married, buy a house we can't afford, have kids" and die a little bit deep down inside, all in the name of the good Lord. Such crap!

Altough I agree that the commercialism is getting quite distrurbing. Apart from that, I don't believe in hedonism nor narcisism when it comes to personal well-being. And I hate when people talk of sex in religious terms. We are meant to enjoy sex and that's what we're doing today, because you have the freedom to choose if you want a relationship, FWB or one-night stand...without being called hedonist.

You can either have a peaceful and quiet society wher everybody are repressed by principles and religious codes, or you can have a society in chaos where we're all on the same level. I perfer chaos.

@OFA: Well if the guy ain't on the same level (sexually?) as the girl, I don't see the point in him having to beg for it all the time, and her having to listen to him begging. If anything, she should break it off first.

I know many like to say that you can't keep running every time something doesen't fit the puzzle. But it all depends on what you are looking for? Some people can run forever while others will compromise or settle for less. I don't understand this mentality that everything has to be endured, that life ain't that simple. Yes it is, and that's the beauty of it. You don't like something, change it. It's called freedom. Christ, this is not the "Little House On The Praire".

I dont think FWB works for most women....we're not wired that way, although, yes there are some who can deal with it. Most though, get attached to the person we're sleeping with but having said that, I guess anything goes these days, Im just not too happy doing it myself.

The real problem is that with freedom comes anxiety. The fear of truly being the master of your life, and risk failing on your own terms. Simple as that.

"all in the name of the good Lord. Such crap!"
LMAO

We're all screwed. lots of kids are out there having unsafe sex, giving birth to diseases and passing it around like hot potatoes.

Posted by Dogs
I just had my eyes opened !!!!
I must be very "Old Fashioned"
Half of my friends are sleeping with each other just to satisfy "Urges" LOL

Damn, I cant imagine sleeping with ANY of my friends coz theyre, well, "Friends"

I really do need to get out more lol

At the end one has to live the life that is best for him/her. Make your own rules, do what's best for you. Do what brings out the best in you. Happiness is not within a social setting, happiness is always within yourself no matter what type of setting you're in, you have to be at peace with yourself and that's what will bring you happiness. In the 60's/70's there were groups (Hippies) who lived the care free uncommitted type life and they weren't any happier than some in a committed setting. People in general aren't happier now then they were back then. However throughout times, there have always been happy individuals. That alone proves that sex is just one out of so many needs us humans have that needs to be satisfied. Choosing a life style that satisfy only one or two of them is not the wisest thing to do. So if sleeping with friends is what will lead them to happiness, all you can do is to wish them well.

Posted by irishlibraiskatie
what is simple is that you are not a woman so you dont know.....

Please give me the woman's point of view, I seem to be lacking some education on the subject. Let me guess, women are nurturers and therefore they can't have casual sex? Yeah, I was saying that women are "nurturers by nature" in an other thread recently, and darn near got my head bitten off. It seems that women morf into nurturers when it's conveniant in a discussion, but otherwise their nurturing side is socially imposed on to them. All depends on what we're discussing, causal sex or women's rights.

I'm well aware of the difference between men and women on the subject of one-night-stands and FWB, but you need to stop making it into a women's issue when in fact it's about you and your personal view. Stand for it instead of trying to impose it on to other women. Either way you feel about it, all I'm guilty of is promoting individual freedom, whatever that may be. Why is it considered that women are right in this isssue and men are simply pigs because they can sleep around with no strings attached?

Love that show 😉

You no what's more lonely and than a fwb? A relationship created by people out of fear of being alone. < That's the lowest of the low.

You really wanna see a women disrespect herself it's that.

Yeah, the notion that the society is getting out of hand is the oldest story in the book. Every generation says that.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Please give me the woman's point of view, I seem to be lacking some education on the subject. Let me guess, women are nurturers and therefore they can't have casual sex? Yeah, I was saying that women are "nurturers by nature" in an other thread recently, and darn near got my head bitten off. It seems that women morf into nurturers when it's conveniant in a discussion, but otherwise their nurturing side is socially imposed on to them. All depends on what we're discussing, causal sex or women's rights.

it is my informed opinion that women have been socially conditioned to be "nurturers". so yes, there is some validity in the idea that women have the mindset of a nurturer. but people of either sex can be nurturing if they have the right opportunities and experiences to learn to be. 😉

Posted by enfant_terrible
I'm well aware of the difference between men and women on the subject of one-night-stands and FWB, but you need to stop making it into a women's issue when in fact it's about you and your personal view. Stand for it instead of trying to impose it on to other women. Either way you feel about it, all I'm guilty of is promoting individual freedom, whatever that may be. Why is it considered that women are right in this isssue and men are simply pigs because they can sleep around with no strings attached?

click to expand

i agree with this. if other people want to have a lot of sex, and that brings them happiness, then they are entitled to do so. it's all about knowing what works for you.

FWB = BCP + WLM + BWBB

Friends With Benefits = Birth Control Pill + Women's Liberation Movement + Boys Will Be Boys

BCP meant that women could have sex without fear of unwanted pregnancy.

WLM empowered women to compete with men in every arena of life, including the sex game.

BWBB is the traditional male sexual role - fuck every chance you get! - and BCP & WLM have merely increased the odds.

FWB is as real a concept as the Easter Bunny... uh, it's women who are still getting fucked out there...

Enjoy!!

Humans are sexual creatures by nature, I dont see anything wrong with fwb. Its all good until someone catchs feelings, and then its bound to get ugly. Disgression should still be used however, I wouldnt be comfortable being with a chick thats been around the block, Im pretty selective with who I sleep with and I would expect her to be the same.

No offense, DW23, but the hypocrisy on this thread is more than I can tolerate...

The whole basis of the FWB arrangement is: I'm Okay With Casual Sex, & You're Okay With Casual Sex, so Let's Fuck!

If one or both "friends" has some arbitrary threshold for the other's number of sexual partners, then everything IS NOT OKAY, is it??

Same old same old. A man wants as much pussy as he can get, provided by a Madonna Whore who doesn't exist - but in a pinch and a dry spell, he'll fuck a female "friend" who's supposed to know that his fuck buddy has to be more circumspect than he has to be in his sexual grazing among the herds of liberated women...

Ye Gods! I'm way too Virgo for all this bullshit!!

FWB is an illusion.

Gals buy into it because they secretly hope that Fuck Buddy will get serious about them.

Guys like it because guys like lots & lots of pussy.

It's just that simple - and simple-minded...

I suppose thats true, I didnt look at it like that. I guess at the end of the day, its still going to boil down to, 'each their own'

Exactly.

I've had lots of hook-ups / one-night-stands, but NEVER with a woman I considered a Friend. But, I'm a Virgo.

Any man who frets over how many guys the gal has slept with needs to keep his dick in his drawers. He's being a dishonest & disingenuous Dick Jockey.

If you're gonna fuck around, put that rubber on and shut the hell up.

Let me explain further what I said. Im not saying that Im gonna ask for some exact count on home many partners shes had, but Im saying if you know shes been around the block and back, I personally would be hesitant to want anything serious. If you are the type of guy that has done the same, then you have zero right to holding that against her.

Some people have self-esteem issues which manifest themselves in name-calling and general resent for people who don't mind casual sex. Men with low self-esteem usually get resentful towards the opposite sex and masturbate to rape porn and stuff. Women with low self-esteem are even less original, they usually stick their head where it doesen't belong like an old granny, and trash other women for the choices they make and the number of partners the choose to make it with. See, the world is a simple place after all, and so are the people in it.

I'm sorry if I lost my edge, but people can't really discuss anything without bitter remarks, so why should I even bother trying myself? This was a different place six months ago.

enfant_terrible: I'm sorry if I lost my edge, but people can't really discuss anything without bitter remarks, so why should I even bother trying myself?

I'm not bitter. I admitted to engaging in casual sex myself. I simply insist on calling things what they are, and not using classier-sounding terms like "FWB" to mask fucking around. Changing names doesn't change the facts: Men benefit more from casual sex than women, and with birth control & greater freedom for women in The West, guys are getting laid easier and more often...

I definitely don't have a problem with it - as long as women know what the real deal is that they're getting. If women believe that FWB is anything more than getting fucked, they are participating in a Big Lie.

This was a different place six months ago.

Not from where I sit across the Internet. There've been Hot Button topics on DXP since I first came here back in 2006. Some folks get more riled-up than others, and I've been one of them, but if we didn't enjoy participation, we wouldn't keep coming back.

I admit that I have been there myself - once. And I'll never do it again. Yes, I fell in love with the person and I'm still trying to figure it all out. In my opinion, sex on a regular basis with the same person always complicates things - whether the 2 people choose to admit it or not.

Friends with benefits or one night stands? What's worse? Eh, to each their own....but I'd prefer sharing myself with someone in that way to be received as more than just a good time.

The best sex I ever had was flavored with the brightest emotions.

@irishlibraiskatie:

Obviousely in every situation where you get close to another person it's bound to inspire certain feelings, same goes for FWB. I've been there and I've fallen in love every time - but thankfully I have a somewhat calculating mind and realized eventually that it wasn't love, it was only an illusion of love because we shared something intimate. Once again, you are making it out to be a women's issue, when in fact men fall in and out of love with their FWB as often as women do. Same way marriage is an illusion. You are decieving yourself to think that your feelings for a person are going to last a lifetime, and if they don't, the only right thing to do is to endure. I believe that in most marriages one party is more unhappy than the other, but can't leave because of what awaits them on the outside. Now there's an illusion for you.

I remember once when I was out partying with my (ex) girlfriend and one of her friends, and her friend told us that she really needs to get some dick tonight. Not love, not a relationship, not a gentleman...but a dick. Eventually she picked up this guy and I guess they went to her place and she effed his brains out. Women are not that one-dimensional you are making them out to be. She is not a victim. She just needed some dick that night. End of story.

For some reason, there is a Libra chick in here who thinks this thread is her territory, as if people are suppose to view this topic as she does, and will insult those who think differently and even go so far as to say people are following her here, like this is her thread first, and every person visiting this topic does so to follow her.


Curious .....



>>>> Dogs

Posted by irishlibraiskatie
enfant sweetie...you are making it to be about men vs. women, it has nothing to do with that....i am stating my belief and it will NEVER change

You are stating your belief by saying that deep down all women are like you, but they are putting out because they are victims of male sexuality. Women are as much in need of physical love as men are, the difference being that they are told (by people like you) that what they actually need is a realtionship, and not a dick. I agree that one-night-stands are sometimes not an equal equation, as many guys only want to satisfy their own needs. But another intresting thing is that women 40+ have a far more liberal view on sex and relationships, and seem to more often seek for a sexual partner than a "soulmate", while younger women are stuck with a romantic ideal of a prince on a white horse. I wonder if this a result of maturity or if it's because mature women have been effed over o many times that they lost all hope in the male population. I choose to believe in the first alternative, but what I believe and how things actually are , are two different things.

There are mysogynist guys out there who sleep with women but really don't give a damn about them. But I don't think they are as many as some of you people would like to believe. As for myself, and I think I speak for a lot of guys, it's impossible for me to go to bed with a woman without acknowledging that she in fact is a human being with emotions and feelings. I'm a Leo so I'm in love with the illusion of being in love. Somethimes I think of a one-night-stand for a month after we've parted, while she's probably forgotten all about me. Sure, at first I would objectify her, but as soon as she opens that beautiful mouth of hers and starts talking, she's not a piece of meat any longer. At least that's the way my hedonistic mind works...

Agree. But I never could understand what makes a woman good in the sack? What do people mean when they say "she's good in the bed". Just because she's not grabbing me by my dick the first thing she does, doesent make her bad. I know many people say that if she's timid, it's bad sex. But I'm quite comfortable with the whole teacher/student scenario a timid party brings to the bed. Only bad sex is when you don't connect. But in that case, why have sex?

@irishlibraiskatie:

You are right and I am wrong, I fking hate women with my whole being. If women didn't have kitties I wouldn't know what to do with them. Most women should be raised only to be fked, in the true sense of a de Sade novel. But that's only my opinion. Does that suit the picture you have of me? If it does, it's on me. That ends my contribution to this cute little thread, you can have it.

Wow Sagi, weren't you getting beat up about the fwb thing in the Steve Harvey thread? Lol, I guess people get worked up about it........

🙂