Honeymoon phase in relationships...

For the most part I have had a so-called 'Honeymoon Phase' in all of my relationships. With that being said - In hindsight, I noticed that there were things that I should have refrained from i.e. spending so much time together and things I should have resumed i.e.working out. I was just wondering if anyone was unphased by the 'Honeymoon Phase' and kept in line with their everyday activities pre-relationship? If so, how did you do this (the beginning and newness is intoxicating to me :-) )Is your relationship stronger for it, perhaps?

FYI - If I had to start all over I would NOT be seduced by the 'Honeymoon Phase'. I like to think it would make for a more balanced relationship in the long run. Instead of running hot and cold...keep it warm LOL.

I'm a Pisces, and notorious for pouring my ALL into EVERY relationship I'm in. Yes, I've been a victim of Honeymoon Phase, many times. Rosy glasses and everything, so when the harsh reality hit (usually at the END) I was generally bewildered and confused. How could this happen to me? We were SO in love.. we did everything together! We were never apart! We liked the same things! We... Oh, crap. I just answered my own question.

Yes, that bolt of inspiration came at a steep price of many years of intense relationships that burned out quickly, heartaches and long nights of wondering what MORE I could have given. The answer was, shockingly to me, to give LESS. Not get all wrapped up like Honeymooners. Spend time together, but not ALL YOUR TIME. Have outside hobbies, friends, activities. Not do everything together. Cherish the time you have together, and miss them a little when they're gone. If you give your ALL, your EVERYTHING, from the very start - it's like triple fudge chocolate cake. You looooove chocolate cake! It's so wonderful, and rich, and delicious! Oh you could eat this cake forever! You could.. no, wait. Too much chocolate cake. I feel sick. Excuse me please. Yes, sometimes I even stifled MYSELF through my own smothering and had to swim away! How can you miss someone who is never gone?! I need my solitude too, as a Pisces, but I kept not allowing myself any. I tried to deny my own nature - if I was really in LOVE, wouldn't I want to be with them all the time?! Yes, yes, the crazy Pisces girl drove herself insane more than once.

Victim of many a deep and fiery.. infatuation, yes. Plenty of those. And plenty of smothered, snuffed-out love.

Now... now, I am committed, deeply in love. I do not want to spend every moment together, and I don't need it. I have emotional stability, no drama, no I-Can't-Breathe-When-I'm-Not-With-You going on. We spend A LOT of time together, some time apart. We see friends together AND separately. We each have hobbies and activities we enjoy together, and apart. We don't already know EVERYTHING about each other, no word-vomit talking overload, until it's just too much input, too much information to process, abort mission, abort abort! We actually have time to MISS one another and look forward to seeing each other again.

This is so much better than the short-lived Honeymoon Phase.

Hi Nefer,

That is sound & wise advise!

It is just so easy to want to submit and get carried away in this phase. It feels so good, so...right.

But like you advise, it should all be kept in perspective.

I can definitely relate, Nefer ... when a person learns this about themselves, they will then allow themselves to really, truly love another.

And let themselves be loved for who they really are.

Posted by lanathegreat
how do you not get wrapped up in the honeymoon phase? Isn't it some kind of chemical that makes us females crazy when we first start dating someone? How do you stop something that's designed by nature?

May not be able to stop it but experience has taught me to damn sure try to control it :-). You can still indulge in the phase but don't totally submit to it...

I think it is very wise to keep doing the things/activities you were doing pre-honeymoon phase. Yep.

after a couple of long-term relationships, and a little wisdom from age, i no longer succumb to the honeymoon phase. sure, i get all twitterpated at first but i always keep myself grounded now. i am currently undergoing this process with a new man in my life. he wants to see me constantly but i keep it real. i am up front with him and have told him about my experience. so i only see him a couple of times a week and it keeps the "magic" alive. besides, i know what it's like to lose urself completely in someone else. u forget about urself and that's never a good thing.