Intimidation

What do you think would cause a man to be intimidated by a woman? I've always wanted to know.

I think SOME men can get intimidated if they feel a woman can take better care of herself than he can.

Masculine energy, I would imagine.

Posted by Shadows
I think SOME men can get intimidated if they feel a woman can take better care of herself than he can.

This reminded me of one of my ex boyfriends and when we were having problems. He told my best friend once that he felt I didn't need him because I'm a fairly independent person and I'm used to handling things on my own. I didn't know how to tell him that I needed him; but I didn't know that I was making him feel unwanted as well.

Yeah, I hear ya. Maybe the issue is that we need/want emotional support and love, while I think a lot of men feel that that is exactly what they are providing by taking care of women in more tangible ways. Maybe there is a disconnect there.

I think what MsPisces said is right on and its been a problem of mine for a long time. I think I put out a very masculine energy for the most part, but I'm actually super old fashioned in many ways too. Another disconnect! 😢 I can't seem to blend the two together.

There definitely is a disconnect :/ I think that I probably give off masculine energy too; but I think the disconnect stems from gender roles and how some females are viewed by males in general. For those in heterosexual relationships, the female is taught that the man should be the provider,the protector, ect. But in courtship, a lot of girls are sort of hit with this confounding problem; if we show the guy that we need him too early on, or that we want him, he might view it as some sort of weakness or problem. We want to show that we aren't weak when in reality we maybe do want the guy by our side when we need help. There is a problem in communicating that; how do you tell a guy you need him without wanting to seem like you can't take care of yourself/not wanting to come off as needy?

Posted by Candeh15
There definitely is a disconnect :/ I think that I probably give off masculine energy too; but I think the disconnect stems from gender roles and how some females are viewed by males in general. For those in heterosexual relationships, the female is taught that the man should be the provider,the protector, ect. But in courtship, a lot of girls are sort of hit with this confounding problem; if we show the guy that we need him too early on, or that we want him, he might view it as some sort of weakness or problem. We want to show that we aren't weak when in reality we maybe do want the guy by our side when we need help. There is a problem in communicating that; how do you tell a guy you need him without wanting to seem like you can't take care of yourself/not wanting to come off as needy?

THIS is a great question, as to I'd like to know the answer of also....

c'mon guys! help us out 😉

The guy im seeing (Cancer) was intimidated by the fact that I knew exactly what I wanted, he was not used to woman being so forward and upfront, it really scared him! lol.

He had all these mind games in store for me and I didnt want none of that bullshit. I called him out on every game he tried to play and he ran off scared, but he came back....they always do!

Posted by Claire
So I have a question. If women are usually turned on by a really strong man ... someone who's likely to be able to care for her / look after her etc (and you'd probably be inclined to think the reason for this has something to do with traditional gender roles etc), then why are men turned on by the same things in us??

Like men see a strong, independent woman who doesn't need him and it turns him on, right?? Whereas the defenseless, helpless, feminine woman was once viewed as more attractive by the majority of the male population.

I don't want someone who "needs" me. Men are expected to keep our shit together... I like balance.

As for intimidating guys.... guns. period.

Posted by Claire
So I have a question. If women are usually turned on by a really strong man ... someone who's likely to be able to care for her / look after her etc (and you'd probably be inclined to think the reason for this has something to do with traditional gender roles etc), then why are men turned on by the same things in us??

Like men see a strong, independent woman who doesn't need him and it turns him on, right?? Whereas the defenseless, helpless, feminine woman was once viewed as more attractive by the majority of the male population.

Its funny. My natural reaction was to ask you if you really felt that men are turned on by that and put off by more 'feminine' women. I guess there are those that are and those that aren't. I kind of feel like that so called strong masculine man is more attracted to more feminine women. No? But there are definitely those that prefer and like more equality. I feel like the latter probably had very strong, independent mothers so that's what they're used to seeing.

Growing up, I had a stay at home mom and a dad that busted his ass. I guess that's why that type of relationship is more appealing to me. My personal definition of a 'man' is someone who can take care of his family and protect them in every way.

Yeah, I agree Claire. About it being a generational thing in some ways. I'm in my late 30's and the older guys I date seem to want to be the dominant kind. The younger guys I've dated are more into equality.

I really do think there is a way to be the woman that can take good care of herself and her own business and still be very feminine. I just haven't mastered it yet.

There's this misconception out there that "men" are intimidated by strong/independent women. And I disagree. No, BOYS are intimidated by such women, but not men.

Alot of men feel their duty is to provide & protect. And even though it's unfair & somewhat a double standard, some men associate some of the habbits/ways of a woman to be "masculine" traits. I think men can't handle a woman that represents masculinity on the same scale as him. And even then, it's not even necessarily that they can't "handle" it, but moreso that they'd prefer someone who allows them to "be the man" in their minds.

Some men are intimidated by women who make way more money than they do. For some men, being the "head of household" means being the primary financial hero of the family/household, thus they may feel deprived of that duty/title if they are not the ones making the bulk of the money to keep the household/family structure together. Of course this sounds silly to women who are successful & perhaps make alot more money than they're men, but to some men, this is a very big deal.

Some men are intimidated by women who have dominant personalities. Some men prefer their women to be somewhat submissive and/or let him "wear the pants." And once again, it's not that they can't handle a woman who is just as strong & independent as he is, but moreso that he wants to feel like he is on top, like he is the hero, like he is the knight in shining armor.

It may all sound silly but it all depends on how each man measure's his manhood. Some men measure it by how many chicks they can get into bed, some measure it by their ability to pay the bills & provide financial comfort to their partners while others measure it in other ways. And some men are very intimidated when they find their "equals."

You'd think men nowadays would be jumping for joy to find an equal (instead of gold digging, passive, & dependent partners who will put the weight of the world & all that pressure on their shoulders) but nope, some things will never change. Smh

Posted by aPiscesPrincess

Posted by Candeh15
What do you think would cause a man to be intimidated by a woman? I've always wanted to know.

I think it's usually as simple as he thinks she's 'out of his league', or he doesn't know how she feels about him and he's afraid of being rejected. My ex Scorp told me he was intimidated by me at first.. he told me he was watching me for a year and that I was his dream girl but he was afraid to say anything because he didn't think I liked him like that. And here he was a playboy flirty type who always had girls throwing themselves at him. lol So you never know who might be intimidated by you, and you might never understand why they are.

click to expand

Yep. What she said.
It's as simple as her looking like the type that would reject him.

(on second thought, it may not be that "simple")

Posted by Candeh15
For those in heterosexual relationships, the female is taught that the man should be the provider,the protector, ect. But in courtship, a lot of girls are sort of hit with this confounding problem; if we show the guy that we need him too early on, or that we want him, he might view it as some sort of weakness or problem. We want to show that we aren't weak when in reality we maybe do want the guy by our side when we need help. There is a problem in communicating that; how do you tell a guy you need him without wanting to seem like you can't take care of yourself/not wanting to come off as needy?

THIS. ^^ Can we get an answer?

Candeh, get his respect, first and foremost. When your man respects you, he will not think you are needy if you need or want something from him. He will gladly give it to you.