Posted by Sn1p3r187Takes a very patient person to deal with those flaws.
Can you honestly deal with people of this nature in a relationship. I find it hard to deal with them when they're too insecure and it's hard to want to be with them when they're insufferable, whiny, or need to be coddled and reassured all the time. It gets annoying fast considering I've been through this with someone at least twice. But thoughts and opinions here from your experiences?
Posted by Sn1p3r187Nope. Flaws and hardships of other and different kinds, I can handle, but a person who is whiny, I can not stand in a relationship.
Can you honestly deal with people of this nature in a relationship. I find it hard to deal with them when they're too insecure and it's hard to want to be with them when they're insufferable, whiny, or need to be coddled and reassured all the time. It gets annoying fast considering I've been through this with someone at least twice. But thoughts and opinions here from your experiences?
Posted by SpiceNSugarI have Pisces Venus.
Realize that everyone is different. Some people see the cup as half empty, some see it as half full. Neither is right, neither is wrong.
Someone may have low self-esteem but have other qualities. Maybe it's worth seeing if the person's qualities outweigh their deficits.
Posted by xXxAliciaXxXHow can you say that? I feel so hurt! Take that back! HOW COULD YOUUU?!?!?
No I cannot deal with it. It's extremely annoying. Hence why I don't date Capricorn, Pisces, or Cancer men. Good God are they sensitive....
Posted by Vixen2
you're a Capricorn...cold as friggin ice
Posted by SensitiveBluesNot necessarily true, imo. You can be whiny and insecure about other things than about the relationship.Posted by Andalusiaexactly. people cling on cause they're insecure about YOUR INTENTIONS. BE CLEAR AND YOU WON'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.
I can't speak for others, but I only grip tighter with my hands when I am unsure of my footing, so to speak.
As in, when I am unclear what our status or understanding of the nature of our relationship is. Which is to say, when we are not on the same page. Needless to say, those situations do not last long. I can't handle the ambiguity and dislike the aspects of myself it brings out.click to expand
Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187depends if you are dealing with a feeling or sensitive person...Caps are known for being a bit insensitive. I'm just saying...blame astrologers for tacling that onto your descriptionPosted by Vixen2
you're a Capricorn...cold as friggin ice
Hey you've seen how warm I can be. It's just that that low self esteem is not really that healthy. Especially if the person is always like that. And you give them advice and they don't actually take it and use it to help themselves.click to expand
Posted by Sn1p3r187No. Neediness is the biggest turn of of all. I'm independent and I expect my partner to be as well.
Can you honestly deal with people of this nature in a relationship. I find it hard to deal with them when they're too insecure and it's hard to want to be with them when they're insufferable, whiny, or need to be coddled and reassured all the time. It gets annoying fast considering I've been through this with someone at least twice. But thoughts and opinions here from your experiences?
Posted by Sn1p3r187No. Neediness is the biggest turn of of all. I'm independent and I expect my partner to be as well.
Can you honestly deal with people of this nature in a relationship. I find it hard to deal with them when they're too insecure and it's hard to want to be with them when they're insufferable, whiny, or need to be coddled and reassured all the time. It gets annoying fast considering I've been through this with someone at least twice. But thoughts and opinions here from your experiences?
Posted by faceroll
then don't date insecure women? it's not complicated. you don't like it. they won't change. find someone else to be with. that's a fundamental part of their current emotional identity. if you're staying because they're hot or because the sex is good then suck it up. you've made your choice. if it's not that then why aren't you being compassionate? i find it odd that someone would want to stay with someone who they care so little about their feelings. and that's what it comes down to. either you care to deal with it or you don't. you can think of it as needing validation. if you don't want to validate feelings then don't date someone who wants their feelings validated.
it's like dating a smoker and then getting butthurt that they smoke. you knew that going in.
Posted by SensitiveBluesSorry, I don't get it. What person? I was speaking in general terms.Posted by HappyCapperi don't know that person.Posted by SensitiveBluesNot necessarily true, imo. You can be whiny and insecure about other things than about the relationship.Posted by Andalusiaexactly. people cling on cause they're insecure about YOUR INTENTIONS. BE CLEAR AND YOU WON'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.
I can't speak for others, but I only grip tighter with my hands when I am unsure of my footing, so to speak.
As in, when I am unclear what our status or understanding of the nature of our relationship is. Which is to say, when we are not on the same page. Needless to say, those situations do not last long. I can't handle the ambiguity and dislike the aspects of myself it brings out.click to expand
Posted by tizianiPosted by Sn1p3r187Did she ask for the advice though? Maybe she is not looking to changePosted by Vixen2
you're a Capricorn...cold as friggin ice
Hey you've seen how warm I can be. It's just that that low self esteem is not really that healthy. Especially if the person is always like that. And you give them advice and they don't actually take it and use it to help themselves.click to expand
Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187The thing is...that it really doesn't matter because when you find someone and they are the one, it doesn't matter if they are the opposite of you....you find yourself wanting to comfort that person, quell their insecurities, want to spend a lot of time with them...Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187depends if you are dealing with a feeling or sensitive person...Caps are known for being a bit insensitive. I'm just saying...blame astrologers for tacling that onto your descriptionPosted by Vixen2
you're a Capricorn...cold as friggin ice
Hey you've seen how warm I can be. It's just that that low self esteem is not really that healthy. Especially if the person is always like that. And you give them advice and they don't actually take it and use it to help themselves.
Lol, you're right. But tell me the difference between a feeling and sensitive person.
maybe you should do fwb...
or meet a cougar who doesn't want emotions or care if your sensitive to her needs and just wants you for sex because she has her own life and your life isn't included🙂
j/pclick to expand
Posted by rampartsMine is too and I agree, this can be really hard for men - it's tough to navigate and remind myself that actions speak louder than words and to really look at behaviors versus waiting for the words or even the flip side, putting too much trust in the words.
On the flip side...im learning how to NOT need reassurance and rely on their behaviors. My language of love is words of affirmation but that might be the most difficult for men so im learning to appreciate other forms of love
Posted by AndalusiaAnd I completely agree with this - I don't consider myself to have low self esteem, I'm a successful woman, but I have moments of crazy when I don't know where I stand in a relationship, especially if I've opened up to you, I let my guard down and now I'm confused, I grip tighter and I don't like it - so too much ambiguity and I'm gone - I don't just open up to anyone, so if I do, handle with care.
I can't speak for others, but I only grip tighter with my hands when I am unsure of my footing, so to speak.
As in, when I am unclear what our status or understanding of the nature of our relationship is. Which is to say, when we are not on the same page. Needless to say, those situations do not last long. I can't handle the ambiguity and dislike the aspects of myself it brings out.
Posted by Vixen2love changes everything.Posted by Sn1p3r187The thing is...that it really doesn't matter because when you find someone and they are the one, it doesn't matter if they are the opposite of you....you find yourself wanting to comfort that person, quell their insecurities, want to spend a lot of time with them...Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187depends if you are dealing with a feeling or sensitive person...Caps are known for being a bit insensitive. I'm just saying...blame astrologers for tacling that onto your descriptionPosted by Vixen2
you're a Capricorn...cold as friggin ice
Hey you've seen how warm I can be. It's just that that low self esteem is not really that healthy. Especially if the person is always like that. And you give them advice and they don't actually take it and use it to help themselves.
Lol, you're right. But tell me the difference between a feeling and sensitive person.
maybe you should do fwb...
or meet a cougar who doesn't want emotions or care if your sensitive to her needs and just wants you for sex because she has her own life and your life isn't included🙂
j/pclick to expand
Posted by SensitiveBluesThis!Posted by Andalusiaexactly. people cling on cause they're insecure about YOUR INTENTIONS. BE CLEAR AND YOU WON'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM.
I can't speak for others, but I only grip tighter with my hands when I am unsure of my footing, so to speak.
As in, when I am unclear what our status or understanding of the nature of our relationship is. Which is to say, when we are not on the same page. Needless to say, those situations do not last long. I can't handle the ambiguity and dislike the aspects of myself it brings out.click to expand
Posted by ShadowAbsorber
OP, what's your venus sign?
Posted by Vixen2my sister and mother in law have this placement.Posted by Sn1p3r187I have that as well...but mine doesn't belong to me, I'm certain of it. I am nothing like the description although I do wish I had alittle more detachment capabilities but I'm not clingy either...gotta be my fire placements that muck it up for mePosted by ShadowAbsorber
OP, what's your venus sign?
Aquuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaclick to expand
Posted by ImpulsvPosted by Sn1p3r187Oh more coldness lolPosted by ShadowAbsorber
OP, what's your venus sign?
Aquuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaclick to expand
Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187I have that as well...but mine doesn't belong to me, I'm certain of it. I am nothing like the description although I do wish I had alittle more detachment capabilities but I'm not clingy either...gotta be my fire placements that muck it up for mePosted by ShadowAbsorber
OP, what's your venus sign?
Aquuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaclick to expand
Posted by Sn1p3r187Do you tell them? How do they take it if you explain yourself?Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187I have that as well...but mine doesn't belong to me, I'm certain of it. I am nothing like the description although I do wish I had alittle more detachment capabilities but I'm not clingy either...gotta be my fire placements that muck it up for mePosted by ShadowAbsorber
OP, what's your venus sign?
Aquuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm hot and cold. I just don't like people getting too clingy with me. It's disturbing. Usually they get clingy.click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalPosted by Sn1p3r187Do you tell them? How do they take it if you explain yourself?Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187I have that as well...but mine doesn't belong to me, I'm certain of it. I am nothing like the description although I do wish I had alittle more detachment capabilities but I'm not clingy either...gotta be my fire placements that muck it up for mePosted by ShadowAbsorber
OP, what's your venus sign?
Aquuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm hot and cold. I just don't like people getting too clingy with me. It's disturbing. Usually they get clingy.click to expand
Posted by Sn1p3r187Oh. It's important that an accusatory tone not be used or one might get defensive...Posted by LillyPetalPosted by Sn1p3r187Do you tell them? How do they take it if you explain yourself?Posted by Vixen2Posted by Sn1p3r187I have that as well...but mine doesn't belong to me, I'm certain of it. I am nothing like the description although I do wish I had alittle more detachment capabilities but I'm not clingy either...gotta be my fire placements that muck it up for mePosted by ShadowAbsorber
OP, what's your venus sign?
Aquuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm hot and cold. I just don't like people getting too clingy with me. It's disturbing. Usually they get clingy.
They'd be like "I'm not clingy". When I know for a fact they are.click to expand
Posted by LuckyLibra979You sound like you're sexually frustrated.
Nope can't do it. I can understand if you're trying to better yourself but if you're gonna bitch and moan and do nothing about it what's the point? Not all insecure ppl are passive either. Some try and belittle every single thing you do. Its not just intimate relationships, I've had friends that do it too. They hate every little positive thing and swear up and down they are being attacked when in reality they are just projecting their negative behavior onto you.
Can't win with em, they'll deflect everything to you nothing is their fault because inside everything is their fault. Its easier for them to be in self denial than it is for then to be open and honest with themselves. I can't reassure somebody on a daily basis. You're an adult, gtfu and do something about it or let it go.
Posted by Vixen2
But what is clingy to you Sn1p3r?
Is it someone who likes to be around you, because she adores you? Or someone who likes to hold your hand because she's proud your her man, is it someone who wonders where you are when she doesn't hear from you in awhile...because she cares for you and worries? Is it someone who is overly passionate and intense?
I'm very interested in your answer and have my notebook on cap men out and am waiting to take notes...
Posted by LuckyLibra979You're a Libra, my opposite sign. It would feel like incest! #BoiledEggPosted by LillyPetalPosted by LuckyLibra979You sound like you're sexually frustrated.
Nope can't do it. I can understand if you're trying to better yourself but if you're gonna bitch and moan and do nothing about it what's the point? Not all insecure ppl are passive either. Some try and belittle every single thing you do. Its not just intimate relationships, I've had friends that do it too. They hate every little positive thing and swear up and down they are being attacked when in reality they are just projecting their negative behavior onto you.
Can't win with em, they'll deflect everything to you nothing is their fault because inside everything is their fault. Its easier for them to be in self denial than it is for then to be open and honest with themselves. I can't reassure somebody on a daily basis. You're an adult, gtfu and do something about it or let it go.
Well, fuck me or stfuclick to expand
Posted by Sn1p3r187Did the person ask for your advice?Posted by Vixen2
you're a Capricorn...cold as friggin ice
Hey you've seen how warm I can be. It's just that that low self esteem is not really that healthy. Especially if the person is always like that. And you give them advice and they don't actually take it and use it to help themselves.click to expand
Posted by LillyPetalWhy would it be like incest? this is the second time I have heard this.Posted by LuckyLibra979You're a Libra, my opposite sign. It would feel like incest! #BoiledEggPosted by LillyPetalPosted by LuckyLibra979You sound like you're sexually frustrated.
Nope can't do it. I can understand if you're trying to better yourself but if you're gonna bitch and moan and do nothing about it what's the point? Not all insecure ppl are passive either. Some try and belittle every single thing you do. Its not just intimate relationships, I've had friends that do it too. They hate every little positive thing and swear up and down they are being attacked when in reality they are just projecting their negative behavior onto you.
Can't win with em, they'll deflect everything to you nothing is their fault because inside everything is their fault. Its easier for them to be in self denial than it is for then to be open and honest with themselves. I can't reassure somebody on a daily basis. You're an adult, gtfu and do something about it or let it go.
Well, fuck me or stfuclick to expand
Posted by SpiceNSugarPosted by Sn1p3r187Did the person ask for your advice?Posted by Vixen2
you're a Capricorn...cold as friggin ice
Hey you've seen how warm I can be. It's just that that low self esteem is not really that healthy. Especially if the person is always like that. And you give them advice and they don't actually take it and use it to help themselves.click to expand
Posted by DonnaElvira77
Low self esteem is toxic in relationships. For both parties. It's also unfair to both parties in the long term. People with low self esteem tend to have “lower quality relationships” than people with healthy self esteem. Their relationships have less love and trust, and more conflict and ambivalence.
People with low self esteem are less emotionally stable.
I know it's an issue i struggle with.Regardless of their self esteem, people tend to assume that other people see them in a similar way to how they see themselves. For example, if I think I’m warm, attractive, smart, and funny then I’m likely to assume that other people also see me this way. If i see myself as dirty or low or whatever ..then i will think others see this.
So people with high self esteem, who generally see themselves positively, tend to believe other people see them positively. They typically think that people who don’t know them yet will probably like them and that people who already like them will keep liking them.
As I have said it's an issue I have struggled with. It can be a very long journey. Society still sees this issues in a victorian way sometimes I think.
What’s important to note about low self esteem is that most people with “low self esteem” don’t see themselves consistently negatively. Most people with low self esteem are probably better described as having “fluctuating self esteem.”
It can be helped but it takes a long time. It's a tough road. But worth it :-)
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