@Sola
20 Years1,000+ PostsLibra
Looking for Advice...
from anyone who is in a relationship or has formed a relationship with someone who might be considered "beneath them" by other people. I net this guy recently and we hit it off straight away. He's a really rough character, no real money to his his name, a sketchy past but a heart of gold. I feel like he values my time more than anyone I ever met. But is there something in me that makes me think I can change him to his best version or show him how life can be good. Or is there something in him that thinks I can save him. Is this already too much?! I'd like to hear about these relationships. I think hes maybe been involved in drugs in the past and had some toxic relationships. It's so early on I'm trying to sort out my mind.
Do you have any Virgo in your chart...cause this is our m.o. lol
Venus in Virgo🙂
potentially
If your best friend came to you with this list on a guy, could you look at that and honestly tell her he’s a potential winner?
Be your own best friend.
I wouldn’t write him off but I would keep my distance for at least two years while he gets his shit together before embarking on a romantic entanglement tbh
Venus in Virgo🙂
Yep...this is probably it then lol.
Only advice is you can't save anyone...you can be there (as long as it's not taking away from you loving yourself) but in the end they have to want to save themselves.
He sounds like scraps but eh, we all are at 36 lol
loooool!!!! best comment 🙂
I mean he's not a junkie or alcoholic...I'm talking more recreational. But I've never taken drugs so I don't know the borderline..when does it become an addiction really? He's trying so hard to get himself an improved situation, he's got plans he's actively putting into action, he's motivated. I'll need to watch my own attachment issues but I love these inputs...thank you!
So if his only value to you is his potential to be 'changed' by you.
Hows that gonna work when he does actually change??
You'll be bored.
That's isn't his value to me...obviously I liked him before I got to know all this. Im taking about the risk of investment. Im happy to be supportive but not his mum or keeper.
I was on and off for 3 years with a gambling pot head that drank everyday. He was fun, really hot, we had awesome chemistry, and loved eachothers company and could talk until the sun came up but he never got his shit together and was never going anywhere. I haven't seen him for about 7 years. He's 39 now and contacted me 5 months ago telling me he wants to try again. He's unemployed, still living with his parents and hasn't changed. I got rid of him, bought a block of land, built a house and set myself up. If i spent the last 10 years with him instead, I'd probably be a single mum with a couple kids I can't afford because he wouldn't be paying child support.
He sounds like a keeper
Be...as yatch as you are? Lmao
Thank you...
Most days I am a keeper lmfaoooo
Thank you tootoo
click to expand
What are you keeping? Seriously...
That's isn't his value to me...obviously I liked him before I got to know all this. Im taking about the risk of investment. Im happy to be supportive but not his mum or keeper.
Status is always in flux. Don't discount someone based on where they are. Discount them if they lack motivation.
He has his own house 🙂 He's been independent since age 15..just made bad choices because nobody really looked out for him...like survival mode. I'm not making any excuses here, just fighting his corner!
Did this help you understand your situation?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
from anyone who is in a relationship or has formed a relationship with someone who might be considered "beneath them" by other people. I net this guy recently and we hit it off straight away. He's a really rough character, no real money to his his name, a sketchy past but a heart of gold. I feel like he values my time more than anyone I ever met. But is there something in me that makes me think I can change him to his best version or show him how life can be good. Or is there something in him that thinks I can save him. Is this already too much?! I'd like to hear about these relationships. I think hes maybe been involved in drugs in the past and had some toxic relationships. It's so early on I'm trying to sort out my mind.