M00Nchild
@M00Nchild
12 YearsCancer
Comments: 0 · Posts: 421 · Topics: 41
I have the solution for you.
4. If someone chooses to walk out of your life, let. Them. Go. I know it hurts. Give yourself time to grieve. It's okay. You're allowed to feel sad. The end of a relationship is just like a death, and you deserve to mourn over your loss. Whatever emotions you're experiencing, let yourself feel them. However, don't make the mistake of obsessing over the person who hurt you. It doesn't matter why they left. It doesn't matter what's going on with them now. What matters is the fact they left, therefore they've given you one option: have your grieving period, then move on. It seems harsh and easy for me to say, but I'm speaking from experience. I've been through this enough times to know that it hurts like hell for awhile, but over time the pain eases until one day, you're over them. People will come and go from your life, and that's okay. If they don't want to be there for you, they don't need to be. This is especially true when they've brought you more sorrow than joy. You've got your own life to live, dear one. You don't need people bringing negativity into it. Welcome those who positively contribute to your life while you close the door on those that don't.
5. Nothing in this life that is worth it is easy. There's nothing to learn from things that don't offer a lesson. There's no way to grow when something is handed to you. When you have to work for it, though, that is when you really have that feeling of accomplishment. When it was difficult to achieve, that's when you appreciate it the most. When you fight through the struggle, when you refuse to give up or give in, THAT is when you discover how strong you are and you like yourself.
One more thing to keep in mind is that there is no one answer for everyone. Every circumstance is unique, just as every person is unique. However, I'd be very surprised if you couldn't apply these 5 simple notes to your life and your situation and find yourself on a healthier path.
I hope my blabbering can at least bring you a small feeling of optimism and hope, if not be a positive contribution to your own personal growth.
Blessed be, dear ones.
5. Nothing in this life that is worth it is easy. There's nothing to learn from things that don't offer a lesson. There's no way to grow when something is handed to you. When you have to work for it, though, that is when you really have that feeling of accomplishment. When it was difficult to achieve, that's when you appreciate it the most. When you fight through the struggle, when you refuse to give up or give in, THAT is when you discover how strong you are and you like yourself.
One more thing to keep in mind is that there is no one answer for everyone. Every circumstance is unique, just as every person is unique. However, I'd be very surprised if you couldn't apply these 5 simple notes to your life and your situation and find yourself on a healthier path.
I hope my blabbering can at least bring you a small feeling of optimism and hope, if not be a positive contribution to your own personal growth.
Blessed be, dear ones.
We can learn a lot from Sags, this is their specialty. They understand this it seems naturally.
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.
Posted by aniketsabaradI thinkreading OPs post is an answer itself to you. However saying it easier than actually doing it. Right?
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.
I wish I could just control my feelings as OP suggesting. Don't you?
And a question to OP. He says ' I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on' sooo...how
is this supposed to work if man's heart is on fire? How is he supposed to 'let it go'?
Posted by GemitatiHe's cycling through the stages of grief: depression, anger, denial, bargaining... The final step is acceptance. He isn't there yet. It takes time.Posted by aniketsabaradI thinkreading OPs post is an answer itself to you. However saying it easier than actually doing it. Right?
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.
I wish I could just control my feelings as OP suggesting. Don't you?
And a question to OP. He says ' I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on' sooo...how
is this supposed to work if man's heart is on fire? How is he supposed to 'let it go'?click to expand
Posted by aniketsabaradDear one, I can tell you from experience that you CAN move on, but only when you're truly ready. I can tell you what the necessary steps to take are, but you won't be willing to follow my advice yet. You're still holding on so strongly. You're afraid. You feel lost and insecure, and it's making you crazy. When the time comes that you're finally ready to make the effort in moving on, let me know. Until then, know this: pointing fingers is...well...pointless. It takes two to make a relationship. Each person plays a role. You're both human beings, therefore you're fallible. You're going to make mistakes. It's good to recognize the part you played in the demise of the relationship so you can learn from it, but placing all the blame on yourself is both unfair and counterproductive. You're going to make yourself crazy obsessing over the "What if's" and the "I should've done this" and "I shouldn't have done that." Remember what I said: what's done is done. Use the past to grow, not to dig yourself in a deeper hole. That's your first step toward healing. When you're ready for the next one, just say so.
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.
Posted by M00NchildIt might take time until his last breathe...Posted by GemitatiHe's cycling through the stages of grief: depression, anger, denial, bargaining... The final step is acceptance. He isn't there yet. It takes time.Posted by aniketsabaradI thinkreading OPs post is an answer itself to you. However saying it easier than actually doing it. Right?
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.
I wish I could just control my feelings as OP suggesting. Don't you?
And a question to OP. He says ' I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on' sooo...how
is this supposed to work if man's heart is on fire? How is he supposed to 'let it go'?click to expand
But you saying that people CAN work on the feelings and I am strongly disagree.If you
are saying time will cure - it means your thread starting post is just a repetitious of
'we all know that time will cure'...
But it is deep and intense and I loved the part if you alone no one will hurt you.
However this concept to be alone is against human nature especially women nature.
You said a lot of deep stuff but at the end in reality it is just a beautifully written esse
having nothing to do with real life.
I was looking into it and looking and went like !!!!!!! no one is that strong to deal with
heart issues. Only those who have no heart...😢
I don't know why it is bugging me so much,
Moonchild - you said at the beginning
All these posts by people in pain, people who are hurting and heartbroken over love lost, betrayal, lack of communication, misunderstandings...
I empathize with you. I've been there. I know that pain all too well. I have the solution.
NO YOU DON'T!!!
Someone asked me for advice. Well, I recently discovered the secret to assuring you never get your heart broken ever again, and I want to share it with everyone: keep it to yourself.
NOT TRUE! Total bull. You don't discover a secret for broken heart...
Never give your heart to another person, and it'll be safe.
REALLY? So just basically 'don't fall in love' is GREAT advise...
Like LOVE ever asks you 'do you want to fall in me'— No it is
sneaking up on you and hits you with a bag of bricks IN THE FACE!
Please, don't tell you can help. Because you can't.
Moonchild - you said at the beginning
All these posts by people in pain, people who are hurting and heartbroken over love lost, betrayal, lack of communication, misunderstandings...
I empathize with you. I've been there. I know that pain all too well. I have the solution.
NO YOU DON'T!!!
Someone asked me for advice. Well, I recently discovered the secret to assuring you never get your heart broken ever again, and I want to share it with everyone: keep it to yourself.
NOT TRUE! Total bull. You don't discover a secret for broken heart...
Never give your heart to another person, and it'll be safe.
REALLY? So just basically 'don't fall in love' is GREAT advise...
Like LOVE ever asks you 'do you want to fall in me'— No it is
sneaking up on you and hits you with a bag of bricks IN THE FACE!
Please, don't tell you can help. Because you can't.
Posted by Vixen2Tricked my mind and song stopped...LOL
I think everyone can benefit from having a personal theme song (Ally McBean style) too, to help get your groove back like Stella. Play it, become it, rock it, own it...trick your mind
Posted by M00NchildIs there any chance that once a cancer woman ended a relationship and moved would return?Posted by aniketsabaradDear one, I can tell you from experience that you CAN move on, but only when you're truly ready. I can tell you what the necessary steps to take are, but you won't be willing to follow my advice yet. You're still holding on so strongly. You're afraid. You feel lost and insecure, and it's making you crazy. When the time comes that you're finally ready to make the effort in moving on, let me know. Until then, know this: pointing fingers is...well...pointless. It takes two to make a relationship. Each person plays a role. You're both human beings, therefore you're fallible. You're going to make mistakes. It's good to recognize the part you played in the demise of the relationship so you can learn from it, but placing all the blame on yourself is both unfair and counterproductive. You're going to make yourself crazy obsessing over the "What if's" and the "I should've done this" and "I shouldn't have done that." Remember what I said: what's done is done. Use the past to grow, not to dig yourself in a deeper hole. That's your first step toward healing. When you're ready for the next one, just say so.
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.click to expand
Posted by GemitatiPlease calm down. You've missed my point entirely. I will reiterate my message so you can understand: the only way to guarantee you never get hurt is to never give your heart to someone else. The point was that when you care about someone, you risk getting hurt by them. When you get into a relationship, it will either end at some point or last until death. Yes, remaining alone does go against nature, not just humans alone, which is why I went into detail of how to begin the healing process based on my own personal experience of picking up the pieces of my broken heart over and over and over and over and over again.
I don't know why it is bugging me so much,
Moonchild - you said at the beginning
All these posts by people in pain, people who are hurting and heartbroken over love lost, betrayal, lack of communication, misunderstandings...
I empathize with you. I've been there. I know that pain all too well. I have the solution.
NO YOU DON'T!!!
Someone asked me for advice. Well, I recently discovered the secret to assuring you never get your heart broken ever again, and I want to share it with everyone: keep it to yourself.
NOT TRUE! Total bull. You don't discover a secret for broken heart...
Never give your heart to another person, and it'll be safe.
REALLY? So just basically 'don't fall in love' is GREAT advise...
Like LOVE ever asks you 'do you want to fall in me'— No it is
sneaking up on you and hits you with a bag of bricks IN THE FACE!
Please, don't tell you can help. Because you can't.
Posted by aniketsabaradOf course there is always a chance.Posted by M00NchildIs there any chance that once a cancer woman ended a relationship and moved would return?Posted by aniketsabaradDear one, I can tell you from experience that you CAN move on, but only when you're truly ready. I can tell you what the necessary steps to take are, but you won't be willing to follow my advice yet. You're still holding on so strongly. You're afraid. You feel lost and insecure, and it's making you crazy. When the time comes that you're finally ready to make the effort in moving on, let me know. Until then, know this: pointing fingers is...well...pointless. It takes two to make a relationship. Each person plays a role. You're both human beings, therefore you're fallible. You're going to make mistakes. It's good to recognize the part you played in the demise of the relationship so you can learn from it, but placing all the blame on yourself is both unfair and counterproductive. You're going to make yourself crazy obsessing over the "What if's" and the "I should've done this" and "I shouldn't have done that." Remember what I said: what's done is done. Use the past to grow, not to dig yourself in a deeper hole. That's your first step toward healing. When you're ready for the next one, just say so.
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.click to expand
And her being a cancer has to do nothing with possibility of her to return!
There is no such 'law' that says 'cancer women do not return after ending relashionships'.
Some people do, after realization that breaking up was a wrong thing to do.
Some move on and happy with other people. So there IS a possibility.
Just let her know she is welcome back.
Posted by aniketsabaradThere's always a chance one's list love will return, just as there's always the chance she won't, especially if bluffing had changed. If holding on to hope is what's getting you through the day, go ahead and hold on to it until you don't need it anymore, but don't live your life for someone else.Posted by M00NchildIs there any chance that once a cancer woman ended a relationship and moved would return?Posted by aniketsabaradDear one, I can tell you from experience that you CAN move on, but only when you're truly ready. I can tell you what the necessary steps to take are, but you won't be willing to follow my advice yet. You're still holding on so strongly. You're afraid. You feel lost and insecure, and it's making you crazy. When the time comes that you're finally ready to make the effort in moving on, let me know. Until then, know this: pointing fingers is...well...pointless. It takes two to make a relationship. Each person plays a role. You're both human beings, therefore you're fallible. You're going to make mistakes. It's good to recognize the part you played in the demise of the relationship so you can learn from it, but placing all the blame on yourself is both unfair and counterproductive. You're going to make yourself crazy obsessing over the "What if's" and the "I should've done this" and "I shouldn't have done that." Remember what I said: what's done is done. Use the past to grow, not to dig yourself in a deeper hole. That's your first step toward healing. When you're ready for the next one, just say so.
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.click to expand
Posted by M00NchildI am sorry I went nuts. Sensitive issue...Posted by GemitatiPlease calm down. You've missed my point entirely. I will reiterate my message so you can understand: the only way to guarantee you never get hurt is to never give your heart to someone else. The point was that when you care about someone, you risk getting hurt by them. When you get into a relationship, it will either end at some point or last until death. Yes, remaining alone does go against nature, not just humans alone, which is why I went into detail of how to begin the healing process based on my own personal experience of picking up the pieces of my broken heart over and over and over and over and over again.
I don't know why it is bugging me so much,
Moonchild - you said at the beginning
All these posts by people in pain, people who are hurting and heartbroken over love lost, betrayal, lack of communication, misunderstandings...
I empathize with you. I've been there. I know that pain all too well. I have the solution.
NO YOU DON'T!!!
Someone asked me for advice. Well, I recently discovered the secret to assuring you never get your heart broken ever again, and I want to share it with everyone: keep it to yourself.
NOT TRUE! Total bull. You don't discover a secret for broken heart...
Never give your heart to another person, and it'll be safe.
REALLY? So just basically 'don't fall in love' is GREAT advise...
Like LOVE ever asks you 'do you want to fall in me'— No it is
sneaking up on you and hits you with a bag of bricks IN THE FACE!
Please, don't tell you can help. Because you can't.click to expand
It is just it seemed to me like doctor is telling a very sick
patient 'I will give you a medicine that will cure you and the cure is consists of praying
and believing'.
Posted by ImpulsvWords words words...
It's true even if u have the one for life there is always death n that loss. Love is being the moment I guess n enjoy it when it's there n have grace to let it go when it's gone
Gracefully let it GO!
Like locking yourself up and whale or get drunk and call 24/7
until she changes her phone number?
LOL
When someone gets involved with you, it's because they see something on you they like. You have admirable qualities that they seek in a partner. Sometimes, though, after spending time together and really getting to know one another, they see qualities that are less desirable. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, just that the object of your affection no longer sees you as the person they want to stay with, so they leave. Sometimes they come back, but only when they see positive changes. No one wants a repeat of last misery and aggravation.
I know what it's like when your happiness depends on how another person feels about you, for your world to revolve around them, to feel like part of you is missing without that special someone. I am here to tell you, you do not need someone to be your other half because you are already whole. You don't need someone to complete you, because you're already a complete person. It's better to have someone who complements you. Strive to be the best version of yourself you can be. It will show and others will see.
I know what it's like when your happiness depends on how another person feels about you, for your world to revolve around them, to feel like part of you is missing without that special someone. I am here to tell you, you do not need someone to be your other half because you are already whole. You don't need someone to complete you, because you're already a complete person. It's better to have someone who complements you. Strive to be the best version of yourself you can be. It will show and others will see.
Posted by tizianiWhich one you refering to? I mean which part of his 'wisdom'?
Even Bob Marley gets it wrong sometimes. He must have been high when he said that
Posted by M00NchildMy 89 y/old customer just lost her husband and just yesterday she came in
When someone gets involved with you, it's because they see something on you they like. You have admirable qualities that they seek in a partner. Sometimes, though, after spending time together and really getting to know one another, they see qualities that are less desirable. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, just that the object of your affection no longer sees you as the person they want to stay with, so they leave. Sometimes they come back, but only when they see positive changes. No one wants a repeat of last misery and aggravation.
I know what it's like when your happiness depends on how another person feels about you, for your world to revolve around them, to feel like part of you is missing without that special someone. I am here to tell you, you do not need someone to be your other half because you are already whole. You don't need someone to complete you, because you're already a complete person. It's better to have someone who complements you. Strive to be the best version of yourself you can be. It will show and others will see.
to tell me how is she feeling like her right half of the body is cold because he
always been next to her and now she is feeling like her half is missing.
Posted by aniketsabaradFirst step, quit logging into her personal information, you creeper!!
Hi MoonChild, Thank you very much for the advice. I really wanted to know as a cancer man, I'm too hung up on my cancer woman, she has broken up and has moved on. But I'm unable to move on and I'm stuck. I'm stalking her everywhere, I know her passwords of her email and bank accounts and have found out that she is hanging out with a co-worker. Not very sure what is going on between them, but seems like she is going out with him. I'm just not able to accept the fact that its over and move on. I'm feeling bad and jealous when I find out she is drinking with him and hanging out with him and stuff. Since it was my fault that drove her away, I'm not able to forgive myself and the guilt just kills me everyday. I feel very lonely at night and feeling is terrible and also when I wake up and realise that she is not in my life anymore. It only feels awful and I just can't seem to get over it. Kindly advise and help. Thanks in advance.
Posted by elllesqueHence why I posted in my original message that "nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," as well as coming from a place of empathy having been through it numerous times myself (the most recent having been just a mere month ago). You go through the same thing enough times, it almost becomes a science.
meh. it's all easier said then done.
Posted by elllesqueThat is why I am fuming! Everybody knows what to do...except those who are in agony. 😢
meh. it's all easier said then done.
Posted by M00NchildWas each time for you like a copy of the previous?Posted by elllesqueHence why I posted in my original message that "nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," as well as coming from a place of empathy having been through it numerous times myself (the most recent having been just a mere month ago). You go through the same thing enough times, it almost becomes a science.
meh. it's all easier said then done.click to expand
Posted by M00Nchild"nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," —Posted by elllesqueHence why I posted in my original message that "nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," as well as coming from a place of empathy having been through it numerous times myself (the most recent having been just a mere month ago). You go through the same thing enough times, it almost becomes a science.
meh. it's all easier said then done.click to expand
Not true. Know people who had met, fell in love and enjoying life.
Total compatability! Good steady jobs, nice house. And I am sure
there are plenty more. Just though of my next door neighbors.
Also met, married, 3 kids all grown up now. Never seen them unhappy.
SO keep researching.
Pretty much, yes. It got to the point where I started to tell myself, "Okay, I know this is gonna hurt for awhile, but in time I'll be alright." I became better each time because I analyzed the part I played in the loss of the relationship and corrected what needed to be improved.
Posted by elllesqueWell it helps to detach emotionally because when you're emotional, it's difficult to be rational. That's why I said feel what you're feeling, get the emotions out, then when you're feeling better, you can start rationalizing things and figure out what you need to do to start feeling better again.Posted by M00NchildI'm not disagreeing.Posted by elllesqueHence why I posted in my original message that "nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," as well as coming from a place of empathy having been through it numerous times myself (the most recent having been just a mere month ago). You go through the same thing enough times, it almost becomes a science.
meh. it's all easier said then done.
The thing is....you will *always* go through it. The cycle is the same. Some are great, some are horrible, some are not even memory worthy. It's just the way life is.
I don't believe in soul mates, twin flames or relationships that last forever.
Not to say that the ending of each one doesn't hurt any less. It just is what it is.
I fight this with myself all the time. Especially upon entering a new relationship or ending a relationship. I seem to forget this and that is what ends up causing the pain.
When you think about it too long and try to intellectualise it.....you end up wondering what the point even is for being in a relationship.
I'm just blurting out nonsense....so, forgive me for derailing.
You made a lot of good points....they are just very easy to follow without attaching feelings or emotion to them. It's almost as though you aren't allowed to attach feelings and emotions to anything anymore because they make you a lesser person or weak. *shrugs*click to expand
Posted by elllesqueWhile you in love - he is perfect.
if you are looking to something needing to be improved you are not taking the experience for exactly what it was.
you are 'searching' for something perfect.
nothing is perfect.
And funny.- not dorky...LOL
And I guess if you 2 haven't got married and parted quietly
you will believe that he was perfect forever🙂
Posted by M00NchildSorry but this is plain blah blah blah...Posted by elllesqueWell it helps to detach emotionally because when you're emotional, it's difficult to be rational. That's why I said feel what you're feeling, get the emotions out, then when you're feeling better, you can start rationalizing things and figure out what you need to do to start feeling better again.Posted by M00NchildI'm not disagreeing.Posted by elllesqueHence why I posted in my original message that "nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," as well as coming from a place of empathy having been through it numerous times myself (the most recent having been just a mere month ago). You go through the same thing enough times, it almost becomes a science.
meh. it's all easier said then done.
The thing is....you will *always* go through it. The cycle is the same. Some are great, some are horrible, some are not even memory worthy. It's just the way life is.
I don't believe in soul mates, twin flames or relationships that last forever.
Not to say that the ending of each one doesn't hurt any less. It just is what it is.
I fight this with myself all the time. Especially upon entering a new relationship or ending a relationship. I seem to forget this and that is what ends up causing the pain.
When you think about it too long and try to intellectualise it.....you end up wondering what the point even is for being in a relationship.
I'm just blurting out nonsense....so, forgive me for derailing.
You made a lot of good points....they are just very easy to follow without attaching feelings or emotion to them. It's almost as though you aren't allowed to attach feelings and emotions to anything anymore because they make you a lesser person or weak. *shrugs*click to expand
Get the emotions out? Like hairspray in your mouth—
HOW—
Get emotions out. Great! Very helpful. I am going to go let them out.
Just have to catch them first...
Posted by GemitatiDo what you feel you need to do: cry, scream in a pillow, punch a punching bag, go for a run, meditate, write in a journal, etc. Getting upset isn't helping, which is all I want to do. If you feel I'm hurting people Ruth what I've said, by all means let me know, otherwise take it for what it is: someone reaching out to others who's been through it and came out stronger.Posted by M00NchildSorry but this is plain blah blah blah...Posted by elllesqueWell it helps to detach emotionally because when you're emotional, it's difficult to be rational. That's why I said feel what you're feeling, get the emotions out, then when you're feeling better, you can start rationalizing things and figure out what you need to do to start feeling better again.Posted by M00NchildI'm not disagreeing.Posted by elllesqueHence why I posted in my original message that "nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," as well as coming from a place of empathy having been through it numerous times myself (the most recent having been just a mere month ago). You go through the same thing enough times, it almost becomes a science.
meh. it's all easier said then done.
The thing is....you will *always* go through it. The cycle is the same. Some are great, some are horrible, some are not even memory worthy. It's just the way life is.
I don't believe in soul mates, twin flames or relationships that last forever.
Not to say that the ending of each one doesn't hurt any less. It just is what it is.
I fight this with myself all the time. Especially upon entering a new relationship or ending a relationship. I seem to forget this and that is what ends up causing the pain.
When you think about it too long and try to intellectualise it.....you end up wondering what the point even is for being in a relationship.
I'm just blurting out nonsense....so, forgive me for derailing.
You made a lot of good points....they are just very easy to follow without attaching feelings or emotion to them. It's almost as though you aren't allowed to attach feelings and emotions to anything anymore because they make you a lesser person or weak. *shrugs*
Get the emotions out? Like hairspray in your mouth—
HOW—
Get emotions out. Great! Very helpful. I am going to go let them out.
Just have to catch them first...click to expand
Posted by elllesqueAre you talking about being dumped? Every time?
I don't know. This last time around the roseberry bush (my last relationship) really has made me ponder everything on a completely different level than I had ever in the past.
I'm a tad bit more cynical.
It doesn't matter how much you strive to improve yourself. If something isn't going to work, it just isn't.
Everything is meant to be temporary.
Those who keep throwing themselves back in, because they've convinced themselves they've improved.....are just setting themselves up for even more heartache because you are just going to be left feeling not good enough or not worth it when it ends.....not realising that it is supposed to end eventually.
Love yourself and that is enough......that is the only way to improve. all that crap is then shed from your being and opens you up to love....so then you don't get hurt as badly because you have yourself to fall back on.
I'm getting way too philosophical for a sunday afternoon.
It can't be. Sprinkle holy water over your self...😢
Posted by elllesque...except you don't dream of things with a dead person...
there is a reason that grief is the same regardless if it's love or death.
it was designed that way.
Posted by M00NchildPosted by GemitatiDo what you feel you need to do: cry, scream in a pillow, punch a punching bag, go for a run, meditate, write in a journal, etc. Getting upset isn't helping, which is all I want to do. If you feel I'm hurting people Ruth what I've said, by all means let me know, otherwise take it for what it is: someone reaching oPosted by M00NchildSorry but this is plain blah blah blah...Posted by elllesqueWell it helps to detach emotionally because when you're emotional, it's difficult to be rational. That's why I said feel what you're feeling, get the emotions out, then when you're feeling better, you can start rationalizing things and figure out what you need to do to start feeling better again.Posted by M00NchildI'm not disagreeing.Posted by elllesqueHence why I posted in my original message that "nothing in this life that is worth it is easy," as well as coming from a place of empathy having been through it numerous times myself (the most recent having been just a mere month ago). You go through the same thing enough times, it almost becomes a science.
meh. it's all easier said then done.
The thing is....you will *always* go through it. The cycle is the same. Some are great, some are horrible, some are not even memory worthy. It's just the way life is.
I don't believe in soul mates, twin flames or relationships that last forever.
Not to say that the ending of each one doesn't hurt any less. It just is what it is.
I fight this with myself all the time. Especially upon entering a new relationship or ending a relationship. I seem to forget this and that is what ends up causing the pain.
When you think about it too long and try to intellectualise it.....you end up wondering what the point even is for being in a relationship.
I'm just blurting out nonsense....so, forgive me for derailing.
You made a lot of good points....they are just very easy to follow without attaching feelings or emotion to them. It's almost as though you aren't allowed to attach feelings and emotions to anything anymore because they make you a lesser person or weak. *shrugs*
Get the emotions out? Like hairspray in your mouth—
HOW—
Get emotions out. Great! Very helpful. I am going to go let them out.
Just have to catch them first...click to expand
The easiest and BEST solution to remember when you begin a relationship:
If it doesn't work, it WON'T KILL YOU.
~the end~
If it doesn't work, it WON'T KILL YOU.
~the end~
@moonchild I love this and I have as well just started on my journey of letting go of the idea that I want or need to be in love or a relationship. I am an older woman and I have wasted a lot of my life wanting love and a happy relationship. I have recently experienced a level of clarity where I now know that is not my path. I have felt very free and happy since I have let go of that idea. I know the journey will not be easy and I may have weak moments but I finally feel free. Just because everyone is doing it does not mean it was meant for you.
Posted by aquagirllovesuPLEASE elaborate
@moonchild I love this and I have as well just started on my journey of letting go of the idea that I want or need to be in love or a relationship. I am an older woman and I have wasted a lot of my life wanting love and a happy relationship. I have recently experienced a level of clarity where I now know that is not my path. I have felt very free and happy since I have let go of that idea. I know the journey will not be easy and I may have weak moments but I finally feel free. Just because everyone is doing it does not mean it was meant for you.
Posted by LetltBGuess you had never loved?
The easiest and BEST solution to remember when you begin a relationship:
If it doesn't work, it WON'T KILL YOU.
~the end~
Posted by elllesquePosted by tizianithank you for taking the time to spell that out
@ellesque
When it comes to houses, I started looking in the sense of how the houses are all related to each other (and this is new for me so I don't expect it to make sense to anyone else)....
This applies to even buying a second house or friendships but being as we're talking about relationships it's probably easier just to use the straightforward example of the 7th house and related houses in second marriages, second loves, etc
The house of second marriage is the 9th. It's the sibling of the first marriage, so it's the 3rd of the 7th .... minus 1. There's always that 1 to substract. (7 + 3 -1 = 9) and so forth, so on.
The whole idea behind the houses being related to each other and in sequence is that the "self" - 1 - always progresses. You can't ignore the 1. It's never factored out.
Once that connection is made, it's already too late to go back. That is who are you in that moment, regardless of whether that relationship ends in an argument over facebook likes, an affair, or in death. Everything is going to end someway, and there's no point denying our choice in being a part of that.
I do see things similarly to you in the sense of accepting self. What didn't work for me was trying to get back my "old self" by trying to take it all the way back to the 1st house and trying to go back in time to I was before I connected with others. That's where the rational part kicks in, people are always writing actually about how we don't need other people and the best lesson we can learn in life is to love ourselves... but they never really write these mantras in an intuitive sense. They write it as theory. And it comes off as well-intentioned bullshit (probably like this very post of mine).
I don't see much point in being rational in relationships. Commitment is not a rational person's game.
The rational mind always looks towards the intuitive mind for orders on what to do next. Our intuition tells everything else in our self when to jump and how high. It's only when intuition steers us to unexpected outcomes that we start to look for reasons to do things differently, but we ultimately always report back to our instincts again.
I think as long as you stayed intuitive to who you are in the moment, then it's fine. You're then free to connect. You know at that point your self might have progressed to the 7th, the 9th, the 12th.... any house really.
It's always a choice. No one is forced to stick around, they choose to or choose not to in kind.
I don't have an empty 4th house though so I'd have to take that on board and consider that. That is interesting.click to expand
Posted by Gemitati@ Gemitati I have let go of the idea that I will ever be in a happy loving relationship. I am focusing on work and other things. I am learning to be happy content and ok with just being alone. Not everyday is easy, but I have spent to many years wanting and hoping for something that just does not seem possible for me. So I am being thankful and grateful for what I have and not not letting what I don't have control my life so much.Posted by aquagirllovesuPLEASE elaborate
@moonchild I love this and I have as well just started on my journey of letting go of the idea that I want or need to be in love or a relationship. I am an older woman and I have wasted a lot of my life wanting love and a happy relationship. I have recently experienced a level of clarity where I now know that is not my path. I have felt very free and happy since I have let go of that idea. I know the journey will not be easy and I may have weak moments but I finally feel free. Just because everyone is doing it does not mean it was meant for you.click to expand
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