My Bf Doesn't F*** Me Enough.

EDIT (copied and pasted response):

Anyway. Problem solved guys I just literally took your advice and told him.

I guess I was afraid to tell him outright and when we talked about it before I always went round about ways.

Ok so he was supposed to come over tonight. He didnt (it's okay he had a legit reason)

And he told me that basically he pretty much wants to have sex with me the whole time everytime were together but he doesn't want to bother me. Lol. Because when we were younger he thinks he always used to bother me.

😂

I told him no thAt I loved it and I would love it now.

I asked him what he would like to change moving forward and he said that he would like me to keep going after he climaxes because every time I stop and he says it's disappointing.



So that's all good.

__________________________________________________

For those who want to read the OG post. Nosey bastards 😂😂

I need it once a day at LEAST.

If we haven't planned a date together ok I don't mind, he could at least come over to fuck me in the toilets or the changing room or somewhere like we used to when we were young then go about his business.

I'm constantly horny. We're not a the stage where we are playing games or where we feel like the other would judge us.

I mean I met him when I was 17 for god's sake.

We're way past all that now even though we went a long while without seeing each other.

My Scorpio ex is starting to become a sexual fantasy I can't seem to get out of my head. He's always trying to see me but my actual bf isn't and I've told him this already.

I don't always want to go out on dates. I want him to slam me against the wall, lift up my dress in the streets of Paris and leave me with no choice. Wtf is he playing at.

Posted by Silverado

You've got issues.

Why ?

What's wrong with wanting to have regular sex with the man you're in love with ?

Posted by -Damous

I think it was more the “leave me no choice” where Silverado was getting at the issues, but I could be wrong

Clearly don't want him to force me. But I was hoping people were smart enough to get the picture. I need hot bothered rough but sweet sex.



We used to have that kind of sex everyday when we were younger and now he just wants to go out on dates to the movies or the restaurant.

Posted by Marai

Try fasting for a while. Maybe you'll appreciate your bf more. Hes not a sextoy. Jesus

Haha men are humans. Not sex toys.

😛

No seriously. How do i resolve this mismatch in sexual needs ?

Posted by MissKrabs

This will be shocking for you 😂 but people have diff sex drives.

It's pure torture. Omg.

I feel like I think about it all the time. And we just got together. First he didn't want to have sex with me at the beginning and wanted to take it slow. Ok.

Then when we finally got to it thought we'd be going at it like rabbits. But his sex drive is like a grandpa. I pretty much wake him up every morning with a bj hoping he'll put me to sleep with his...You get the picture

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by Silverado

You've got issues.

Why ?

What's wrong with wanting to have regular sex with the man you're in love with ?

There's a threat of cheating in your OP, as though if you are not given what you feel entitled to, you have the right to cheat. I'd say that's an issue.

click to expand

Well in any relationship where the sexual drive or desires of one are not being fulfilled there's a risk of cheating. So shrug to that.

However I did say he's a FANTASY I didn't say I'd act out on it. We all have fantasies.

Posted by AE88

Crappy situation. Can’t light his fire even with daily bj’s

It literally sucks.

I mean he'll receive the bj then say thank you. And be all happy. Erm...what about me ?

Posted by MissKrabs

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by MissKrabs

This will be shocking for you 😂 but people have diff sex drives.

It's pure torture. Omg.

I feel like I think about it all the time. And we just got together. First he didn't want to have sex with me at the beginning and wanted to take it slow. Ok.

Then when we finally got to it thought we'd be going at it like rabbits. But his sex drive is like a grandpa. I pretty much wake him up every morning with a bj hoping he'll put me to sleep with his...You get the picture

I know i have a gf with similar complaints. It's just, he is her husband lol. I see how she struggles, and every 3 months she talks about getting a divorce. It wasn't like that at first. Not sure how she lived when she was single.

click to expand

He's been talking about marriage lately. But I don't see how that would work out if we're not on the same page for that. It's scaring me for our future.

Posted by HearttofTopazz

Posted by generation_xy

Posted by HearttofTopazz

You have unrealistic expectations. You aren’t teenagers anymore. People can’t just drop all of their responsibilities because you want to be fucked in an alleyway.

Have you him tried telling him that you want more spontaneous sex? Do you initiate sex? Believe it or not, men like to feel wanted too and don’t always want to be the one having to initiate it.

Does he know about your ex that keeps trying to meet up?

Alleyways are so dirty. I feel like you can get uti just by touching the walls. ✋

Maybe if one wore a long poncho with a hole cut out, it would be okay.

... Lmao jk. I can’t even use a public restroom without lining the seat with TP and doing a lil hover.

click to expand

Hey guys. When I said I wanted him to f me in the streets I didn't say dirty alleyways. 🤔🧐

Also it was me saying that I need more spontaneous sex.

But even though I've talked to him about it, he hasn't really been making any efforts.

Posted by HearttofTopazz

You have unrealistic expectations. You aren’t teenagers anymore. People can’t just drop all of their responsibilities because you want to be fucked in an alleyway.

Have you him tried telling him that you want more spontaneous sex? Do you initiate sex? Believe it or not, men like to feel wanted too and don’t always want to be the one having to initiate it.

Does he know about your ex that keeps trying to meet up?

I initiate it 80% of the time.

He initiates it when we're both in bed and about to sleep. He wakes me up from time to time in the middle of the night for sex. Which is nice.

I wake him up with BJ's.



Which responsablities ? He doesn't have any kids. He barely works. He has what one would call family money so his work (music) he does it when he feels like it. I'm the one who works. So he has the time to come a do me like there's no tomorrow.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by Silverado

You've got issues.

Why ?

What's wrong with wanting to have regular sex with the man you're in love with ?

There's a threat of cheating in your OP, as though if you are not given what you feel entitled to, you have the right to cheat. I'd say that's an issue.

Well in any relationship where the sexual drive or desires of one are not being fulfilled there's a risk of cheating. So shrug to that.

However I did say he's a FANTASY I didn't say I'd act out on it. We all have fantasies.

Would you be so dissatisfied if you didn't know there is a REAL person trying to have sex with you? That's a little different than a fantasy. It's an option, and the more you entertain it, the more dissatisfied I think you'll be.

Very different sex drives is a problem. You guys are pretty young to be experiencing that problem.

click to expand

I think you're right.

I'm fantasizing on an option.

It's an option. My ex is still an option.

Our sex drives are on different planets.

He's only 30 I'm 25.

We're both still at that age where we should be having lots of sex.

Posted by -Damous

Tell him you need to sit down and really talk about the sexual aspect of your relationship and how unsatisfied you’re feeling.

The marriage card has to leave the table if you don’t have sexual compatibility (he won’t fuck you), you won’t be satisfied with toys/yourself or you can’t fuck someone else lmao

The problem is that we've talked about it. Twice.



I mean sometimes I even send him sexts which I never do. But he rarely ever responds I know he's on meds but he doesn't seem to want to decrease his intake so...



Now I think I'm officially unsatisfied. Yet everything else is perfect.

Have I been cursed ?

Posted by tiziani

Yeah but what Damous is getting at is have you both talked about how you feel?

Yes twice.

You're right.

I'm going to have a 3rd and final serious talk about this with him.

It's a rather important issue.

Posted by LalasReturn

I need it once a day at LEAST.

If we haven't planned a date together ok I don't mind, he could at least come over to fuck me in the toilets or the changing room or somewhere like we used to when we were young then go about his business.

I'm constantly horny. We're not a the stage where we are playing games or where we feel like the other would judge us.

I mean I met him when I was 17 for god's sake.

We're way past all that now even though we went a long while without seeing each other.

My Scorpio ex is starting to become a sexual fantasy I can't seem to get out of my head. He's always trying to see me but my actual bf isn't and I've told him this already.

I don't always want to go out on dates. I want him to slam me against the wall, lift up my dress in the streets of Paris and leave me with no choice. Wtf is he playing at.

Hey there, how you doing? 😉

Posted by HearttofTopazz

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HearttofTopazz

You have unrealistic expectations. You aren’t teenagers anymore. People can’t just drop all of their responsibilities because you want to be fucked in an alleyway.

Have you him tried telling him that you want more spontaneous sex? Do you initiate sex? Believe it or not, men like to feel wanted too and don’t always want to be the one having to initiate it.

Does he know about your ex that keeps trying to meet up?

I initiate it 80% of the time.

He initiates it when we're both in bed and about to sleep. He wakes me up from time to time in the middle of the night for sex. Which is nice.

I wake him up with BJ's.



Which responsablities ? He doesn't have any kids. He barely works. He has what one would call family money so his work (music) he does it when he feels like it. I'm the one who works. So he has the time to come a do me like there's no tomorrow.

Like someone else mentioned, everyone has different sex drives. Get on top of him in the mornings, so you both benefit from it. Don’t keep giving him Bjs if you’re going to feel resentful afterwards.. lmao. I feel like Bjs are more of a nice gesture, and it doesn’t automatically mean they have to reciprocate. If you feel differently, then you need to communicate that.

But if you’re constantly telling him you’re unsatisfied in your sex life and your ex wants to meet up then I can see where that would lead to less sex, rather than more. That isn’t going to get anyone in the mood.

Just because he doesn’t have kids or work enough to live up to your standards, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to sex. Lol. Sounds like you need to set him free and find someone else.

click to expand

No.

I didn't say that he doesn't work enough to live up to MY standards. I pay my own way in life. And he is lucky enough not to need to. I don't mind.

What I meant by that is that he HAS TIME to do me.

But I guess what we can can all agree on is that he doesn't want me. I guess. I mean he tells me that since we've been together he's had more solo times. And that he seeks porn actresses that look like me.

So I don't understand.



Oh no he has no idea about the ex.

I have no good reasons to tell him that. That's cruel. I love him. I don't want to hurt him. Plus like I said the ex has become a sexual fantasy/option only because I feel sexually depraved.



But maybe you're right. Either way we have missmatched sex drives and maybe I should let him go.

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by MissKrabs

This will be shocking for you 😂 but people have diff sex drives.

It's pure torture. Omg.

I feel like I think about it all the time. And we just got together. First he didn't want to have sex with me at the beginning and wanted to take it slow. Ok.

Then when we finally got to it thought we'd be going at it like rabbits. But his sex drive is like a grandpa. I pretty much wake him up every morning with a bj hoping he'll put me to sleep with his...You get the picture

click to expand

Don‘t wake him up with a bj if you want to get banged girl! Just make him horny and he‘ll do the rest

When my partner didn't meet my demands (not that they were ever unrealistically high, but ppl go through shit) I'd just jerk off and go on with my day.. appreciate the sex for what it is when the occassion comes. No biggie.

Jeez women are truly spoiled in this department. Can't even flick the bean for a change, but used to getting it whenever you spread your legs.

Posted by enfant_terrible

When my partner didn't meet my demands (not that they were ever unrealistically high, but ppl go through shit) I'd just jerk off and go on with my day.. appreciate the sex for what it is when the occassion comes. No biggie.

Jeez women are truly spoiled in this department. Can't even flick the bean for a change, but used to getting it whenever you spread your legs.

My bean is overflicked.

+You have no idea what you're talking about. Sex with your love and sex with yourself are not interchangeable. Like...at all...🤔

Posted by AE88

Idk your whole situation. But if y’all see each other everyday, that can diminish attraction.

No I think maybe he's not attracted to me as much as I am to him.

He doesn't crave me as much as I do him.

Posted by AquaNextDoor

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by MissKrabs

This will be shocking for you 😂 but people have diff sex drives.

It's pure torture. Omg.

I feel like I think about it all the time. And we just got together. First he didn't want to have sex with me at the beginning and wanted to take it slow. Ok.

Then when we finally got to it thought we'd be going at it like rabbits. But his sex drive is like a grandpa. I pretty much wake him up every morning with a bj hoping he'll put me to sleep with his...You get the picture

Don‘t wake him up with a bj if you want to get banged girl! Just make him horny and he‘ll do the rest

click to expand

Haha nice one. You're right.

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by AE88

Idk your whole situation. But if y’all see each other everyday, that can diminish attraction.

No I think maybe he's not attracted to me as much as I am to him.

He doesn't crave me as much as I do him.

click to expand

I am the prize.

Posted by MissKrabs

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HearttofTopazz

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HearttofTopazz

You have unrealistic expectations. You aren’t teenagers anymore. People can’t just drop all of their responsibilities because you want to be fucked in an alleyway.

Have you him tried telling him that you want more spontaneous sex? Do you initiate sex? Believe it or not, men like to feel wanted too and don’t always want to be the one having to initiate it.

Does he know about your ex that keeps trying to meet up?

I initiate it 80% of the time.

He initiates it when we're both in bed and about to sleep. He wakes me up from time to time in the middle of the night for sex. Which is nice.

I wake him up with BJ's.



Which responsablities ? He doesn't have any kids. He barely works. He has what one would call family money so his work (music) he does it when he feels like it. I'm the one who works. So he has the time to come a do me like there's no tomorrow.

Like someone else mentioned, everyone has different sex drives. Get on top of him in the mornings, so you both benefit from it. Don’t keep giving him Bjs if you’re going to feel resentful afterwards.. lmao. I feel like Bjs are more of a nice gesture, and it doesn’t automatically mean they have to reciprocate. If you feel differently, then you need to communicate that.

But if you’re constantly telling him you’re unsatisfied in your sex life and your ex wants to meet up then I can see where that would lead to less sex, rather than more. That isn’t going to get anyone in the mood.

Just because he doesn’t have kids or work enough to live up to your standards, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to sex. Lol. Sounds like you need to set him free and find someone else.

No.

I didn't say that he doesn't work enough to live up to MY standards. I pay my own way in life. And he is lucky enough not to need to. I don't mind.

What I meant by that is that he HAS TIME to do me.

But I guess what we can can all agree on is that he doesn't want me. I guess. I mean he tells me that since we've been together he's had more solo times. And that he seeks porn actresses that look like me.

So I don't understand.



Oh no he has no idea about the ex.

I have no good reasons to tell him that. That's cruel. I love him. I don't want to hurt him. Plus like I said the ex has become a sexual fantasy/option only because I feel sexually depraved.



But maybe you're right. Either way we have missmatched sex drives and maybe I should let him go.

The solo times might me just related to timing and meds. You are simply not there at the moment.

click to expand

I keep forgetting about the meds.

I have to think about the meds.

When he wasn't on meds he was a horn ball.

Lol.

Now he takes a quadruple dose of very heavy meds. How selfish of me to keep forgetting that.

Thank you for reminding me.

Posted by HeartofIce

If it bothers you this much, just break up with the dude instead of fantasizing about fucking your ex while you're still dating someone else.

Boobs.

Nymphos unite!



I'd accommodate you, gurl, too bad I only like sausage. But 34 years old and can keep up with a 21yo.....and even upstage the little freak. Aries Venus/Mars/Mercury RULE #humblebrag

Learn to masturbate. Learn to orgasm multiple times (which actually works much better WITHOUT a man!

@LalasReturn

maybe you should court him a bit?

I mean the morning bj is maybe too straighforward..... try something romantic?

or just turn him on somehow, lingerie, sweet talking and texting..... I dont know 🙂

is he with the cancer moon? try some bondage 🙂

the meds can be an issue as well

you said you are not texting and he is not responding if you texts.... it seems communication is an issue?

sometimes old-school sweethearts are not meant to be

sometimes you should change approach, but consistenly, not just once and dont give up after trying once to do something romantic

maybe

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow

Nymphos unite!

I'd accommodate you, gurl, too bad I only like sausage. But 34 years old and can keep up with a 21yo.....and even upstage the little freak. Aries Venus/Mars/Mercury RULE #humblebrag

lol

Aries Mars is like a constant hard-on. I'm not complaining.

click to expand

Don't I know it......



I'm just putting together a party playlist for a birthday, for God's sake. Granted, it's been a few hours since we rolled around like weasels, but.....



What are you grinning at, missy? And BY THE WAY!! With all these damn new accounts I can't keep up.

Who. Are. YOU—

Be less selfish and think about him too. He and his are not tools. And grow up! You say 25 but act like a teenage spoilt brat.

Consider yourself lucky, sex is way better than no sex! And plus theres always mastubation

coming from a single girl



Also the feeling of needing sex is like an addiction

Posted by Pandora101

@LalasReturn

maybe you should court him a bit?

I mean the morning bj is maybe too straighforward..... try something romantic?

or just turn him on somehow, lingerie, sweet talking and texting..... I dont know 🙂

is he with the cancer moon? try some bondage 🙂

the meds can be an issue as well

you said you are not texting and he is not responding if you texts.... it seems communication is an issue?

sometimes old-school sweethearts are not meant to be

sometimes you should change approach, but consistenly, not just once and dont give up after trying once to do something romantic

maybe

He's coming over tonight. I'll try the lingerie.

Posted by HeartofIce

Posted by nanobot

Posted by HeartofIce

If it bothers you this much, just break up with the dude instead of fantasizing about fucking your ex while you're still dating someone else.

I'm wondering what the med is that she asked him to decrease.

"He doesn't seem to want to decrease his meds" makes it sound like it's optional

I dunno but OP sounds like she wants to go back to being abused just to bitch about it again lol

click to expand

Oh lord. I definitely don't.

That's a really mean thing to say.

Me fantasizing about sex with my ex because I'm in a moment of sex deprivation doesn't mean I WILL get back with him. Ever. Like ever.

I'm not suicidal.

Posted by mudra_

You need a fun dildo or something

Haha I have one.

Hey I don't know why people speak as though dildos and vibrator are the same as me having sex with my chéri.

It really isn't. Like nowhere near. When I want sex with my bf, I'm craving intimacy with him.

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by mudra_

You need a fun dildo or something

Haha I have one.

Hey I don't know why people speak as though dildos and vibrator are the same as me having sex with my chéri.

It really isn't. Like nowhere near. When I want sex with my bf, I'm craving intimacy with him.

click to expand

Yet you are fantasizing about your ex. Doesn't seem like a chéri thing, more like a sex thing. If it was about intimacy and lurve you'd be fantasizing about your current bae

Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTown

I hate sex everyday. So not fun.

I don't.

Posted by LethalFantasia

Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTown

I hate sex everyday. So not fun.

You're gonna lahv it 2nite bb

click to expand

😂😂😂

Posted by Sleepyquantro

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by MissKrabs

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HearttofTopazz

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HearttofTopazz

You have unrealistic expectations. You aren’t teenagers anymore. People can’t just drop all of their responsibilities because you want to be fucked in an alleyway.

Have you him tried telling him that you want more spontaneous sex? Do you initiate sex? Believe it or not, men like to feel wanted too and don’t always want to be the one having to initiate it.

Does he know about your ex that keeps trying to meet up?

I initiate it 80% of the time.

He initiates it when we're both in bed and about to sleep. He wakes me up from time to time in the middle of the night for sex. Which is nice.

I wake him up with BJ's.



Which responsablities ? He doesn't have any kids. He barely works. He has what one would call family money so his work (music) he does it when he feels like it. I'm the one who works. So he has the time to come a do me like there's no tomorrow.

Like someone else mentioned, everyone has different sex drives. Get on top of him in the mornings, so you both benefit from it. Don’t keep giving him Bjs if you’re going to feel resentful afterwards.. lmao. I feel like Bjs are more of a nice gesture, and it doesn’t automatically mean they have to reciprocate. If you feel differently, then you need to communicate that.

But if you’re constantly telling him you’re unsatisfied in your sex life and your ex wants to meet up then I can see where that would lead to less sex, rather than more. That isn’t going to get anyone in the mood.

Just because he doesn’t have kids or work enough to live up to your standards, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to sex. Lol. Sounds like you need to set him free and find someone else.

No.

I didn't say that he doesn't work enough to live up to MY standards. I pay my own way in life. And he is lucky enough not to need to. I don't mind.

What I meant by that is that he HAS TIME to do me.

But I guess what we can can all agree on is that he doesn't want me. I guess. I mean he tells me that since we've been together he's had more solo times. And that he seeks porn actresses that look like me.

So I don't understand.



Oh no he has no idea about the ex.

I have no good reasons to tell him that. That's cruel. I love him. I don't want to hurt him. Plus like I said the ex has become a sexual fantasy/option only because I feel sexually depraved.



But maybe you're right. Either way we have missmatched sex drives and maybe I should let him go.

The solo times might me just related to timing and meds. You are simply not there at the moment.

I keep forgetting about the meds.

I have to think about the meds.

When he wasn't on meds he was a horn ball.

Lol.

Now he takes a quadruple dose of very heavy meds. How selfish of me to keep forgetting that.

Thank you for reminding me.

The meds sound like it could solely be to blame, especially if his drive was higher without them. Meds can do that! I once had a coworker that said her husband was on meds and it had striveled/shrunk his penis so small that he was unable to please her, and it made him feel really bad about it. Unfortunately It was out of his control, but she was bi, so luckily he was ok with that. She stayed with him until he died.

click to expand

Omg. Wow. Well I dunno he's coming later. We've had the talk about his meds quite a few times.

He was the one who initially wanted to deacrese his dose but now he doesn't seem to want to which is his right. It his body.

But my body wants his body more often :p

Without the meds he is indeed hornier than me. Wanting it all the time haha which I never ever complained about.

Posted by HeartofIce

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HeartofIce

Posted by nanobot

Posted by HeartofIce

If it bothers you this much, just break up with the dude instead of fantasizing about fucking your ex while you're still dating someone else.

I'm wondering what the med is that she asked him to decrease.

"He doesn't seem to want to decrease his meds" makes it sound like it's optional

I dunno but OP sounds like she wants to go back to being abused just to bitch about it again lol

Oh lord. I definitely don't.

That's a really mean thing to say.

Me fantasizing about sex with my ex because I'm in a moment of sex deprivation doesn't mean I WILL get back with him. Ever. Like ever.

I'm not suicidal.

You're fantasizing about sex with an ex who abused you while you're dating someone who has done nothing of the sort and you're trashing shit about the guy you're dating and putting this abuser on a fucking pedestal.

click to expand

What ?

I am not trashing him at all. I love him to bits. Which posts have you been reading and where on earth did you see me put my ex on a pedestal? Wtf. What's wrong with you. You're reading this all wrong.

Stap.

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by mudra_

You need a fun dildo or something

Haha I have one.

Hey I don't know why people speak as though dildos and vibrator are the same as me having sex with my chéri.

It really isn't. Like nowhere near. When I want sex with my bf, I'm craving intimacy with him.

Yet you are fantasizing about your ex. Doesn't seem like a chéri thing, more like a sex thing. If it was about intimacy and lurve you'd be fantasizing about your current bae

click to expand

Which is what I'm doing.

Hence why I'm still with him and trying to have sex with HIM. Because I desire HIM.

Otherwise I would have broken up already.

Y'all mean to say that in times when you were horny you never fantasized about anyone other than your partner. Stop the bs

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by mudra_

You need a fun dildo or something

Haha I have one.

Hey I don't know why people speak as though dildos and vibrator are the same as me having sex with my chéri.

It really isn't. Like nowhere near. When I want sex with my bf, I'm craving intimacy with him.

Yet you are fantasizing about your ex. Doesn't seem like a chéri thing, more like a sex thing. If it was about intimacy and lurve you'd be fantasizing about your current bae

Which is what I'm doing.

Hence why I'm still with him and trying to have sex with HIM. Because I desire HIM.

Otherwise I would have broken up already.

Y'all mean to say that in times when you were horny you never fantasized about anyone other than your partner. Stop the bs

click to expand

If I'm thirsty for fucking my partner I'm probably not fantasizing about some ex. Why u mad doe?

Posted by mudra_

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by mudra_

You need a fun dildo or something

Haha I have one.

Hey I don't know why people speak as though dildos and vibrator are the same as me having sex with my chéri.

It really isn't. Like nowhere near. When I want sex with my bf, I'm craving intimacy with him.

Yea. It really sucks getting put on meds that completely change how your body operates. I feel him on that. Makes things not fair and makes people feel inadequate especially if their lover is mentioning things about temptation elsewhere.

click to expand

I haven't told him about my ex contacting me.

I don't plan on ever doing that. He'd go out and do something stupid.

But no no the meds we need to have a serious chat about. I love him so much. I just think intimacy is so important. It's like an act of rejuvenation or souls linking.

It's necessary to me.

Posted by generation_xy

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by mudra_

You need a fun dildo or something

Haha I have one.

Hey I don't know why people speak as though dildos and vibrator are the same as me having sex with my chéri.

It really isn't. Like nowhere near. When I want sex with my bf, I'm craving intimacy with him.

Yet you are fantasizing about your ex. Doesn't seem like a chéri thing, more like a sex thing. If it was about intimacy and lurve you'd be fantasizing about your current bae

Which is what I'm doing.

Hence why I'm still with him and trying to have sex with HIM. Because I desire HIM.

Otherwise I would have broken up already.

Y'all mean to say that in times when you were horny you never fantasized about anyone other than your partner. Stop the bs

Not an ex and who wants to see me

I'm not judging you or anything like that but just giving you an outsider's perspective

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Well despite our toxic relationship, the sex was good.

It was the only thing that was good actually. So I guess I'm remembering. But I guess next time I post I should keep thoughts like that to myself. Because people were bound to get judgy for this post.

I feel like everytime I post I look for genuine answers and am often met with contempt and disdain.

Posted by HeartofIce

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HeartofIce

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HeartofIce

Posted by nanobot

Posted by HeartofIce

If it bothers you this much, just break up with the dude instead of fantasizing about fucking your ex while you're still dating someone else.

I'm wondering what the med is that she asked him to decrease.

"He doesn't seem to want to decrease his meds" makes it sound like it's optional

I dunno but OP sounds like she wants to go back to being abused just to bitch about it again lol

Oh lord. I definitely don't.

That's a really mean thing to say.

Me fantasizing about sex with my ex because I'm in a moment of sex deprivation doesn't mean I WILL get back with him. Ever. Like ever.

I'm not suicidal.

You're fantasizing about sex with an ex who abused you while you're dating someone who has done nothing of the sort and you're trashing shit about the guy you're dating and putting this abuser on a fucking pedestal.

What ?

I am not trashing him at all. I love him to bits. Which posts have you been reading and where on earth did you see me put my ex on a pedestal? Wtf. What's wrong with you. You're reading this all wrong.

Stap.

You're trashing your current boyfriend for not being a sex machine and you're fantasizing about fucking your abusive ex while you're with this normal dude. You literally wrote this shit in this thread.

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Sex machine. 🙄🙄🙄Girl shut up. Go somewhere.

Posted by mudra_

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by mudra_

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by mudra_

You need a fun dildo or something

Haha I have one.

Hey I don't know why people speak as though dildos and vibrator are the same as me having sex with my chéri.

It really isn't. Like nowhere near. When I want sex with my bf, I'm craving intimacy with him.

Yea. It really sucks getting put on meds that completely change how your body operates. I feel him on that. Makes things not fair and makes people feel inadequate especially if their lover is mentioning things about temptation elsewhere.

I haven't told him about my ex contacting me.

I don't plan on ever doing that. He'd go out and do something stupid.

But no no the meds we need to have a serious chat about. I love him so much. I just think intimacy is so important. It's like an act of rejuvenation or souls linking.

It's necessary to me.

I see what you mean. And I know. It's also important for me and would feel disappointing in some ways.

But coming from a place of understanding since you love him so much... perhaps try looking within yourself for satisfaction with reflection on the situation. Keep yourself busy with things you love instead of focusing on what you can get out of him to feel fulfilled. Ultimately, only you can fulfill yourself. A partner is an addition. And I think we easily get addicted to the addition wanting and expecting more more more.

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Hmmm that's food for thought. Indeed. Thank you. Maybe I was hoping that the relationship would be the same as it was before. But he's changed. Now he's on his meds and I can't expect him to go back to being how he was 7 years ago.

We'll talk about it later. I'll let you know how it goes. When we talk I ask him questions and forget to tell him what I would like moving forward so I should do that.

Posted by Generous_Libra

Posted by nanobot

Geminis typically live in our heads so we aren't all about fucking 24/7, we have other more important things to do and think about. Yes this is a sexual incompatibility. This does not concern me, it is what it is

What concerns me and disturbs me in this situation is the scorpio ex that you still talk to/fantasize about.

Isn't he the one that you made so many threads about, the one that beat you and was emotionally and psychologically abusive too? Why would you even disrespect yourself to still be talking to him, let alone be thinking about him in that way?

And disrespecting your bf who has treated you right and only crime is that he doesn't fuck you everyday?

Omg was thinking the same, I don't think the Gemini is stimulated enough here or else he'd be all about it talking then doing it

I mean the only time she said he initiates is in the middle of the night when dreaming about sth lol

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Like I said. This Is a man I was with before. We used to fu*k like rabbits. He always initiated it but yeah the question has been solved. The issue is his meds.

Posted by nanobot

"My Scorpio ex is starting to become a sexual fantasy I can't seem to get out of my head. He's always trying to see me but my actual bf isn't and I've told him this already."



Lala, do you think that you are desiring your abuser and "can't get him out of your head" because on some level internally... you don't feel worthy of love and a normal and healthy relationship, so you're trying to pick fights and create problems that don't exist to sabotage what you have with the Gemini man and go back to your ex where you feel the most comfortable?

Because I don't think this drama is actually over not having sex every single say, as a grown woman. You need to look inside yourself, be truthful, and figure out where this is coming from and what the problem really stems from.

Hello.

Thanks. I appreciate you coming from a place of care and not spite.

However I disagree as I haven't picked any fights with my bf. We haven't fought and I haven't even talked about my ex. I only did at the beginning of the relationship when he asked me why we'd broken up.

I do indeed have a history with a abusive men (male family member) and my current bf is aware of that as he's known me since I was very young.

So he understands the sexual struggles I may have.

Maybe more so than myself.

On the other hand I think I may have worded OP wrong. I don't desire to have sex with my ex because I want my ex. I fantasize about it because it was satisfying and frequent. But I also fantasize about my bf. I love him to bits he's the main object of my fantasies. I just recently started ALSO thinking about sex with my ex.

My bf is not aware of that and never will be. Nor is he aware that my ex still texts me (I don't answer anymore. I haven't for a while.)



But yeah I think the real issue is his meds and my adaption or lack thereof to his new medicated self.

It's something I think he and u should work on together.

Posted by Sleepyquantro

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Sleepyquantro

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by MissKrabs

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HearttofTopazz

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by HearttofTopazz

You have unrealistic expectations. You aren’t teenagers anymore. People can’t just drop all of their responsibilities because you want to be fucked in an alleyway.

Have you him tried telling him that you want more spontaneous sex? Do you initiate sex? Believe it or not, men like to feel wanted too and don’t always want to be the one having to initiate it.

Does he know about your ex that keeps trying to meet up?

I initiate it 80% of the time.

He initiates it when we're both in bed and about to sleep. He wakes me up from time to time in the middle of the night for sex. Which is nice.

I wake him up with BJ's.



Which responsablities ? He doesn't have any kids. He barely works. He has what one would call family money so his work (music) he does it when he feels like it. I'm the one who works. So he has the time to come a do me like there's no tomorrow.

Like someone else mentioned, everyone has different sex drives. Get on top of him in the mornings, so you both benefit from it. Don’t keep giving him Bjs if you’re going to feel resentful afterwards.. lmao. I feel like Bjs are more of a nice gesture, and it doesn’t automatically mean they have to reciprocate. If you feel differently, then you need to communicate that.

But if you’re constantly telling him you’re unsatisfied in your sex life and your ex wants to meet up then I can see where that would lead to less sex, rather than more. That isn’t going to get anyone in the mood.

Just because he doesn’t have kids or work enough to live up to your standards, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to sex. Lol. Sounds like you need to set him free and find someone else.

No.

I didn't say that he doesn't work enough to live up to MY standards. I pay my own way in life. And he is lucky enough not to need to. I don't mind.

What I meant by that is that he HAS TIME to do me.

But I guess what we can can all agree on is that he doesn't want me. I guess. I mean he tells me that since we've been together he's had more solo times. And that he seeks porn actresses that look like me.

So I don't understand.



Oh no he has no idea about the ex.

I have no good reasons to tell him that. That's cruel. I love him. I don't want to hurt him. Plus like I said the ex has become a sexual fantasy/option only because I feel sexually depraved.



But maybe you're right. Either way we have missmatched sex drives and maybe I should let him go.

The solo times might me just related to timing and meds. You are simply not there at the moment.

I keep forgetting about the meds.

I have to think about the meds.

When he wasn't on meds he was a horn ball.

Lol.

Now he takes a quadruple dose of very heavy meds. How selfish of me to keep forgetting that.

Thank you for reminding me.

The meds sound like it could solely be to blame, especially if his drive was higher without them. Meds can do that! I once had a coworker that said her husband was on meds and it had striveled/shrunk his penis so small that he was unable to please her, and it made him feel really bad about it. Unfortunately It was out of his control, but she was bi, so luckily he was ok with that. She stayed with him until he died.

damn, I was unprepared for this story. It's like a movie within a post.

Lol

It was pretty sad! Also ended sadly! She was an older lady, in her early 50’s I believe, and I think his meds were for diabetes (but not 100% sure). They were together since they were teenagers, although on and off, throughout the yrs.

We still worked together at the time of his passing. I felt really bad for her, she really loved him!

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I don't think I could go on living without him amongst the living and breathing.

I couldn't. I can't fathom the idea.

Just the idea that he wasn't well when we were together and people were lying telling me he was ok when he wasn't makes me sick to my stomach.

Posted by Generous_Libra

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by Generous_Libra

Posted by nanobot

Geminis typically live in our heads so we aren't all about fucking 24/7, we have other more important things to do and think about. Yes this is a sexual incompatibility. This does not concern me, it is what it is

What concerns me and disturbs me in this situation is the scorpio ex that you still talk to/fantasize about.

Isn't he the one that you made so many threads about, the one that beat you and was emotionally and psychologically abusive too? Why would you even disrespect yourself to still be talking to him, let alone be thinking about him in that way?

And disrespecting your bf who has treated you right and only crime is that he doesn't fuck you everyday?

Omg was thinking the same, I don't think the Gemini is stimulated enough here or else he'd be all about it talking then doing it

I mean the only time she said he initiates is in the middle of the night when dreaming about sth lol

Like I said. This Is a man I was with before. We used to fu*k like rabbits. He always initiated it but yeah the question has been solved. The issue is his meds.

I see, sorry about that, but keep in mind gemini r about the mind not just the humping maybe he is just bored of doing it.

U Scorpios are very sexual creatures. Have u talked to him about doing it in the streets of Paris? It sounds so public maybe he would love to try that

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Just had him on the phone. He was supposed to come but he's gonna sleep to wake up early tomorrow for mother's Day. Cute.

Anyway. He said he doesn't want to bother me. Those were his exact words. And he told me. That he wants to have sex with me all the time he's with me hehe. 😍😍😍 Isn't that cute.

Posted by nanobot

Posted by LalasReturn

Posted by nanobot

"My Scorpio ex is starting to become a sexual fantasy I can't seem to get out of my head. He's always trying to see me but my actual bf isn't and I've told him this already."



Lala, do you think that you are desiring your abuser and "can't get him out of your head" because on some level internally... you don't feel worthy of love and a normal and healthy relationship, so you're trying to pick fights and create problems that don't exist to sabotage what you have with the Gemini man and go back to your ex where you feel the most comfortable?

Because I don't think this drama is actually over not having sex every single say, as a grown woman. You need to look inside yourself, be truthful, and figure out where this is coming from and what the problem really stems from.

Hello.

Thanks. I appreciate you coming from a place of care and not spite.

However I disagree as I haven't picked any fights with my bf. We haven't fought and I haven't even talked about my ex. I only did at the beginning of the relationship when he asked me why we'd broken up.

I do indeed have a history with a abusive men (male family member) and my current bf is aware of that as he's known me since I was very young.

So he understands the sexual struggles I may have.

Maybe more so than myself.

On the other hand I think I may have worded OP wrong. I don't desire to have sex with my ex because I want my ex. I fantasize about it because it was satisfying and frequent. But I also fantasize about my bf. I love him to bits he's the main object of my fantasies. I just recently started ALSO thinking about sex with my ex.

My bf is not aware of that and never will be. Nor is he aware that my ex still texts me (I don't answer anymore. I haven't for a while.)



But yeah I think the real issue is his meds and my adaption or lack thereof to his new medicated self.

It's something I think he and u should work on together.

Maybe I worded it wrong by saying "picking fights" with your boyfriend when I more so meant, trying to justify to yourself and finding reasons why it's not working with him.

If you find your ex popping up in your brain, its not your fault because you can't always control that but its important to identify the "why" behind it ... if it's only about the sex, then that's fine but make sure you're being honest about that with yourself for your own protection and to preserve your current relationship. I personally think it would destroy your gem to know this

I remember the threads you wrote and they were upsetting and disturbing, and even though you're a stranger on this site and I generally lack empathy to most people, I wouldn't wish on anyone to fall back into those same patterns. I hated him for YOU and there were many times that I told you that you were being delusional about him and needed to get out asap. But I am glad that you really did seem to snap out of it and see it for what it was.

So whenever you relive the sex with the ex, remember the bad memories attached to it too.

I think that if you love your bf as much as you say, and he does too, this is something that you can work out and find a solution for. But I would not expect the sex to be as frequent as with the scorp, when the sex is the only level you connected on and what kept the rship alive, in a very very toxic way.

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Ah I see.

Thank you.

Well. I love him. He's the only man I've really loved besides my grandfather.

I really truly love him. And it's not puppy love. It's love.

But yeah when I think about sex with my ex I only think about the sex part haha.

All the rest makes me cringe. In fact when I fantasize about my ex and I having sex i don't really see my ex. It's odd it's like it's just about me reliving the sex with him but without him really being there in the fantasy.

I haven't talked about it to my therapist. I'd be interested to know what she thinks.

Oh yeah he was a price of work.

In my opinion his place is in prison or in some key me of confined ward.

But yeah he doesn't get anymore of my energy.

I just spoke to my bf. I told him that we needed to talk. He isn't coming over. We might see each other tomorrow. Not sure. But he couldn't wait so I told him about the sex. This time I didn't ask him a whole bunch of vague questions but told him what I think. And he told me that he doesn't want to bother me. And that he pretty much wants to have sex with me all the time when he's with me. And that he doesn't initiate because he doesn't want to disturb me. And new NEWS: So apparently when we finish having sex he's disappointed that I don't keep going after he's climaxed. 😍😍😍😍

Hahah.

Ok I'm good now.

So he hasn't changed.

Posted by LethalFantasia

Contrary to popular belief

A Gemini will not touch you with a ten foot pole if there's no positive, organic mental stimulation

Gemini truly is a very ~mental sign in many ways

Idc how hot you are, if your personality is gross to me I am officially turned off

This gemini I've known for over 10 years.

Anyway. Problem solved guys I just literally took you advice and told him.

I guess I was afraid to tell him outright and when we talked about it before I always went round about ways.

Ok so he was supposed to come over tonight. He didnt.

And he told me that basically he pretty much wants to have sex with me the whole time everytime were together but he doesn't want to bother me. Lol. Because when we were younger he thinks he always used to bother me.

Haha.

I told him no thAt I loved it and I would it now.

I asked him what he would like to change moving forward and he said that he would like me to keep going after he climaxes because every time I stop and he says it's disappointing.



So that's all good.