Need Advice on a Guy Juggling Women

Hi All!

I'd love some advice here. I'm a little perplexed and want to see if I am making something out of nothing which I have been told I do but I really think I may be right here. I'm sure there will be plenty of opinions on this.

- Have seen this guy 3 times - last time my house, movie, dinner, pumpkin carving and kissing on the couch. He couldn't take his eyes off me and I thought he was into me. No sex or anywhere close to it has occurred, just kissing and a lot of hand holding.

- A few text throughout the week this week saying hi and today saying he hoped I'd had a good week. (4:30pm)

- I responded saying hi and that I'd had a great week. I knew he was going out of town in the morning and asked if he was going anywhere exciting. (7:00pm)

- He responded "I knew how important it was, I was just trying to get you to call me?".

Of course that was confusing so I called and said what are you talking about? He seemed surprised and I got the feeling he didn't want to talk. He said he had two text coming in at the same time and I'm thinking he thought I was someone else. I said, ah, ok I guess I'll talk to you later and he said "ok sweetie" and I hung up.

I get the feeling he's juggling at least a couple of women. For another reason as well, since our seeing each other last Sunday he friended a girl on Facebook that is also on the online website where I met him. Think that may be where he's headed this weekend. We've only seen each other 3 times so I don't expect him not be be dating but something just doesn't feel right about it.

Any thoughts? Drop him like a hot potato and not answer his calls? Answer them and act like all is ok but just don't make plans to see him anymore? Tell him I feel like he may be juggling a couple of girls and I'm not interested in players? So confront or ignore? Not sure the best way to handle.

No Prince we are not and that's why I know it's ok. But it doesn't feel right and it's like ok, you're busted dude, but I'll over look the fact that you think I'm stupid enough not to realize what's going on. I think that's what's bothering me. Not sure, but agree with you, he can do whatever he wants. Does that make sense?

As you two are not officially together than I dont blame him for keeping his options open. If you continued to date and things seem to be going well, that would be the time to worry about such things and maybe talk about keeping it exclusive.

If you are not happy with him dating other people then I would tell him that. And if he still wants to date other people then drop him.

Libra Sun, makes sense but not that time yet, will want to wait a while before that and you're right he can and should keep his options open.

PrettyMoonlight, this is some of the best advice and level setting I've gotten here. I'm also coming back down to earth and more receptive to listening. So Thank You! This is the route and feels natural, I just have to swallow my pride and know I will not always be in control.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the comments.

So true QLibramale, SO true! =) Thanks!

Yeah, just be straight with him about how you roll. Communication is essential regardless of what stage you are at in any relationship but it would especially behoove you both now being as it is still so early in the game. At this stage emotions probably don't run as deep and it would be much easier to shake him off if both of you are unwilling to budge.

i dunno. if a guy was acting like that, i'd think there was something weird going on. and it wouldn't be like 'oh, he's seeing other girls'. it would be 'we barely know each other, but he's already acting weird.' it's not a good thing. i think it really depends on what your goal is. if you want to have a guy, any guy, then yeah put up with him and see what happens. if you want someone really great, who thinks that you're really great too, he's probably not ever going to be that guy. so i'd drop him. unless i was just bored and he liked taking me to expensive restaurants or something. lol. but he'd be totally out of the running as someone to fall for. i don't think he's looking for love. he seems to just be looking for someone to spend his time with until the girl he falls in love with shows up.

Posted by QLIbraMale
just keep your options open, and also play the field as well. since your not official anything can happen. like you meeting a guy 10x more worth your time.

I agree with this! Why are you only dating him? If he is dating around, you have permission to do the same. Dating =/= relationship.

🙂

Posted by prettymoonlight
I'm glad you liked my advice!

It's ok for him to date... AND it's ok for you to date too (ooooohhhh did little ol' me say that— ..lol..)

Just don't try and make him jealous, it will backfire. If YOU decide to date others-- I'd keep that under my hat.

If you two are right for each other-- you will just find yourself in a relationship before you know it..lol.. men are silly this way.

If you call them everyday-- you're clingy.
If they call you everyday-- they're interested.

If you want to see them all the time-- you're needy.
If they want to see you all the time-- they're interested.

..lol.. get me— ..lol..

If you cook for them, clean for them, do nice things for them-- you're not being nice-- you're being boring.
If they cook for you, clean for you, do nice things for you-- they're smitten, or whipped, they want you bad!

..lol.. I could go on and on...

Men are easy-- give them lots of sex, food and freedom to enjoy their hobbies-- they'll love you forever and they will NEVER cheat. I work with 1000's of them-- leterally!
😉

Please keep me posted!

I agree with this too. Just be the fun, busy girl. He will either sort himself out or you will meet someone who wants to be with you. Either way you win by not really worrying about it. 🙂

I guess the thing is, I don't do suck face with anyone, haha. If I feel like kissing you odds are you've really grabbed my attention. I'm not stressing, or at least when I catch my self any where near trying to think that way just adjust my thinking. We'll see, I think he might be a player and not as sincere as I thought. But no worries, I'm just focused on me right now and am having coffee with another guy this week 🙂-

Does anyone else use an online dating site? If so which ones and have they ever worked for finding anyone to spend time with?

I think it depends on where you are located. Different ones are popular in different cities or with different crowds. I never met a bf on one, but most of my exs now online date so I do know great guys are out there.

I should also say, I am currently dating a guy I met online but it is still early. 🙂

Posted by little_sparrow
I should also say, I am currently dating a guy I met online but it is still early. 🙂

Hahahah.....good luck little sparrow. I like your quote about the peacock 🙂-

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
crazydiamond, youre such a beautiful cappy lady you dont need dating sites 😛

Unfortunately looks really don't matter. All it does is get me lots of emails from men I have nothing in common with.

Are you and your Cappy still going strong?

Dear OP

You have no evidence to have reason to
TORTURE yourself or
SABOTAGE this relationship.

He could have been talking to his mom
brother
boss
colleague out of town
ex-wife

Next time just ask him if he sees
other people.

And tell him how JEALOUS you have
been since that event happened.

If you say it with a SMILE
he'll dig it.

LOL! I totally forgot that was on there. ha ha ha!

Thanks! Good luck to you as well. There are good guys out there. You just have to kiss a bunch of frogs along the way. 🙂

Posted by crzydiam63

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
crazydiamond, youre such a beautiful cappy lady you dont need dating sites 😛

Unfortunately looks really don't matter. All it does is get me lots of emails from men I have nothing in common with.

Are you and your Cappy still going strong?

click to expand

ha ha! Yeah. You have to weed like crazy. If I had a penny for everyguy posed with his car ...

My life is such I don't get out the way I use to. I spent way too much time locked up with my nose in books. Plus, this way I don't have to disappoint anyone when they find out I am a good 10-15 yrs older than I look. They know going in. 🙂

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Ive always had an (unconscious) preference for cardinal sign women, I like their energy, helps me keep on track. Being such a heavily-loaded mutable-sign guy sometimes I need someone to give me a good kick up my rear 🙂

.... and if anyone needs a kick ... 😛

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
hahah

If anyone needs a kick, that is a Libra? 😛

Yes haha

"The Libra shall kick and the Virgo shall receive this kick .... and so it was written."

😛

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
heheh cappies can even see the disadvantages of being good looking 😛 never thought of that one, you caps are something else!. Even though I dont think I'd ever seriously try online dating, I dont have a problem with other people doing it, it works for many, it doesnt for some.

ANd yeah! we're still going strong even after almost 2 years now (time flies!), thank goodness we have such a funny connection, we can end up rolling on the floor laughing 5 minutes after we've started what seemed like a huge argument. I love my cappy to bits and I know she loves me just as much, we help each other in everything, tell each other everything (well amost everyhing lol) and shes so sweet I cant keep my hands off her for more than a few minutes hahh.

Awwwwwwww.....that's so cute. Lucky lady your Cappy 🙂

Posted by little_sparrow

Posted by crzydiam63

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
crazydiamond, youre such a beautiful cappy lady you dont need dating sites 😛

Unfortunately looks really don't matter. All it does is get me lots of emails from men I have nothing in common with.

Are you and your Cappy still going strong?

ha ha! Yeah. You have to weed like crazy. If I had a penny for everyguy posed with his car ...

click to expand

I'm not sure why mean think posing with their car is appealing. A bathroom mirror shot is an immediate, NEXT. Oh, and one where they have their shirt off and aren't outside doing some recreation, yuk, makes me think, perv. Oh, and posing with the deer they bagged. And the list goes one.

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom

Posted by little_sparrow
My life is such I don't get out the way I use to. I spent way too much time locked up with my nose in books. Plus, this way I don't have to disappoint anyone when they find out I am a good 10-15 yrs older than I look. They know going in. 🙂

hahah I know what you mean, I think Im slowly becoming that way too, Im getting addicted to reading! in fact today cappy and I spent quite some time at her appartment just reading, I totally got hooked on a book shes reading for her thesis.

click to expand

Reading my ass...........bwahahahaha

Posted by crzydiam63

Posted by little_sparrow

Posted by crzydiam63

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
crazydiamond, youre such a beautiful cappy lady you dont need dating sites 😛

Unfortunately looks really don't matter. All it does is get me lots of emails from men I have nothing in common with.

Are you and your Cappy still going strong?

ha ha! Yeah. You have to weed like crazy. If I had a penny for everyguy posed with his car ...

I'm not sure why mean think posing with their car is appealing. A bathroom mirror shot is an immediate, NEXT. Oh, and one where they have their shirt off and aren't outside doing some recreation, yuk, makes me think, perv. Oh, and posing with the deer they bagged. And the list goes one.

click to expand

Gold necklace? Automatic next. LOL

"- He responded "I knew how important it was, I was just trying to get you to call me?". "

BUSTED. But you know the drill already; you just started to date, blah.... BUT, this does sound like someone he really likes so proceed with caution. I know quite a few people who do online dating and there are mixed results. Most of it is good though. Even a couple of marriages & serious relationships have come out of it. Just be smart as usual and be thankful for these tech errors. 😉

Posted by CappyLuv30
@crzydiam63
Ooo girl we're both Caps with Sagi Venuses. 😉
Not sure about you but I love to grow and learn from my SO if not, really what's the point? I'm easy-going in matters of the heart, passionate (fire!), goofy lol but I also crave freedom in relationships. If I feel like the commitment is being forced, I run. If my mind is captured though, I'm hooked with no escape plan. I do have a big heart and I love with all my heart.

I hear that Cappyluv!

Posted by ellessque
I like to look at the sites for fun always saying to myself that one day I will try it just for fun. Who isnt' going to turn down a free night out and a meal? 🙂

the pictures are what get me rolling with laughter....

in the bathroom.....next
at the library.....next
with their shirt off.....next
with a chic in the photo....next
with their head cut off in the pic (only a body shot).....next
blurry......next
posing with a gang sign....next

ROFLMAO

do they even think about how they may be perceived? I mean, if I were to dare put a pic up on my profile I would critique the hell out of it.

*smh*

...and what is up with the ones next to their vehicle? I just don't get it. are they trying to impress me or other dudes?

Bwaaahhhhhaaaa, some more good examples. Ellessque, I'd rather eat scrapes from the trash can before I'd want dinner with most of the men on these sites. If you ever try it you may come to the same conclusion, haha.