How to deal with his family?

I've been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years and we've been living together for 3 years and there's been an on going issue with his family. His family is so used to him being around and doing everything for them all the time that 6 months into our relationship, we started having problems because of his family. Prior to that everything was so good that I always find asking if everything was real. I said that everything was too good to be true and to my surprise I was right! My boyfriend is a really great guy and everything I could ever ask for except for the fact that his too attached to his mother and that he can't say no to whatever they ask. Well, it has gotten better these past year and a half. Before it felt like everything in his life depends on what his family wants and we almost broke up because of that. I've been nothing but nice to his family despite all the evil things that they have done to me especially his sister. She accused me of spending all her brother's money and had called me a "bitch" and said that she hopes that we separate soon- this happened last year that night before we left to go on vacation in Hawaii. Prior to this she assumed that I was pregnant because I gained a 'lil weight and she's been rude to me several times. I couldn't believe how mean she was to me and she assumed so many things and all were false. First, it's impossible that I would spend her brother's money because I make more money that he does and I paid for our vacation because it was my birthday and anniversary gift to him. As a matter of fact I spend MORE money on her brother because he doesn't make enough money due to the fact that he works with his family on their family business and a lot of time he doesn't get paid on time! Inspite of all this though I was never rude to her. He's been defending me through all this but I feel like it's still not enough. His sister hasn't apologized to me until now and he said that she never will because she's stubborn. I'm not surprised by this because she acts like she's above everyone and assumed that she knows everything. Most members of his family are nice to me but when it comes to his immediate family, there's this tension that's never spoken about. I didn't show up to his family functions for about a year and a half since his sister started her rudeness to me and early this year I finally decided to join him and his mother said that she missed me and that I should always go the family functions from then on.

You're a Gemini .. what did you expect?

You could always kill yourself and hope to be born a different sign.


Or, you could just turn the other cheek and not worry about feeling threatened about how much he loves his sister ... but, then again, you're a Gemini.

I would have to agree.




Girls that are insecure cannot share a man with his own mother because she feels threatened by that, as if his love for his mother is some kind of reflection to insinuate his partner isn't it .. who knows why this insecurity in girls.


Women, on the other hand, especially ones who are mothers themselves .... comprehend that love for the mother is a compliment, not a threat.


Then again, she's Gemini .... so none of this is expected to be understood.

Hmmmm. Even though you're a gemini 😛 I kind of know how you feel...

My boyfriend has a strange relationship with his mother. He didn't speak to her for the first 3 years we dated. It was until he joined the military that his attitude changed...and now he says even though he feels she gave up on him and didn't act like a mother should - she's still his mother, his only mother - and she did her best and he wants her to be taken care of.

I personally find this to be an endearing quality. He's matured alot and I'm proud of him. I think it says alot about his character.
It does bother me, however, when she takes advantage of him and manipulates him into paying her bills and buying her vacations, etc...I don't want anyone to take advantage of him, especially his own mother - makes me want to draw blood. I watch her do it all the time. She even cries when she doesn't get her way immediately, it's sick. :/
But trust me, it's better to just stay out of it and let him figure it out on his own. The more you stick your nose in it, the more he'll do what he wants anyways, and it will only cause fights and you will look immature and needy. Family is family.


About his sister...Lol. Mine has a bitchy sister too, except she is really super nice to my face, she just talks about me EVERY chance she gets.
I just look at it like her being the protective big sister. I'm a big sister too, I get it. But we have been together like 6 years now, I think if I was going to ruin his life and make him cry, I would have by now. She can really let it go...
Best thing to do is be really nice to her - just ignore her antics. This way, for one: she can't turn it around on you and make you look like the asshole, or turn the rest of the family on you...and two: she'll end up looking rediculous when she has all these negative things to say about you all the time and yet no one has ever witnessed you do anything wrong.

🙂

We've all been through this ..... my husband is the only boy out of 5 children, and his sisters hate me.


lol, I wonder why 😄


I think it's funny as hell to tell you the truth ...... them being complete bitches, 27 years of it and he's still here. Just goes to show that they really just want to bitch is all, and I'm just a way to unleash for it their own benefit ...... because if their bitch had value, my husbnd would have heard them.



Briana is right ........ it's not your place to attempt to put a wedge inbetween him and his family. And you can prove your maturity about this by not letting them put a wedge between you and him, although, it sounds like it's too late .......... you've already let them win.

i think when a man loves and respects he mother...he will pretty much treat you the same