Long Time Single Status A Red Flag?

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DanSingScorp
@DanSingScorp
15 Years

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So I'm just curious about how people feel about a person being single for a long time. If you're on a date with someone and the question (the question I dread and hate) comes up "when was your last serious relationship?" and the answer to that question is something along the lines of "it's been a while, a few years, or I've never really had a serious relationship", would anyone consider that a red flag?
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westside
@westside
14 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

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Posted by DanSingScorp
So I'm just curious about how people feel about a person being single for a long time. If you're on a date with someone and the question (the question I dread and hate) comes up "when was your last serious relationship?" and the answer to that question is something along the lines of "it's been a while, a few years, or I've never really had a serious relationship", would anyone consider that a red flag?



who even thinks like that? makes relationships sound like a job or some shit. the people you know are out of touch with reality.
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lnana04
@lnana04
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by DanSingScorp
Why don't I come across people who think like that? I'm still in my 20s and I've never been serious about anyone in my life and people always act like it's something wrong with me. I don't think it's a big deal, but somehow I always end up in a damn argument about it because apparently you're supposed to be paired up with someone or something's wrong.



LoL@ "somehow I always end up in a damn argument about it"

That sucks. I never been in a serious relationship either so I know the feeling of people acting like you are from outer-space because of it, but people just need to mind their own business really. There's no way you should have to defend why you've made certain decisions in your life.
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DanSingScorp
@DanSingScorp
15 Years

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Posted by ellybd
Nope. Scorp was 24 when we started dating and he's never had even one serious relationship.

People shouldn't peg people like that though. Where do you live region wise Dansing if you don't mind me asking? I know here in the south, as I found out today, there are now 16 girls from my graduating class married, seven with children, three on their second child. Five girls I know already have their first divorce under their belt. I just turned 21... I grew up in a metropolitan part of my city but moved to a much more old fashioned and conservative school for my last years of school.

Point being, some societies put pressure on a certain age for marriage, young or old really. It get's annoying, but if you are happy and don't surround yourself purposefully with those people the occasional comment or what have you doesn't matter anymore really. 🙂




I'm on the west coast

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happykitsune
@happykitsune
14 Years1,000+ Posts

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No. Sometimes people have bad experiences in dating and they want to sit out for a bit to get over it all and cater to themselves. Nothing wrong with that. Others, like me, don't want to be in a relationship unless they're fully invested in the person. I want to be with someone who I could see myself being serious with, and that shouldn't mean I carry an automatic red flag. Just means when I do finally pick that special someone I'll stick to them and only them 🙂
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justSophs
@justSophs
15 YearsCancer

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For me it was a red flag for awhile but I realized its specific to each person. It depends on their life experience, so before jumping gun and say something must be wrong with the person, get to know them and you will understand why they've been single for awhile.

BUT there was 1 guy i met that was single for 5 yrs and the more I got to know him the more I realized why, he was psycho to say the least.

So it all depends on the person but in some instances there is a reason why that person is undateable.
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krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by DanSingScorp
If you're on a date with someone and the question (the question I dread and hate) comes up "when was your last serious relationship?" and the answer to that question is something along the lines of "it's been a while, a few years, or I've never really had a serious relationship", would anyone consider that a red flag?



No. Everyone has their reasons

More relationships would actually work out better if people were single for a lot longer than they can stand!

So many people jump from relationship to relationship. Just b/c you can do that doesn't mean you're fit to be in one!

I respect more the people who are single b/c they simply want to be AND the people who are b/c they refuse to bring their unresolved personal issues into someone else's life.

In my experience, the people who are single by choice for long periods of time are not as selfish compared to the people who can't ever be alone.

To answer the question...no, not necessarily. You've gotta let people explain their reasoning & form your opinion based on that.

Even if the person says, "Yep, I'm single b/c I'm crazy as hell & I'd probably cheat" can you really blaim them for being single!? I'd actually give them a high-5 for being so honest & unselfish!

I think there's something very admirable about people who are just as ok with being alone & as they are having someone