Lists

1. If you're wondering how you can convince yourself to NOT go back to an ex or someone who treated you badly, take out a sheet of paper & at the top of the page write/type, "Things I'd have to go through if I continue entertaining/being with this person." Force yourself to remember all the losses (NOT GAIN) you'd experience if you kept that person around.
::Examples:: Being ignored twice a week; getting hit/abused; being cheated on; feeling alone; being stood up, etc.

You'd be surprised at all the things you come up with. Next time you're thinking about giving in or going back, get out your list!

2. If you've got 100 people advising you NOT to have the last word or speak to an ex or someone whose betrayed you, write down all your feelings on paper. Then burn it or throw it away.

This is for all the people who always have to have the last word, even if doing so means you walk away looking like the psycho, violent & emotionally unstable creature that you probably are =P

3. BEFORE you start dating anyone, write down a list of MUST-HAVES, i.e standards. These are traits that are NON-NEGOTIABLE/deal breakers. Then break your list down into categories: Personality traits, physical traits, spiritual, sexual & financial, etc. Whether you're dating 1 person, multiple people or have an ex in mind, write down all their names & tally up how many "standards" they meet/met. Once you've tallied all the points up, it's alot more clear whose actually right for you according to what YOU feel you deserve.

P.S. (Don't let anyone tell you that you're being unrealistic or too picky. Even shallow people have a right to want what they want)

::EXAMPLE:: Kevin
Physical (5/10); Sexual (2/10); Personality (7/10); Spiritual (6/10); Financial (2/10). Total score: 22 /50. Then total their percentage. This will show you how that person measures up to what you feel you deserve. In other words, "Jane Doe" is only 67% of what I want/deserve/am looking for


4. There's always the old-fashioned list where you see if a person's advantages OUTWEIGH the disadvantages. This helps you realize if you're losing OR gaining more by entertaining/being with that person.

I'm telling you! This stuff works!

Was thinking about making a post like Metaphysical's, but here seems as good a place as any. My impossible list!

MUST BE:
Single, emotionally available, with enough time to see me at least once a week
likes doing at least some of my hobbies
has a backbone/will be a man/stands up to me/assertive
Religious tolerant
Cares about himself
Ambitious, hard working
attractive (we all have our own brand of attractiveness, with a few exceptions)
Charming, Classy, Respectful, Polite, old fashioned gentleman
Loves animals and being outside
Good with money
Dependable, reliable, mature
Between 24 and 33
Wants a family, marriage
Understands me and loves me for who I am

BE NICE IF:
No kids
Never been married/divorced
Pagan
not overweight
cowboy/ex military/artist/musican
carries a gun
Taurus or Scorpio, though if he's another sign that has the same personality traits it'd be ok.
Wants to help me with my animals/wants a homestead

CANT BE:
addicted to anything
any religion that condemns others who aren't the same religion
racist/sexist/homophobe/anyone who hates others based on who they are, not what they've done
so obsessed with a hobby I'm not into it consumes his life
abusive in any way
Clingy, insecure, annoying

knew that was going to happen. Minute I hit post I think of something to add.

Be who he IS. Don't try to change himself to impress me.

I've made all of those lists. It really does help.

Here's the thing...I'm assuming that we all want a person to possess the very same qualities that WE TOO possess. So if you even have them, there's no logical basis for assuming another human being out of 6.9 billion people on this earth, wouldn't too have those traits. If YOUR the exception, it's not fair to assume that no one else is either.

I think that's alot of where the problems come in. People want from others what they don't even have. Someone whose broke, lazy, insecure & unhealthy can't expect to find someone who is rich, far from lazy, secure in all areas & healthy!

You have to assume that the other person wants all of those very same things too! So if you don't, it's not that there aren't any "good ones" out there, but moreso that the good ones you've come across didn't want you b/c they had the same list that you did & realized that you weren't willing to offer the same things you're asking for.

Posted by krysrenee7
Here's the thing...I'm assuming that we all want a person to possess the very same qualities that WE TOO possess.

Yeah like a brain which when you're dealing with the stupid sex is highly unlikely.