Rejecting a marriage proposal

Just want to know if anyone else has done this? or been rejected?

I've recently gone through a trial such as this and wanted to get some clarity I guess...

We started dating over a year ago but had been talking while I was overseas. When I came back to visit we met up to see how things went and drove to the lake to walk and talk about things. It was a bit awkward. Kissing me without me reciprocating and then later letting him know I just didn't like the smell of his cologne. But as the night went on I became more comfortable with him and we began our season of dating. Keep in mind this spot by the lake was an uncomfortable event for me.

So he asks to go for a walk and says he's thinking of going near that spot. I says sure lets do it and I jokingly say we should go sit at the bench where he'd awkwardly tried to kiss me...that I wanted to actually kiss him now. I noted that we were sitting on different sides of the bench so we switched and kiss. Then suddenly its like a flashback and things get a little weird....he says you know I love you and you make me happy.... I look at him and it's like all of that time is reversed and I suddenly....dont find him all that attractive anymore? And then he holds out his hand, balled in a fist, with something clearly in it. I immediately say "no...no" before he can open the hand, but he does so slowly... and then I've realized what I said....and that I had not only hurt him but inadvertantly rejected him. I felt absolutely horrible....tried to tell him it wasn't a rejecting, but deep down I didn't feel any reason to reassure him further or continue this....it was like a confirmation that this was just not going to work out...

*sigh* He texted me later about it telling me he sort of figured I'd say no because he knew I'd see him taking me there as zero planning on his part when he had planned it (just wasn't a lot of planning) and I asked why he did it then if he figure he'd get a no? He was just set on the idea... I have no idea why he thought a place that held such a discomforting memory would be the one he went to....out of all the other memorable places we had been that first week we were together.

Anyways...just feel weird about all this...like I said just looking for some clarity here...

Posted by tiziani
No experience on this myself. He probably did more damage by sending the 'self-conscious' text afterwards, I'm guessing. Anyone can forgive someone who's convinced.

When you say "anyone can forgive someoone who's convinced" what do you mean here?

This is why I'll be letting the woman propose lol

Like a boss

Posted by Impulsv
N how would he know this place is such an uncomfortable place for u ? Just admit he's not it let him go
Don't blame it on the spot n give him false hope.

It was a discussion we had had recently.

But you're right. When it's the one then the place won't matter at all

Posted by enfant_terrible
This is why I'll be letting the woman propose lol

Like a boss

LOL i was dating someone that had that philosophy.. key word Was. It made it awkward when he brought it up, that i would need to be the one to do it.

There are some things that i feel a man should do and proposing is one of them, if that is going to be on the table.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by tiziani
No experience on this myself. He probably did more damage by sending the 'self-conscious' text afterwards, I'm guessing. Anyone can forgive someone who's convinced.

When you say "anyone can forgive someoone who's convinced" what do you mean here?

I've seen women grow attracted to some men when they see he proposed because he genuinely felt he had to no choice. It's never happened to me and not my style. But some guys, they can pursue until she gives in. They show no remorse and never question themselves when they're beating her into submission, and that approach actually stirs up female fantasy in some ways.

But a guy who doubts himself and says "you know I kind of always knew you'd say no" gets no respect from that point onwards. Do you think he screwed himself in your eyes with the proposal or really was it the text message afterwards? I'd be interested to know

click to expand

The proposal caused a shift, but ultimately the text is what screwed him over. Just seemed a bit rude/selfish? in my opinion.

At least you know now that things wont work.

Kids, rings, and tattoos have that effect imo

I also think that he went to that place again because it was familiar and a bit cute. It was the spot where you had your awkward first kiss and now it serves as the culmination of things, the proposal.

Makes for a good story...

He was trying to put back together his shattered manhood with the text.

Save face.

See if u like him still.